Jungkook's POV

I couldn't calm my racing heart as I slowly made my way toward Jimin's room. I took my time, being so scared of what he could say when we were face to face.

I assumed he had seen my posts and wanted to talk about them, but what would he say? Would he believe that I purely meant it in a friendly way? Or would he suspect more? Especially after everything that has happened between us recently...

After hesitating for a long while I finally brought my clammy fist up to his door to knock lightly, almost hoping he wouldn't hear it so I could just run back to my room and hide from all my problems.

The door opened and Jimin peeked through the gap, he looked up at me with big nervous eyes while he scratched at the edge of the door slightly. He cleared his throat before standing back and opening the door wider, gesturing for me to enter.

I chewed on my lip and walked into the room, realising Hoseok was no longer here, he'd probably gone to go see Tae and Jin. I sat on the edge of Hoseok's bed before Jimin came and sat on his own bed opposite me.

"Are you okay?" He mumbled and I looked up at him, he had his hands in his lap and he looked at me with his head tilted slightly like a confused dog.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I responded, I didn't want to completely assume he'd seen the posts since he hadn't commented at all, "stop trying to hide things from me... please..." he frowned sadly and I gulped.

"You hid things from me first..." I mumbled under my breath and he sighed, "look I saw the posts and I just want to talk to you, you said you wished I would talk to you and now I'm trying to and you're just shutting me down." He was starting to get annoyed so I was starting to freak out.

What the fuck am I doing? I just want to fix everything and I'm somehow still making things worse with my stupid stubborn attitude...

"I'm sorry Hyung, I'm just sorry about everything I don't know why I keep being like this I keep taking my bad mood out on you and that's the last thing I want to do... I'm so sorry..." I avoided his eyes and I could tell mine were starting to water.

"I just want to understand Jungkook... please just explain to me why I upset you so much? What did I do? And what do you want me to do now?" He shuffled forward and rested a hand on my knee, I looked up to him briefly before shaking my head, "you shouldn't have to do anything, I'm just stupid."

"You're not stupid Jungkook. But I do wish you wouldn't be so worried, I want to help you get over whatever is upsetting you, but you won't let me help you." He frowned and sighed, "I don't want to burden you Hyung, I'm sorry about what I posted, I regretted it as soon as I had."

I wasn't lying, I did regret it, but not for the reason I was making it out to be, "well I'm glad you posted, I was flattered but also just relieved, at least I knew I could talk to you, or so I thought." He shrugged and I wiped my sweaty hands on my jeans.

"Well you can talk to me, I want you to talk to me, I want you to stop avoiding me Hyung... it's slowly draining all my happiness away, seeing you being your usual self with everyone else but just to avoid scandals you're completely blanking me most of the time... I miss you Hyung, so much." I finally let out and I felt a tear roll down my cheek.

Jimin immediately jumped up from his spot on the bed and crouched in front of me, he lifted my chin and wiped my tears. The worry and guilt his expression held just made me want to cry more, "I'm so sorry Kook-Ah" he choked out before crying with me.

I pulled him forward and wrapped him in a hug, my whole body melted into his the second I was holding him in my arms.

Everything felt better.

All my worries faded away.

I could feel his chest rising and falling with each breath and the way he shook as he sobbed against my shoulder, I gently stroked up and down his back in soothing motions in hopes to calm his tears.

I was still crying, but the tears were just falling down my face, I felt at peace, I was calm and happy and relieved with him being this close to me.

When he eventually stopped crying he pulled back slightly and sat beside me, "I didn't know I was hurting you Jungkook, I was just doing what I thought was best for Bangtan without taking into account that Bangtan could never exist if we weren't all happy with each other. I didn't know I would upset you so much just by staying away... do I really mean that much to you?" He questioned with a sad frown.

"Of course you do Jimin, I mean, all you hyung's mean so much to me but surely you know by now how badly I need you... you mean so so much to me Jimin, I want your happiness more than mine but I'm also selfish, I'm at my happiest when you're around, I just want you by my side all the time and I'm just always hoping I can also cause you happiness." I started to blush as I was speaking, starting to feel embarrassed by how honest I was being.

"Thank you Jungkook. I'm firstly really flattered, but I'm worried about you, you shouldn't think about me so much, focus on yourself..." he rubbed my shoulder and I sighed, "focusing on myself involves focussing on you though Hyung, if I want myself to be happy, then I need to make sure you're happy."

"Why Jungkook? Last time we spoke you said you didn't even think we were close friends... and now you're putting my happiness before your own?" He questioned and I saw how hurt he looked when he recalled our last meaningful conversation.

"I didn't mean that Hyung, I was just upset, of course I think we're close, you're my best friend Jimin, and I understand if I'm not necessarily your first thought when you think of your best friend but just know that you're always my first thought Hyung." I managed to look sincerely into his eyes so he would really believe me and he looked shocked.

"Well, I suppose you normally are my first thought now I think about it... I hated avoiding you Jungkook, I'm so sorry I don't ever want to do it again but after Namjoon suggested it I was just so scared of being the cause of Bangtan's end..." he looked so guilty I started to smile slightly.

"Don't be sorry anymore Hyung, I understand. It really hurt me, more than I thought it would, but I understand why you were scared. I don't think a scandal could ruin us though, our fans are so loyal even if they thought we were together I don't think they'd hate us for it. Some might, but maybe those fans don't matter if that's all they're worried about." I explained and he thought for a moment.

"I suppose that's a good way of putting it... if any of us were to get together romantically then the fans that didn't support us aren't really fans at all are they? I see posts all the time, from real fans, that just want us to be happy and don't care how just as long as we're truly happy. Those fans are the ones that matter." He smiled softly and I got lost in his eyes.

"Are you happy?" I asked and he was taken back, "well... I suppose so." He shrugged and I frowned, "That's not a yes. What would make you happy Jimin?" I pushed and he looked to the floor in thought.

"I'm not sure Jungkook, I'd be a lot happier if you... well, if you were happier I guess. You seem so down lately, and I know it was partly my fault and we're good now but I'm just hoping that makes you happier again." He nodded, confirming his own reasons.

"I am happier now, now that you're talking to me again, and now I know you'll stop avoiding me. It was making fans worry too you know? Not just the ones who ship us, a lot of fans were worried about us." I explained and he looked even guiltier.

"I know... I noticed it too, I just tried to ignore it, hoping that they'd get over it, it scared me even more that by me trying to avoid any romantic rumours about us, I had potentially caused even more rumours by ignoring you. Don't ever let me do it again... I mean, I'll try not to as well anyway, but if I ever get like that again please just talk to me. You're our maknae Jungkook-ah, anything you say I'd listen to, I really care about you, so much Kookie."

The look he gave me screamed love... but I could never assume that, he's made it clear plenty of times that I'm no more important than the other members, but even just him saying what he did has made me happier.

Besides if he did have a little love in his eyes as he looked at me, it could always be brotherly love, I'm just getting my hopes up still after all the years of nothing happening.

"Thank you for everything Hyung." I spoke confidently and he smiled wider, "thank you Jungkook. I know you told me to stop but once again I'm sorry. I'm glad you can forgive me, I... I love you Jungkook." His hesitation made my heart jump.

Why did he hesitate?

He tells me he loves me all the time... why did this feel different?

"I love you too Hyung." I frowned as I spoke, feeling strange about the interaction, and how tense the atmosphere suddenly felt.

"I should probably go now. But thank you for talking to me." I bit my lip and he cleared his throat, "of course." He mumbled before walking me to the door.

He opened it and let me out, I didn't hear it close behind me and was tempted to look back but convinced myself to keep walking.

"Uh- Jungkook wait." I heard his voice call to me and I reluctantly turned to look at him again as he came jogging after me, "uhm... you can say no but, could I stay in your room tonight?" He asked, fiddling with the slightly long sleeves of his woollen jumper and staring at the floor.

I felt my heart flutter and complete joy overwhelm me, I tried not to squeal or sound too excited in my response, "sure, I'd love for you to." I smiled brightly and he looked up to me to return the gesture.

We walked toward my room and I couldn't wipe the grin from my face, I sighed in content as I sat onto my couch, he giggled slightly and sat beside me with his legs crossed cutely.

"You look very happy." He laughed and I looked over to him, I could picture the goofy bunny smile plastered to my face as my eyes sparkled with absolute adoration for the boy before me, "I'm just so relieved Hyung, I'm so happy to have you back."

"What do you mean?" He tilted his head like a puppy again and I couldn't help but coo making him sit up straight and blush in embarrassment, "you know what I mean... just, us being back to normal, how it should be." I sighed and he nodded.

"I've missed this too Kookie, it's strange how it only took a couple weeks apart for us to almost have mental breakdowns... I really could never live without you Jungkook." He leant into me and I smiled softly down at him as he cuddled against me, I wrapped an arm around him and everything felt perfect.

Even if he doesn't love me back, this is all I need.

"I can't even imagine life without you. This is perfect, right here, right now. Well, not quite perfect but it's more than enough." I mumbled and he looked up to me.

"What would make it perfect?" He asked sweetly with his curious eyes and I almost got lost in a trance, "that doesn't matter, like I said, this is more than enough, let's not ruin it." I brushed it aside and he sat further upright and out of my reach.

"Don't do this again, talk to me, I want to make it perfect for you. If I can..." He pleaded. He looked away with a frown at the end and it looked as though he was beating himself up over something.

"You're the only one that could make it perfect Hyung." I spoke softly and he gulped before looking back to me, "r-really?" He stuttered and I had to hold back my fanboy smile at his cuteness.

I noticed him playing with his sweater paws again and pulled one of his hands into my own. His eyes followed our hands and I smiled at the cute shocked pouty expression he held.

"Lets go to sleep, it's getting late." I pulled him up and let go of his hand before starting to take off my shirt. He quickly turned away before nodding, I could see the blush climbing up his neck and it made me feel confident.

"You're still comfortable with me sleeping like this right?" I gestured to my half naked body, now only in boxers after not wanting to change into pyjama bottoms. I watched as he nodded, still trying to avoid looking at me.

He hesitated before pulling his sweater over his head leaving him in a plain white top, and then pulling off his jeans.

I began climbing up to bed and, not long after, he followed me up the ladder. We were laying on our sides, facing one another, on my slightly larger than normal single bed.

He was still very close to me.

I pulled the covers over us and draped an arm over his waist, "goodnight Hyung." I whispered and he smiled, "sleep well Kookie." He replied and I nodded, "I will now you're here."

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Wooop ya boi is backkk

If nobody saw my announcements basically a storm struck a pole outside my house and caused my WiFi box to explode so I had no internet for like a week...

But I have new internet now so I'm back!

I did also say I wasn't gonna upload until "tomorrow" and I mean where I am it's past midnight so technically I didn't lie...

I got super carried away when I started writing this and just couldn't stop soooo here's an update for you! 😅💜💜💜