"everything alright, hyuck?"

"no..."

"come here, tell me what's the matter."

the tanned male didn't hesitate a second before jumping under the covers by ten's side, letting the older boy engulf him in a hug while tears slipped out of his eyes unconsciously.

"i-it's mark, again..." donghyuck whispered.

"i had guessed it was about him again." ten sighed. "have you tried talking to him like i told you?"

donghyuck sniffled, shaking his head left and right.

"you didn't?" ten frowned. "but why? you guys need to clear things out..."

"he's going to reject me..." donghyuck said while crying.

"he would never. you told me mark said he wanted to be your boyfriend." ten refreshed donghyuck's mind.

"yeah, but that was... almost three weeks ago..." donghyuck srated crying louder. "now he probably hates me for ignoring him..."

with another sigh, ten tightened his embrace on the younger boy, letting him wet his clothes while he emptied himself of all the tears he had in stock, just like the past weeks.

even though the tanned male appeared to be joyful and happy whenever he was at a concert or outside, the poor boy was a complete wreck on the inside, on the verge of a mental breakdown.

he liked mark so much. his feelings for super m's maknae were undeniable and he was very aware of them. and honestly, he would have done anything to get with mark a few weeks earlier.

when mark had kissed him that night in atlanta, everything had felt so right for donghyuck. it was as if everything had fallen into place, as if everything that should have happened had happened. and donghyuck wasn't ashamed to say he wanted more than just one kiss and a hug, he wanted mark, for ever, as a lover.

but things don't always go the way people want them too...

taeyong's appearance in the room that night had acted like an eye-opener for donghyuck.

that night, he had realised how wrong all of this was.

he had become famous now, and his figure was associated to lucas from super m, because they were supposed to be a loving couple.

and by kissing mark, who was one of lucas' teammates, donghyuck was – supposedly – cheating on his boyfriend with one of his co-members. and if someone came to learn about that, it would be the end.

donghyuck wasn't fond of being famous. he hated all the attention he received, he hated standing on stage and having everyone applauding him, he hated walking on the streets and having people stopping them because they recognised him, he hated it all. he'd rather be anonymous, able to hide in a crowd and never have anyone glancing his way to talk to him.

but worse than being famous, donghyuck couldn't imagine how bad things would be for him if he came to be famous for cheating on his boyfriend with his co-member.

with that, everything would change for the worse...

he wouldn't be applauded by the public anymore.

he would be shouted down at.

he wouldn't be stopped in the street to be talked to.

he would be insulted.

and worse, he wouldn't be the only one to receive all of this hate.

he would bring mark, and in a way super m, down with him too.

and donghyuck absolutely didn't want that. super m was his favourite boyband ever, and they didn't deserve to have their reputation tarnished because of a stupid mistake donghyuck would have made.

all of this was why donghyuck had distanced himself from mark.

as much as he liked the older boy and wanted to go further with him, he knew that if people came to learn about their blossoming love, things could degenerate, and they wouldn't ever be able to come back in time.

ignoring mark was hard for him. it was one of the hardest things he ever had to do. but it was for the better, that's what he kept telling himself. it would prevent himself from receiving more unwanted attention, and prevent super m from being dragged in a scandal.

donghyuck had had to fight against his feelings not to approach the older boy or smile at him each second. mark had become an addiction, and addictions didn't disappear from one day to another...

distancing himself from mark had forced him to get closer to lucas, his fake-boyfriend, to fill-in the gap that mark's loss had created in his heart. but he wasn't stupid, he knew that lucas' presence could never be compared to mark's. so that's why he found himself crying by himself or in ten's arms every night.

around a week ago, when they were in houston, ten had advised him that he shouldn't force himself to make his feelings disappear for super m's sake. he told him that if he had feelings for mark, he should let them fuel him, and he should tell mark about it.

ten insisted that donghyuck should feel happy and not hold himself back.

it had taken a few days for donghyuck to understand that, but he had finally realised that this was what he should be doing. he shouldn't be hurting himself for the sake of super m. he deserved better.

but everything wasn't so simple. did he expect that he could go back into mark's arms three weeks after ignoring him and pretending that he didn't exist anymore? there was no way mark would welcome him again.

mark may have said things that day in atlanta, he may have said he had feelings for donghyuck, but these surely died down while odnghyuck ignored him. and if donghyuck confessed now, mark would surely laugh at him and break him even more than he already was. and did he want that to happen? obviously not.

"donghyuck, look at me." ten spoke, pulling donghyuck's head up from his chest so that the younger male could look at him in the eyes. "mark is as devasted as you are, and he does like you, anyone with eyes can see it. i swear he won't reject you if you go to him and ask him for forgiveness, so, please, go talk to him, because you're hurting both of you by not doing so."

and that's what was needed for donghyuck to decided that he would need to have a talk with mark, even if it stressed the hell out of him.

♪

"wow, it's weird seeing this thing in real when you see it in almost every american movie." lucas declared, his eyes fixed on the golden gate bridge that was standing in front of their eyes.

"it's also weird seeing it perfectly fine knowing that it gets completely destroyed in most movies too."kai added, making lucas nod energetically.

by their side, donghyuck stayed silent, seated on a large piece of cloth while the eight boys shared a picnic in a parc that was quite empty for a thursday at noon.

super m had finally reached san fransisco, one of their last destinations before going back to korea and living their normal lives again.

donghyuck didn't look forward to the moment they would set a foot on korean ground again. not because he wasn't looking forward to going back home or seeing his friends, not at all – he was so excited to go back to live in his shared apartment with jaemin, and tell his friends how amazing the united states were. actually, he wasn't looking forward to leaving the us because he had made a bet with himself that he needed to respect: he would need to have a talk with mark before the end of the tour to clarify everything. and considering he had no idea what he would tell the boy or how he would voice his feelings out, he wasn't really looking forward to it.

"i'm going on a quick walk, i'll be back soon." donghyuck declared, standing up and dusting his pants off.

"do you want lucas to accompany you?" baekhyun asked.

donghyuck's eyes fell on lucas, a small smile appearing on his face at the sight of the idol trying to fit a large piece of sandwich in his mouth. "it's okay. he's not done with his food yet."

"okay, be careful then."

the tanned male smiled at the group of boys before walking away in the beautiful park.

as soon as he was out of ear reach, ten and taeyong turned towards mark and stared at him intensely.

"what?" the boy asked, his mouth full.

"go with him." taeyong replied.

"i'm not done with my food yet." mark replied, pointing at the food in his plate.

"get on your fucking feet and go talk to him right now." ten growled, and mark knew better than to anger the tiny beast that was chittaphon leechaiyapornkul.

mark gulped down everything he had in his mouth before standing up and running in the way donghyuck went a few seconds earlier. he found the younger male still walking towards what looked like a small view point, just near the water, from where you could see the golden gate bridge very well.

the canadian smiled as he saw donghyuck leaning on the ledge of the fence, surely to look at the famous red bridge. on his side, mark was admiring donghyuck, looking divinely perfect under the shadow of the tree, in front of the golden gate bridge.

you may think three weeks of not talking to someone would make feelings change, and mark's feelings really did.

mark used to like donghyuck and want to be his boyfriend because he had been hit by love at first sight, but everything was so different right now. after three weeks of having no interaction with the younger, mark couldn't get him off his mind, and he was certain that the feelings he had for the younger had turned into love.

mark loved donghyuck, and he wanted him for himself, forever. it wasn't just a silly crush anymore. it was attraction, need, want, and love.

and he needed to tell donghyuck about it.

with a fast-beating heart, mark took a deep breath and walked in donghyuck's direction, taking careful steps not to catch donghyuck's attention.

once he was standing on the small viewpoint platform donghyuck was on, he forgot how to breathe and how to talk, questioning his every act.

was talking with donghyuck now a good idea?

would donghyuck reject him? would he run away?

did mark know the right words to use?

was donghyuck happier with the way things were right now?

should mark just leave?

sadly, mark had no time to answer all of those questions as donghyuck turned around, a small yelp of surprise escaping his lips as he saw mark standing a meter away from him.

"m-mark..." the tanned male murmured, his eyes wide and his lips trembling.

"hey..." mark replied, his eyes fixed on the beauty standing in front of him.

the two boys stayed silent for the next seconds, obviously not knowing what to say to each other.

it was their first intense eye-contact since the kiss they had shared in atlanta, three painful weeks ago. it was their first interaction since then, and it seemed like both of them had forgot how they were supposed to act.

in a way, they were right asking themselves how to act, everything was so ambiguous that they didn't even know what they were... acquittances? friends? lovers? boyfriends?

"t-the view is nice..." mark stuttered, wanting to slap himself as soon as the words left his mouth. what a great awkward conversation starter.

"h-huh... it is." donghyuck nodded, turning around to peek at the golden gate bridge again.

mark hummed, cursing at himself because they were back to not knowing what to tell each other after this very smooth intervention from mark – note the sarcasm.

the canadian male walked by donghyuck's side and leant on the ledge of the fence facing the gate as donghyuck leant his back against it.

both boys wanted to run away from this awkward and nerve-wracking moment, and they both wanted nothing more in the world than avoiding this conversation, but they were intelligent enough to know that if they were both here, right now, with no one else going to disturb them, it was fate's doing, and they should use this opportunity to solve whatever was happening between both of them.

"i-i'm sorry..." donghyuck spoke first, making mark turn his head to look at him.

"you're sorry?" mark whispered as donghyuck looked down at his feet, avoiding mark's gaze on him.

"i'm sorry for avoiding you, and ignoring you, and just... disappearing without a word." donghyuck explained.

"you didn't disappear. you were there, i could see you." mark replied.

"i may have been there physically, but i wasn't there mentally."

mark hummed again, his eyes diverting back to the bridge.

"i-i know it doesn't justify anything, but... b-but i was scared." donghyuck continued, turning around and facing mark, even if the older boy wasn't looking at him. "i-i... i realised everything that could happen if anyone came to learn about w-what was happening between us. the world thinks i'm lucas' boyfriend, and if something ambiguous was seen between us, super m would have been involved into a huge scandal and this would have compromised all of your careers."

it took a few seconds for mark to answer.

"you care too much about others. sometimes, you should be selfish and wish for your happiness instead of wanting what's better for the others." he spoke wisely, turning his head to look back into donghyuck's eyes. they were wide open and glossy, staring at mark as if he was his everything.

donghyuck blinked, the action causing a tear to escape his eye. he didn't wipe it, leaving the drop roll down his cheek until to crashed on the wooden platform below his feet.

"y-you probably hate me now... i'm so stupid... i-i... i just wanted to tell you that... t-that i like all the little attentions you gave me, and... i like everything you did for me, and i loved the kiss we shared because... b-because i fell in love with you mark..."

by now, tears couldn't stop cascading down donghyuck's cheeks and his heart was threatening to jump off his chest. he felt completely naked under mark's stare, as if with each word he spoke, with each of his feelings that he voiced out, he was undressing himself even more for mark to see all of him in his complete bareness.

"i-i just want you t-to know that... i'm sorry for h-hurting you, and being so stupid. i d-do love you, mark. i h-have for a while, i was just too s-scared to admit it..." he continued. "n-now you surely hate me, and you surely d-don't want to have anything to d-do with me, and... and i t-totally understand, because i'm s-so stupid and i-it's all my fault. n-nothing would have happened if i hadn't- "

mark had enough of donghyuck shaming himself out loud. he had enough of hearing donghyuck insulting himself falsely and spitting nonsense. so, he did the only thing he judged to be able to stop the boy's rambling...

he cupped donghyuck's cheeks with his hands and lifted his head before pressing his lips firmly onto donghyuck's, making sure that the other boy could neither speak nor run away.

to say donghyuck was surprised by the kiss would be an understatement.

he had expected lots of reactions from mark following this conversation. mark being angry, screaming at him, hitting him, and even mark being completely stoic and not saying anything or not showing any emotion. but such a loving and powerful kiss was definitely not on his long list.

the tanned male allowed himself to melt into the kiss, his eyes closing on their own as he leant against mark's body while the other moved one of his hands from his cheek to his waist.

they pulled away from the kiss after a few seconds that seemed like hours to them.

"listen, donghyuck." mark spoke, his voice raspy, as he stared deep into donghyuck's lost and fearful eyes. "i want you to stop saying so much bullshit on yourself. you are the most beautiful soul to exist on this awful world, and you were ready to compromise your happiness for the sake of a boyband. no one else but you would have been ready to make such a sacrifice. and that's not being stupid, that's being brave. you are brave, donghyuck, the bravest person i know. so, please, stop thinking i will hate you for that, because it only makes me adore you more..."

this time, it was donghyuck's turn to reach for mark's lips with his own and to initiate another passionate kiss. donghyuck's arms wrapped around mark's neck on their own as mark placed his own around donghyuck's waist, pulling the younger against his body as their lips danced together in a loving ballet.

"i love you donghyuck." mark spoke again as soon as their lips parted. "i love you so much, and these past weeks without you have been hell for me. i didn't know what to think when you left after that kiss, but now, i know exactly what i want, and i won't let it slip between my fingers." he continued before smiling brightly at donghyuck. "lee donghyuck, you would like to be my boyfriend?"

a smile made its way on donghyuck's face as he nodded. "yes!" he exclaimed, before pulling mark down again and gluing their lips together for the third time today in their first official boyfriend kiss.