life was going well. perfectly well for everyone, except donghyuck.

there had to be something wrong with him.

since he had gotten back from the super m dorm, a few days ago, he had been silent and sad and also depressed. but he didn't really know why.

he hoped he would be able to shrug it off and bear with it, without bothering his friends about his worries, but he hadn't been able to do so.

"donghyuck, do you still not feel better?" sungchan asked worriedly when the golden boy plopped down next to him at the canteen with a frown on his face.

"no, i'm fine..." he replied in a low voice before digging in his food.

sungchan watched him with a pained expression, wanting nothing more but for his friend to be okay and happy. donghyuck was such a precious person that always wanted others' well-being, but he should never forget to take care of himself before, because he deserved it more than anyone else.

"huh... someone is sending you lots of messages..." sungchan said after a while as donghyuck's phone kept lighting up, displaying new messages.

donghyuck was quick to grab the phone and read the messages without opening them. as soon as this was done, he scowled and switched his phone off completely before throwing it back on the table, screen against the wooden material.

"it's not important." he spat, his grip on his spoon tightening.

sungchan stated at him confusedly. "okay then..."

both boys got back to eating in silence. sungchan knew better than angering donghyuck even more. he probably had a lot on his mind, and in those cases, he knew that he sould give donghyuck a bit more time.

but on his side, donghyuck felt the urge to talk, to scream, to let it all out... his eyes kept glancing at his phone. as hard as he had tried ignoring them, he couldn't forget about the messages that he had just received nor those he had received the past days...

mark lee

hi donghyuck

i hope you got home safely

i was happy that you stayed over

good night donghyuck

mark lee

hey

how are you doing today?

mark lee

donghyuck??

everything alright?

why are you not answering?

i'm worried

mark lee

please donghyuck

answer me

are you mad at me?

did i do something wrong?

are you ignoring me?

♪

"wow, you look... huh..."

"like shit. i know, baek." mark sighed, rolling his eyes.

"yeah, huh... i was going to say tired but... yeah..." baekhyun replied, looking at mark worriedly. "what's wrong?"

"nothing..." mark shrugged it off.

"you're not a good liar." the leader scoffed.

"it's nothing, i swear." mark insisted, making baekhyun sigh.

"well, if it's nothing then drop this frown and put on a smile on your face for the interview. oh, and stop by the makeup artists so that they make you look like... like you have nothing going on."

mark hummed. "yeah, sure."

baekhyun walked away, leaving mark on his own with his dark thoughts.

it had been four days since the last time mark had had an interaction with donghyuck. the tanned beauty had completely ignored him ever since.

mark had sent him messages every day, getting worried about the boy who was usually so lively and so optimistic, but to no avail. none of the messages had even been opened.

the canadian idol didn't know what had happened to cause this. hell, he didn't even know if donghyuck ignored him or if he couldn't answer.

perhaps that donghyuck had broken his phone. this would explain why he hadn't even seen the messages...

or perhaps that donghyuck had had an accident and that he was in the hospital. or perhaps he was dead...

mark held himself from screaming out of frustration. he needed to let it all out. he needed to voice his feelings out and to explain to someone what was wrong so that he could get it off his chest and ask for advice.

but he couldn't do that.

he wasn't supposed to have donghyuck's number, let alone talk to him. heck, he was an idol and he wasn't even supposed to date anyone – even if there was a plan going on for him to fake-date some random girl. he would never be able to explain to someone all of this without getting scolded and being threatened.

he was in this alone...

before mark could curse out loud and start crying because of the anger that had bloated up inside of him, his phone vibrated, signalling that he had just received a notification.

the idol pulled the device out immediately, his whole body trembling when he read donghyuck's contact name on the screen.

he didn't wait a second to open it, impatient to know what donghyuck had to tell him after four long days of disappearing. but well, he probably should have waited to be alone in his bedroom to open this message...

cutie

please don't talk to me anymore

this was a mistake

we don't belong to the same world

we shouldn't have gotten closer in the first place

forget about me please

it will be better off this way

goodbye mark

it took mark all of his sanity not to throw his phone with all of his strength to the floor.

but not doing so didn't prevent him from breaking down in sobs less than half an hour before his interview.

♪

"it's okay... let it all out..." jaemin whispered, rubbing donghyuck's back comfortingly as the tanned male sobbed loudly into the crook of his neck.

three more days had passed since donghyuck had had the courage to open mark's texts and send a reply.

he had believed that cutting ties with him would make everything better, as if everything could be normal again, but it was far from that actually.

donghyuck was broken, smashed into tiny pieces that he believed were impossible to gather back together. but for what? he still didn't know.

there were so much things on his mind these past days, so many stupid details that made him unhappy... and he believed that his uneasiness was the consequences of the sum of all of those little meaningless things.

"j-jaemin..." donghyuck cried loudly. "i-i can't..."

"shh... calm down, donghyuck." jaemin pulled him closer against him. "of course, you can. you're so strong, donghyuck."

"l-life is s-so fake..." donghyuck continued sobbing. "n-nothing is r-real... f-famous people a-are... t-they are h-hypocrites... t-they're liars..."

"why are you saying such things?" jaemin asked softly.

"m-mark's company... t-they want to... to m-make mark date a w-western artist..." donghyuck sniffed. "l-like... fake d-dating. t-to gain more p-popularity..."

jaemin sighed, his hand caressing the back of donghyuck's neck in a gentle manner.

they were both alone, in their shared apartment, cuddled on donghyuck's bed. jaemin was supposed to hang out with his boyfriends today, but he had told them to go without him because donghyuck wasn't doing well.

"everything is about popularity for them, donghyuck... it's... it's almost normal." he explained.

"b-but it shouldn't be..." donghyuck shook his head. "m-mark didn't even seem bothered... a-and... and he t-told me he d-didn't want to date h-her..."

"donghyuck, there are dozens of fake couples just existing for the sake of the media and their fame..."jaemin informed. "and why are you so bothered by this? what if mark fake-dates someone? i thought you were interested in lucas more..."

donghyuck, who had managed to calm down a bit, got back to sobbing loudly at jaemin's words, alarming his best friend immediately.

"okay, okay, donghyuck, shh..." jaemin hugged donghyuck. "what's the matter? why are you crying now? i'm sorry."

"i-it's just that... l-lucas isn't l-like i imagined h-he would be..." donghyuck explained between his sobs.

yeah, this was a big deal for donghyuck.

it had taken him a few days to realise that this was contributing to his uneasiness, but when he had acknowledged it, everything had seemed to make sense.

donghyuck was disappointed.

lucas had been his bias since the first time he had watched a super m music video. his eyes had fallen onto the giant and handsome male, and his brain had clicked, as if to say 'yes, he's the one i want'.

following that, donghyuck had wondered way too many times how amazing it would be to be embraced in lucas' muscular arms, or to have the tall male as his boyfriend.

his little fantasies had made his nights livelier, and his days much better. it had helped him to cope with every hardship of life, because he knew that no matter what happened, super m and mostly lucas would be there for him, to help him get his mind off dark thoughts.

but after spending a whole afternoon with him, donghyuck realised he had just fallen for a lie.

the perfect lucas that he had created in his mind was nowhere near what lucas was in real. in fact, the character donghyuck's imagination had created was nothing like lucas, except for his face and body.

lucas wasn't the helplessly romantic boy that donghyuck had imagined. he wasn't one to take care of donghyuck as if he was the most precious gem existing. and he wasn't the sweet boy that donghyuck wanted.

in fact, he was just lucas. an amazing rapper, singer, dancer and visual. he was a great person, donghyuck couldn't deny that. he had had so much fun hanging out with him the other day. he was really funny and goofy. he had lots of qualities, but sadly, he wasn't the way donghyuck would have liked him to be. or not the way he would have wanted his boyfriend to be, anyway.

"idols are just human beings, you know?" jaemin spoke slowly. "they're just people like you and i that were given an amazing opportunity. but they're not different from everyone else. they have their flaws, and who knows... if they hadn't been famous, they could actually have aspired to becoming psychopaths or members of the mafia... but people tend to forget about that."

"yeah..." donghyuck sniffed loudly, using one of his hands to rub his eyes. "you're right..."

"of course, i am." jaemin chuckled. "now, donghyuck, you're someone amazing and i know that you will find someone that's perfect for you in no time. so, forget about those idols that are nothing but trouble, okay?"

"hmm..." donghyuck hummed, holding tigheter onto his best friend.

"now, how about i take you out for ice cream or something like that? just us two, as best friends."jaemin asked.

"i'd love that." donghyuck mumbled.

"perfect then! let's dry those tears and get ready!" jaemin clapped his hands before sitting up, making donghyuck do so as well.

the tanned male chuckled slightly at his best friend giddiness.

it had felt good to let it all out. it was as if a weight had been removed from his chest.

so, sure, he didn't feel like everything had been solved yet, but at least, he felt better.

and this was all that mattered to him for the moment.

♪

"it's so good to see you with a bright smile again, donghyuck!" jeno beamed, wrapping an arm around of donghyuck's shoulders and pulling him close as they were walking through the long corridor to get out of school.

"it's good not to feel like crying every second too." donghyuck chuckled, leaning against his friend's side. it had been two days since his breakdown in jaemin's arms, and even though everything wasn't perfect, he felt much better and was able to smile truthfully again.

"i bet it's good." jaemin interrupted, placing a hand between jeno and donghyuck's bodies and pushing them apart. "but jeno is still my boyfriend, so back off." he said playfully.

"of course." donghyuck rolled his eyes.

"hey! asshole!" renjun suddenly screamed before running towards the three males and jumping on top of jaemin. "he's my boyfriend too. don't forget about that!" the smaller male scolded his youngest boyfriend by hitting his head.

"how could i forget?" jaemin snorted, pulling renjun up so that he was carrying him like a baby in the middle of the school's corridor. "you're mine too, actually." he added before pecking renjun's lips.

donghyuck watched the three boys interacting with a smile before slowling his pace to leave the three of them alone between boyfriends.

"they're sweet, aren't they?" he spoke, catching the attention of the two other males that were walking a few steps behind jeno, renjun and jaemin.

"you talked?"

the tanned male turned his head to look at chenle and jisung – to whom he had just talked – only to find them hand in hand. they were surely in the middle of a lovey-dovey conversation that donghyuck had interrupted.

"nevermind. i'll go to sungchan and shotaro." donghyuck shook his head, allowing chenle and jisung to keep walking as he waited for the last two boys.

"oh, donghyuck." sungchan smiled.

"you're joining the forever single squad." shotaro added, punching donghyuck's shoulder jokingly.

"i'm joining the temporarily single squad." donghyuck corrected him. "i'm hoping we'll find ourselves boyfriends."

"i'm not worried for you and i." sungchan nodded, wigging his brows at donghyuck. "however, i'm not sure shotaro will ever find love with his annoyingly bratty personality."

"excuse me?!" shotaro huffed loudly, placing both hands on his hips. "i don't have an annoyingly bratty personality!"

"yes, you do." sungchan smirked.

"no, i don't!" shotaro scowled, making sungchan grin. he was having too much fun teasing him, and he knew exactly how shotaro reacted to those kinds of things.

"of course, you do." sungchan kept going. "i'm the only one who can bear with it."

"great, so i'm third-wheeling even when the guys aren't a couple..." donghyuck rolled his eyes, letting shotaro and sungchan walk away while they bickered.

the tanned male waited for a few seconds before walking towards the school's exit on his own, behind his seven other friends.

he smiled at he looked at them, all acting like they have been married for 20 years – even though sungchan and shotaro weren't together and denied any type of feelings for each other. damn, donghyuck loved his friends so much, and seeing them being happy made him the happiest person on this planet.

donghyuck sighed as he walked out of the school building, inhaling the refreshing air of the outside world. after more than a week of ups and downs, he finally felt good.

but it didn't seem like it would last long...

"lee donghyuck!"

"are the rumours true?"

"donghyuck!"

"what do you have to say about the rumours?"

"mister lee!"

the beautiful male was taken aback when a crowd of journalists with mics and cameras basically jumped on him as soon as he had walked out of school.

the tanned male glanced at his surroundings, seeing his friends as confused as him as they were pushed away by the overjoyed journalists. however, looking more closely at his surroundings, donghyuck noticed that a few of his classmates had their eyes diverting between him and their phones as their mouths were open in shock.

what the hell was happening.

despite his sudden urge to disappear, the journalists continued harassing him with questions.

"donghyuck, here!"

"please, donghyuck, are the rumours true?"

"lee donghyuck, are you and lucas from super m really a couple?!"