Adrian: *finally went back to school. He decided to participate in the school musical*

Abcde:
There! Right There!
Look at that tan, that tinted skin
Look at the killer shape he's in
Look at that slightly stubly chin
Oh Please he's gay, totally gay

Teacher:
I'm not about to celebrate
Every trait could indicate the totally straight expotriate.
This guy's not gay, I say not gay

All:
That is the elephant in the room
Well, is it relevant to assume
that a man who wears perfume
is automatically matically fay?

Student 2:
But look at his quoft and crispy locks

Look at his silk translucent socks

There's the eternal paradox
Look what we're seeing

Girl:
What are we seeing?

Is he gay?

Of course he's gay

Boy:
Or European?

All:
ohhhhhh
Gay or European?
It's hard to guarantee
Is he gay or european?

Teacher:
Well, hey don't look at me

Girl:
You see they bring their boys up different
in those charming foreign ports
They play peculiar sports

In shiny shirts and tiny shorts
Gay or foreign fella?
The answer could take weeks
They will say things like "ciao bella"
while they kiss you on both cheeks

Boy:
Oh please

Gay or European?
So many shades of gray

Depending on the time of day
The French go either way

Is he gay or European?
or-

Teacher:
There! Right There!
Look at that condescending smirk
Seen it on every guy at work
That is a metro-hetro jerk
That guy's not gay, I say no way

All:
That is the elephant in the room
Well is it relevant to presume
that a hottie in that costume

Is automatically, radically

Ironically, cronically

Scurtinly, curtainly

Genetically, netically

Gay!
Officially Gay!
Officially Gay, Gay, Gay, Gay!

Adrian:
*kisses the girls hand*

All:
Dammit

Gay or European?

So stylish and relaxed

Is he gay or European?

Boy;
I think his chest is waxed

Girl:
But they bring their boys up different there
It's culturally diverse
It's not a fashion curse

If he wears a kilt or bears a purse
Gay or just exotic?
I still can't crack the code

Yet his accent is hypnotic
but his shoes are pointy toed

Student 2:
Huh
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray

Girl:
But if he turns out straight
I'm free at 8 on saturday

All:
Is he gay or European?
Gay or european?
Gay or Euro-

Student 1:
Wait a minute!
Give me a chance to crack this guy
I have an idea I'd like to try

Student 2:
The floor is yours

Student 1:
So Mr. Adrian
This alleged affair with Abcde
has been going on for...?

Adrian:
2 years

Student1:
And your first name again is...?

Adrian:
Adrian

Student1:
And your boyfriend's name is...?

Adrian:
Haymitch

I'm sorry! I misunderstand
You say boyfriend
I thought you say best friend
Haymitch is my best friend

Haymitch:
You bastard!
You lying bastard!
That's it
I no cover for you, no more!

Peoples
I have a big announcement
This man is gay and European!
you've got to stop your being
a completely closet case

No matter what he say
I sware he never ever ever swing the other way
You are so gay
You big parfait!
You flaming boy in cabaret

Adrian:
I'm Ace!

Haymitch:
You were not yesterday

So if I may, I'm proud to say
He's gay!

(All)
And European!

Haymitch
He's gay!

(All)
And European!

Haymitch
He's gay!

(All)
And European and Gay!

Adrian:
Fine okay I'm gay!

(All)
Hooray!

Adrian And Haymitch:
Fine. Okay. We're gay!