| Never underestimate the pain of a person, because the truth is, everyone is struggling. It's just that some people hide it better than others | 

It felt like everything around Steve was crumbling down to the ground, every time he had happiness in the palm of his hand, it was taken away from him. He's left with all of these pieces left to pick up. 

It's been a few hours since Steve heard from anyone, they were all around him, but he felt miles away. He felt like everything was just too much, the pain in his heart was too much to handle. He hadn't seen Maria since her outburst, he couldn't even bring himself to see Natasha. Pay his due to his wife. How could he even look at her? He took her away from this world. 

"Steve," Steve barely recognizes Tony's voice. "I know you are...going through something," 

"Going through something?" Steve said bitterly. "I am not going through 'something' Tony! My wife is dead, the mother of my children. I thought she meant something to you too." 

"Of course she did," Tony sighed. "Nat was like my younger, annoying, pain in the ass, sister. But Steve, we still have a problem that comes in the form of a tiny little blonde." Steve didn't respond, he didn't know-how. How was he gonna handle Sarah? "Steve?" 

"Just... give me a moment," Steve muttered. 

"As much as I'd love to," Bucky said walking up to the pair. "We have a situation." 

"Because that's exactly what we need right now," Tony said bitterly. "What is it?" Sam is now walking up as well. 

"Bird brain over here lost Sarah," Everyone's head shot up. 

"Whoa, how is this my fault?" Sam question. Bucky made a face at the man. 

"You were supposed to be watching her!" 

"Oh, my bad for trying to contact my grieving wife!" Sam yelled back. Steve let out a big sigh and then stood up, he shoved down all his pain over his wife, it would most likely come back out sooner rather than later. 

"You all need to shut up. I am on my very last straw right now." He looked around. "Now we have to go find her before we deal with the rest of this world." They all nod, finally something they can all agree on. "Someone get in T'Challa, everyone who has any piece of tech, anyone who can help us find Sarah." 

|~|

"Nicole, I thought I asked you to leave," James muttered seeing her come back into his hospital room. He was being released, and he just needed to get out of here as fast as could. He needed to punch something, and if Nicole came here to stop him, he'd punch her too. James looked up surprised when a familiar younger face was looking at him. "Sarah..." 

"Hi James," She replied. Raising a soft hand. James could hear their parents talking, thanks to the super hearing. He wasn't shocked to see Sarah back alive, however, this doesn't mean that he could fully get over seeing her right in front of her. 

"What are you doing here?" James asked. He had almost a billion questions in his mind, it was confusing to understand and form sentences with all of the conflicting emotions he was going through. 

"I uh... I don't know what's going on," Her eyes got big, the same type of way that happened whenever she was sad, James could recall her mannerisms even now. 

"What do you mean?" He asked softly. He tried not to get emotionally attached, he knew better, he knew this was not his Sarah. Or was she? He was so conflicted, a part of him wanted it to be her, and a part of him wanted to know that Sarah was alive and hadn't died because of him. He wanted to know that he wasn't the monster to kill his own sister.  But the other part of him, the more reasonable side knew better. Knew better than to act on this sort of happiness, a sense of hope. 

"No one is listening to me," she said, her lip trembling lightly. "I don't belong here, James. I- this... this is not my universe, I know that. I remember things that never happened on this planet. I need to get back to my home. I have people who miss me." 

"So why are you here?" James asked. He can't comprehend why she came to him. 

"Because no matter what universe I am in, I believe that my big brother will be there for me." 

"I'm sorry, did you just say... 'no matter what universe you're in.'" James asked, feeling nervous as the weight of her words began to settle in, the talk of her knowing things, going back home, it was all finally hitting her. If he was not still on hospital meds, or his nervous system wasn't so in knots he would probably be freaking out, in actuality his head might have exploded already. 

"James, this is not my universe." She repeated. "I need your help to help me get back to my own universe, I need you to help me get home, please." 

|~|

"Maria, you should eat something," Clint said offering her a plate that Laura had made. Maria was sitting on their couch, lightly shaking her leg up and down. Hugh was upstairs asleep, while Nicole had her head on her mother's shoulder as her mother mourned her best friend. 

"Not hungry," Maria said. Nicole softly reached out for the plate. 

"She'll eat it," Nicole answered for her mother. 

"Well Maria, it seems like we finally have someone bossier than you," Clint tried to joke, but the humor wasn't in it. He too was mourning a friend, someone he considered a sister for the better half of three decades. "How are you feeling Maria?" 

"I am...I feel ...I don't know." Maria admitted. Clint had never heard the former deputy commander sound so sad, so broken. He had to admit, when he brought Natasha in all those years ago, he never could have seen Maria and Natasha becoming so close. In an odd way, Clint thinks that Maria was what Natasha needed then, Maria understood Natasha in the way she needed. In another world, he could have seen the two forming a very close bond. 

"She's such an asshole," Clint ended up saying after a moment of silence. "Leaving us here, she really had to be the first one gone didn't she?" 

"She definitely has a flair for the dramatics," Maria nodded, she picked up the plate of food that Nicole had been holding on to. She took a small bite. "I should probably apologize to Sam." 

"Maybe," Clint said. "He didn't know." 

"All the more reason for him to not have done anything," Maria said. "He should have come to me, Steve never should have been so stupid to drag other people into his stupid plans!" She said frustratingly, forgetting her food. "Why couldn't they have just left well enough alone?" 

"He was mourning," Clint answered. "People handle it very differently. You don't have to forgive Sam right now. Let it simmer," 

"Laura would slap you for giving me such advice," Maria said, taking back the plate after Nicole practically glared holes into the side of her brain. There was a knock on their front door and Nicole went to go answer it. looking around she saw her uncle move to sit beside her mother, at least she had a friend through this all. 

Nicole couldn't help but feel the weight of her aunt's passing start to dwell on her. Her aunt has been like a second mother to her for as long as she could remember. Her aunt was always on her side, and though lately, it seemed that Natasha had been more caring and open towards Morgan, she could always found on her aunt to pick her up from late-night meetings with Willa, or if she was craving something sweet she could count on meeting her aunt at their favorite diner. She would miss her aunt, but she understood that her mother would miss her far greater, and just as she had been there for her, Nicole was determined to be there for her mother. 

When Nicole opened her front door she did not expect them to be standing at her door. Her mouth had to have dropped. Before her were James and Sarah. She knew of Sarah's return but seeing and hearing it were two very different things. 
"Nicole," James said. Nicole could barely tear her gaze away from Sarah, her soft smile on her face. "We need your help." 

"I uh... I uh," Nicole couldn't find the words to express her emotions right now. 

"I know you are freaking out." Sarah finally spoke. "But I need your help" 

"My help? With what?" 

"She's not from our universe," James said bluntly. "And we need help to get her back to her own." 

"And um how exactly do you expect me to help?" 

"You know people, magic people," James said. "One of them is bound to be able to help us. You said you'd be here for me Nicole." 

"And here I was thinking that meant listening to you cry, or taking you to get food. Not helping- wait I am sorry, what do you mean to get her home? Get her to her universe? I am so confused right now! Why should I help you?" 

"Because, like I told James, I was hoping in this universe, that the girl I have come to love like a big sister, would help me even in this universe." 

|~|

Pain, that was all she could feel. She felt it in her head, ringing in her ears, her arms felt like a million pounds, and even her teeth ached. She felt nauseous, felt like she was going to throw up. But she was too tired to sit up and find a bathroom. What the hell was going on with her? 

"You're finally awake," A voice said. "I was really hoping you would wake up. Things here have been shit since your injury" 

"injury?" she managed to get out. 

"Natasha," The voice spoke. "Tell me what you remember?" 

"The hospital, Maria, Clint, I uh... James needs me," She tried to push herself up from the bed, but a hand kept her steady on the table. 

"Natasha, you have been unconscious for a few months." The voice was female, she was starting to piece it together. "Clint is gone, big girl, she passed away after the accident, nearly six years ago, remember?" Was Clint gone? What the hell is going on? Clint was fine. Clint was alive!

"No no no," She could barely keep her eyes open. Her mind was filled with so many thoughts that she couldn't process them all. It felt like she was going through a whole lifetime in just a few seconds. 

"Natasha, can you tell me my name?" 

"I -" She studied the man, why couldn't she place a name on her face. 

"My name is Melina, I am your mother, I am going to help you." Before Natasha could respond her eyes drew heavy again, the weight of the world finally crashing down on her and she fell into a dreadful dreamless sleep. 

|As you can see I am back and I have a few notes. One is please be patient with me, I am trying to find my love for this book again! Second, being, Sarah and Natasha did not switch places, but they both are in unfamiliar universes. And lastly, if you haven't seen Loki, or Doctor Strange, the remainder of the book may be confusing. Can't wait to continue on the journey, see you all soon!|