Chapter 23 ~ The Goodbye

[Louis]

After that day, the time just flew by. Harry kept giving me roses and flashing his specific smiles whenever we got eye-contact whether that was in the cafeteria, the hallways or the classroom. Sometimes, there would even be a note together with the rose, but I never really understood what they meant. It was just a sentence each time. So far I'd received;

'Same lips red, same eyes blue'

'Tastes so sweet, look so real'

And 'I can't touch what I see'.

Sure, it was most certainly about me, but I didn't get why he would give me them. However, it would be a lie to say I wasn't falling more and more for him each day that went by. My heart would even skip whenever I caught sight of him, and that hadn't happened since the first time he got back here.

The tweet he had posted that day was also very sweet of him. I had asked him if he could do something about it. Sure, I hadn't exactly asked him nicely, but even if he said there was nothing he could do, he'd actually tried getting the people to stop talking shit about me, just to please me. To say he was making it tough for me would be an understatement.

But, I still had the thought of him not deserving me after what he did in my head. Plus, I still wasn't sure I would ever be able to trust him again. So, therefore I still kept looking away from him and ignoring him the best I could.

As for Niall and Zayn, I felt that they were also keeping a closer eye on me in case I showed any signs of taking back the boy. I tried to ignore them the best I could because I thought their behavior was ridiculous. They were just too overprotective.

Other than that, things had been great with Hannah. We still hung out a lot, but our relationship stayed the same. To be honest, we had more of a friendship than relationship, but I didn't dare say anything to Hannah in case she would get hurt by it. It wasn't like I wanted it to be a friendship rather than a relationship anyway.

Today, it was Harry's last day of school before he was going back on tour. I didn't know why, but I just couldn't bring myself to smile that morning, not even when Lottie pulled a joke at the kitchen table. Hannah's presence couldn't even bring my mood up, which was unusual. She usually made a smile creep to my face.

She didn't question me about it though, which was also unusual. Usually, she would catch up on my behavior right away and question me about it, but not today. I was pretty happy about that though because the more time that went by, I was starting to understand why I was feeling so down.

It didn't help when I sat in the same classroom as the curly haired boy and he didn't seem fazed by any of it. In fact, he looked unusually happy, not sad. He was laughing together with Brittany who had warmed up to him a few weeks ago and didn't have to fan herself whenever he was near her.

It made me frustrated though. It was his last day here. Shouldn't he give me more attention than he did? I mean, he had tried getting my attention for almost a month now and today was the last day he would see me in probably a really good time.

Biting my bottom lip, I looked down at my notebook, feeling Mr. Waltz's eyes on me. I didn't look up at him though because I knew what he was thinking. I had talked to him about a week ago, telling him that Harry had shown no sign at all of the asshole he'd been in the beginning, which had made him grin.

He suggested I would give him another chance, which I hadn't stopped thinking about ever since, but I couldn't. I just couldn't.

When I got to my locker after the bell rang, I was expecting to see another rose there, but to my surprise, my lock was the only thing there. It made my heart sink. This could only mean one thing. Harry had finally given up on me.

It should make me happy considering it was what I had told him to do, but for some reason, it made me want to go hide in the toilets and cry my eyes out. That boy made me feel things I wished I never felt, but sadly, I couldn't do anything about it.

I dragged my feet forward to the cafeteria that day, Hannah walking quietly beside me. We got to the line and ordered our food before sitting down at the table where Niall, Zayn and Eleanor together with a few other people were already sitting.

Placing my tray on the table, I plopped down in the seat, looking down at the food with a skeptical look on my face. Niall immediately took notice and furrowed his eyebrows at me.

"Something's the matter, mate?" He asked, looking at me questioningly when I met gazes with him.

I shrugged. "I'm just not feeling it today, is all."

He narrowed his eyes, looking suspicious. "Does this have something to do with a certain pop star leaving?"

Instantly, I could feel the table shake and I watched as Hannah shot him a warning look. He looked at her apologetically as he murmured a 'sorry'. I didn't answer him, but unsurprisingly, Eleanor had snapped it up and was interested in the conversation, or more specifically the topic.

"Right, it's Harry's last day before he returns to his tour, isn't it?" She said, looking over at the table where the curly haired boy was sitting together with all those girls, still a smile on his face. It was like I didn't even exist anymore...

"Yes," Zayn muttered, not even looking at her. He said it with a tone that ended the subject, which I was happy about.

We talked about other things after that, but I mostly kept quiet, not really feeling like participating in any conversation. I found myself lost in my own thoughts instead, even if I barely knew what they were about. I really couldn't focus on anything.

After the lunch hour, Niall and I went to my locker. At first, he was quiet, but as we got there, he started talking. "Hey, Louis?"

I had just opened my locker and had to turn around to look at him. "Yeah?"

"You okay?"

I bit my lip, turning back to my locker as I let out a sigh. "Yes, of course."

He didn't say anything, so I turned back to see what was up with him. He had his gaze directed at something across the hallway. I followed his eyes to see that he was looking at Harry who was at his own locker, looking into it.

"He's making you feel something isn't he?"

My heart rate picked up at his words, but I kept a straight look on my face as I shrugged. "I don't know."

Niall rolled his eyes. "Louis, I'm not stupid. It's pretty obvious you're not talking today because it's his last day. I know what you feel for him, but it's okay," he reassured me.

I raised my eyebrows, looking into his blue eyes. "It's okay? Niall, ever since he came back you've told me that even thinking about him isn't okay. What are you even on about?"

He let out a sigh, running a hand through his quiff. "I'm just saying that I understand that it's hard for you. I mean, if it had been Zayn, I would've been devastated if he was just about to leave like that," he mumbled.

I let out a dry laugh. "Yeah, but Zayn's never hurt you, has he?"

The words made Niall shake his head.

"So, it is weird for me to be thinking this way. I should be nothing but happy that he's finally leaving, not the other way around."

He let out another sigh. "I know we've been pretty tough on you ever since he came back, but you'd be blind to see that there isn't some kind of connection between the two of you. Besides, he hasn't been acting like an ass in ages. He's making it difficult to stay mad at him."

I chuckled dryly. "You don't say?"

Niall pursed his lips, looking at his surroundings before taking a step closer to me. "What I'm trying to say is that I still don't think you should forgive him for what he did to you. I was there to witness what you had to go through because of him, but I understand if you're finding everything hard. Does that make sense?" He questioned, looking a bit confused himself.

I nodded my head slowly. "I guess. It's kind of what I'm thinking as well. Maybe everything will be easier once he's gone," I shrugged, shutting my locker.

"Yeah, let's hope so."

-

When the last bell of the day rang, I headed back to my locker to get my jacket and backpack. It had finally started becoming a little warmer outside, the sun making its way through the clouds every other day and radiating a little warmth at least. The snow was still there though but was slowly melting away.

Hannah wasn't outside when I got to the usual place where we always met up with each other, so I sat down on a bench nearby and fished my phone up from my pocket to look busy.

My thoughts about the curly haired boy hadn't gone away the entire day, and to be honest, I was a little sad that I didn't get a last look of him. The last time I had seen him was after lunch when I was talking to Niall, which was hours ago. Who knew when I would see him again?

Feeling my heart ache at the thought, I was suddenly pulled forward by a hand that grabbed my forearm. Instantly, realizing that it must be Hannah who had arrived, I slid my phone back in my jeans pocket. "Great, I didn't even have to wait for more than a min--"

I cut myself off when I looked up only to notice that it was not Hannah who had grabbed me but none other than the green-eyed boy I hadn't been able to stop thinking about the entire day. What was he doing?

He was still pulling me forward, and I was too shocked to even protest or say something. It wasn't until he had pulled me to the secluded area where we were last time when we talked that I finally got myself together.

"What are you doing?"

He didn't have his sunglasses on today, which was weird considering the sun was actually shining today. Nonetheless, I still preferred this because it meant I could see right into his beautiful, green eyes.

Harry ran a hand through his curls as he inhaled a deep breath. "I just wanted to talk to you before I leave."

I raised my eyebrows at him. "What would you possibly want to talk about? Haven't you already said enough? Harry, this isn't going to change anything. I've already made my mi--"

"I love you."

My eyes widened to the size of two golf balls. What did he just say? I must've heard wrong. There was no chance he just said what I thought he was.

"Y-you what?"

He let out another breath, biting his bottom lip. "I love you. I always have and I always will." He took a step forward to run his thumb across my cheek, his finger following my cheekbone.

I took a step back, my back hitting the surface of the concrete behind me. "No," I said flatly, shaking my head. "You don't. Y-you can't say that." My voice was a bit shaky, but I hoped he didn't notice it.

He let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair again. "I'm sorry for everything I have done to you, I really am. I just wanted you to know before I leave how much you mean to me."

Furrowing my eyebrows together, I shook my head. "You don't get to say that. You can't say that and then just leave. It makes no sense. Why would you do this?"

His eyes looked deep into my own, and I could see that he was hurt. I didn't really know if it was because of my words or because of something else, but I didn't care. "I just wanted you to know. It would've bugged me if you didn't know before I left," he mumbled.

He had taken a step towards me, so his thumb was tracing my cheek again, and it was really starting to get to me. Not only was my heart bothered by it, but also my skin that was burning under his touch.

I looked away from him. "Why didn't you just write it with one of the roses?" I muttered, my heart beating frantically against my ribs.

"Because I needed you to hear it from me directly. Besides, the notes with the roses have a different meaning. You'll see one day."

With that said, he took another step forward and leaned down to press a feathery light kiss on my forehead, making goosebumps form on the skin all over my body.

"Bye, Lou." He stepped back again, giving me a sad smile before turning around and heading towards the gates.

I didn't know what to do. All I did was stare at his disappearing silhouette with a gawking mouth. Was this his way of saying goodbye? How could he be so... so cruel? This wasn't fair, he couldn't just do this. But he did. He did it again. Only this time, he didn't know just how much it hurt me to see him leave.

Once he was out of sight, I could feel how my back slid down the wall until I was sitting on the cold ground, my hands over my face as I felt tears starting to roll down my cheeks.

If he only knew. If he only knew how much I loved him back.

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Yeah, there's a little bit of drama for you guys, I hope you liked it! I love writing these kinds of chapters. I get really into them! See you laterrrr <3

Pauline .xx