chapter thirty two,
got your heart in a headlock

    Nailea had really taken her time with getting back to Nicholas about the whole 'I still love you' situation. It was complicated, like really complicated.

The girl huffed as she sat on her couch scrolling through the channels on her tv, secretly trying to distract herself from reality.

She had replayed their conversation in her head countless times, trying to make sense of her feelings. Part of her was screaming "go for it" and the other was adamantly against it. The conflict was making her head spin.

As she continued to channel surf, not really paying any attention to what was on the screen, her thoughts kept going back to Nicholas. His sincere apology, the way he had looked at her, the confession of love. It was all too much.

Nailea stood up from the couch and walked over to the corner of her living room where her guitar lay. The familiar weight of the instrument in her hands was both comforting and nostalgic.

She began to strum the chords, the rhythm and the melody filling the room. Her fingers moved over the strings, almost automatically falling into place.

"Perfect, easy, so good to me / So why's there a pit in my gut in the shape of you? / Distract myself, say it's something else / Maybe I'm just overwhelmed, maybe I'm confused."

Her voice shook a little, but she breathed deeply.

"Barley sleep when you sleep next to me / But I keep thinking I'll find a cure / I say that I'm fine, I tell you all the time / I've never felt so happy and sure."

She continued to play her guitar.

"But I'm so scared of my guitar / 'Cause it cuts through to the heart / Yeah, it knows me too well so I got no excuse / I can't lie to it the same way that I lie to you / I'm so scared of my guitar / If I play it, then I'll think too hard / Once you let the thought in, then it's already done / So I'll lay in your arms and pretend that it's love."

As Nailea began to open her mouth to sing another verse, she was startled by the urgent sounded knocking on her door.

Her brows furrowed and her heart half dropped as she placed down her guitar and tiptoed to the front door. Unfortunately she didn't have a peephole on her door, so she risked it all when she swung the door open.

An ever so familiar stood in front of her, the only person she would have never expected to be standing at her apartment.

"Hi." He spoke, running a hand through his slightly wet hair.

"Nick." she let out a sigh with her words. Nicholas Alexander Chavez was right in front of her. "What are you doing here?" She looked at him.

Nicholas looked at her, a mixture of guilt and hope in his eyes. He couldn't help but take in the sight of her, her messy bun, her oversized hoodie and her tired eyes. She was as beautiful as always, and his heart ached at the thought of what he had done.

"Can I come in?" he asked quietly, his eyes pleading.

"Y-yeah, sure." she stuttered, still trying to comprehend why he was here.

Nicholas stepped inside, his eyes flickering around the room. Everything about her apartment was so comforting and familiar, and yet it also felt foreign and forbidden.

As he looked at her, he noticed her disheveled appearance, the slight tremble in her voice. He knew this visit was sudden, and that she wasn't prepared for it.

He could see the surprise in her eyes, and he couldn't blame her. He knew showing up unannounced like this was reckless, but he had to see her.

As he stood there in front of her, he was suddenly hit with the reality of the situation. He had hurt her deeply, and now he was trespassing into her life, unannounced and uninvited. The guilt was overpowering, and he had to look away momentarily.

Nailea noticed the guilt in his expression, and a part of her softened. Despite everything that had happened, she couldn't help but feel a wave of empathy for him. But she quickly pushed it aside, reminding herself of the pain and betrayal she had felt.

Nicholas stood there silently, taking in the environment. His eyes kept going back to her, seeing the mixture of surprise and wariness in her expression. Guilt and shame washed over him as he remembered what he had done. He struggled for a moment to find the right words to say, but finally spoke up.

"Can we talk?"

Nailea took a deep breath, still trying to process his presence. She hesitated for a moment, her mind warring between the desire to hear him out and the urge to kick him out. But ultimately, curiosity got the better of her.

"Yeah, alright," she mumbled, crossing her arms.

He knew she was wary of him, and he couldn't blame her. He fidgeted with his hands for a moment, unsure of where to start.

"I'm sorry for just showing up like this," he finally said, his voice low.

Nailea didn't respond, but her expression soften momentarily, the walls she had built up cracking just a bit. She looked at him, silently waiting for him to continue.

Nicholas saw the slight change in her expression and took it as a cue to continue. He took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts.

"I know I hurt you," he began. "I can't begin to tell you how much I regret it."

Nailea was silent, listening to him intently. Her expression remained guarded, but she didn't interrupt him. She knew that she needed to hear what he had to say, even if she didn't want to.

Nicholas could see the emotions flickering across her face. The hurt, the anger, the vulnerability – it was all there, laid bare. He wanted to reach out to her, to pull her into his arms and plead for forgiveness, but he knew he had to tread carefully.

"I know my apologies aren't enough," he continued, his voice rough. "But I need you to know I'm sorry. I was a fool, Nai. I threw away something precious, something irreplaceable, and I regret it more than you can imagine."

Her heart ached at his words. The way he said her name, the raw regret in his voice. It was like a dagger to her heart. She wanted to believe him, to trust his pain and sincerity, but her heart was still guarded and wary.

Nicholas looked at her, trying to gauge her reaction. He could see the conflict in her eyes, the struggle between anger and vulnerability. He wished he could take away her pain, to erase the past months and start fresh.

Nailea remained silent for a long moment, her thoughts racing. The pain and hurt of the past few months was all too raw, but the sincere remorse in his eyes was hard to overlook.

Finally, she spoke, her voice low. "Why are you here, Nick? Why now?"

Nicholas took a deep breath, his heart swelling with both hope and trepidation. He had been waiting for her to say something, anything, and her question offered an opportunity.

"I'm here because I want another chance," he said firmly. "I know I don't deserve it, but I want it more than anything in the world."

Nailea's heart ached at his words. She had spent countless nights wishing he would come back, but now that he was here, she didn't know how to feel.

"Why should I give you another chance?" she asked, her voice steady but her eyes betraying her emotion.

"Because I'm still in love with you, Nai," he replied without hesitation. "I know that probably doesn't mean much to you right now, but it's the truth. I never stopped loving you, and I don't think I ever will."

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