chapter twenty nine,
led by blind faith

    Nailea walked along the busy new york street on the crowded sidewalk. Nicholas had messaged her asking to meet up which was weird since they had recently had their big fight.

As she walked she occasionally looked up around for his face in the crowds.

Nailea continued to navigate the crowded street, scanning the faces around her for any sign of Nicholas. With each minute that passed, she grew more anxious and curious about the reason for this sudden meeting.

The New York city life seemed to buzz around her, but her focus was entirely on the search for her ex.

Finally, as she rounded a corner, she spotted a familiar silhouette leaning against a building. Her heart skipped a beat as she recognized his presence.

She took a deep breath and slowly approached him, trying to appear calm and collected. As she got closer, she noted that his expression was unreadable, giving away none of his intentions for this unexpected encounter.

When she was a few feet away, she forced herself to speak.

"Hey," she said simply, her voice betraying slight unease.

Nicholas looked up as he heard her voice, his eyes meeting hers. For a brief moment, he seemed to struggle with what to say, fidgeting slightly.

"Hey," he replied quietly. "Thanks for coming."

Nailea nodded, unsure of what else to say. The tension between them was palpable, a stark contrast to the lively city surrounding them. There was an awkward silence and she waited for him to speak again.

Finally, after a moment of heavy silence, Nicholas seemed to find his words. He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair.

"Can we sit down?" he asked, gesturing towards a nearby bench.

Nailea nodded again, following him to the bench and taking a seat next to him. She turned to face him, ready to listen to whatever it was he had to say.

Another moment of silence followed as Nicholas appeared to be gathering his thoughts. He avoided her gaze, his eyes fixed on the ground. After what seemed like an eternity, he looked up at her.

"I, um... I wanted to talk to you about something," he began, his voice low.

Nailea swallowed the lump in her throat, bracing herself for whatever was coming next. "Okay," she replied softly, encouraging him to continue.

Nicholas let out a sigh, his expression one of guilt and regret. "I wanted to apologize," he said bluntly. "For... everything. The fight, the things I said... I was acting like a jerk and I know it."

Nailea was taken aback. She wasn't expecting him to apologize so quickly, especially not after the things he had said during their argument. But the sincerity in his eyes made her believe that he was genuinely regretful.

She exhaled slowly, not knowing how to respond at first. "I... appreciate the apology," she finally said. "But it's not just about the fight, Nicholas. It's about everything... us."

Nicholas nodded, visibly deflating at her words. He knew that their issues ran much deeper than one argument.

"I know," he muttered. "I've been thinking a lot... about us. About how messed up it all is."

"Yeah," Nailea agreed quietly. She had been doing a lot of thinking herself since their breakup. She looked at him, her heart stirring with mixed emotions. "So... where do we go from here?"

Nicholas looked up at her, his eyes filled with a mix of vulnerability and determination.

"I... I still care about you, Nai," he said softly. "I never stopped loving you."

Nailea's heart began to pound faster at his confession. She looked at him, searching his eyes for any sign of insincerity. But she found none.

The thought of him still loving her, despite everything, stirred up within her. A part of her wanted to forget everything that had happened and just jump back into his arms. But another part warned her of the danger, the pain, of the inevitable heartbreak. She was torn, unable to decide what to do.

As she sat there in silence, looking at him, she could see the raw emotion in his eyes, the love and remorse that he felt towards her. It made her heart ache. She couldn't deny that she still loved him too, but the trust had been broken and it would take more than an apology to gain that back.

Nailea took a shuddering breath, trying to calm her racing thoughts. This was not how she had imagined tonight playing out. She had thought she was over him, that she had moved on.

"Nai?" He spoke up, breaking the silence.

The girl was still stuck in her thought and her mouth a half opening – desperate to say something. She blurted out, "Aren't you with that co-star?" she furrowed her brows.

Nicholas looked taken aback by her question, clearly not expecting it. He seemed to struggle for a moment, trying to find the right words to say.

"No," he said finally, shaking his head. "That was just press. We were never together, I promise."

Nailea's brows were still furrowed, skepticism clear on her face. "It looked real to me," she muttered, her mind replaying the images of him with his costar, holding hands and smiling.

Nicholas sighed, looking down at his hands. He knew her suspicions were valid, given what the press and public had seen.

"I know it did," he admitted. "But I swear, I was never with her. It was all for publicity."

Nailea's mind was racing, trying to process this new information. She wanted to believe him, but she couldn't ignore the doubt nagging at the back of her mind.

"Why should I believe you?" she asked bluntly, her tone still wary.

Nicholas looked up at her, the hurt evident in his eyes. "You have every right not to believe me," he said quietly. "But I'm telling the truth, Nai. I would never lie to you."

The genuine pain and honesty in his eyes tugged at the girl's heartstrings. She wanted to believe him, but the hurt and distrust that had built up over their breakup made her hesitate.

"How do I know you're not just saying this to get me back?" she asked bluntly.

His words hit Nailea like a punch to the stomach. It was exactly what she wanted to hear, yet she still had to be cautious. She couldn't just ignore all the pain he had caused her.

"You broke my heart, Nicholas. You left me when I needed you the most. How do I know you won't just do it again?" her voice cracking slightly.

Nicholas' face fell at her words, the guilt and regret obvious in his expression. He reached out, as if to take her hand, but stopped himself, knowing it might be too soon.

"I still love you, I promise." Nicholas sympathetically nodded.

Nailea looked into his eyes, searching for any sign of dishonesty. But all she saw was love and remorse. Her heart ached, torn between the part of her still in love with him and the part that was afraid to trust him again. She wanted to believe him, to forgive and forget. But the memories of the pain and heartache were still fresh in her mind. She loved him, but she was afraid of being hurt again.

"I... I still love you too," she admitted quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. "But I'm scared, Nicholas. I'm scared it'll just end up like last time."

Nicholas looked back at her, his eyes filled with both hope and understanding. "I know I screwed up," he said, his voice soft. "I don't expect you to jump back into my arms right now. But I meant what I said. I never stopped loving you, Nai. I still don't. And I promise, I will spend every day trying to make it up to you if you let me."

Nailea felt a war of emotions at his words. She wanted to believe him, to trust that he meant it. But the doubt was still there, the fear of being hurt again. She looked at him, seeing the pleading look in his eyes, and her heart broke a little.

The thought of giving him another chance, of reliving the love they once shared, both thrilled her and terrified her. She took a deep breath, her mind and heart at odds with each other.

Nailea was silent for a moment, the weight of their past and present hanging heavily in the air. When she spoke again, her voice was steadier, but the doubt was still present.

"I need time, Nicholas," she said, looking into his eyes. "I can't just forgive and forget. You hurt me deeply. I just... I need time to think, to figure out what I want. Can you give me that?"

Nicholas looked hurt at her words, but he understood. He knew that he couldn't expect her to give him another chance immediately.

"Of course," he replied, his voice quiet. "I understand. Take all the time you need. I'll always be waiting for you."

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