The week passes in a blur and Roman isn't sure if she could stay feeling cooped up like this any longer.

She wasn't stuck in the house, per se, but she always did have someone following her around watching her like some cross between babysitter and bodyguard. It was slowly driving her mad that she couldn't seem to have a moment alone.

All she wanted was to go back to Forks, to see Edward and Bella, but apparently that was too risky because they would cut her off and redirect her each time she made a pass at it.

Which was utterly ridiculous. Roman could understand the whole mortal enemy thing, she could, but that didn't mean she had to be treated like some fragile things that was going to disintegrate the moment she left there sight. She was allowed to leave. They had no right to keep her here, but really, she was stranded until she found a lift out of LaPush. She didn't have the truck, didn't know if she even wanted to use the truck knowing that it had only been with Marnie's permission that she could use it all the time.

She couldn't stay hiding here forever and she really didn't want to. She wanted to stay with Bella and Edward, wanted to be able to see them whenever she wanted. Only Seth seemed to understand that and still he was nervous whenever she got out of sight.

Eyeing Embry as he sat on Sam's couch watching some stupid sitcom he clearly wasn't paying attention to, she wondered what his excuse was this time. All the boys seemed to have different creative reasons that kept them with her when it was there turn. He would find a way to split away when Emily got back from grocery shopping making it literally impossible for her jailbreak.

Embry was turning out to be the nicest, most sentimental of the boys, it seemed, and she really didn't like the thought of manipulating him into letting her leave, but it had to be done. Phone calls just weren't going to cut it anymore.

Still, maybe she should take it slow. She was going to be allowed back at school next week anyway.

"I want to go for a walk."

"Huh?"

"A walk. I want to go on one."

"Why are you telling me?"

She tilts her head, easing herself down next to him. "You're supposed to be watching me, right? So are you going to come with me or can I go alone?"

"I'm not sure if that's a good idea."

"So you aren't going to come with me? Cool."

Roman stands, grabbing her sweater to tie around her waist. The younger boy was close behind her, a step away.

"You can't go. I'm supposed to be watching you."

She stops, pouting. "So you are watching me? Why? Can't I be trusted to look after myself?"

"Of course you can! That's not why—"

"Then what? Am I going to be kept prisoner here? Because if that's the case I'll leave and won't come back again."

Embry shakes his head quickly, glancing around as if someone was going to show up to rescue him. "No, no, you aren't here as a prisoner. Sam's just worried about what Seth will be like when you leave again."

"Stop using Seth as an excuse," she hissed. "Why do you need to follow me everywhere?"

He doesn't answer her, looking away from her searching gaze.

Roman scowls. "Sam said you couldn't tell me, right? Fine. You can tell him that I'm spending the night at Bella's with Edward. Now, I'm going for a walk before going back to Sue's."

She stomps off down the pressed earth road that led to the small courage house. The hair at the back of her neck rose.

"And don't follow me!"

It had been a bad week. Not that she would admit it out loud because the amount of time she had spent with Seth had been great, but it had been terrible. She was going through withdrawal, spoilt as she was, she felt that she needed to see them again before she could go crazy.

Roman had grown accustomed to the same routine, to the way she had greedily been allowed to see them everyday, and now she couldn't help the empty sense of yearning that it left her with.

She loved being with Seth, she really did, he was one of her favourite people in the world, but the love she felt for him just wasn't the same. It couldn't compare, not really, because he was always going to be her soul brother, a love that lasted forever, but they were her soulmates — her destiny and her future.

Being away for so long felt like torture.

The walk back had been hearty, brisk, and she came up to the Clearwater house much more relaxed and soothed than when she had left this morning.

She wasn't sure where everyone was on the Saturday morning (lunch?), but she knew the house was empty as she came up to the locked door, digging around her sweater pocket for the key they had given her.

"Roman! Roman!"

Spinning at the beautiful voice that never failed to make her heart sing, she dropped her sweater completely, abandoning her attempts as she darted down the few steps, sprinting across the wet grass as Bella met her halfway. They collided with a shock and crash that rattled through her ribs, shaking her core as she stumbles and sways before they both lose balance and drop to their knees -- legs tangling together impossibly as they held tight, trying to memorize the way they still fit together like perfect pieces locking into place.

"What are you doing here?" she gasps, brushing her hands over the girl's face, tracing her cheeks. "How did you escape?"

"I snuck away! Edward went hunting and I didn't have to work."

"What about Alice?"

"It was a snap decision! She wouldn't have known until I was already on the move," Bella states proudly, content with her own actions.

"Well this is great because I've been looking for a lift to Forks, but everyone has been set on keeping me here."

"You can come back with me and stay the night," Bella says, happy. "I missed you."

Roman grins, touching their foreheads. "I missed you too."

Her eyes flicker lower, catching on her lower jaw, and she ducks her chin to hide the discolouring. It was an ugly mixture between purple and green, gross, with the finger marks still slightly visible.

"I didn't want to believe it happened at first," she admits.

"Me neither, I think, but I've pretty much got my head wrapped around it now."

"They'll find them. Alice has an eye out for them in case they come back and Jake promised there was no way he was getting through again."

"I know. I'm not worried about it happening again, anyway. They'll all very protective here that I know that between the pack and the Cullen's nothing terrible is likely to ever happen again."

"I love you," Bella breathes.

"I love you, too."

Lips press to her own, seeking and eager, and Roman can taste the longing and fear with each movement. It's something she can understand, could reciprocate, as they slowly meld together, refusing to be the first to pull back for air. She could spend forever kissing Bella.

A tongue presses to her lip, always so quick to bring things deeper, to push for more, and Roman complies, locking a hand in thick, wavy brown hair. Pleasure, hot and burning, flares through her core, shooting up to tangle in her ribs -- spearing her lungs forcing her to pull away gasping for air. The taste of Bella still thick on her tongue.

"Maybe we shouldn't be making out on Sue's lawn," she pants, eyes still closed. "It's indecent. What will the neighbours think?"

"Who cares about the neighbours?"

She giggles. "Sue might And what if Seth comes home? Or Leah?"

"You embarrassed or something?" Bella teases.

"Of you? Never."

She's knocked back, Bella pressing her into the grass as she kisses her firmly, passionately, and it was like making up for lost time, for the week that had been apart, because Roman can't bring herself to pull away again, not until she's nudged in the side with a soft kick that makes her grunt, blinking as she untangles herself.

Bella slides back, shifting to the grass, legs still locked around her. She sits up and they're still just as tantalizingly close.

"Are you two serious right now?" Leah snaps, nudging Roman again just because she can.

"Sorry," she says with a breathless smile. "Got a little carried away."

"I can see that," the shifter start to walk up toward the house and she notices for the first time that she was barefoot. Patrol then, or maybe just a run. "Are you planning on coming in?"

Glancing to Bella, she sees the girl shake her head softly. "I want to visit Jake."

"You can go and pick me up when you're leaving," she says, crinkling her nose. "Don't want to be around for all the complaining he'll inevitably do."

"Oh, wow, thanks."

Roman stands, staggering as she stretches. "Have fun! I'll see you later."

"Yes, I'll pick you up," Bella agrees, hesitating. "I miss you."

Smiling, she brushes her hair back from her face, kissing her cheek. "I miss you, too."

She goes back to her truck with her hands shoved in her pocket. Roman watches her leave, heart in her mouth, threatening to spill out in poetic verses of love and longing. She can only watch the truck drive away before the spell finally breaks, shattering around her like broken glass, and she spins around, still light and happy as she bounces back up to the house, passing a reasonably disgusted Leah.

It had been one of the reasons she had stopped coming around, after all, it was only fair that the lovey-dovey crap made her wrinkle her nose in disgust. Her friend didn't much enjoy the idea of love anymore, not when her broken heart was always being rubbed in her face.

"Do you have to act like that?"

Roman hums. "We're happy."

"Not everyone needs to see it."

"You're right. I should have taken her inside instead."

Leah groans. "That's not what I meant."

She looks over her shoulder to her friend with a frown, a furrow in her brow. "You shouldn't let it bother you. I know that's easy to say, but it's true. The great love that you deserve is going to come when the time is right."

"What do you know," she snarls, stomping by her to the stairs.

"I know that what Sam and Emily did wasn't right. I know the imprint means a lot but it doesn't have to be romance and love but that's how it came to be anyways," she responded, pressing on despite the way her friend's expression shifted to one of betrayal and hurt. "And they fell in love and you have to see it all the time, rubbed in your face like they can't help themselves, but Leah, you have to get over it. Not for them, but for you.

"You're allowed to be angry and hurt, I'm not saying that you're not. I wouldn't be able to look them in the eye if I was you, but you're so strong and brave, Leah. I know you can learn to let yourself be happy again," Roman continues, moving to the kitchen. "Your great love is coming for you, but until then, you can be angry with me all you like. I'll be happy for the both of us until then."

"I can't stand seeing them together."

"I didn't like it at first either. You were both so in love that it made me sick, you know. I was so jealous and then Emily got hurt and you guys suddenly weren't together anymore and..." she shakes her head, swallowing thickly, "what I'm trying to say is that I understand Sam and what he did. I don't forgive him for hurting you and the things that he's done, but I know that desperate feeling of love when it takes you. Sometimes it doesn't give you a choice."

"You could have chosen to leave the leech lover be with her bloodsucker."

"Don't you dare! Say what you will about me but don't you say a word about them!'

"Who do you think you are to lecture me?" Leah shouts.

Roman squares her shoulders. "I'm just trying to be a good friend." 

"Well, you aren't! Where were you when I needed a friend?"

The house grows quiet, space between them heavy with unsaid words hanging ready to be used as a weapon. It was easy to fight saying thing that you don't mean, easy to throw insult and accusations to defend yourself and the fragile skin that you lived in, but a Roman has never been one to enjoy conflict. She hated when people were angry with her, hated saying things she didn't mean or didn't want to mean, because how terrible would that make her? How would her mind let her rest knowing she had spoken cruel words to make herself the winner of a fight she didn't want to have.

There was no glory in accepting your flaws and mistakes, no beauty in admitting that you were a bad friend when you were needed most — no pride to be had. Roman has always had very little pride to begin with.

"I know. I'm not going to make excuses for myself when I know I should have been there, but I'm a coward and choosing between two people care about left like a death sentence. Leah, I should have been there," Roman stresses, voice hoarse with unshed tears that she struggled to hold back. Crying now would make things about her. "There is no way for me to fix my mistakes realized in hindsight, but I want to fix things between us now. You will never not be important to me and if I can help you feel important to yourself again, even if you hate me forever, that'll be fine."

"I don't hate--"

"No, think about it first," she interrupts, putting a hand up.

She goes up the stairs, slamming the door to her room as she locks herself in, and she sighs, turning back to the kitchen so she could make herself a late lunch -- comfortable in the house to move around as she was invited to. Making simple deli sandwiches, she made extra, placing them in separate plastic containers so she would know that Seth and Leah would have something ready to eat when they felt like it.

The older girl hated going to Emily's for food, even knowing that was where the rest of the pack wen and that she was always ready to supply. Taking food from someone that had betrayed her so deeply, it was belittling, insulting. Roman knew how much a werewolf truly ate.

She's left alone in the house until Bella pulls up, honking her horn until she comes skipping out laughing and shaking her head at the silly girl that was grinning from behind the wheel. She slings her bags into the truck bed, hopping in with a beaming smile as she presses a kiss on her.

"Good day?" Roman asks.

"Pretty good. It's about to get worse though."

"What? Why?"

Bella grimaced. "He's going to be mad."

She pauses, blinking as she pulls away from the house. "Oh, oh, you're right. He's gonna so mad, but hey, maybe I can throw him off?"

"Maybe just throw yourself at him while I run?"

"I doubt he'll fall for distraction tactics."

Bella sighs. "Hopefully he's still with Emmett."

Roman laughs. "There is no way Alice didn't snitch on you. Edward is back for sure."

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I wanted to finish this hours ago and start working on the next one but oh well. Hope you enjoy anyway!!

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2019-11-17