Her legs are weak, wobbling, as Roman staggers out of the forest near Sam and Emily's, the breath permanently knocked from her lungs.

She feels high, dizzy with adrenaline that has a giggly laugh threatening to burst free from the rush of it all. There was never going to be anything comparable until she too turned and could run faster than anything else. She could really see why Seth loved it so much. Roman couldn't blame him for the sense of utter freedom and adventure that it gave. 

Wobbling again, she huffs a laugh as he wraps an arm around her to keep her from falling over herself.

"Seth."

They stop at the hard edge of Sam's voice, freezing like children caught in the middle of doing something naughty. It certainly felt that way with how he looked at them like a disappointed father.

"Yes?"

"Do you have any clue how dangerous that was?" the man asks rhetorically, harsh. Seth sunk against her, properly scolded. "I don't want to see you do something like that ever again."

"No way!" Roman protests loudly. "That was one of the best things ever!"

"Roman--"

"No! There is no way you are going to stop him and if I get hurt, then it's my fault. I'm the one that messed up."

"He can't go running around giving people rides."

"Not people. Me."

"It's not safe."

Roman shrieks. "I'm so sick of everyone trying to tell me what is and isn't safe. I can take care of myself just fine, thanks, and if that means 'risking my life' then so be it."

Sam glares down at her all alpha stubbornness and pride before he sighs, knowing very well he wasn't about to win this argument no matter what he tried to say.

There was a perk to being old friends that made things a million times easier to deal with, something that could either save you from a needless argument or make it unimaginable worse. She had no doubt that his giving in so easily on the matter would mean she would feel guilty later until she repaid him somehow.

Not that it would be repaying him, exactly, rather it would be making things right. Roman hated thinking that she owned anyone anything even if she knew that she didn't.

Which was all to say she was being ridiculous because that was what she did best, apparently.

Roman sighed, she didn't want to go in all that much, but if him bringing her here meant anything, and if there was one thing that she knew about the werewolves, then it meant to Seth was starving.

Settling herself to seeing them all, at least for a little while, they head inside, greeting everyone as they enter. It was only Paul and Embry that were there, other than those that actually live there, of course, and Roman had to stop herself from asking where they were.

Jared has an imprint named Kim, she had learnt early on, Seth having complained and whines about how gross the boy was until it had become too much even for her and she had begged him to stop. Jacob was with Bella, she already knew. Leah was doing her own thing. Quil was off doing something somewhere else — and she wouldn't admit to anyone how thankful she was for that, one hyper boy was enough for her thanks, she didn't need his cheeky comments to go along with it.

And this was just fine anyway, much more intimate and friendly. There was more food, easier conversation, and no one pressed or bothered her about her relationship under Sam's watchful eye and Emily's wooden spoon. It was great.

No one mentioned her grand escape from the other day either. Which was also great.

"Are you taking over the station after graduation?" Emily asks, placing a tray of hot brownies down to cool.

"Um, that's still up for consideration actually. I-I'm thinking that I might move... with Bella and Edward" she mutters nervously, very aware of the shift in the atmosphere. "We haven't really discussed anything yet but I get the general idea they want to go to Alaska."

"But you hated Alaska," Seth mumbles. She can feel his gaze burning holes on the side of her face. "You said you did."

"I'm not just going to stay here when they leave."

"You could. They'll come back for you."

She sighs, looking to the boy. "But I don't want to be without them."

There's movement around the table, Emily motioning for the other boys to keep their moves shut with a glare and wave of her spoon.

Seth doesn't answer her right away as he silently eats what he's been given.

Such an innocent question has turned into such a mess that was just going to upset everyone and cause a fight that she really didn't want to have.

"You'll come and visit me then, right? And I can come to visit you?" He asks innocently.

Roman bites her lip. She casts a look around the room and the prying eyes before she stands, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Let's take a walk."

It's raining outside, but it does little to deter her as she leads him back into the woods, walking deeper and deep until they're surrounded by the smell of wet earth that feels so much like home.

Seth is warm at her side, keeping the shivers away as she's slowly soaked through. He's silent, too, patiently waiting for her to say what was bugging her enough to want privacy knowing full well that the others would just find out anyway.

"Bella plans to become a vampire, but you should know as much already, right? Jacob has been trying to change her mind about it, I think," Roman starts gently. "She plans to have Carlisle turn her, I think, or maybe she's trying to work something out with Edward so that he's the one, but it's going to happen in the end.

"I haven't asked them in so many words how I fit in yet, but Bella seems to be on board with me turning too. I want to ask Edward before anything else because if he doesn't want me for part of forever then that's the end of the whole thing."

"He will. He'll be stupid to not want you," Seth tells her, voice incredibly small.

"Yes, well I'll have to ask him," she says, stopping to face him. It still astounds her that he was so tall now, so mature in looks. "But I will, turn that is, if he does. I will become a vampire."

Roman bites her lip, swallowing thickly. He looked so sad, quiet.

"It'll break the treaty," he mutters.

"That's what I've heard. It's what I've been worried about."

"You won't be able to come back," he says, voice quivering.

"I know. I know. You can always come to visit me, though, if you still want to," she whispers. "I won't blame you if you don't want to see me ever again after everything."

"I don't care what you are. You'll always be Roman no matter what," he swears, pulling her so she was pressed to his chest. "Of course, I'm going to visit you. You won't be able to get rid of me that easily."

She laughs. "We don't even know what's happening for sure yet!"

He holds her tighter. "I can see how much they love you, Ro. It's like when the three of you are together you become this sort of..." he sighs. "You're going to end up going with them."

Her eyes water. "Oh, Seth."

Roman leans into him. She would miss this, the willing readiness to be at her side. Things would change after she turned. He might not want to be near her despite his words and reassurances in the end. His optimism and kind nature made him too ready to try and make her happy, not taking into account what he would and wouldn't be able to accomplish in the end.

Being near a vampire wouldn't be easy for him. Seeing her as one of his mortal enemies wouldn't be easy for him. Seth could claim all he wanted that he would stick with her till the end of time, but how was that true when he was raised to despise everything she was willing to become.

She understood better now the things that Rosalie claimed she was going to have to give up better, the things she was always going to miss... Seth was going to have to be one of them. Her heart already ached at the thought of it. Roman missed him from the bottom of her heart.

But, god, she loved this boy so much. He deserved someone so much better than her.

"When--" he clears his throat-- "how long until... it happens?"

"Uh, Bella wants it to be after graduation which is why Alaska, but I- I don't know for sure or how soon."

"Graduation?" he croaks. "That's so soon!"

"I know! I know, I'm sorry. I should have given you an option or... it's too soon, isn't it? I'm acting crazy, right?"

"No, you aren't. You're following your heart, as cheesy and gross as it is. If you didn't go I would think something was wrong with you."

"You're not mad?"

He shook his head. "You let your heart lead your life, Roman. I would be mad if you stayed just for me."

She pulls away, gaping at him. "It wouldn't be just for you."

"You don't have anything else holding you here," Seth says softly, not wanting to open an already tender wound. "You care for your friends, but I'm the one you care about most."

"You're cocky," she sniffles, not bothering to deny it. "How do you know I don't stay for Sue?"

"Because you're my imprint," Seth boasts, swinging her around. "If you're not staying for me, then I would be pretty disappointed."

"Cheeky."

The rain patters around them, tapping against her cheeks on her upturned face, sliding paths down her neck.

"You aren't taking this how I thought you would," she comments, not turning away from the rain.

"You're doing what makes you happy and that's all I can really hope for in the end. I've always known you were in love with them from the moment that you knew yourself," he says quietly. "I guess I've always known that this was going to happen. It was always right there in front of me."

Roman hums. "You seem to know me better than I know myself."

"It's what I do best," he crows, squishing her to his chest.

Laughing, she pushes away before she drags him along, continuing on their calming walk. The phone stuck to her skin, heavy in her pocket. It was getting late much faster than she had thought it would and she hadn't yet heard from Rosalie, Alice or Bella so she figured it wouldn't be the end of the world if she stayed a little while longer.

They walked around for what felt like forever, enjoying each other's easy company until he had no choice but to bring her back.

She had stopped to change into dry clothes but it didn't stop her from being soaked by the time she walked out of the forest by the Cullen home -- Seth having left with a long, piercing howl into the night the moment they were within sight of the house.

It must have been strange for him to be so close to what the rest of the pack would call a den. It must have made him incredibly uncomfortable.

He was such a sweetheart. No one was ever going to be deserving of him.

Roman shivered without his heat, feeling sufficiently windblown and bedraggled as she climbed up the steps. The lights were on. The house an illuminated glow in the night.

She lets herself in, the heat indoor a near instant relief. All she really wanted was to get out of these wet clothes.

"It's late."

"I told Rose I would call if I decided to stay."

He sighs as he takes her by the hand. "You were gone a long time."

"Sorry to worry you."

Edward tips her chin up delicately, bringing his lips down close to her face. "You rode a werewolf all the way here," he mutters, cool breath brushing over her.

She can hear faint guffawing from another room.

"It was fun," she defends weakly.

"You're just as reckless as Bella. She took a motorcycle."

"Teenage impulsiveness?" Roman breathes, leading up into him.

Edward's noise crumbles slightly. "I think you should take a quick human moment. Your skin is nearly as cold as mine."

The absence of him near her makes anger prickly through her mind and she screams it in her mind, letting her frustration out for him to see. He laughs as he pulls her up the stairs, leading her to the bathroom with the promise of clothes.

She knows that there is no way he'll be the one to bring them to her but a girl could hope.

Her thoughts were loud as she showered, wanting to torture him as much as he did her. It was a fair trade, she believed.

The human moment was over and done with as quickly as she could manage. She was warm, the water scalding, and she sent a mental thank you to whoever had brought her a thin nighttime slip for her to sleep in.

There was no doubt in her mind that she was likely going to get sick, but it was a rush she was willing to take.

The simple, blush pink satin thing was short and revealing, but incredibly comfortable all the same. It came with matching undies that fit just right.

With her hair braided and wet things taken from her hand by a grinning Alice, Roman padded her way back to his room. It was lit by the faint moonlight that managed to peek through the rain clouds. She could see him perfectly in the middle of the bed beside the small lump that was Bella.

Get heart thumped at the picture of them.

She crawled in on the free side, laying her head in his lap.

His finger found their way to the few bits of loose hair.

"You didn't have to come back early."

"I was going to regardless."

Roman's smile is small, disbelieving. "Poor Alice. She had plans set for the whole weekend. How terrible to disappoint her."

"Your concern for her feelings is remarkably heartwarming," he jests.

"Yes, well, I must care. I do love that new car of hers."

He sighs. "She's allowed to keep it. You are both far more resourceful than I gave you credit for."

"That sort of thing tends to happen when you try to lock people in an ivory tower," She sighs wistfully. "A gilded cage. A gold box. A...um..."

"I get it."

"Aw, come on. There has to be another one."

"Walled garden," he mutters, tracing a cool finger down her cheek. It sends goosebumps along her arms.

"Yes! A walled garden, thank you."

"You don't have to explain why you're upset. I understand very well," Edward tells her, having the decency to seem reproachful at least. "Bella has agreed to wait till morning to unleash the wrath of an angry grizzly bear."

Roman hums. "That's good. I didn't feel like being angry with you right now."

"Thank you for postponing it," he says sarcastically.

She moves in his lap, fixing herself so that she could look directly into his eyes, letting her mind go blank as it can be. It was hard to have a conversation with him when he knew everything she was going to say. It made her feel as if she was at a bit of a disadvantage sometimes.

It made her wish this was one of those moments he couldn't hear her clearly.

"How do you feel about me becoming a vampire?"

He stiffens. "I thought you didn't wish to argue."

"I don't. I plan on having a serious discussion about this," she states rather calmly. "It's something I've been bracing to ask you for a while now."

"Now isn't the time."

"There is never going to be a good time for this, Edward, please."

He sighs, shifting down so her head rested more against his chest. She could still see him perfectly, his eyes were steely with anger in the dark.

"I detest the thought of you damming your soul for me," he whispers, a hand sliding along her bare shoulder. "You have so much life in you. To waste it all on me would be the greatest waste."

"You talk like you're undeserving of love. That is the furthest thing from the truth."

"I don't deserve to selfishly keep you."

Roman lands into his touch, resting a hand on his chest. "You aren't keeping me, though, I'm giving myself too you and Bella. I'm choosing this."

"You're choosing a life of eternal damnation."

She considers it, trying to understand why he was so adamant that he was destined to go to hell. He was a good, kind, person. He wasn't like Victoria or Julius. Edward was good, pure. His soul couldn't be sent anywhere but heaven if they were speaking in such simple terms of black and white religious mortality.

Personally, she liked to believe everyone ended up in the same place to receive what was waiting for them. She thought the ancients were right when they weighed the wealth of your soul and decided how you were to spend the afterlife. It wasn't something so clear cut as he viewed it. Roman had no fears for her soul — even if she was to become a creature of the undead. A soul stuck with you until the very end.

"I'm choosing a life with you, eternal, because my love for you is fathomless. If I could spend forever at your side it wouldn't be enough," Roman swears, kissing where his heart lay still under stone skin. "My soul isn't going to perish because I choose love. It feels lighter than ever now, making this choice."

"You can never take it back," he urges, pleading with her to change her mind.

"I'll never want to. I've always been good at finding things, but really, it was like you guys found me and I was just able to recognize it first. You and Bella are my soulmates, my soul will always be safe as long as it's with both of you," she whispers vehemently. "But what I really want to know is if you'll have me for eternity. If you don't want to spend it with me, then all of this is pointless. So forget about the state of my soul for a minute and tell me if forever sounds as nice to you as it does for me."

Edward lowers his mouth down to hers, kissing her snore and tender. "Nothing will be right without you," he speaks against her lips.

She finds his mouth once more, savouring each glorious second that he allies her to kiss him because he tastes so sweet, so much like love, that it threatens to burst her heart.

Hands touch at her thighs, shifting her so she was straddling his waist — the power of the position not lost on her — but she didn't push it, taking her time to thoroughly explore every inch of his lips, hands curling in his hair, locking herself against him. Roman can't help waiting to press a little forward, a fire burning through her to her core.

Her tongue darts out, tracing the curve of his icy lips. She wanted to taste his mouth, delve into the—

Edward pulls back, breathing across her face as she pants in his lap, clenching to him tightly.

"You're going to drive me mad," he tells her, dropping his head so his lips could brush against the thrumming vein in her neck.

Excitement shoots through her.

His hands were wrapped dangerously close to her inner thighs.

"You're a tease," she finally managed to say. Her voice sounds much too high and breathless. "How can you live tormenting yourself like this?"

"It's a sweet torture that I will accept always," he mutters into her skin.

Her thighs tense and she curls her fingers tighter into his shirt. "How can you say that so calmly?"

She can feel him smile against her, a brief kiss pressing to her neck before he pulls away -- shifting her so she was tilted off his lap as if her strength and grip meant nothing. "I have amazing self-control," he tells her, smiling that crooked grin of his. "You should get to sleep. It's late."

Sighing, she lies back, fingering the length of her braid miserably. "I'm not tired."

"Ah, that's my fault then."

Roman rolls, eyes flickering around the dark room. "Read to me?" she request, flickering her gaze back to him.

He stays silent for a moment before he's moved across the room and back between them in a flash, a book in hand. She pressed closer, resting her head in his lap once more. Bella remains still where she sleeps peacefully beneath the blankets.

Looking up, she can see the outline on the cover, the title one that makes her want to laugh. It seemed to be a thing with them, the love for this ridiculous book. Heathcliff and Catherine were monstrous.

But she had come to feel a certain respect for the terrible relationship that was portrayed in the pages of people that you were meant to dislike. It wasn't her fault she believed so entirely in love that she just felt like they destroyed whatever little meaning it held to them.

"Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I can not live without my life! I can not live without my soul!" Edward reads, voice liltingly beautiful.

Roman hums, closing her eyes as she listens to him long into the night.

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Oh wow, so i don't even know what to write for the end of the chappie note today? leave me some comments or something idk. it seems like ive been getting fewer comments?

unedited

2019-11-24