You learn to see things differently as a parent, as a mother. You learn to pay attention to the details, the little moments, that might not be important then, at that second, but was important later, when you got the chance to look back and watch as they slept.

They were so peaceful, beautiful cherubic faces, angelic children that lay still like mini gods in beds tucked away into a shared room -- both still so small, still young enough at mind to enjoy sharing, to enjoy sleeping in the same bed when their parents didn't have the heart to separate them.

Romulus was clingy, he was always clingy. He liked to know that someone was there, liked to feel another touch even in sleep, and Renesmee was always, and will always, be the sort that sought physical comfort. It was her preferred manner of communication, after all, and sometimes, just sometimes, she was able to share her dreams if she was close enough.

There were many times that her son had woken to her with silly, eager tales of the things that his sister showed to him, of the colourful things she put together in her mind. 

It was subconscious, the little twist of her power that only came while asleep. 

Sometimes, Roman would sit with them through the night while Edward and Bella researched, she would press her daughter's palm to her cheek and watch the flutter and fading of her dreams. She would sit and listen to them, the twin hummingbird beat of their hearts a familiar song that she could listen to for hours. 

You learn what it takes to be a parent early on, and you learn that every moment is precious. 

She knew that every moment was precious, that time wasn't her enemy in this as it was for humans. Because her children would always be there no matter what Edward and Carlisle, and Bella and Jacob, and everyone, continued to believe. 

It was perhaps why she let herself finally relax after Sue's visit and with every visit from her and Charlie that came after. Roman would ask more time to hunt, would find herself pressed to various surface the moment she got one of her mates alone -- and if not her, it would be them pressed down as she pressed herself to them ravenously. 

She was fine with things a little more than she was before. It was easier to breathe again, easier to see time for what it was, even with the panic around her, because there was no enemy, there was no rival or prey for her to fight there. 

Her enemies lied elsewhere, with the Volturi and the ominous message that they had sent -- late weddings presents, a necklace and a matching set of earrings -- that told her that they officially knew of her existence in a way that she wasn't certain of before. 

They wouldn't be happy of Edward having two mates, of Carlisle's coven getting bigger so quickly, all at once, and they wouldn't be happy when they learnt of her gift either. 

Demetri of the Volturi was said to have the most powerful tracking ability that anyone had ever seen. He would lock onto the essence of a person's mind, their flavour, and then you would never be able to escape him. He would follow you everywhere, anywhere, once he had gotten close enough to get a sense of you just once. 

It was something that made her incredibly eager, despite herself. She wanted to see how well he would fare against him, how she ranked against the best tracker to ever exist because she was more than a tracker, Roman was a hunter, a predator, and losing to him would be her biggest defeat and greatest honour. 

She worked so differently from him. She followed trails that she put together, followed paths set out far and wide based on what it was that she wanted most, what she needed and was searching for. Roman just found was she was looking for, she always had and always will. 

But just like a true predator, she was capable of pulling away, of hiding. She wondered if she could hide from him, if she could just blip out of existence once he's seen her. 

Though, she would never dare speak such a thing aloud, and never near Edwar where he could hear, because already he was upset with Bella's suggestion that she go alone to prove her change thinking that it would be enough for them. 

They would want to see her just as much as he did Bella, to make sure, and she doubted she would learn to hide herself as Bella could. 

"You're making a weird face," Jacob tells her, breathing out the words as he slips into the room. It wasn't odd for her to see him here. He always slipped in whenever he could, whenever there was someone else with them so that he had an excuse. 

"Goodmorning," she whispers as she absentmindedly rubs her hands up and down their backs. "Where are Bella and Edward?" 

"Back at the house. They've started rereading things."

Sighing, she worries her bottom lip. They weren't likely to find anything new. 

"They're referencing everything against your maps," he continues, moving the rocking chair to the side of the bed, between the one that they were occupying and the cold, untouched one covered with navy-blue sheets and a dinosaur stuffed animal. "Jasper and Emmett were going over what you put down, checking against what myth and legend say, while Eddie and Bells use your maps to see if they missed anything."

"They've done that what seems like a thousand times, already," she mutters, moving her hands up to play with their hair. "They aren't' going to find anything new unless they go to South America themselves."

"I told them you would say that," he says, smug as he props his elbows on his knees. "You hate me and even I know that much." 

"They don't want to admit that they've run out of options here. I think they're hoping that Alice sees what they've been waiting for." 

"She won't. Can't see Ness or Rom, remember?"

"Don't you think I know that? Bella just doesn't want to leave yet and no one wants to force her."

"Seth doesn't want you to leave yet, either."

"I know, but I get the feeling that we would be right back, and if not, you would all have our address," she says. "Charlie and Sue will visit, you'll likely follow us, and Seth can come after he finishes school."

Jacob is silent, gaze unwavering as he gazes down at Renesmee -- his imprint, her mind spits at her angrily. "I have a pack here, now." 

She tries to smile sympathetically, knowing how much the pack meant to him, his family, but it was hard when it was him and her dislike that never wavered once. "You wouldn't force them to do a thing. They would go back to Sam if they really wanted." 

"Quil and Embry just joined my pack. I just made Leah my beta and I wouldn't force want her to choose between Sam and leaving her imprint."

Roman freezes, the words rattling through her mind taunting her. "Her what?" she hissed.

"Oh shit." 

"Her what, Jacob?"

"Look, I wasn't supposed to say anything..."

"Clearly! Why didn't she say anything? Why didn't she want me to know?" 

Jacob sighs, dragging a hand down his face as he grumbles nonsensically. "Leah knows you, Roman. She wouldn't want to get your hopes up in case it didn't work out." 

"Why wouldn't it work out?" she demands. "Leah's lovely." 

"So's your friend, apparently," he chuckles blandly. "Your bakery girl, Tessa." 

"Tessa? Tessa Hale? I knew there was something more than what they were telling me," she curses, already planning what she was going to say the girl when she next saw her. There was no way that Leah was ever going to get away with keeping such big secrets, that little hypocrite. 

A tiny hand pats her chest with a small groan. "Mamma," Romulus whines, dragging himself closer as he blinks up at her with big, sleepy eyes. 

"I'm sorry, baby, did I wake you?" 

"Yes. It's okay. Ressie up?"

Jacob shakes his head. "Nah, she's not up yet, kiddo." 

Romulus frowns, eyes narrowed at the young man sitting in the chair. "Why are you here?" 

She snickers, head tilting back to hide her smile from the boy. His aversion to the shifter was something that he picked up from her, something that grew that longer he felt like Jacob was a nuisance, and really, Bella would be quite upset if she saw that Roman was encouraging it, but she couldn't help it. 

Her son was allowed to hate whoever he wanted when he had his own reasons for doing so. 

Jacob wasn't deterred by his attitude, though, so she supposed that was a good thing. "I came to keep your mom company while you slept."

"You still have some time left to sleep if you want, sweets--" she glances to the clock-- "it's not yet seven." 

"No thank you," he says politely, sitting up beside her. "I'm hungry." 

Roman smiles. "What would you like for breakfast?" 

"Bear." 

Her smile falters slightly before it snaps back into place with full force. "You're still too small for that. Besides, there are no bears around here. We would have to go pretty far to find one." 

"How far?" 

Eyes closed, she listens carefully, searching for that familiar sound, and when she can't hear a thing, she searches more, deeper, naturally falling back to her mind and the natural way that she could find what she wants. She hoped that she could make it better later, more precise with practice. Everything could be improved. 

There was an itch in her throat when she came up seconds later, a dryness to her mouth that made her uncomfortable to rest so still and careless next to her children. 

"Maybe fifteen miles if I'm right," she tells him. 

His expression shafts, mouth pulling into a thoughtful frown as his brow pinches. "That's not very far."

"It's far enough for you," Jacob cuts in. "How do you plan to take down a bear tiny?" 

He knows the answer to that one, eager as he turns smug. "Mamma will get it for me."

"Oh, I will?" 

"We can share. You, Ressie and I."

"What makes you think your sister will want to go with you?" 

"She said so in her sleep," he says matter-of-factly. 

Looking to Jacob for help, she finds him sitting back with a horrible thoughtful expression. He was considering it, unable to not give Renesmee whatever it was that she wanted, he was working out how they would do it, the best way to keep her safe while giving her what would make her happy. 

She would have to call them, get them to come side with her because Roman was just as much of a pushover as he was. Should would give them what they wanted, she would crumble under puppy dog eyes and well-worded arguments. 

"You have to ask your mom," she finally says.

"But mommy will say no," Renesmee's sad little voice whispers from her place tucked into Roman's side snuggled under her blankets. "She'll think it's too dangerous."

"If that's what she thinks, then maybe it is dangerous." 

"Mommy thinks a lot of stuff is dangerous." 

"Mom can come with us," Romulus says, shrugging like it's an easy solution. "And dad. Then nothing will be dangerous and we can all share." 

"You like when we share, right?" Renesmee adds.

Suddenly, it feels like she just landed herself in a trap as they talk circles around her, the gentle creak of the rocking chair with each uncaring push trapping her alone in the fight. Manipulative little creatures with the face of an angel, that's what they were. 

What they were asking for had to be sacred, or something, their first hunt, not yet three months old, and she wasn't sure how to tell them no when it seemed entirely like they were ready -- if not for their age and just how small they still were. 

The first hunt had to be sacred, something to be witnessed by their family because before this they had always had the blood brought to them as someone would hunt on their behalf as they were weened off the human stuff. 

Taking them without discussing it with Edward and Bella wouldn't sit right with her. 

But she did need to hunt, Roman could feel as much as her belief in herself screamed that the itch in her throat was too risky, that the slight push at the back of her mind too insistent. 

"Uh, you have to ask mom and dad, too. It can't just be me that makes the decision," Roman says firmly, pulling the blankets back with a twitch and a blur of her wrist. "Now, if you go get yourself ready, we can go see them to ask. What do you say?" 

They were running to their closets and drawers the next second, picking things to wear with her and Jacob's careful prodding as they made sure they picked out something appropriate for the weather. 

After she kicked the shifter out so she could help them get ready, it didn't escape her notice that they picked outdoors wear. 

The confidence was outstanding. 

Taking them up into her arms, Roman shot Jacob a warning look as he made to take Ressie from her, sending him to warn her mates of the newest change and milestone that they wished to overcome. 

And as she moved around her room, kids silently sat on the untouched bed, Roman pulled out the new, stylish hiking gear that Alice had stocked for her. It took a considerable amount of time to find her favourite pair of boots that were hidden at the back of the closet. 

"Guess I won't need my jacket, this time," she mumbles to herself, thinking back to all the hiking she had done in her life and tried not to think of this time as too different as she doesn't see her work clothes. "It'll be just a regular trip without it." 

"Mamma doesn't need a jacket," Renesmee says, big brown eyes blinking when she emerges fully dressed. "You don't get cold." 

"Ah, but you will both need a jacket, just in case."

"Won't they get dirty?"

They come into her focus, slipping into her range as they come to meet her. "The beauty of clothes is that you can wash them," Roman says, sitting in front of the mirror to dot on her freckles. "Mom and dad are coming now, do you want to fight me on jackets, as well?" 

The pair shake their head and share a quick look. "We're leaving soon?" 

And then she realizes that she's somehow already been convinced and agreed to all of this madness. 

Time wasn't her enemy, she had to remind herself, time was just a construct and being a parent meant that you can only do your best even if you weren't there for every single second. 

Roman grins. "If they agree, of course. It is breakfast, right?" 

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unedited 

2020-04-28