Pressing her fingers against her eyelids, Roman sighed deeply, chasing away the pounding headache that stabbed sharply behind her forehead spreading along to her temples and down the length of her spine.

The maps messy and crumbled around her filled with the details of the forest. Each section showed each clearing and trail, each threateningly old tree -- each memory of each path she had walked. It didn't help in finding Bella's special meadow.

There was little her love could remember about the place that was actual fact and not just deep emotions. A lot of the flowers were purple, highly undisturbed and wide, relatively round with trees so thick that you could almost miss it.

Roman could remember seeing only a handful of places that fit the description and it stabbed at her brain with the urge to remember. It peeved her how she couldn't remember the place when she could remember almost every trail, old and new, that she had hiked in her life -- every trail except for the ones that led to this mystery place.

Groaning, she pushed the papers away, dropping her head back to rest against the side of her bed looking to the spin of the ceiling fan and the click of chain with each movement.

The doorbell has her staggering to her feet, stretching with each step. She buzzes whoever it is in, unlocking the inner door and sticking her head out to look down the stairwell.

"Bella?"

"Roman! I-- I don't know what else to do," she breathes, steps stuttering as she shakes off her shoes. Roman takes her jacket from her, hanging it up by the door as Bella twitches nervously.

"About what?"

"Jake. He... he hasn't been answering his phone and he doesn't call me back anymore. I feel like I've done something wrong and I can't--" she chokes on her words, voice hoarse, and she can't stop herself from reaching out and grasping her around the middle, holding her tight to her chest in a tight hold. "It's been a week and he won't talk to me. It's been radio silence since the movies."

Breathing deeply, her chest swell with a sigh and she leans her cheek against Bella's shoulder. Roman had never been very good at comforting people, her mouth usually running faster than her thoughts could handle, pouring from her like a waterfall after a heavy storm, rushing in a way that made her eyes ring with the sheer volume of her own stupidity.

"Do you want to get out of here?" she offers hesitantly. "Get ice cream or something?"

"Ice cream at the end of February?"

Roman wrinkles her nose. "Well, yeah, uh, yeah, ice cream is always good, but we could get hot chocolate or coffee or something."

Bella smiles shyly. "Ice cream does sound good, actually."

"Great. Great! Put your boots back on and give me a minute."

Darting back to her room, she shuffles through her things, pulling on a pair of thick socks and her hiking boots -- sadly the only pair of boots that she actually owned -- and jerked a brush through her hair, thankful she had thought to get dressed today instead of bumming around her house.

Tripping over her feet as she tries to avoid the papers scattered around the floor, Roman stills as she dips to the ground, squinting at the maps and trails that she had highlighted.

"Oh. Oh, I see it now," she whispers to herself, grabbing a pen from where it lay atop her comforter and circled an out of the way clearing. It was rather far off from the other trails that were normally used but wasn't entirely difficult to navigate as one might assume it would be.

She hoped it was the right one.

Folding the map so that it would fit well in her jacket pocket, Roman jumped to her feet and made for the kitchen. Bella was sat precariously at the edge of a wooden chair, her coat already on, and Roman moved around the table to where the walkie-talkies rested in their base to charged, cradled snug and ready for use.

"Actually, I have a better plan than ice cream," she told her friend. "That is, we could always get ice cream after we're done."

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see," Roman says, trying to sound mysterious, sounding a little goofy instead. It still makes Bella laugh which is a relief, and she takes it as a win as she pulls on her jacket, forcing a hat and scarf out as she jerks the sleeve around. "You might want to take the hat and scarf, though."

"What?" Bella deadpans. "Wait, Roman, what?"

The drive was pleasantly quick, even as Roman fiddled with the buttons on the walkie as she checked the different stations, searching to make sure that there wasn't something going on in the woods that she wasn't aware of just yet. The channels were silent and she wasn't sure what to make of it, especially since someone would have snapped at her for playing around by now.

She wouldn't need it anyway. She knew her way around these woods better than anyone and she didn't fear bears with all the traps they had placed down over the week -- she knew where all of those were anyway, and if not, she could spot one just as easily.

By the time that she had directed Bella to pull into a spot in the small cleared space for parking, the other girl was strikingly silent, hesitant to get out from behind the wheel.

"Come on," she encourages. "I think I found your special place."

"What?" Bella croaks.

"Yeah, your meadow. Come one." 

She climbs out the truck as though in a daze and nods with a beaming smile, offering a hand for the other girl to take. It hangs there, as though suspended in space while pure panic sears through me like a wildfire, but then she reaches out, dimming the flames with a soft touch of her fingers as they entwine with my own.

"Lead the way," Bella breathes.

It doesn't take long for her to find the path and head them in the right direction, guiding them along until Roman is forced to take the lead with their linked hands tethering them together with each step.

It also doesn't take long for the silence to get to Bella, apparently, as she begins talking to fill the silence.

"They keep telling me that he's sick or that he can't talk. Most of the time they just don't answer at all," Bella rants, following close behind Roman as they veer off one of the trails. "Harry says he has mono. How could he have mono?"

"I don't know, Bells, maybe he actually is sick because there is no way that so many people could be in on something like that."

"Maybe I should go and see him..."

"And risk getting sick?"

Bella snorts and Roman glances back at her. "As if you wouldn't take care of me," she teases bravely. The ranger has to look away quickly to hide just how true that statement was.

She clears her throat. "But then I would get sick."

"I'd take care of you too, you know, if you needed it."

They lapse into comfortable silence because Roman isn't certain what sort of thing she could say to that. There wasn't anything she could say anyway that didn't make her sound intense and overwhelming.

Climbing a small, steep incline, she glances back to her friend finding her bent over digging her way up with her hands in the dirt. She snorts, offering a hand to pull her the rest of the way up.

"How did you do that so easily?" Bella huffs.

She arches a brow. "I do it for a living."

"Oh, right."

"Come on, I think we're nearly there."

She leads them through a section of think branches, naked still at the end of winter, mixing with the pines whose bristles pick at her skin as she passes through, tugging at her hair. They stumble through into a dead clearing -- the space depressing browns and ugly yellows, and she could see how pretty it would look come spring and summer when the flowers bloom again and the grass grew anew, but now it was sad, empty of life.

Bella's steps stuttered forward, dragging until she fell to her knees sobbing into her hands as she bent over herself muttering his name over and over and Roman was struck, as though an arrow through the heart, at the realization of what this was, of what the significance of this one place held.

She was invading their space and it was as though she felt as though she could fade away into a ghost never belonging here with her, with the memory of them.

Scanning the clearing, Roman tried not to let her thoughts wander to what it would have been like to be here with the couple, to be part of them. Did they have picnics seated in the tall flowers on the occasional sunny day? Did they simply lay together enjoying one another's company?

"Are--?" she stops, words hanging miserably in the air and she curses herself for not knowing what to say, rather, if she should say anything at all.

Maybe it would have been better to let her find this place with Jacob. At least he would know what to say to her if he should say anything.

Bella had never mentioned this place to her before, not until she needed help finding it. There must have been tons of things she didn't know about it, unaware to all the sentimental weight hat it carried -- even if she could guess most of it.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she moves forward, placing a hand on her shoulder and crouching by her side. "Are you alright?"

"I miss him so much, more than anything, and it's crazy, Roman. I'm going crazy because, because I keep- I keep looking for him everywhere and he's just not there," Bella sobs, dropping further in on herself, but she does tip over slightly, falling against Roman's legs. "How can he have just left? I don't, I don't understand what I did wrong."

"No. No, hush, don't think of it like that. Bella, Bella, it's nothing that you did. You're perfect."

"Then why, why did he go?"

"I don't know, but it's not because you did something wrong. Edward loved you, loves you so much that anyone with a functioning brain could see that," she tells her, dropping her knees and wrapping a comforting arm around her.  "He loved you so much. Edward wouldn't have left for no reason."

Bella cries harder, a whining scream sounding at the back of her throat. Roman winces, thinking she's doing more harm than good.

"Falling in love is easy, keeping love is not. I know it sounds cheesy, but everything will work out if it's meant to be and I know that you and Edward are meant to be."

"I'm sorry," she whimpers and Roman can feel tears soaking her pants. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because I-- I can see the way you look about me sometimes. I can't... I can't stop thinking of it."

Roman stills, panic freezing her limbs as her mind goes blank, the Kill Bill sirens in her head not helping the way she scrambles to form some excuse or explanation, to fix whatever mistake she made to have screwed up so royally. It's like her heart is screaming, protesting with every breath, and she feels a wave of torment race and grief crash through her as her soul prepared her for her loss.

"Jake, he pointed it out. He wouldn't stop talking about it, and I didn't want to believe him at first, but then I thought--" Bella shakes her head-- "I started looking and I wasn't sure I wanted to believe it..."

"Listen, it's not--"

"I didn't want to get my hopes up," Bella rushes out, tears and shaky confidence softening her voice. "But I think I need to know, Roman..."

Gulping, she faces the sky, hoping for the rumble of thunder and lightning to strike her down. Her very world was shattering, crumbling in her hands, and she was falling apart with it, falling under the sharp edges and pieces.

"I... I don't want you to think less of me," she whispers, hoping that wind would come and cast the words away.

"I don't think I ever could."

"I love you. I love you so much that there is not a singular moment I wish to stay away from you, Bella, I treasure each second, each fragile second and I love you so much that I'm scared it'll kill me," Roman gasps with a tremulous voice. She had imagined this moment going soo differently like a moment of awakening, of this burden being taken from her shoulders, freeing her from the truth she had been so scared to admit. "And I know that it isn't what you want to hear, but I can't stop it, I never want to stop it, so I understand if you hate me or find me disgusting. Just, it's not it, okay, and I can't help it, but I love him too, okay? I love you both and it's a thing, it's a real thing and I'm not a freak. It's called--"

"Roman, Roman, it's okay, Roman!" Bella cries, and her hands at on her face, pulling it down to face her. "Please, don't cry. Don't cry, please."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize for loving someone. Don't apologize for the way you feel," she whispers fiercely. "I-- no one can take your emotions from you, Roman. No one can tell you what you're allowed to feel and they wouldn't have a right to."

"Loving you both isn't--"

"There is nothing wrong with that!"

"It's selfish! It's... it's not fair to you."

"I asked because I wanted to be sure, to know how it would feel when you said you loved me and I know that it's not selfish now, because I know that I love him but I also feel something for you, Roman," Bella admits and suddenly there's ringing in her ears.

"You..."

"I can't give you anything now, but I needed you to know, okay? Because you can't leave me. I wouldn't be able to take it if you left."

"I'm not going anywhere, Bells, I would do anything to be with you, even if it meant being your friend for the rest of forever," Roman says earnestly. "I would take anything you're willing to give me. I understand how hard it is to have him gone."

She smiles sadly. "You lost him too, didn't you?"

"It's not the same," she immediately denies.

"It doesn't have to be."

Giggling, she barely catches the rustle of leaves under soft footsteps. Her head snaps to the man, dressed in old, worn clothing and with startling red eyes. He had come from nowhere.

Bella gasps, standing in a rush and placing herself so Roman was partially hidden from sight. "Laurent!"

"Bella?" he asked, looking astonished, and she placed a hand to the back of the girl's leg.

"You remember."

"I didn't expect to see you here," he remarks and he moves closer, strolling in this casual way that reminded her more of an animal stalking its prey than lonesome hiker.

Her grip on Bella tightens. Her friend places a steadying hand on the crown of her head, keeping her in place. "Isn't it the other way around? I do live here. I thought you'd gone to Alaska."

"Ah, I did. Still, when I found the Cullen's home empty I assumed that they took you with them," Laurent observes and acid rolls in Roman's stomach. "I'm surprised they left you behind. I thought you were a... pet of theirs."

"Something like that." She shifts on her feet, moving so that she could no longer see Laurent from her place on the ground. She wanted to get up, but the pressure on her head increased, urging her to stay down and silent. Fear hammered in her chest as their conversation continued, growing odder with each word. 

"Do they visit often?"

"All the time! Edward--" the name sounds harsh on her tongue, painful-- "doesn't like to leave me alone for long, though, I imagine it seems longer to me. You know how they get distracted."

"When I was at the house it smelled as though it was vacant for a while," he remarks all to casually and she winces as she realizes that Laurent knows Bella is lying.

"I'll have to tell Carlisle you stopped by! He'll be upset to learn he missed your visit."

She wants to say something, some sort of defence or distraction that'll pull his attention away from Bella but the words are stuck on her tongue and suddenly he's moving closer, prowling again.

"Your friend is very beautiful. I am not surprised you wish to keep her hidden."

"Did Victoria ever find you?" Bella blurts out, breathless and louder than before.

"Yes..." Laurent admits, sighing. "She won't be happy about this."

"About what?" her voice trembles.

"My killing you."

Roman recoils, grasping onto the other girl tightly. "Bella..."

"It's okay. Don't move," she mutters, words barely forming.

"She wanted to kill you herself, you see? Edward killed her mate. It is only fitting that she kill his," Laurent continues, stepping closer. "Though, I do not think it'll be the revenge she imagined since he no longer seems to care for you. Still, she will be angry all the same."

"Why not wait for her then?"

Laurent sighs. "Can't you see? I am doing you a kindness. She will make it painful. I will treat you and your friend kindly."

"You leave her alone! Let her leave and I'll stay!" Bella bargains and protest spew from Roman without her meaning to, courage finding her as she finds her feet and stands beside her love instead.

"She is quite pretty indeed, though, I cannot find her scent. Odd." Laurent is impossibly at her side then, fingers sending sharps pangs of disgust and terror down her side as he reaches for her neck.

She jerks out of his reach. "Don't touch me. Leave us alone."

"Roman, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Bella cries, grabbing her arm and pulling to position her behind her back again.

Laurent laughs. "Mouthwatering."

Tugging at Bella, urging her to move back and away from the creepy man -- the creepy man that wasn't normal with the way he was sniffing them and the air -- she tried to get her to run, to move as far away as they could.

Or maybe they could attack him. Something was definitely not right with him and his red eyes but drugs didn't make you that strong and crazy, did they? They could knock him out together. He couldn't fight them both.

"I don't believe it," he says, backing away with small steps as he gazed at the evergreens that they had stumbled into the clearing though.

Deep growling came from the moving pines, shaking wildly and she gaped, a hand automatically falling to her side to reach for her tranquillizer gun only to realize that she didn't have her belt.

Slowly, with steps nimbler than could be physically possible, a giant black wolf steps into the clearing, lips pulled back into a snarl. He moves right passed them, as though they weren't even there, only having eyes for Laurent.

More follow, four in total, and she wants to both flee and take pictures because these weren't the bears that we were looking for. These were something new altogether, something bigger and smarter than what we had originally planned for.

"Don't move," she tells Bella, but that seems to be fine as she too shocked to react.

One wold, towering over them, stops at their side and just looks. Roman can see their reflection in his big brown eyes.

And then they're all gone, Laurent too, and Roman fumbles for her walkie.

"Don't," Bella orders, grabbing one of her hands as she darts in the opposite direction. "Don't tell anyone. We just need to get far away."

"But the guy! I can't just let him be eaten by mutant wolves! I have to call in."

Bella freezes. "You can't tell anyone about him, okay? You have to trust me when I say he isn't... a good guy. He isn't entirely normal."

"That isn't an explanation."

"You have to trust me, okay? I'll tell you later, but right now we need to go," Bella is begging, hand holding Roman's tight. "Can you get us back to the truck?"

She nods once. "Of course, but you have to explain, alright? None of this makes any sense!"

"I will."

Resigned, Roman tries not to think about how she had just agreed to let a man die. She isn't very surprised she would agree to something like that for Bella and wonders at how dangerous a notion that is.

***

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Oof the laurent part was vv hard to write because roman has no clue about vampires ?? so she like wtf the whole time and terrified bcuz bella knows rando hiker dudes with evil satan crackhead eyes.

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unedited

2019-07-07