Curled around Bella in her bed, she hummed happily into the crook of her neck as she kissed softly at the soft skin. 

Normally she would leave bites marks in a tantalizing path down the curve to the smooth expanse of her collar bone, tracing her touch down, down, down... but it wouldn't be appropriate to stake her claim when tomorrow there would be no point because everyone would know she was hers anyway. 

Still, she couldn't help herself when they were alone with nothing else to do for the rest of the night. She wanted to taste every inch of her, wanted to press her lips against hers until they were swollen and bruised, but it wasn't the time now, not when she would have all the time in the world later. 

Fingers dug into her hip pulling her closer, and Roman grinned, inch back enough that Bella whimpered at the loss. 

"Roman," she whined turning on her side so that she was closer. 

"We have to stop, "she says, cutting off her protest with a kiss. "Edward will be here to drive me to the treaty soon." 

"You can always stay the night here," she offers, pouting as Roman giggles and pulls away. 

"You know I can't. It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding." 

"Does that count if there are two brides?" 

"Counts as double," she giggles, taking her hand into hers and kissing her fingers. "It's only one night that you'll be alone, Bella. You'll survive without us." 

She mumbles something and drops back onto her pillows. "Why are you and Edward so intent on keeping with tradition?" 

"Well, it's not like we're really keeping with tradition since poly weddings aren't really traditional, but there are a few things that I want to stick to if I can," she says, brushing Bella's cheek with her thumb. "I know that you're only really doing this for us, but it's almost done, and then we can just live happily ever after!"

"You're too positive, Roman," she whispers, leaning into the girl's touch. "You're going to start making me excited about this if you aren't careful." 

"As it should be! Maybe I should keep talking so that you get all eager and pumped for tomorrow." 

"I am pumped, Roman, I do want to marry you both, I just... don't understand the purpose of the ceremony and celebration. It's nothing more than a piece of paper for me, but I understand why you both really want to go through with it." 

She sighs. "I just wish that you felt about it the same way that I do, but I understand if you have your private reservations. Maybe you'll see what I mean tomorrow when you're wearing your dress for the real thing and getting ready to walk down the aisle." 

"Well, there's one thing I'm excited about," Bella says, pushing up so that her face hovered over Roman's. "I can't wait to see you in that dress you're terribly excited about." 

Heat rushes to her cheeks, a smile bursting across her lips. "You're going to love it."

"I know," she whispers against her lips. "I love you in everything you wear." 

She breathes in sharply, hands gripping Bella's shirt tightly as she pulls her down. "And do you have a favourite?" 

"Green and pink," she admits, pressing a quick kiss to her lips. "Anything green and pink, though I really do love you in red." 

"Oh? Are you going to be adding white to the list?" 

"Everything is on the list," Bella says, smiling as she kisses her again. 

"Roman!"

The yells jolts them apart, bumping heads as Bella scrambles back. 

"Edward's here," Charlie shouts, voice gruff and strained as it sounds from the bottom of the stairs. 

Giggling, she gives her a final kiss before sliding off the bed, "I'll see you tomorrow, babe." 

"Tomorrow," Bella agrees with a nod. 

Skipping down the stairs, she stops in front of Charlie and smiles shyly. "Chief Swan." 

"Roman," he says, reaching over and pulling her into an awkward hug. "Get yourself a good nights sleep." 

"You, too, Charlie," she says, patting his back. "I'll see you in the morning." 

The day they had asked for his blessing to marry his daughter was the first time that he had given her one of his little stiff hugs. He hadn't understood at first, hadn't figured how the whole thing would work, and had adamantly expressed his worry for the three of them and how the world would view it. 

She didn't blame them when there were so many stereotypes and stigmas that surrounded same sex relationships, not to mention poly ones. They had sat together long after Bella had left to start on dinner and she had dismissed Edward to help her -- because no matter how much he hears in the conversations around him and the thoughts of other people, Roman was the most modern of them all and was best to explain these things in the most gentle, straightforward way that she could -- and talked it over until he was much more open to the thought, or well, he was much more open to the thought of Roman marrying Edward than he was of Bella. 

Maybe because she had spent so much time around the house as it was, or maybe it was because she had helped to pull Bella from her depression. 

She didn't much care since she had his blessing and approval and knew that Charlie wouldn't hesitate to defend them around town no matter how shy and non-confrontational he was.

Edward had the door open for her when by the time she got down to the car, waiting just long enough for her to buckle in before he takes off toward the treaty line. 

"What's the hurry?" she asks, glancing at the speedometer. 

"No hurry, love, I just don't want to keep anyone waiting for you too long." 

"No one will be waiting for me long. I haven't even called them yet." 

He glances over at her. "SHouldn't you call them?"

She shrugs, reaching over to grab his hand and tangling their fingers. "I'll text Emily. She'll send whoever's available." 

"We wouldn't have to deal with this if you let me buy you a car." 

"You can buy me a fancy bike or a motorcycle for After. You know how much I enjoy the wind on my face and I only really drove in the winter." 

"It's not as safe as a car," he mentions, voice tight. 

"An accident won't hurt me After, Edward. I'll be like you then, indestructible." 

He shakes his head, pressing a kiss to the back of her hand. "You'll always be my fragile Roman no matter how indestructible." 

Her heart skips a beat, love for him clear in her thoughts and the race of the blood in her veins that warms her to the touch, heat burning her ears and down her chest. 

"Stop thinking like that," he mutters, eyes peeled to the road. 

"Like what?" she questions innocently, twisting herself so she was facing him better. 

The look he gives her does nothing to quell her insatiable fire -- and how could it? Roman was burning with want and longing that just continued to build the closer they got to the wedding. The promise he made only grew more and more prominent with time. 

It had gotten to the point where she and Bella had lots of practice that they wanted to try on him. Oh, how she wished they could try it all on him. 

"Roman," he warns, her name coming out sharp. 

"Sorry," she blushes, ducking her chin. 

Edward sighs. "It's not that I don't want to. I'm just worried I won't be able to control myself." 

"Your control is fine, Edward, I know it will be. I- I have more than enough faith that you won't lose yourself." 

"I just wish I could give you everything you wanted without any limitations or worries." 

"You are giving me everything I'll ever want," she's quick to reassure him. 

"Not everything," he mutters. 

Her brows furrow, a small niglet of worry taking route in her mind. "What do you mean?" 

"Do you remember when we told Charlie of our engagement and he believed you or Bella might be pregnant?" he asks, knowing full well that she did. 

"What about it?" 

"Part of me wished that it was true. I wish I could give you both children, that I could give you everything that comes with a human life," he explains softly, pulling over to the shoulder of the road and she realizes that they were already at the treaty line. When had that happened? How fast were they going? 

"Edward, I- I know that you want us to have full, happy human lives, and as much as the thought of having children with you and Bella is..." she sighs, unsure of the world she wants to use before shaking her head, "I would have kids with you in a heartbeat if I could, but we can't, it's not possible, so it doesn't matter because I wouldn't want to have children with anyone else."

"But Roman, you can never change your mind after. You can't take it back." 

"Are you having cold feet?" she demands, placing her hands on his cheek and forcing him to look at her. 

"Never," Edward promises, covering her hands with his. 

"Neither am I. Nothing you say will make me change my mind, nothing in the world will make me change my mind. I want this, Edward," Roman emphasizes, catching movement at the corner of her eye. One of the wolves. "I will marry you and Bella tomorrow. We will go on a wonderful mysterious honeymoon and partake in newlywed things. We will change and then live happily forever. Understood?" 

He smiles that crooked, boyish smile of his. "Yes, my love, I understand. I'm sorry." 

"I understand your concern and I forgive you. Goodnight, babe," she says, pecking his lips once before turning and climbing out of the car. "Try and get a good night's sleep," she jokes, the sound of his laughter lifting her spirits high as he speeds off.  

Approaching the treeline, she barely spots the stark black fur hidden in the shadows of the trees. "Hello, Sam," she greets, struggling to climb fully onto his back considering how much taller he was than Seth. "Emily force you to come pick me up?" 

He snorts as he takes off at a slow run, not daring to go as fast as some of the others when running with her. He was always careful, always considerate, even when she was a pretty sorry excuse for a friend. 

She couldn't remember when she had sat down to talk just the two of them, a lot longer than it had been for her to hang out with Emily. Roman tried to spend a little bit of time with each of the pack members, but it was always Seth, Leah and Emily the most. 

Logically, she knew he didn't mind, but part of her hated that this might be one of the last times they might get to interact like this when they all knew what was about to happen. 

"You know that I value your friendship, right? That I care about you as a friend, a brother even, and I just want you to remember that after things change, all right?" she finds herself saying, word vomit rushing out of her. "I hope that you'll be able to forgive me for just one day. I would really hate to miss your wedding, but I will understand if you never want to see me again because of my decisions.

"It's like with the imprint, kinda. You saw Emily for the first time after and everything just made sense, right? Well, I saw them, Bella and Edward, and my eternal compass just pointed to them and refused to move. They're my soulmates, and I can't help if I hurt people no matter how much I don't want to just to be with them. 

"And I really don't mean to hurt anyone by choosing this, but I have the opportunity to spend an impossible amount of lifetimes with them. Wouldn't you want that with Emily if given the chance?" 

Sam doesn't answer, because of course he doens't he's a wolf, but she feels the silence sting with every passing moment regardless. 

She lies forward instead, listening to the thud of his paws each time they hit the forest floor. The steady, soothing sound was a comfort to the panic she had stirred within herself. She wasn't sure why she brought it up now, but she got the sense it was because he couldn't actually answer her right away. It gave her time to collect her thoughts again, to organize her hectic, crazy mess of goodbyes that would need to be spoken soon -- possibly tonight. 

Yes, they all had to make sacrifices at times. They all had to let one thing go to become something else, and if it was only a few goodbyes, goodbyes knowing that she would likely never see them face to face again, that she would probably only ever get to speak to them in person (for their comfort and peace of mind more than hers), then it wasn't the worst thing that could happen.  

They would always be her friends, part of her new family, even they fundamentally hated the thing she was to become.

Though she was sure that the Clearwater's would never tell her no, at least Seth and Sue never would. 

Eventually, they got back to his small cabin home and he let her slide off his back. She went ahead, letting him change back in peace. 

The other's were gathered outside, a small fire lit and a table filled with food to the side. They were sitting around calmly talking for a change, sharing stories and laughing as one.

Seth sat to the side, watching with a soft, almost sad smile. He looks up, meeting her eye, and Roman gets to witness him light up just at the sight of her. 

"You always be my friend, Roman," Sam says as he comes up behind her. "You'll just be different." 

She snorts. "You say that like I'm getting a haircut." 

"I've spoken with the council. All things considered, after you've learned control and Carlisle approves, you'll be allowed to visit." 

Her neck cracks with how quickly she turns to look at him. "What?" she asks, voice thick and heavy with emotion. 

"You're part of the pack now. Forcing you to stay away is an impossible feat. You'll be welcome here again," Sam tells her in his Alpha voice. 

"Thank you," Roman whispers, tears stinging her eyes. 

Sam puts his arm around her shoulder, leading her over to the others. They greet her with loud cheers and whooping calls. "Don't go saying goodbye just yet. It's not time." 

"I won't," Roman promises. "I'm never going to say goodbye unless I have to." 

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unedited 

2020-03-25