It was a blur of excitement and movement, a blur of anticipation and slow creeping fear and worry that mingled with a terrible sense of foreboding doubt that couldn't be chased away, and Roman let it all linger distantly in her mind as she watched them stage fights and learn whatever Jasper was trying to teach them.

She didn't mean to nod off, not really, but it was late and she didn't have the means to stay up all hours of the night, and so, yeah, she might have fallen asleep with her head pressed to Bella's shoulder as they waited for Edward to join them once more.

It was late morning when she woke up, sprawled across Edward's bed, tangled messily in the sheets with her hair sticking to her face.

The sun cast a terribly bright light despite being hidden behind the clouds, unforgiving as she slowly blinked herself awake -- rolling from the bed to land on the floor with a loud thump. It was effective in getting herself fully away, at least, even if she had to throw herself from the bed to do it.

Esme was helping her to her feet immediately, a worried frown tugging at her lips. Warmth burst through her, spreading in a flurry of tingles as she faces the motherly woman, happiness radiating.

"Good morning," she chirps, smiling sleepily. "What time is it?"

"Much earlier than we thought you would be up," she tells her, and Roman lets herself lean into her arms with a bright grin. "Come, I'll make you breakfast."

Her stomach growls, telling her how hungry she actually was and she tries to think back to the last time she had an actual meal. Before the party, for sure, and even then, she didn't eat much when she was with Sue and the pack. Something about being so excited making her appetite quite small.

They went to the kitchen at a human pace, slow compared to what she expected from vampires, and she was sure it gave the others plenty of time to disperse if they wanted because she didn't see one of them as she went through the house.

At least everything was cleaned and returned to normal. There was no sign of a party having ever taken place.

Esme small casual small talk as she moved around the kitchen, a cookbook opened unnecessarily on the counter. The woman didn't look to it once.

"Edward, of course, would never admit to it," she says softly, conspiratorially. "But he checks on your my space all the time. You use your account much more than Bella does, and you post things quite often."

Roman giggles. "That's nice, though. I like knowing that he keeps track of me whenever I'm not around -- even if he knows everything that I'm going to post."

"Yes, it makes it easy for us to tell our friends about you, as well. Our family in Denali are much more knowledgable of you than they are of Bella because of your account."

The information is startling, for some reason. She didn't have any other family that she knew about so no one had ever wanted to brag about her to anyone before in her life. She didn't mind knowing that the Denali cousins would have seen every stupid joke or awkward picture, she was oddly proud of it -- knowing that they considered her family enough to tell others that she was permanent.

And really, she was part of the family, now, their family, and it was such a thrilling thought, such a giddy idea that it burst in her heart and washed through her.

"So, do you, uh, know what they thought?" she asks, thanking her when she set down a plate of pancakes.

Esme smiles warmly, catching her hand from across the counter. "They think you're going to be a wonderful addition to the family. As do we."

"Thank you," Roman mutters shyly.

Her breakfast passes quickly and it doesn't surprise her when Alice shows up just as she's finished, announcing that she was expected at the Swan house. Bella wanted to talk to them and Roman felt just the same. She wanted to see them, wanted to speak her mind and discuss this whole Victoria thing -- including this war that Edward was going to fight.

And she felt remarkably off, not being with them, like a part of her was missing. They were a unit, and sometimes, it felt like she was an absent-minded addition to that, no matter how secure in her relationship she was.

They loved her. They really, truly loved her, and Roman wasn't going to convince herself otherwise. She loved them too much to let doubt fester in her thoughts.

Roman just loved them so deeply, so completely, that losing them now after getting a taste, she would honestly die.

It doesn't take long for her to get dressed in the comfiest style of clothes that Alice would allow her to wear before they quickly left. They sped along in the canary yellow Porsche until they were too close to town to do so.

Bella's home appeared before her all too quickly.

Edward was waiting around the side, lips quirked in that crooked half-smile of his and Roman swears she nearly swoons at how boyish he looked.

God, she loved that boy.

"Hey, babe," she greets, voice far too airy to be casual. "How's your day been?"

His eyes twinkle with a knowing mirth. "Very relaxed. I imagine it's been the same for you."

Her thoughts are his only warning as she launches herself at him, vaguely aware of the rip of the Porsche's engine as Alice pulls away, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, holding him as close that she could, before pressing her lips firmly to his.

If she could greet him like this every time then she would spend eternity happy forever.

Now, if Bella was with them...

Edward pulls away as her cheeks flush with heat at the thought, eyes dark and telling as she huffs for air.

"Your love to tempt fate, don't you," he chuckles, holding her close as he carries her around the side of the house toward Bella's room.

He jumps them in through the window easily, placing her down gently to her feet as her stomach swooped. She giggles, holding his bicep as she steadies herself.

She notices Bella still tucked into bed when she gets around to looking, and she makes an attempt to be quiet as she kicks off her shoes and crawls under the covers with her. She doesn't waste a moment in wiggling herself into her girlfriend's arms with a happy hum.

Edward chuckles as he seats himself at the other side of the bed.

"I know I saw you both last night, but I missed you," she whispers, snuggling closer to Bella.

"I miss you every moment that we're apart."

Her heart skips a beat.

"I can't wait for the moment that we no longer have to be parted, then."

He looks at her closely, golden eyes strikingly alluring. "I hope so as well. Roman... what is your stance on marriage?"

Startling, she blinks slowly, unsure of where the question came from but unable to fight back the rapid race of her heart.

"I- I think that's it's romantic and one of the best ways to display how deeply you love a person. It's an act of binding yourself to the person you want to spend your life with no matter what. That you're willing to tell the world that they are yours and you are theirs--" she sighs dreamily, shaking her head-- "I wish one day I could be married to you both, but I doubt it will ever be allowed."

Bella yawns, stretching her fingers out, reaching, before they come into contact with Edward's hand, grasping him closely. She blinks awake, turning in her bed to face Roman with a sleepy smile.

"When did you get here?" she asks happily, seeking out Roman's hand with her free one.

"Not that long ago. Alice dropped me off."

"That was nice of her."

"I think she just wanted an excuse to drive her fancy car."

"She loves that car."

"For good reason," she says, pressing down closer to Bella. "It's an amazing car."

Bella laughs, resting her cheek against the top of Roman's head. She smiled into the embrace, spotting Edward watching them with a fond smile.

"What time is it?" Bella blurts, sitting up abruptly. "Is it afternoon?"

Edward nods. "Hungry?" he asks. "I can bring you breakfast in bed."

"I'll get it," Bella says, slowly rising with a groan. "I need to get up and moving."

She pads along behind them like an eager puppy, knowing that was exactly what she was and didn't care in the slightest as she followed along -- just happy to be with them again.

"You wouldn't be so tired if you had stayed here and slept like you were supposed to," Edward comments, sitting at the table as Roman settles in his lap as Bella gets herself a Pop-tart.

"Right! And miss everything?" Bella demands, scoffing as she leans against the counter waiting for the toaster. "You know, you need to start accepting the fact that I'm part of thefamily now."

He smiled, wrapping his arms around her waist. "I could probably get used to that idea."

When Bella sits, she gets a good look at the new bracelet she wore with the little wooden wolf charm. Something ugly curls in her gut, a feeling of unbearable envy. She pushed it down, gagging on the feeling that made her sick to her stomach, knowing that Bella wasn't with him. That she wasn't choosing to be with them.

Roman was the one allowed to kiss her. She was the one allowed to hold her hand and share her bed, spend any amount of time with her as she pleased without needing to find an excuse.

They had promised forever and Bella was never going to change her mind about something like that.

"May I?" he asked, reaching for the tiny wooden wolf.

Bella swallowed noisily. "Um, sure."

He moved his hand under the charm bracelet and balanced the little figurine in his snowy palm. For afleeting moment, she was hopeful -- just the slightest twist of his fingers could crush it into splinters.

But of course, Edward wouldn't do that.

"Jacob Black can give you presents."

Roman twitches at the name. She wasn't nearly as composed as Edward. He really hated that boy more than anything.

"You give me presents," Bella argues. "You know I like homemade stuff."

He pursed his lips for a second. "How about hand-me-downs? Are those acceptable?"

"What do you mean?"

Roman's brow furrows. "Yeah, what are you on about?"

He places a finger to her lips, silencing her with a gentle shush. "I know you like presents well enough, Roman, don't worry," he says, turning back to their girlfriend. "This bracelet. You'll be wearing it a lot?"

She shrugs. Roman finds herself tensing.

It was irrational, the way she just hated Jacob so much. She trusted Bella. She did. But why was that dumb boy just so special. Why was he-- ugh!

"Don't you think it would be fair then," he says, holding Bella's wrist delicately. She finds herself sandwiched between them. "If we have a little representation?"

"Representation?"

"A charm — something to keep us on your mind."

"You're both in every thought I have. I don't need reminders."

"If I gave you something, would you wear it?" he pressed.

"A hand-me-down?" Bella checked.

"Yes, something I've had for a while." He smiled his angel's smile.

She shrugs. "Whatever makes you happy."

Roman wraps a hand around her wrist, snatching her to pull her in close. "I make no such promise. I'm not going to be left out, such inequality would literally break my heart -- so I'm going to buy you something."

"You know how I feel about that, Roman."

"Yeah, well I don't have the skills to make you something and I'm not old enough to have a small collection of meaningful things to give you, but I can do this."

"But you don't need to do that to prove that to prove your feelings."

"You're right, but I want it to serve as a reminder when we're apart."

"I don't need reminders," she stresses.

"I know that, but it'll make me feel better."

Bella looks at her closely, lips pressed in a tight line. "Fine, okay, if it makes you happy."

Smiling triumphantly, she jumps from Edward's lap to pull her into a tight hug, squeezing the girl to her chest. She wanted to kiss her, wanted to kiss her until she was stupidly dizzy, head light from lack of air, and lips bruised.

She just might, actually. It would be easy when Bella was always so willing and ready.

Edward pried them apart, a certain tightness around his eyes that made heat shoot through her veins. Oh, he might be a hundred, but he was still a teenager in mind.

There was an itch in her that she wanted him to scratch, the kind that was intolerable when he was around. If only he would let them.

His phone buzzed.

The conversation was quick and short. He handed her a glass of water before he spoke again.

The glare he gave Bella was astounding as she readily drank at the icy liquid.

"Is there something that you want to talk to me about?"

Bella pursed her lips for a moment, not quite meeting their eyes.

"I like Jasper's idea," she finally says.

"What idea?" Roman asks.

"Jasper thinks that having one of us there in the clearing would make it easier to defeat the newborns because they'll be distracted."

Her immediate reaction is to deny it, of course, to refuse the whole thing for the principle of it -- even knowing that Jasper had truly meant both of them, and not just one -- but part of her, a stupid, logical part, knew that it was an ingenious tactic that would ensure their safety and give them the advantage. Factoring in how many people would be there to protect them, they wouldn't be entirely in all that much danger -- enough that it was worth the risk, she was certain.

And she did trust them all to make sure they wouldn't die.

"Well..."

Edward groans.

"It's not that bad of an idea!" Roman insists.

"I want to help. I can't just sit around and do nothing!" Bella insists.

"It wouldn't help to have you in danger."

"Jasper thinks it would. This is his area of expertise."

Edward glowered

"You can't keep me away," Bella threatened. "I'm not going to hide out in the forest while you all take risksfor me."

Suddenly, he was fighting a smile. "Alice doesn't see you in the clearing, Bella. She sees you stumblingaround lost in the woods. You won't be able to find us; you'll just make it more time consuming for meto find you afterward."

"Roman could find you."

That makes him pause, his smug attitude fading as he realizes the truth of the matter.

Because she would find them eventually, she was positive of that. It was all just a matter of when and how long it would take her. And she knew where the clearing was now. Finding it would be easier than finding the meadow, and she had no doubt that it would be easier when she knew that they would all be there -- it would spur her into motion, motivate her further to seak them out.

Anger flickered across his face, and then he took a deep breath and composed himself. "That mighthave worked... if you hadn't told me. Now I'll just leave you both separated with Roman in La Push with Seth and you elsewhere with different protection."

"No way!" she protests instantly, decidedly siding with her girlfriend. "You aren't going to keep us apart at a moment like this. I'm not going to sit around on my own."

"I'm not going to let you put yourself in danger!"

"Putting me in La Push is the worst thing you can do then because I'll know exactly where you are and have no trouble getting there with so many available cars."

"Seth would never let you leave."

"He would to let me find Bella."

"And then he would only be too happy to lead us there. He wants to be there just as much as I do," Bella unhelpfully adds.

His grin returns far too quickly. "Then I can just ask Sam to order him not to."

Bella kept her smile pleasant. "But why would Sam give those orders? If I tell him how it would help for meto be there? I'll bet Sam would rather do me a favour than you."

He had to compose himself again. "Maybe you're right. But I'm sure Jacob would be only too eager togive those same orders."

She frowned. "Jacob?"

"Jacob is second in command. Did he never tell you that? His orders have to be followed, too."

Disgust bubbled through her. That boy again. Why was he always involved?

Roman nearly missed Edward's worried glance.

"I have to be in that clearing Edward," Bella says, determined.

"No," he said in a very final tone.

"Okay, look, Edward," Bella whispered. "Here's the thing... I've already gone crazy once. I know whatmy limits are. And I can't stand it if you leave me again."

A chill shoots down her spine, chilling her to the core as she tried to figure out what the hell Bella was doing. She had been there from the moment she had started to wake again and she knew it wasn't something she ever wanted to see again, but this -- making Edward feel bad for some plan she couldn't quite understand -- it made her more than a little uncomfortable.

She had never been guilt-tripped before, and she had never seen it done by anyone else, either.

It wasn't a happy thought.

And it wasn't a good look on her.

Love made you do incredibly ridiculous things.

Suddenly, he was holding Bella, a soothing hand running tenderly through her hair, and Roman's mouth went dry.

It was becoming much more frequent now, that she felt more and more invisible, as though it was the beginning again and they didn't always see her. When Bella and Edward were together, it was like they blocked out everything else.

Was this what dying felt like? Was this heartbreak? The kind that ripped the organ beating from her chest, shattering her soul under the weight of slowly fading away.

She missed them so much.

"You know it's not like that, Bella," he murmured. "I won't be far, and it will be over quickly."

"I can't stand it," Bella insists, still staring down. "Not knowing whether or not you'll come back. How do Ilive through that, no matter how quickly it's over?"

He sighed. "It's going to be easy, Bella. Roman will be with you. There's no reason for your fears."

"None at all?"

"None."

"And everyone will be fine?"

"I promise."

Bella meets her gaze, eyes twinkling with success. Part of her is soothed knowing that she remembered she was still there, that she was searching her out.

"So, there's no reason at all for either of us to be in the clearing?"

"Of course not. Alice just told me that they're down to nineteen. We'll be able to handle it easily."

"That's right — you said it was so easy that someone could sit out," Bella continues, the goal hitting her hard in an instance. "Did you really mean that?"

"Yes."

It was simple. It was too easy.

Her girlfriend looks as her expectantly, giving her the honours.

Roman smiles, a hand sliding up his arm as she rests her cheek against his back. "So you could sit out?"

He grows stiff, and for a moment she worries that he'll be angry, that he'll refuse.

"I know that it might be too much to ask and that I- I don't have the same base to my fears as Bella, but I've never had a chance to lose you yet, not really. This is the first time that you've been mine and I can't bear the thought of life without you now that it's here," she speaks, lips grazing him with each word. "I would give you both up if you asked. I would release you in a heartbeat, but I won't let you be stolen from me. If you die, I die with you."

"So if you're going to be in that clearing, so will we. Either you sit out or we go with you," Bella finishes.

"You ask me to let them fight without my help?" he asks quietly.

"As long as we all stay together," Bella's response is just as quiet, her hand reaching out for Roman. She links them together with a firm grip.

He takes a deep breath then exhales slowly. Quicker than normal, she was in front of him, her hand still linked to Bella's as they stood side by side. A hand cups each of their cheeks, thumb caressing the corner of her mouth.

His eyes tighten against some emotion and he pulls his hand back to reach for his phone.

"Alice," he sighed. "Could you come babysit for a bit?" She groans at the choice of words, he raises an eyebrow. "I need to speak with Jasper."

She evidently agrees and he puts his phone away.

"What are you going to say to Jasper?" Bella whispers.

Edward's hand returns to her cheek.

"I'm going to discuss me sitting out."

"I'm sorry," Bella breathes, at the same moment Roman says, "Thank you."

She felt bad, truly, for going along with Bella wayward plan, but she was truly thankful, how couldn't she be when he had given her a way to make sure that their girlfriend didn't run off, inevitably getting them both killed in the process, while also ensuring that she knew that he wasn't going to just...

A world without them was a miserable place. She could remember before it all so vividly -- the pinning and the wishing, the wanting to be noticed. She was nobody then, an empty shell from the moment she first laid eyes on him, a feeling that only multiplied when the awkward new girl appeared.

Her life had been decided for her, soulmates presented so readily, and Roman was terribly afraid of what might become of her if they were taken away.

He was saving her with a single decision, and she couldn't bring herself to regret her choice to make him stay at their side.

Edward shook his head, leaning down, and Roman slouched a little so they could all rest their heads together. "Never be afraid to tell me how you feel. If this iswhat you need..." He shrugged. "You are my first priority -- this is my first priority, always."

Bella sighs, relief flooding her being. "I am really sorry, but thank you."

Roman throws her arms around both of them, unable to contain herself. She just needed to feel them close, to know that they were there, that they would stay.

Everything was going to be fine as long as she had them both. As long as she loved them and they loved her. Nothing would go wrong.

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Hello! let me know what you think!! does roman seem a little ooc or is that just because i have a bunch of diff characters swirling in my head?

Anyway..... happy belated birthday to my valentine girl Roman!!

unedited

2020-02-15