It was spring break in Forks again and this time Roman was ecstatic to have Bella here this time, to spend time with. It made her feel light, dizzy with delight because it was going to be so nice not to need to worry about school and work now. She only needed to go in for the next hunting party. 

She had the chance to spend so much time with her, unworried and stress-free. She was on cloud nine. 

Being with her for two uninterrupted days, able to see each other whenever they wished as they wondered around the LaPush, Roman couldn't spend enough time with her and she really hoped that Bella felt the same. 

She truly hoped she did, at least, since the other girl invited her along to join her at work. And she went. She sat around Mike's shop, jumping to both of her friends between passing along the hiking boots, checking out all the new styles with interest. 

Mike jokingly tried to get her to buy a pair. She got two. Bella got the commission. 

"So what, are you dating the kid from LaPush? The Sophomore?" Mike asks, part teasing, part resentful, and Roman wonders if he's just being petty for the sake of being petty because he didn't get the commission. 

He really could have brought this all up earlier when they had all come in together. 

Bella shrugs. "You would think, but no. We do spend a lot of time together though." 

Mike's eyes narrowed shrewdly. "Don't kid yourself, Bella. The guy's head over heels for you." 

"I know," Bella sighs but her eyes flit to Roman. "Life is complicated." 

"And girls are cruel," Mike said under his breath. 

Anger bubbles in her chest at the harsh, unnecessary comment. He sounds so sad, so stupid, all because the girl he likes doesn't return his feelings. She had half the mind to knock over a display just to piss him off but she was worried he would make Bella pick it up. 

"I"m not being cruel. I just don't feel that way about him," she says dismissively, waving off his rude attitude. "Besides, I have a girlfriend." 

Her heart stops, mouth dropping, and she gapes at the girl, not quite believing what she was hearing but hoping it was true. 

Mike chokes. "What?" 

"I have a girlfriend, technically. We haven't made things official, but I know she'll say yes," Bella states, lips twitching as she tries not to smile. 

"I would," Roman pipes up, not bothering to hide her grin. 

Mike doesn't talk to them for the rest of the shift.

That night they managed to drag Marnie away from work, bringing her down to the reservation to join Charlie and Bella for dinner with Billy Black and the Clearwaters. Sam and Emily come, bringing a dessert that would make a grown man cry, and Roman beams as her mother interacts with her friends without any issue or hesitation. 

It helps that Harry and Sue are there and she's quick to tell them all about the progress they made on the wolves, hoping to reassure the parents, and the only relief they get is from Roman's reassurances. She wouldn't let them get the boys if she could help it. It's enough to keep them steady. 

Only after Jacob and Bella skip out early does Seth show up, babbling with this distracted sort of jitter to him that tips her in right away that he's doing this for Jacob's benefit. She wouldn't send him away even if he was meant to keep her busy. 

"It's so strange to see him and I never know what to say, either of them," the boy admits, giving the couple the stink eye and she wraps his shoulders in a hug. He was getting so tall. 

"I know how you feel. You don't have to talk to them if you don't want to, but you really should say something, remind them how they hurt you," she advises, struggling to rest her cheek to on his head. "It might be cathartic to get everything off your chest. Me and Em talked everything out. It was good to get all our stuff out in the open and apologize." 

Seth jumps in her ars, spinning around so that he could throw his arms around her waist. "You haven't done anything to be sorry for! They're the ones that hurt everyone." 

She nods. "I'm not going to make excuses for them, but my being a bad friend has nothing to do with what they did."

"You aren't a bad friend," he protests. 

"How often do you see me around? I don't hang out with Leah or Emily as much as I used to. I've been too invested in work and my feelings for Bella and Edward that I let myself be a bad friend without caring all that much." 

"Real friends don't have to be close all the time." 

Roman smiles down at him and messes his hair. "You're the best, Seth. I don't deserve someone like you." 

"I think you deserve only the best!"

She considers his words, brown doe eyes flash in her mind. Pale skin and a soft smile. "I already have the best." 

"You and Bella?" he blurts, bouncing on his toes excitedly. Roman has to let him do before he knocks her in the face. "I knew it!" 

Laughing she sits on the steps and pats the spot next to her. "Don't go shouting it from the rooftops, but I'm pretty sure, yeah." 

"Roman!" 

The pair jump at Jacob's call for her and she rushes off to the garage, pressing her new boots into the mud carelessly as she skids to a stop -- forgetting that he had finished building his car and that it took up the full space. 

"What? What's wrong?" she cries, rushing to the car window. 

"She's panicking and wheezing like she can't breathe," he stammers, pulling Bella's arm away from her chest. "I don't know what happened." 

Opening the door, she kneels at her side, hands fluttering hurriedly over the girl. She carefully cups her loves cheeks, holding her face gently. "Look at me, Bells, you gotta take a deep breath." 

Her chest rises and falls heavily, wheezing replaced with the sound of her shifting in the seat as she tips forward to rest her head against Roman's. She mumbling things, hands tracing where they could. 

"What's wrong?" she asks softly. 

She shakes her head, fingers curling in her shirt. "It hurts to talk about them," She whispers. "It's like I can't breathe... like I'm breaking into pieces." 

"I'm sorry, Bella, I won't bring it up again," Jacob apologizes. 

Roman frowns. "Who?" she asks anyways. 

"The Cullens. It's weird that it never happens when I'm with you." 

She smooths her hair, placing a kiss to her forward. "Don't talk about anything you aren't ready to say yet. No one's going to force you." 

Pinning Jacob with a look, Roman leans back and accepts Seth's hand as he pulls her to her feet. She didn't need to make her threat clear. It didn't matter if the wolves were as powerful as they claimed to be, she would hit the boy with the station truck if she had to. 

When they were together, just the two girls, they felt a million times better, pieces fitting back together, and Roman saw no need to mention how much Jacob really sucked as a person sometimes. All people sucked sometimes, and if it just happened to be when she was around then it wasn't her fault that it was all she could really see. 

She was self-assured, happy with how open Bella was about wanting to be with her, she didn't need to complain about Jacob. 

She left them to speak in the car, letting Seth drag her around as he caught her up about everything in intense detail. 

And it was fine, great, the situation they had set for themselves, hanging out in LaPush again was pretty nice. They studied together, took cute little walks, hand in hand, until Jacob was ready to talk or willing to follow them around as Roman was forced to make an appearance at work. 

It was wonderful, magical, because Bella was really her girlfriend and she wasn't afraid to tell people. They would steal shy kisses when they could, pressing together when no one was there to see, and she wondered if the eagerness behind every embrace was because she couldn't do this sort of thing with Edward -- the wolves often implied that it was the case. 

She didn't care what they said or how they said it. She would hit them with the truck too if they kept it up, making these little comments to tease her when Bella wasn't around. At least Emily was at her defence. The woman knew that she loved Edward just as much. 

The aura of the love and contentment was something she would never get used to as Bella no longer clammed up and hid at the thought. 

It was nice, a dream, and of course, it had to feel like it was ending, a looming sense of worry that ate at her from the moment she opened her eyes. 

Bella was waking slowly, eyes fluttering as she stirred, reaching for Roman. They claimed all the time they spent together was to make the packs job of keeping them safe easier, but they both knew it was a lie. 

She was such a beautiful sight, such a stunning person, that Roman was always captivated by everything she did. Bleary and sluggish, Bella still made her heart skip a beat, but this morning it couldn't distract from the dread that filled her the closer it got to readying for the hunting party. 

Going out in the woods today was a terrible idea. 

They dressed in silence, moving around one another like magnets as they readied and ate a small breakfast. It was early but not so much so that Bella couldn't go to Jacob's just yet. No one wanted her in the house alone. 

Bella drove her, promising to be there to pick her up when she was done. It was domestic, comfortable. Her cheeks warmed at the care in her words. 

Early, they parked hesitantly in the lot, not wanting to get out of the semi-warm cab and face the few people that had already arrived. Chief Swan was already there, speaking idly to Marnie. Neither of the girls wanted to face that just yet. 

"You'll be careful, right?" Bella whispers. 

She swallows thickly, eyeing the trees that used to make her feel at home. "Of course, and I'll watch out for the wolves. I won't let them get caught." 

"That's not what I meant."

"I know. You don't have to explain it to me," Roman mutters, scared to break the silence fully. "I'm scared too." 

"Victoria's dangerous, Roman. I don't like the idea of you going when she's out there." 

"I'll be protected. You have to trust the wolves." 

Personally, she didn't like the idea of depending on them for her safety, still a little put off by the giant animals, but she trusted the people that they were to watch out for her enough to keep them safe. 

The red truck disappears once she steps passed the treeline with the hunting party. She watches the colour as it goes, fear striking back through her. 

She trailed near the end of the party, following along the worn path with this type of calculated manner as she watched Harry direct them one way or another -- dashing paw prints away with a swipe of his heavy boots, dirty like her own and nearly as expensive.

They weren't going in the right direction, all those instincts that led her one way and another showed that the wolves were everywhere but where the hunting party was headed.

At her side Harry hefted his gun to sit more comfortably against his shoulder, Roman rolling her eyes at the thought of him carrying that thing around knowing he would never actually use it to shoot one of the pack.

She watched as he bent over again, finger tracing the indent in the soil before he swiped it away, peering over his shoulder to check if anyone saw him. Her lips pinched into a thin-lipped smile, more of a grimace than anything, as she wondered why he bothered coming when she was more than capable of leading a fake trail for the party. Harry was getting old, not as strong as he once was as she remembered what he was like as a little girl. No longer could he lift Leah and her up onto his shoulders and dance around all silly, nor could he set chase after the three as Roman hid them behind trees or stuffed them into closets. Harry Clearwater was old now, not as capable as he once had been.

"Everything all good, Harry?" Charlie called out, startling the man.

Harry nodded. "Yup."

The sheriff kept moving on, directing people around them. He turned back, looking to her in her gentle green coat and the flashy orange vest she wore over it for off-trail excursions and safety purposes. "Which way should we be going then, Roman?"

The girl made a show of digging out a map and trailing a gloved finger over the places she knew were not safe for them to go. A staged glance to her compass and she was guiding them north-east, away from all other activity that she knew could be found in the other sections of the forest. They were heading closer toward the dead space between Forks land and La Push, the space that she knew the wolves would never truly go to occupy if given the chance.

"The hiking trails thin out in that direction. They haven't been in much use for the last years," she tells them vaguely, earning an appreciative nod from Harry.

Stomping through the undergrowth like they were these baby animals that had no clue to stealth, Roman continued to hang back as she followed with swift, silent steps.

It continued like this for the rest of the day, the same procedure as the hunting party tried in vain to find the wolves that wouldn't dare expose themselves as Roman only led them further out of their reach.

Neither she nor Harry ever expected the sudden arrival with a flash of red that dropped before them -- grinning like it was this feral thing.

Her heart slammed fiercely against her ribs, her breath suddenly coming in short, and Roman was very afraid of the woods and this fiery woman that was hunting the girl she loved.

She took a step back, a hiss passing through her lips as she slipped on the slope behind her and landed harshly on her back.

There was something about being human that could never truly compare to anything else, something in the way fear was capable of gripping you so tightly in the face of danger and how only few were truly able to go beyond the way it held you. There was something to be said about humanity, in the way vampires held it still but never in the same way as before. Roman wasn't sure what she could say for herself at that moment, as she watched the one they told her was Victoria grip Harry by the front of his jacket, pulling him off the ground by a singular hand without any show of strain.

A cry caught in her throat as she scrambled forward, a hand reaching out to him almost desperately. "Harry!"

He was dropped easily, the redhead turning to her with a snarl and Roman was sure the earth was swaying beneath her feet. Her heart would burst, surely, as she was prey being stalked in plain sight knowing she had no hope of escape. 

A hand was in her hair, gripping her ponytail and pulling her up with a yanking motion that she was certain was going to rip her hair out. Her own hands flew to her hair, grazing over cold fingers to twine within them as she tried to anchor herself back into place.

"I've seen you before," Victoria hummed thoughtfully as if she wasn't already completely aware of what she wanted to say. "Around that human girl I hate so much."

"You know her name," Roman snapped despite herself and the situation. Instinct drove her to defend Bella, to protect the girl even if only in name

She was pulled higher, Victoria drawing her face close to her own and Roman could almost see dark specks that swam amidst the ruby red that mocked her. 

Then she felt him, like a snap in her mind as she was thrown back against the slope, grunting when her back hit harshly and knocked the wind from her. 

Rustic brown, familiar eyes, Jacob twisted and turned as his jaws snapped and teeth clinked with spittle flying all over -- working to catch hold of Victoria that danced out of his reach. He didn't spare her a glance as they both ran off, disappearing into nothing as they moved at incredible speed. 

Jumping up, Roman stumbled her way to Harry, hands fluttering about him as she tried to work out what was wrong as he gasped and clutched helplessly at his chest. 

"Charlie! Charlie!" she cried, hearing her voice wobble as it projected. "It's Harry, Charlie. Something's wrong!" 

Hands worked quick, forcing open the heavy jacket as she mumbled repeated reassurances. She jumped, a frightened little thing when she was pushed out the way and someone was working in her place, applying compression's to his newly exposed chest as he spoke into his radio in rapid codes that she couldn't really understand. 

Ambulance. Heart attack. Forest. Location. None of it mattered as Roman sobbed once, mournfully as she watched Harry still, some part of her knowing that it didn't matter as he went off somewhere she couldn't search for him. Twice, when she realized it was her fault for leading him into the forest when she knew it was so unsafe, letting them go so deep off-trail without argument. And the uncontrollably, when she realized that she too had almost died, that it could have been the both of them, that she had tried to protect him and had failed so miserably to help the man that was always asking for the best trails to reach his favourite out of sight fishing grounds, looking to her for help in covering the trails he told her weren't safe. 

She knew these woods weren't safe. Everyone kept telling her that they weren't but she was the best tracker, wasn't she, the one they looked to when it came to navigating the forest. 

And Harry -- Harry was her father's best friend, a man that took up the slack and filled that empty hole in her life when he was constantly on tour, never returning or going out of the way to speak to her or send her letters like he does her Marnie. 

Harry was the only father figure she's ever had, the only one she's ever needed, and she should have known better, should have felt her coming or done something more to help him. 

She sobbed for Sue and the loss of her husband. For Leah and Seth. Harry's was more to them, belonged to them, before he ever could her. 

Her mind screamed, thoughts roaring, throwing accusations as she cried, whimpering into her hands as she watched Charlie sit back covering his own tears with his hands as he lost his best friend. 

Somehow they had gotten someone here to take him away and she followed blindly behind the rest of the group as they backtracked. Her mother had shown up and she led them back to the parking lot slowly, knowing that they were all in the same daze. Marnie was distracted too, likely preoccupied with the thought of breaking the news to her husband. 

How terrible that her mother forgot that she was here. That she was just as important. 

How could her mother always forget when she needed her most? 

It's Charlie that gets her into his cruiser, coaxing her in with gruff words and she obeys them stupidly, unhearing. 

He brings her to his house, letting her inside before telling her she could stay as long as she needed. He had things to do and Marnie would have paperwork and her apartment would be empty, haunted, and she didn't want to be alone. She wanted Bella, she wanted safety and comfort and the feeling of love that the girl provided. 

She couldn't stomach the image that was stuck firmly behind her eyelids, burning into her brain. It didn't leave when she forced herself to shower, mixing her tears with the steaming water, and it didn't leave when she crawled under Bella's covers in a pair of mismatched pyjamas. 

It was useless, burying herself under blankets, she couldn't make herself warm no matter what she did. 

Rain slashed against the windows and she jumped, wondering when the downpour had started and if that was why there was a chill in her bones.

Maybe it was just her sadness, her despair that beat her down. 

"Hello?" a melodic voice called and she sniffled, shifting so her head poked from under the covers. 

Legs curled, pulling inward as she held her breath, terror sitting on her lungs. Victoria's voice had been just as pretty, just as sweet. 

Unnaturally still and white with large black eyes, it was strange being reminded of how utterly beautiful they were after so long. It was strange that she had managed to forget. 

A croaking sound climbed from her sore, hoarse throat in a mock whimper. "Alice?" 

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Hello!! So i've decided that i would do harry's death as done in the movies because the book death just horrible and unnecessarily mean. i personally think this is much better. 

also,,, just a reminder. Roman really doesn't know everything about vampires or wolve yet and she's mostly just going along with things as they come up or she's just going to freak out and lose her shit... she will eventually lose her shit about everything. 

unedited

2019-11-03