It's hot, far too hot, and Roman felt like she was suffocating under that heat. Sweat tickled a path down her neck, moving through her hair. She groaned, pulling her cheek from the burning stone it was resting on.

But it wasn't a stone. It was smooth skin that gave a little under the push of her fingers as she struggled to right herself into a seat position. Each movement made her body scream in protest. She kept at it until she was squinting at Seth's concerned puppy-eyed expression.

Then her mind caught up and she was jerking away, throwing herself to the cold floor as she drew in harsh, shuddery breaths.

She had ditched Marnie in Alaska, somehow found a way home, then showed up at Jacob fucking Black's house a crying mess because she had no clue what else she was supposed to do.

Because of course, she was her own brand of stupid that didn't know how to screw her head on straight after one little thing goes wrong. 

How utterly mortifying!

"Roman! It's okay, you're okay!" Seth kneeling in front of her quicker than she could see. "Just breathe! Deep breath!"

Mimicking his inhales and exhales, she doesn't take her eyes away from her hands as they work open and closed around thin air. He was such a calming presence like solid earth and support.

"What happened?" Embry asks gently. She had forgotten he was there.

Picking at her bottom lip, she tests the words on her tongue, speaking them aloud more for her own benefit than anyone else. "My dad's a vampire."

It breaks them into a controlled sort of chaos that gravitates around her, repelled only by Seth's strong stance at her side.

"Tell us happened, Ro," he prompts and she finally turns to face him. He really did look so much older.

Her thoughts finally catch up to what she must have unintentionally realized and horror washes through her. She couldn't believe that she had missed Seth changing into a werewolf. What sort of person was she to just inconvenience everyone by running off all the time? The must hate her.

"Ro..."

"Marnie took me to Alaska. That's where he's been stationed all this time," she says mechanically. "He was standing casually in the airport with bright red eyes. I left a few hours later. They wanted to play pretend."

"Maybe he just wanted to get to know you!" Seth offers with false optimism. She smiles bitterly at the attempt.

Shaking her head, she bites down bitterly on her lip. "They wanted to turn me into a vampire so that we can all be together as a happy family forever."

Seth trembles, heat around him rising. Uncertainly, she presses a hand on his arm, nervous as he slowly gains control again.

"You didn't stay to be with your family," he whispers, sounding so small and fragile, that Roman throws caution to the wind as she grabs at him, hugging his now much bigger frame tight.

"My family is here. All my important people are here. I wasn't going to be stupid enough to throw all that away for a man that never wanted me," she comforts, carding her fingers through his hair.

He wraps her up in arms too long to match her memories but it's better somehow, an embrace that holds her together.

There's a noise outside and then Jacob is gone, the other two boys bouncing off after him.

Curiously, Roman looked to the open garage door, not quite understanding the way Jacob vaulted to the entrance and his friends lingered not too far behind him by the opening.

It surprised her further when Seth stayed firmly planted at her side, sticking to her like she was ready to crumble if she felt so much as a gust of wind against her skin like she was a frail castle of cards. She wasn't sure how exactly she was meant to feel about it, but it wasn't bothering her very much in the end. He was comforting, keeping her from breaking apart on Jacob's grease-stained floor.

Following behind them slowly, she catches sight of the tail end of a heated conversation before Sam comes forward looking the perfect image of the strong, determined leader.

Heat at her back tells her that Seth had followed, the eager boy that he was. She drinks his comforting presence in and uses it as fiery confidence. She wasn't alone, at least not yet.

It was hard to tell what he was thinking by the deep furrow in his brow.

She stepped up anyway. "I hope you understand why I had to go," she says. "because I get it now, you know, the urge to do everything and anything for them. It's not the same by any means, but I really do get it."

"Jacob made it out to be incredibly dangerous."

She winced. "It is, I think. I left before I actually saw them."

"You left her?" Jacob demands.

She rolled her eyes lazily. "I'm a coward. That's sorta my staple."

"You aren't a coward! Shut up, Jake!" Seth snaps, inching his way forward.

Blinking, she leans back, unsure how to deal with an angry Seth. She had never seen him yell at anyone other than Leah and it had never been like this.

"Enough, Jacob. Not wanting to die isn't the same as being a coward," Sam says.

And she wished it was as simple as that because then it would be acceptable. No one wanted to die, after all.

"I wasn't scared to face the Volturi. I was scared to face Bella and Edward. That... I just wasn't ready for that."

He nods, as if it's s the simplest thing isn't he world, and somehow it felt like approval despite his obvious hate of vampires. It probably was, knowing him. And the acceptance was much more important to her than she thought it would be.

The people she cared about opinions mattered a lot more than some man she didn't know.

None of the boys showed any sign of out I right disgust and it only made her heart soar higher — lighter than ever before.

"The Cullen's are all back now," he says instead. "Someone less biased will need to speak to them on our behalf. I would send Jacob to speak with Bella but he hasn't been speaking to her."

Embry and Quil snicker, mumbling something about their friend that has him jumping at them.

"Jacob has been obsessed with Bella lately. It's all he thinks about," Seth supplies quietly causing the girl to crinkle her nose.

She didn't really blame the boy. Bella's amazing.

"If you're going to do crazy things, you might as well have a strong purpose for them," Sam adds, ignoring the wrestling boys. "The Cullen's will keep you safe in their side of the treaty line. Do remind them about it for us."

It's phrased so strangely that she's struck confused for a moment, unsure what exactly he wanted her to tell them. It probably wasn't necessary to remind them of the treaty when —

Smiling softly, she hopes across he distance and gives him a brief hug. There really was no reason to head over to the Cullen's house but it gave her an excuse so she didn't show up a stuttering, stammering mess. It gave her focus so she wouldn't crash her bike.

Because she was an idiot that forgot that she rode her bike here and now had to take wit back.

In the dark.

"You can stay at my house tonight!" Seth jumps in, bouncing around her so he stood in her sight of Sam. "It's too dark for you to ride home now."

The unspoken worry about her wellbeing was poorly hidden. She smiled at him.

"I should probably talk to Bella, though."

"Talk to her tomorrow. She'll be home. Charlie grounded her pretty bad."

Eying the boy, she follows his sheepish gaze to a pink Jacob. She bites back a laugh. He won't speak to her but he'll get Billy to pry for info. Honestly, she couldn't get over how similar the pair of them were turning out to be when it came to the girl of their shared affections.

"We have a lot to talk about," Seth continues, softer, timid, compared to his usual cheer.

Straightening herself, she faces him seriously, brows furrowed as she takes in his shy eyes. "What's up?"

"How much did Emily tell you about imprinting?" He starts.

Roman isn't sure how long they sat in Jacob garage, just the two of them, as he explained everything and anything about the wolves, spilling to her all his secrets and fears as he tries to reason the connection he feels to her now from simply looking into her eyes.

He says it feels a little like magic and she's inclined to believe that it's true, that creation of soulmates couldn't be scientific no matter how it's explained.

And it is a little like magic that the way she had felt for him before, the protective sisterly affection, is magnified by his quiet truths.

He had already knew all the important things about her and all the little things that he's picked up over the years, and even with the time spent apart, Seth was still the boy that acted as her brother because having two sisters was better than one. He had been the one shining beacon of honest optimism that she could tell all her problems to. 

So it made sense, at least to her, that Seth would have some sort of brotherly claim to her. She didn't mind. He had always been supportive of her and what she wanted.

Nothing had changed by that extent, he was quick to reassure. Seth didn't care that she was in love with a vampire. He still wanted her to be with them both if it made her happy. 

Roman was just happy nothing had to change. That he still cared for her the same and Sue still welcomed her into her home with open arms.  

As she fell asleep on the couch, knowing that Seth was creeping around the corner so that he didn't have to stay far, she found that it wasn't so bad knowing that they turned into giant, terrifying wolves. She had never been afraid of the people, only the sharp teeth. 

Morning was like any other Saturday morning at the Clearwater residence. Sue made a huge breakfast that both of her kids devoured with little restraint as she was left to guard her grape jelly toast in case one of their hands wandered. 

The familial comfort filled her with complete and utter joy. Seth's continuous babble and repeated attempts to include her in the conversation made it feel like she belonged even with Sue's silence and Leah's passive hostility -- which, thinking about it, she needed to fix because she wasn't going to be able to get on with such a tense relationship with her friend. God, she didn't want to imagine what Leah might think of her after everything. 

Dressed in some of Leah's old clothes, she waited as Seth continued to find a reason to stay with her instead of going to meet with the others at Emily's. It was cute how he continued to worry, kept to come back to Forks with her. 

She wished it was that easy, but totting a werewolf around wouldn't get her on the Cullen's good side. 

"Go to Em's," she encouraged. "I'm sure you have a lot that you want to tell them about." 

"What if something happens to you on the way back?" he helpfully points out. "You're riding your bike all the way back." 

Chuckling softly, she messes his hair. "Nothings gonna happen, I'm sure. Someone is normally doing patrol, right? And Alice will see if something was to go wrong, so everything is going to be fine." 

"Just make sure to call, okay? Victoria is still out there." 

"Stop talking or I'm going to be too scared to actually leave," she jokes, nudging him with her elbow. 

"Good! Stay!" 

Laughing, she takes up her bike, adjusting her pedals as she tugs her gloves on. "Go to Emily's, I'll see you later, I promise." 

He stands there pouting as he watches her leave, standing until she turns from his street and speeds up, getting into the groove as she warms up. 

Taking it slow, leisurely, Roman gives herself the chance to think over everything she was going to do and say when she saw them. Not so much a plan, no, she wasn't letting herself plan anymore, but she organized her thoughts so she didn't stumble over herself and choke. 

Knowing herself, she was likely to trip and bust her head open because it felt like she hadn't seen them in forever -- that was true for Edward's case, at least. 

She would make a fool of herself if she didn't have a quiet mind. 

It was a steady, calming ride. Soothing. And Roman hadn't felt so relaxed in days. It was something she needed, clearly, that made her feel much like the giddy, excited girl she was before all of this had even started. That was good. It was really good. 

The Swan residence was a happy spark in her mind that brought a flicker of warmth flooding through her, chasing away the chill from the bike ride, and Roman had to force herself from the seat to the door. 

She was going to knock, ring. She was. Roman just needed to sike herself up. She needed to do this, get this right.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Roman raised her hand to knock but the door opened and a blur of pale skin and brown hair jumped out at her, arms tangling around her neck and tugging on her hair. 

She tripped, toppling back. Roman landed hard on her back, a weight settling on her chest that knocked the air from her lungs. Pain flared along her back, gasping as she tried to blink away the dark spots that danced across her eyes. 

"Roman! Oh god, Roman! Are you alright?" Bella moves around, shifting her uncomfortably and her hands grabbed at her hips, pinning her in place. 

Her legs were on either side of her thighs, hair falling around her in a curtain. 

"I'm sorry, are you okay?" she worries. She prods gently at her lip. "You're bleeding, again. I thought you weren't supposed to bite them  anymore." 

Tracing a finger along her jaw, she slowly cups her cheek. "I love you," she breathes before she seals her lips over Bella's and it's all points connecting, realigning into place. 

She tastes of orange juice and happiness, of love purest, and she drinks her in, filling her lungs with all that is Bella. Soft, plump lips that filled her veins with fire that threatened to melt her away. It was like kissing the sun, radiant and powerful, that warmed her skin, dosing her in fullness that made her feel like she was home. 

Bella groans, tilting her head as she kisses her deeper, tongue prodding shyly. Roman complies with a small hum, lips parting so she could taste all of her. 

Pulling away abruptly, Bella gasps, fingers wiping at Roman's lips as her eyes slowly flutter open. "What?" 

"You're still bleeding," she whispers, showing her red-tipped fingers. 

She could see the stain on Bella's lips,  smear that trailed near her chin, that lessened the striking rose of her cheeks. 

"I'm sorry," Roman breathes. 

"Why are you apologizing for bleeding? It's not a big deal. Come on, let's see if you need stitches, again," she teases, helping her to her feet. 

Groaning the whole way up as her back protests, she put a hand to her hip as she leans on the other girl's smaller frame so she could stretch. That was gonna hurt in the morning. 

"There is no way that you're getting me into the hospital today," she grumbles, holding her gloved hand to her mouth. 

"As long as we can talk properly, I wouldn't care," Bella comments bitterly. 

Mouth dry, eyes wide, she can only follow behind her slowly as she's led inside to the kitchen table -- the same chair that has become hers unofficially -- and it's like nothing had ever changed.  

Bella freezes, eyes on the stairs behind them and she can't bring herself to turn around. She knew it was him, every part of her screamed that it was, and the hairs on the back of her neck rose the closer he inevitably got. 

"Hold your breath," Bella is quick to say, "Roman's bleeding."

"I see that." His voice sends shivers down her spine. "Let me see."

"What? Are you sure?" 

"It's fine. It doesn't bother me," he says and her eyes slam closed. 

Her chair is moved with stupid ease, turning her so that he was unnecessarily close. He's cold and she moves her hand away before he could touch her. She might implode if he touched her. He was right there, right in front of her, and her thoughts were all over, heart fluttering in her chest. 

"Carlisle would want to take a look," he says. "There is a lot of preexisting scarring already." 

Roman swallows thickly. "Yeah, it's a really bad habit." 

"Great. You can tell me who's clothes those are on the drive," Bella states.

Peeking up, she bites back a laugh at the situation. "Are you jealous?" 

"You're always jealous," she shoots back. Roman nods in acceptance, not even bothering to deny it. 

It takes her a moment to summon the courage before she looks up at Edward and it nearly knocks her off her feet all over again. He was a stone Adonis, the lone sculpted figure in the hall of her heart. There was only ever going to be room for two. 

"Can you give us a minute, please, Bells? I would like to speak to Edward." 

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unedited 

2019-11-07