Time flies when you're with the ones you love. A painfully true statement that takes Roman by surprise all the same when Bella checks the time and realizes that it's almost her curfew.

They had spoken of Italy and what had happened when they split, of Alaska and the spiral of an event that turned out to be that led her home and then to LaPush where the imprint and all that it entitled had to be gone over for purposes of clarification, which then turned into a recap of major events for Edward of the time that he was gone — including mental pictures from Roman because he could hear her thoughts.

It was lovely and wholesome until Bella decided that it was time to speak with the whole family, gathering them together as Roman sat uncertainly at the bottom of the stairs.

Carlisle nods toward her. "The floor is yours."

"Well," Bella says. "I hope that Alice had told you everything that happened in Volterra."

"Everything," Alice assures.

"And before that?"

She nods.

"Good. So I have a problem," Bella starts, confidence strong. "Alice promised the Volturi that I would become one of you, and I'm sure that's something we would all like to avoid. And so, this involves all of you now. I won't force myself onto any of you -- it isn't fair. This affects you just as much as me, so if you vote no I guess I'll go back to Italy myself. Either way, I won't let anyone hurt you."

Edward rumbles with a growl a few steps above her. She has to keep from spinning around to face him. She wouldn't be able to handle the dark metallic anger in his eyes.

"Just a minute," he says and she shrinks down into the steps.

"Shut up," Bella hissed.

"I have something to add before we vote," Edward continues, ignoring her as she glares up at him. "There was something Aro didn't consider when they made the plans, and that is that they are overconfident and reliant on their gifts. Do you remember Demetri?"

"What about him?" Bella snaps, clearly not enjoying his attempts at swaying their opinions.

"Well, when we were there I took the time to pick their brains for anything that might help save us, learning as much as possible. So I saw how Demetri's gifts work. He's a trick, a million times better than James ever was, but it works a lot like how mine and Aros' talents work. He picks up the... essence? The flavour of someone's mind and latches on to it."

"You think he won't be able to find me?"

He was smug. "I'm sure of it. He relies totally on Demetri's other sense that when they can't find you they'll be helpless."

"Great. What of when their search leads them to Roman or Charlie?"  Bella presses, tone shifting to something deeper as she argues.

As must as she wants to disappear, she can't stop thinking of Demetri and what he could do. Finding someone with the utmost certainty like that, to be so confident in your tracking skills, Roman wondered if she would ever compare in the barest bit to what he could do.

She was already good, incredible even, but it would make nothing until the end if she couldn't put it to good use. At least she was able to find Bella without any special gifts.

"I would find a way to keep you all safe," he shoots back.

Bella meets her gaze with an exasperated roll of her eyes. "Fine. You heard both of our sides. Let's vote."

Facing Edward fully, Bella looks expectant, hopeful. "Do you want me to join your family?"

His response is immediate. "No, definitely not. Not like this. You're staying human."

"Alright," Bella says, turning away as if it meant nothing to him. "Alice?"

The petite vampire skips forward, spinning Bella around in a hug. "I already think of you as a sister. Yes." And then the girl is sitting on the stairs, pushing into Roman's side as she stares forward with a glazed gleam in her eyes.

She wants to ask her why she was so close instead of moving back to Jasper's side. Why it felt like this was for her benefit more than anything else like she was being coddled or something. She didn't need to be soothed or babied because Bella thought it was a good include her in something like this. It was nice that she was involved like her presence mattered enough to make a difference when it really didn't.

Leaving so she could avoid this awkward experience would have been wonderful if it wouldn't be so embarrassing.

"Jasper?"

The blonds smile is crooked. "It would be nice to not want to kill you all the time."

"Emmett?"

"Hell yeah!" he crows. "We'll just have to find another way to pick a fight with this Demetri."

Alice's head snaps his way faster than she could believe. Roman nearly jumps out of her skin. "I might have a way," she says cryptically, low enough that Bella doesn't seem to hear. 

Gaping at her, she only hears the rest of the conversation as she moves along the room, too focused on Alice's smug sort of contentment as things seem to fall into place as she expected it to. How much could the psychic see with such clarity that she could know how an entire instant in life was going to play out to the exact second?

It must have been boring to live knowing how things were probably going to turn out.

There's a furious snarl from behind her and spins, watching wide-eyed as Edward stalked off. There's a crash followed by the sound of shattering.

"Roman?" Bella asks, ignoring him as if it was nothing.

"Huh?"

"Your vote?" she asks softly, taking her hand with a soft press of fingers.

Mind blank, she shakes her head quickly, mouth opening and closing soundlessly. "I-I don't... my opinion doesn't, uh, it doesn't matter what I think."

"Of course, it matters," Bella whispers, leaning in closer. "My future with you is incredibly important to me."

Her eyes sting, welling with tears. "I think that if it'll make you happy, then you should be allowed to turn for whatever the reason. You'll make an exceptional vampire, Bella."

"You make it sound like you don't plan to be there."

"I'm just not sure if things are going to turn out the way that you want them to."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Shaking her head, she nods to the others. "Aren't you in the middle of something?"

Sighing, Bella shoots her a look that reads we weren't through with whatever this was. She stands, facing the room. " Thank you. For wanting to keep me. I feel exactly the same way about all of you, too."

"You would make quite a remarkable vampire, as well. I'm happy that you stood your ground with your father," Alice comments quietly, eyes still distant.

Breathing deeply to clear her head of emotion, she smiles shyly. "It was your words that gave me the push I needed."

"You're very self-deprecating, you know. You should be nicer to yourself."

"I'm plenty nice to myself," she protests.

"You underestimate yourself far too much," she says. "Let yourself deserve things. You'd be surprised what could happen."

"You could always just tell me what could happen instead of always being so suspicious."

"Well, Alice," Bella says. "Where do you want to do this?"

The vampire stares, eyes widening in terror, and she feels like she's mimicking the expression.

"What?" Roman chokes.

"No. No, No, NO!"

Wincing, she shrinks back, sidling into Alice as the bellow thunders through the house, the windows shaking with the force of his rage.

How was he capable of being so terrifying?

Edward comes storming back into the room, moving to tower over over Bella with this shake to him as if he might snap. His sister lets her shrink into her side, hiding as much as she wanted to disappear.

"Are you insane?" He shouts. "Have you utterly lost your mind?"

"I don't know if I can," Alice interjects. "I have to prepare for something like that."

"You promised."

"It doesn't have to be right now!" Edward hissed darkly.

Shuffling down the stairs, she bounced in close, pulling Bella around so that she was forced to face Roman fully instead of continuing on her hunt for vampirism. She was determined, a bloodhound on the scent, and things were seriously going to get out of control.

"Okay, now is not the time to do this, Bella. You would have a curfew. Think of Charlie! You would have to leave because he isn't allowed to know, right? You won't be able to see him again," Roman tries, not really persuaded herself by the weak argument, but it was enough to keep her attention with the shake of her hands and the tremor of her voice. "Let's just take this slow? A little be more time wouldn't hurt, right? For Charlie? And Renee. Jacob. For Edward. For me?"

"In the interest of keeping things inconspicuous, I vote that we put this conversation off to a much more appropriate time," Edward adds lowly, angry still. "Like after graduation. You can say you're going to college."

Roman nods. "That's reasonable, Bella."

"Fine. What about you? I know you didn't plan to go to college," she diverts her agitation.

"What about me?" She asks slowly.

"What would you say, Roman? Because I'm not going anywhere without you. I thought that was what you wanted."

The room was suddenly very empty, she found, when it was just the three of them in this bubble of negativity. There wasn't a way she could explain that she didn't plan to become a vampire without making herself out to be self-sacrificing when it really was about her place in the relationship that she simply didn't have. If she said it any other way that she didn't mean then it would sound like she detested the idea of it when it was turned onto herself.

It was like she had to break the news to her, that things weren't going to be how they thought when it was just the two of them fantasizing about it in such simplistic terms and ideals. Nothing ever was as you dreamed it would be, a Roman knew, life had a way of screwing things over.

"I am not going to go with you when it's time, Bella," she says slowly. "Not unless I'm wanted by everyone like you were."

"You are wanted. I want you to come. We're a package deal now."

"No, you two are the package deal. We aren't all on the same page. He doesn't love me, Bells, so I'm not going to force myself on him or make you chose."

"I wouldn't ask you to leave, Roman, you mean too much to Bella to force you apart," he says, voice a lot softer and gentler than before.

"Shut up," She breathes. "That's not the point I'm trying to make."

"Is that why you've been acting so different?" Bella marvelled, acting like it was the simplest thing in the world. "Roman, you just don't see how amazing you are. How can anyone not love you?"

"What? You're being ridiculous. Let's just go before you get in trouble, alright? You can continue this at your house."

"You're not going to stay over?" Bella asks.

Her gaze jumps to Edward over her shoulder, questioning. She wasn't sure if she wanted to go back to Seth's today. That was too much biking. And she would probably need to check-in at the station since she was here.

God, how utterly ridiculous was it that she was actually here right now, talking about this as if it was the most simple thing in the world. She couldn't stand the thought of disappointing either of them but she felt she would never be able to amount to any of there expectations. They looked at her with such emotion, she might crumble under the weight of it like a frail little flower.

"No. I'm going to go home and give you guys some much-needed room to talk. Edward, if you would?" Roman motions in the general direction of the door before going off without them.

Proud that she hadn't turned into a puddle of goo under such a simple request, Roman was going to stand her ground until everyone had their shit together. Because her shit was together for once and she was just waiting for everyone else now, which was super cool.

Roman was a super cool chick.

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this chapter actually makes me want to throw up its so bad. also,,, i've decided to just have the eclipse and breaking dawn chapters in this book so its gonna get really long my dudes.

unedited

2019-11-08