The press of his cool hands against her cheeks was comforting to her burning skin. She was hot, so very hot, and no matter how much Carlisle told her that it was natural for some pregnant women to get heat flashes and heartburn, Roman could only glare at Bella and the way she was covered in thick blankets.

She was cold, her body turning frail, and she wasn't much better except she felt like she was burning half the time.

His hands smoothed up to cover her eyes, easing the pounding that beat behind her eyelids, and she melted further back against him, hands falling to rest against her ballooned stomach.

The distressed moan that he let out comforted by Bella as she pats his knee.

Her wife read in between her naps and eating. They couldn't manage to get her to keep anything down, no matter what they tried.

It wasn't quite like that for Roman, exactly, she craved red meats, rare, and those she always managed to keep down, miraculously, but she was sick often enough that no one really thought much of it.

"Do you want some water?" Rosalie asks gently.

"No thanks, I'm good."

"You haven't had anything to eat today, love," Bella adds, the couch shifting as she reaches across the save to her. "You have to try something."

That gives her pauses as she thinks back to her last meal. It was sometime last night when she woke restlessly wanting lucky charms and chocolate milk. None of it had stayed down and the taste of metal was still there, but it was the best she had ever tasted.

"Not hungry," she mutters, drumming her fingers over her stomach.

Edward moaned quietly from behind her, a tortured sound, and she hummed gently. She wanted to comfort him, tell him that it really isn't his fault, that he shouldn't be so sad. He didn't deserve to be so miserable over their decision.

"You want another steak?" Bella asks, her tone hopeful.

"It's not like you aren't eating, Bells," she says, rolling her eyes under his gentle hands. "It didn't make much of a difference if it rarely stays down."

"At least I'm trying to eat."

"I'm trying just as well as you are."

"Then have something to eat."

She groans, the taste of iron already heavy in her mouth. "Yeah, fine, okay."

Edward relaxes some, his relief instant. She felt terrible, like the worst person to exist because he was suffering and she could see it every time that she looks at him.

He was a man haunted, his eyes a mix of defeats and wild desperation. They didn't look very well, she knew that much, but he was faulting himself for that fact. He was miserable thinking that he had done that to them.

And she felt horrible knowing that he was blaming himself, but Roman wouldn't change her situation for anything.

Her little Bean was there, here, and she wouldn't do anything to change it now that she had the chance.

She was idealistic, optimistic and a true romantic at heart. In her dreams she was always with Bella and Edward, she was always with them happy and in love, and before she knew that he was a vampire she had always thought of them with a happy little family.

Dreams change and she changed with them, but now that she had the chance, nods that she had the opportunity to have the child that she always wanted with the people she loved, Roman couldn't love to regret a moment of it.

And not only did she get one baby, but now she has the chance at two. The little Bean and Nudger.

She had never thought it presumes to love anyone more than she did her husband and wife, than she did Seth, Leah and Sue, but here she was now and her heart had never been more full than at this moment.

It was a matter of trust, of certainty in Carlisle, that she knew that everything would be fine and she would be allowed to hold her baby even if they were all under the impression that she was going to die.

Honestly, it wouldn't be the first time that her life was threatened and it wasn't likely to be the last. She was fine with her little Bean threatening, they didn't mean to hurt her.

Little Bean was already forgiven and Edward would forgive them the moment he had a chance to meet them.

Just as she had already forgiven the little Nudger for what they were putting Bella through.

There's a bump against her ribs at the thought, gentle all things considered, but Roman still gasps softly, her hand coming to press against her side as if she could rub the ache away.

Edward moans mournfully, a sob almost clear in the sound.

"It's fine. I'm fine," she reassures, extracting herself from him the best she could so that she was resting against Bella as lightly that she could. "They're just moving a little."

Carlisle sighs, motioning for her to lift her shirt and she does so with a pout, revealing her ribs for him to see. His cold fingers soothing against her heated skin.

He doesn't say anything, doesn't make mention of what she wouldn't be able to see without a mirror, and she isn't sure how exactly she wants to take it.

"They've been really active, too," Bella mentions quietly as she places one of her hands over Roman's stomach. "I like to think that they can sense each other and that's why they move at the same time."

Her smile is so wide that it hurts. "I like to think Bean is just trying to comfort me. They're growing so quickly that I wouldn't be surprised if they were a little special like that."

"I hope not," Bella whispers, arms protectively curling around her stomach. "I wouldn't want them to hear what they're saying."

"If they can understand, Bell, then they'll be able to see why the others feel that way," she says, brushing a hand over her belly.

Edward falls to his knees before them, head buried between their legs. She tangles her fingers through his hair but doesn't move to comfort him.

Rosalie fluttered nearby, bringing them both something to eat as she moved around Edward like he wasn't even there.

The steak was bloody, just as she's been craving it, and she tore in like a ravenous animal, eating as quickly as she could before the taste of metal burst across her tongue again turning the meat into bland dust in her mouth.

What she really wanted was potato salad but there was no way that would stay down.

Bella drank her soup that was nothing more than broth as she watched Roman tear into the meal, tongue swiping out to catch a drip that caught on her lip.

"Want to try?" she offers, holding a relatively small piece up for her to eat.

She takes it and bites down before anyone can tell how much of a bad idea it was, ignoring Rosalie as she hovered with the small basin in hand. Her moan as she chews is all the encouragement she needs to cut her another piece, feeding her wife happily as she gets out of eating it herself.

"How have I never tried it like this before?" she says, opening her mouth for another piece.

"Not sure, babe, but it's it great?"

Edward sighs, looking up with haunted eyes. Roman sighs, cupping his cheek to have him look up at her. "Babe, please get up," she begs softly. "This isn't healthy for you."

"Healthy for me? Healthy for me!" He asks hysterically, a hand scraping down his hands. "Look at you, Roman! Please, reconsider this. Please don't do this."

"We talked about this."

"Just let Carlisle help you, he'll take care of it."

There's a harsh nudge against her stomach at his words, her shirt shifting with the hit, and Roman scowls at him, cradling her belly to shield it from him.

Rosalie is coming between them the moment she moves, pushing her brother away as Bella makes soft noises of protests as Edward just lets himself be moved and manipulated.

Exhaustion hits her just as suddenly, her energy and good mood fleeing in an instant as she can barely bring herself to hold up the fork.

"I- can I go to bed?" she whispers, looking to Rosalie hopefully.

The blonde agrees, knowing that the rest was best for her at the moment. Esme comes, helping her to the guest room that they often put Seth in, the thought alone soothing to her as she reaches for the bed and cuddles into her pillows.

Esme doesn't leave just yet as she sits at her side and rubs her back with slow circles. "He's just scared."

"I know that and I don't blame him, but he's not making any of this easier. I already feel terrible as it is," she mutters.

A cool hand reaches around her to rest lightly against her stomach. There's a soft nudge.

Roman smiles sleepily. "He likes you."

"He?" Esme asks, voice just as quiet.

"Don't tell anyone but I think Bean is a boy," she mumbles, brushing a hand against her skin. "I kinda want a boy. I already know what I would name him."

"What would you name him?" her question is spoken with a teasing lilt.

"It's a secret so you can't say," she whispers, "but I've always wanted to have a boy names Romulus, it was a tradition in my family, but I have a name for a girl too. Masen. Do you think they'll like them?"

"Oh, Roman, dear, I'm sure they'll love them."

"That's good. I don't want to tell them yet. Edward isn't ready to hear them."

"He would listen if you wanted to talk about your child, Roman, and Bella would be delighted to know."

Roman hums noncommittedly. "I'll tell him later. He still hates my little bean."

She doesn't answer right away and if she didn't know any better then she might have thought that she might have fallen asleep.

It didn't bother her, the silence, not when she was so tired now that she had to share what little energy that she had these days with her baby. It seemed like her streak of hyperactivity that she had on the island was taking turns with this bone-deep exhaustion that she wasn't sure how to deal with.

"Edward doesn't hate the baby," she eventually says. "He's more frustrated that he isn't sure how he can help you."

"I think it's more than that," she says. "I know I'm not as smart as the rest of you, but I can tell that he hates the little ones. I don't blame him, he thinks they're killing us, but he does hate them. He'll change his mind soon; when he sees that everything is going to work out he'll be just as happy as we are to have a bigger family." 

"You're very smart, Roman, very smart to see the good and the hope when there doesn't seem to be much left." 

Snuggling her cheek against the pillow, she make s a small noise as Esme caresses at a particularly sensitive spot. "What do you want your grandmother name to be? I think it's only fair that you get to pick first." 

"Why don't we just let them choose instead to see what they're comfortable with," Esme suggests, the emotion in her tone giving her away. 

She knew how the others were turned, knew the stories behind them all, so Roman knew how devastated she was to lose her child. It made sense that Esme would defend them and their right to have children.

To lose your baby was something imaginable, something heartwrenching that never wanted to bear the pain of. 

Roman would rather die than be forced to abort her bean because now that she had them, she couldn't imagine a world without him. She wasn't as strong as Esme, she wouldn't be able to live through such a loss. 

If she was to die in childbirth, she knew that Rose, Esme and Bella would be there, that Edward would come around and love bean. 

But to lose them? To be without him? She couldn't stomach the thought. 

"Bella's decided that she wanted the classic mom and has assigned me mamma. I really like it. Do I look like I would be a mamma?" 

"It would suit you well," Esme says simply. 

Roman falls asleep to the gentle sound of her mother-in-law's voice, the graceful, chiming voice bringing her sweet dreams.

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next chapter should bring you your scheduled breaking dawn content babes

unedited 

2020-03-29