Flames ripped through her, searing veins, tearing her from the inside. Fire hotter than even that craved a path, racing ahead, stealing away any thoughts, any sense of self.

She didn't know who she was, didn't know what was happening, but she was drowning in a sea of lava, sinking towards death. Roman had no sense of self, no idea what was happening, and she just wanted to die.

But each time she fell to the darkness she spat back out tossed back to the pain that only grew hotter and hotter, doubling with each frantic beat of her heart.

There was no relief as the eternal flames burned on.

Screams sat on the toll of her tongue but her jaw clenched and fear that she might bite her tongue kept her mouth firmly closed. It didn't prevent the whimpers from slipping through as the pain spiked.

Time made no sense here. It could have been a second. It could have been years.

Roman wished it was all over. For it to burn out our claim her, she didn't care. She wanted it to be over.

Her mind was numb off all reason, of all cognitive thought. She wanted to disappear, to cry out and rage — to claw at her skin to free herself from the flames, to set them free so they weren't talked within her veins setting her slight with endless pain.

It feels her hands and feet, shuddering through her and it was like slowly pulling herself from hell while the white-hot inferno raged angry and unrelenting.

Roman tried to remember what she had done to deserve this, why this was harming, but it came to her only in shorts bursts of memory in between darkness and fire.

She wanted this, she tried to remind herself, whispering the words before she was lost one more. Her weak mind claimed she would wake loved, that she would see why it was worth it all when it was over, that she needed to hold on.

The frantic race of her heart, the frightened thrum, made her worry it wouldn't last so long as to fight the fire that fight its way to consume it. Flames would arrive when it was too late. There would be no live prize for it to claim.

She couldn't live through this, couldn't survive. It was so hard, so terribly hard, and the suffering just simply wasn't worth it. She cried, screams burning her raw where they were trapped in her throat.

Slowly, the flames released their hold on her body, pulling away, pulling inward. Her body was released in increments, noting the eventual passage of time that, the mark of change. She hoped it meant she would be waking soon as she ran from the fire -- chasing the memories that kept her sane.

It wasn't like seeing your life flash before your eyes. It was like a pool of everything that she had ever done, of every moment she had ever lived, all at once.

She was in a sea of memories, an ocean of feelings and emotions that she couldn't reach through the thick water that boiled and burned her every touch -- lava around her that smothered her lungs leaving them dead and useless.

There was no distraction, not even when her body was free and she was allowed to claw at her chest, her skin that contained the heat impenetrable.

Her screams were drowned by the roar of her heart as it fought the flame but she could feel them in her throat.

Each time she tried to quiet her pain, the blistering heat turned hotter, smothering each reminder of why she shouldn't let her torment echo free. There was no sense, no way for her to make out what was real.

Her hearing got clearer and clearer, heart fighting to survive the waves of death that came for it. Roman could only try and spoke back her screams as she heard voices around her, soothing the best they could.

Waves of soothing calm blanketed her, covering her veins that were felt icy numb from the moving fires. It was relief that came to douse the inferno too late, but it kept her from thrashing. It did nothing to ease her torture.

Twenty-one thousand, nine hundred seventeen and a half seconds later, the painchanged.

It was freeing her, bunching together in one spot. She couldn't breathe as her lungs held the fire and her heart exploded. Her throat burned, ripping out her soul before she was slammed back down.

Her heart stuttered and finally, it died.

For a moment, she could only register the absence of pain.

Then, she heard everything all at once, the world striking her altogether. There was hushed talking downstairs, whispers as someone argued with another. There were heartbeats that she couldn't register. There were people standing near her.

Roman's eyes snapped open and colour flooded in on her, sharp and bright, new.

Everything was so clear.Sharp. Defined.

The light above her was blinding, and yet it didn't stop her from making out the specks of dust that caught the in air.

She tracked the dust motes, searching the air and following it to the books, able to see every dot of ink that was missing from the well-worn spines and the glossy covers that filled the shelves. And then she was tracking them the other way, movements quick as she was on her feet taking in those that stood across the table from her.

Her actions were ridiculous, she understood that, but she couldn't help the part of her that screamed she needed to determine whether they were a threat. She waited, deathly still, and then Jasper moved and she caught his scent.

Roman breathed in sharply, the action comforting as she took in the smells of the room.

Bites that riddled his exposed skin spiked him as a threat, a top predator that she needed to decide if she was to take out or keep as her ally.

Because there was something that she needed to protect, her mind whispered, something that wasn't herself.

The line broke and she caught sight of bright red eyes. She was so different, yet just the same as always. So beautiful and remarkable. Bella, her dead heart sung, her Bella.

"Roman?" her wife asks softly, voice chiming like angels singing. "Are you alright?"

Edward was behind her, inching to get around the smaller girl but she stood steady, refusing to move.

It made sense. Roman was the ultimate predator. She was always going to be the ultimate predator and something told her that it wasn't her pride that made such a claim. It was instinct, something that she would always know without a doubt.

"Roman, love? I'm sorry, I know it's disorienting. But you're all right. Everything isfine," Edward spoke in a slow, calming tone.

Her tongue flicks out, swiping over her bottom lip in an action too quick for her to acknowledge. "I know. Why are you looking at me like that?" She tilts her head, listening to the way her voice sounds so unlike her own, so alluring and sweet, but almost entirely unchanged.

"You're acting very different compared to Bella when she woke," Edward explains, slowly stepping towards her with fluid, precise steps, as if she would bolt if he came at her too quickly.

She appears in front of him before she has time to think it through, blinking up at him with an easy smile. "You're beautiful," she says, taking in deep breathes of him as she memorizes his scent.

"You have not seen yourself," he tells her, holding his hand up to her in question. She takes it without hesitation, basking in how normal his hand felt now. No longer cold.

There were arms around her, squeezing her tight, but it didn't hurt. She did tense, however, at the sudden action, but she knew, she just knew that it was safe, that Bella with all her strength couldn't hurt her.

No, they were hers. They were here to protect, hers to hold. Forever.

That promise suddenly made everything so much clearer, made so much more sense.

She never wanted them to let her go, but a burning in her throat picked up, drowning out all her sense and everything was suddenly so much sharper.

A hand flutters at her neck, teeth clenching to bite back the hiss of air that fights to escape her.

She was a newborn vampire now, the thirst ought to be overwhelming, but Roman let that fade to the back of her mind as she focused on what was important to her right now, the things that she wanted to know.

Because there were people missing that were meant to be here and it sent her instincts screaming at her to focus, to pay attention. Her mind sharpened, the heartbeat downstairs sounding out. They were there. She knew they were.

"No, not yet," Edward says, catching wind of her thoughts easily. "It wouldn't be safe for them."

She does hiss this time, snarl forming on her lips as she faces him. "I want to see my baby."

"He wants to see you, too, Roman, but you should feed first," Alice says, poking her head out from around her mate. The mate that was still tense and watching her.

It was difficult to figure out how she wanted to place him when he watched her as if waiting for ht imminent attack. She figured that she would have felt much the same if she was faced with a newborn.

Then the words register and her anger washed away. "He?"

Bella hugs her tighter, nuzzling her face into the side of her neck. "You were right. It's a boy. Romulus."

"He doesn't like to go to anyone other than Seth and Esme."

She makes a whining sound at the back of her throat. She wanted to see him, see them, more than anything. And Renesmee. She wanted to see her sweet son and daughter right away.

"It won't be safe until you feed, Roman. They are part human," Edward says again.

Groaning, she forces them away from her and stalks to the window, throwing it open much harder and faster than she meant to. The thud makes her wince.

"Wait, wait, you're not going to fight anymore?" Bella asks, already behind her, ready to go.

"The sooner we do this, the sooner I get to see Romulus," she answers, swinging a bare, pale leg over the window sill.

Bella giggles, touch lingering, and she burst with warmth at the feeling, love spreading through her unabashed -- and oh, they still needed to talk, didn't they?

But now it seemed like they truly didn't, like it wouldn't be necessary, because it hadn't been like this before when all the love she had for them was amplified and Bella looked at her with such affection and unabashed feelings.

"Why are you in such a hurry to leave, though?" she asks, continuing with her questions. "Don't you wish to say hello to the others?"

She shakes her head. "Eat. Romulus. Renesmee. Seth. Hellos."

"That's very direct."

Nodding, she doesn't move away from Bella's grip that keeps her in place as she scans the trees. She can see them all so clearly, right there before her like a map unfurled in her mind, her inky pen strokes marking out a path before her -- tracking a few moving targets circled over and over, her own handwriting marking symbols that she understood as animals, writing which ones she knew the precise spots and which were only ideas.

If they left now she might be able to track down that fluffy, white-tailed deer that was walking the treat line -- a familiar path that they worked this time of year. It was likely a young doe looking for her first den to pass the winter alone.

Or they would be swift enough to get that black bear that was roaming further and further away.

"Her mind is working in interesting ways," Edward comments, pressing a quick kiss to her temple. Fire floods through her for a brief moment, cutting through grief nerves, and she tenses for half a second. This wasn't like the fire from her nightmare.

"I told you she was going to be a tracker," Alice says smugly.

"It's more than that," he says and her gaze drifts from the window to look at him and his golden eyes. "There is a map in her mind with paths that lead her to the things that she wants. Brighter they are, the more she desires it."

A smirk fights its way to her lips. "I told you that I always find what I'm looking for."

Bella's laughs is bright, twinkling. She leans into her magnetic touch.

"How do you feel, Roman?" Carlisle asks, finally speaking up.

"I feel fine."

"How are you managing the thirst?"

She hums, doing on the feeling when it comes to her immediately. "It's excruciatingly when I allow myself to focus on it."

"How are you not focusing on it?" Jasper finally speaks, authority in his tone making her skin crawl.

"There's something I want more."

Edward smirks. "It's the classic mindset of a tracker. I'm not surprised."

"Ro's always gone for what she wanted and taken action to get it even if she had to wait," Bella says, lips brushing her bare arm.

"Fascinating."

"Yes, may I leave now? I want to see my children."

Alice jumps from behind her mate, walking out with a mirror in hand. "You have to see yourself first!"

"Is that necessary?"

"Of course!"

The girl that stared back was almost a stranger, one that was vaguely familiar and she would have scoffed if she didn't know for sure that it was her.

Her hair was shorter, a mix of light and dark that framed her face filter than it had before. Her skin was clear, flawless, and she felt a pang of loss at the lack of freckles. The scars at her lips were gone, replaced with fullness and a colour that was more alluring than before.

And her eyes... gone was the blue that she had lived her whole life, replaced with a darkening crimson that taunted her.

Roman nods and hands the mirror back to Alice. She didn't want to look at herself right now.

"Can I leave now?" She asks.

Alice huffs, crossing her arms. Edward chuckles.

"Whenever you're ready, my love."

Turning to Bella, she catches the girls nod easily, and without a backwards glance, Roman drops from the window and launches herself toward the forest.

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It's a bouncing baby boy!! If y'all follow me on instagram or are aware of some of my drafted books then there might be a bit of a teaser for my little dude.

Unedited

2020-04-04