I open my eyes, becoming mildly annoyed when I discover myself in post-op; I recognize the room. Moaning, I shut my eyes. Here's hoping this will be the last time I see this room.

"Hi."

I look over to my left where the voice came from. To my complete and utter astonishment, it's...Well, it's Jake. It's Jake! And he's sitting on my bed, smiling at me.

"Fuck, am I dead? Did I die on the table?"

Jake laughs and shakes his head. "No. I promise you this is real, Tristan."

"W-what are you doing here?"

He continues to smile at me. "Well, I was hoping we could talk. It's kinda way overdue, wouldn't you say?" 

~

I'm standing stage right behind the curtain. Gloria is besides me. We're obscured from the audience. My arms are crossed and I'm grinning ear to ear.

The stadium is completely full. It's a sold out show. Jake is plucking at his bass guitar off to the side, making extra sure it's in tune. Ben is twirling his drumsticks in between his fingers. Amy is going to enter on the other side of the stage so she's not in my line of sight. Orion is besides me, jumping up and down, getting himself psyched.

He looks at me and grins. I can't help but laugh. He looks ridiculous but I love it.

"Ready?" Orion asks, bouncing around to face his band mates.

They both grin at him. Their energy is intoxicating and quite frankly contagious. As they take the stage and I watch Orion throw his arms out, electric guitar hanging off him, and the crowd goes absolutely nuts and starts chanting, I get it. I totally understand why someone would do this for a living.

I laugh again. He's dressed like a circus master. He's wearing a dark red vest. I've never seen him wear anything but black before, even though the textile barely qualifies as a color. There's fancy black embroidery all over it, making it appear darker. He's wearing a top hat, which he briefly takes off to sweep into a deep bow.

But this is Orion Bauwens we're talking about, so he didn't stop at a costume. He's made himself look like a zombie. It's not completely over the top, but his makeup crew made his cheeks look sunken-in and his mouth look gross around the edges. He's really laid on the black eyeliner, both upper and lower lids.

Ben and Jake are dressed similarly. The duo aren't nearly as over the top, but they still match. Jake even is wearing eyeliner. It's quite an amusing sight to see. And as much as I hate to say it, Amy nailed it with this idea.

"Hi," Orion says into the microphone chipperly, holding it with both hands.

The crowd loses its mind. To his side, Jake runs his hand over the strings, grinning. In the back, Ben stands up and waves.

Orion gives his high-pitched laugh. He looks at Jake and gives a mischievous grin. Then he looks back at the throng of bodies.

"So. How're you?"

The crowd goes insane again, causing Orio to giggle nervously some more.

"S-so. Some things have changed since last I performed."

The crowd is still going crazy. He holds up both of his hands, one of which holds a guitar pick. "Guys! Shh! I'm trying to tell you something!"

The crowd cheers a little quieter, which makes him laugh. He waves his hands up and down.

"Simmer simmer."

Jake says something. Orion holds his hand to his ear, so Jake comes over and speaks directly into the microphone.

"These people are here to hear you sing, not talk."

Orion cracks up and shoves him playfully. "Fuck off," he says, the microphone barely catching that.

"Okay guys, two huge things, and then we'll start, I promise."

The crowd cheers.

"Alright so first off, I'm happy to say I'm in a steady relationship with my boyfriend Tristan."

My jaw drops open. And as the crowd cheers just as loudly as it did when they first took the stage, I can't help as my eyes begin to sting. He didn't tell me he was doing that. And I am not complaining.

Orion looks at me briefly, grinning. At my side, Gloria stands on her tip toes and speaks directly into my ear.

"See? Told ja."

"It's kinda a big deal," Orion continues, hamming it up a bit and acting shy, swaying his body back and forth. I see Ben laugh.

"But enough about me!" Orion says then, dramatically sweeping his arm to the piano that's off to the side. "The piano isn't just there for decorative purposes. I'd like to introduce you to, for the first time, our newest member of the group."

The crowd's enthusiasm picks up again.

"I hope you like her as much as I do. This new album features a piano, played by my wonderful little sister."

The crowd is insane and it hurts my ears.

"I'd like you to give a warm welcome to Amy!"

The crowd somehow managed to get louder. She's dressed like a can can showgirl, fancy, long rippled train and all. It's a deep red that matches Orion's vest, adorned the same embroidery. She's wearing fishnet stockings, arms covered in red opera gloves. Her hair is up and curled, an over-sized red feather stuck in the top. She's put glitter on her chest, and her lips a deep red, but she also looks like a skeleton.

She struts out onto the stage in her black heels, waving and blowing kisses. My attention is drawn to the band as they plunge into their first song. Amy gets situated at the piano, throwing her silky red train over the padded bench, and then starts playing at the appropriate time.

For the entire show I watch in awe. Amy seems really nervous and messes up a few times. Every time she's out of sync, the crowd goes wild, cheering her on and encouraging her. 

Honestly? That's half of the reason I like Saturn Mutants. The fanbase is phenomenal. Of course it happens where types of music seems to suck in the same type of like-minded people. But with the style of Saturn Mutants, with their weird amalgamation of hard-rock meets synth-pop meets experimental rock meets industrial post or nu emo punk...Yeah, they're kinda all over the place.

They're unique. They've been compared to Queen, and Muse, but they've also been compared to NIN and The Rolling Stones. Marilyn Manson has even been thrown around (which is funny, because Orion hates him). Of course there are comparisons to Panic! At The Disco too, thanks to Orion's insane vocal range, but in that same interview they were also dubbed the next Adele on account of Orion's unique, strong voice.

Point is, their lyrics are dark and their sound is weird, and their aesthetic is even weirder. You'd think a band like them would attract a horrible crowd. Snooty, pretentious, and possibly violent. Instead it's a bunch of really sweet people that can relate to the lyrics and prop each other up. Occasionally I'd go to the official Facebook fan page, back before I personally knew Orion, and it's filled with nothing but love.

So I know when Amy screws up and her face turns bright red, they're cheering to lift her up. I highly doubt there's going to be very many comments on social media about how "the new chick sucks!". Sure there will be some, but I know it's mainly going to be stuff like, "I can't wait to see her grow into the position!"

As I think about that, my mind contemplates about the music itself. Now I understand why Orion was so nervous. Besides that one day at the recording studio, I hadn't heard anything. And Orion wouldn't let me hear the album, he wanted to keep it a surprise.

This album is unlike anything Saturn Mutants has released. I'm absolutely baffled--how can something be musically heavier and yet softer all at once? Jake and Orion are really playing off each other with their guitars, entwining the bass guitar and Orion's regular one expertly. During one song they perform a maddening round, and I honestly lose track of who's playing what and when (during that Orion had stopped singing, and they faced each other, looking down at their instruments).

Orion's voice is astonishing, other worldly. He's really testing his vocal capacity, and the payoff is huge. He's flinging his voice every which way, going from his deepest registers to suddenly shifting into his highest falsetto. The lack of transition is jarring, but it's wonderfully jarring. It's impressive. It keeps the listener on their toes. At one point it dawns on me he's basically singing like an opera singer. Like a rock opera singer. Is that even a thing?

It's not just musically they've evolved. Lyrically they've changed, too. Orion has never, ever written anything even close to what could be considered a love song. And while they're still heavy, and they're still written in a very dramatic, violent, analogy ridden manner...If you listen to the words, they're love songs. And it makes me smile.

In the middle of the set, Orion brought out his acoustic guitar and plays Wait. He's decided to have it as a bonus track on the album. Just likeduring  that first performance in New York Ben gives Orion his stool, and just like that first performance the song makes me verklempt.

The last song is the one Orion and Amy had argued about. It's what I can only describe as a show-off piece. It's in minor, and between Orion's off-kilter sing-whining, the fact that it's minor, and the fact Amy is, in fact, playing a theremin, too, well... It's a fucking creepy song, and I love it. It's also impressive that Amy can play piano and theremin at once.

By the end of the show the crowd is filled with such fervor I think the walls might come down around us. As they're exiting the stage Orion takes off his hat and throws it into the crowd like a frisbee. Ben waves and blows kisses. As Amy leaves, though, she's rushing past, her head down.

As soon as she's out of sight Amy bursts into tears and sits on the ground. Immediately we all swarm her. We bombard her with worried questions.

"I'm sorry," she tells Jake, Ben, and Orion, "I fucked up so much. I'm sorry I ruined the show."

Everyone piles in, including Gloria, and hugs her.

"Amy dear!" Orion tells her soothingly, "it was your very first concert!"

"Yeah and I blew it."

"Did you hear that crowd?" Jake grins at her. "They lapped it up!"

"They were just being nice."

"No," I correct her gently, "they were encouraging you because they like you already and they want you to do well."

"Please don't be so hard on yourself," Orion tells her, kissing the top of her head.

"I didn't mean to ruin it for you guys" she says.

Ben kisses her cheek. He gives her a look that Orion has given me time and time again. He loves her. Obviously, I say nothing.

"You didn't ruin anything," Ben tells her, playing with one of her curls. "You never could ruin anything. It's impossible."

Amy smiles at him through her tears. I look at Orion, and I think he's thinking the same thing about Ben's look. Orion smiles at me, a knowing look, and squeezes my hand. I smile back.