YOU ARE A GOODBYE I WISH I HAD NEVER SAID

the last time we talked
runs through my head
the messages, the words,
and the unsaid truths,
I just want one more
night to talk until 3 am
with you about things
we wish to do.
one more night to
remember how it
feels to hold your hand
is it possible to feel
it once again?
i was completely unreal to you
in the end but the beginning
I promise I was faithful to you.
But Today, I don't want you
as a lover. I need you to be my
friend for now.
utterly lost in a world
spiraling like staircases
in my thoughts,
when I heard you
fell for a new girl
I had wished endless
love for you and
to know how she made you
laugh when you couldn't
make it another day.
I wished to be her for a day
just to remember your fingertips.
in a month or so,
these thoughts of you will
crash against my mind
and I'll write about
you again and I hope
it's a different thought.
certainly I'll never
awaken from this misery loveless
fear but my chest
will burst when I find
hope in someone equal to you.
the day you forgive me
is the day I begin again.

you know who you are when you realize you're not always the victim - Pamela x