WE ALL NEED MORE TIME TO HEAL

I shivered in places
I told you not to touch
and whispers in the wind
told me to surrender to selfish hands
begging to touch a piece of my skin.

I ran out of band aids
to cover itching scars
just to bandage the best
damn feeling in the world.

I made holes in my sweater
to stop myself from holding
you but we both knew
I had the urge to hold your hand
in the winter.

I battled wars knowing
I was bound to lose, and lost
myself and my mind in the fields.

I brought back a comet from the
sky just so I could grant you a wish
that I wish I would be able to
keep.

nevertheless, my mind will
refrain from using words
that could make your head hurt
and I'll stop talking to people
who are useless. hopeless. just like me.

a hallowed heart is all that I have
and whoever touches, holds, and loves
my heart, won't be prepared for the worst.

but forever and always,
I'll stay shivering cold and
awaiting for selfish hands
behind those mahogany doors.

because of you, I'll never know when I'll be enough to give myself up to someone else. but it's okay, some of us will always need longer to heal. and I won't hate myself over something I can't control. - Pamela X

Before I love you starts to sound like a lie