QUICK FIX (a note to self)

dear someone who may understand
what it's like to give in quick and
get a good source of relief at any
given moment, dear someone
who might not know when the
time may come but you're already
showing signs, dear someone who
inflicts pain on themselves and doesn't
know when the temptation will stop.
when will I stop thinking about it?
please help me when the time is right.
give me more time before the light
shuts completely off and I'm stuck
in the pitch black abyss of hell.
Dear someone who knows me very well
dear someone who has no idea of
what I speak about, dear someone
who won't turn their cheek on me
when my hope is completely shattered
and broken. when will it stop?
when will I stop crying? or better yet
caring? please show yourself
instead of keeping me in the dark.
Dear someone who has every right
to keep me away from sharp things,
dear someone with luminous eyes
and stars in the skies, dear someone
who wants to see me live more in life
rather than shut me out of it.
when will it stop? when will I heal
and my bleeding will bandage itself?
when will my heart beat the same as
it did?
Dear someone with God in their heart,
dear someone who brings joy back
into my eyes and a smile that reaches
my ears, dear someone who has my
love.
When will I finally be proud of myself?