- "all I knew is that I was scared."
- "scared of what?"
- "dreaming."
- "when I was 15, I went to school with zero sleep in almost three days. It felt like and I think I looked high but I wasn't. I just didn't want to close my eyes and go back to the state of seeing a monster haunt and touch me in ways that wasn't allowed."
- "but you weren't just scared of dreaming you were scared of living too."
- "Yes, I hate looking at myself. Sometimes it would just be the way my fingers rubbed together or it would just be the way skin looked in the mirror. Then I felt my body and mind not belong to me anymore, I just felt like I was losing myself and sinking back inside a little empty space and letting whoever wanted to use or break me down have its way."
- "Alice?"
- "Yeah, she was just an alter ego. It was like Alice in Wonderland but inside of my body. They would tell me I am not Pam, but I knew I was. I just wasn't entirely myself."
- "are you Pam?"