NOTORIOUS

it started again,
the itch and the constant
walking over to the bathroom and
staring at the sink -
tapping my fingers on a slow tempo
water dropping on to the white sink
and crying out for another mark
on my wrists
can I stop this madness?
when all I do is surround myself
in darkness and sadness to
cover every inch of my hurt
what will happen
when I finally move on
and find something
better to do with my time?
but I can't stop the thoughts
when I'm in class and I
feel as if I said something wrong,
or how I feel trapped in when
I think of thoughts no one would
understand because
this is what makes me who I am,
and unfortunately I can't change,
but I'm a jagged little girl
with a soul whose trying
to find the truth of time.
These thoughts will
soon find its way out of my brain
and I'll never be the same without
the pain.