ISSSUES AT HAND

for a writer I haven't experienced much,
all I've done is break my heart over time
and let my depression eat away at me
I sit and watch life pass me by
when I could be trying new things
and exploring new
drugs sex and men
but i'm a little five year old girl
trapped in a sixteen year olds body
who complains to others in order
to feel as sane but receive nothing
except a rushed goodbye.
and I sleep for hours
after crying
about things
I don't understand
and won't try to.
The stubbornness
I have gotten won't
allow me to move from the
very things that cause harm to me.
I need a new choice of friends,
a new choice of addiction,
I need a new somebody.