HUMMINGBIRD

you-
it's always down to something
about you and my solemn blues.
if it wasn't for you,
I wouldn't have known
that the moon changes faces
and that I don't like being
in small spaces.
I would still wear pig tails
and not ask how long
this class is.
but then again-
you made me realize
loving myself was not enough
but making myself forget,
the whole moment in time,
has made me appreciate
how much my happiness means
to me and everyone around me.
no more inevitable faking
or shaking when someone touches me,
- even if I stopped when I
found myself forgiving you
in the midnight nightmares-
but one day I'll find you
and it won't be in my dreams
it will be real life again
and I'll let you take me
for as many times you want
and try to remember you.
But I promise to love the aftermath
of goodbyes and unfaithful
heart ships when it's no longer
dark blue in my brown eyes.
If it wasn't  for you,
I would have never found
the joy of writing or how to
tell the truth with my eyes.
I'm not running anymore
after fighting hard against you
and your hands.
It's always going to be you.