HEAD START TO HEAVEN

God, is it alright to forget?
forget a parent? forget a gene?
forget what it was like to
have two parents and not one
even if I only ever truly had one?

God, is it okay if I speak true
in writing? is it okay if I only
search for you when I feel like
crying? is it possible to stop
thinking about countless
imaginary memories ?

God, would it be alright if
I begged for a strong shoulder
to lean on? would it be healthy
for me to be disappointed and
morose all the times I've felt
like ending my life?

God, would it kill for you to
keep my momma safe while
she's away from all the pain?
would it hurt me to tell her
I love her when her heart falls
a bit weaker and obey what she says?

God, could you stop taking away
the last good set of angels?
could you listen to me and
stop forgetting my existence
is true when I'm only weak
in thought but strong in
words?

God, if i searched for you,
would you really show you
exist? could you tell my pain
isn't a fake when I'm crying under
neath my moms pillow case?

God. If I said I believe,
can you start with my life again?
or maybe take me away from this place
because even darkness seems
a bit better than being taken away
to somewhere I can relive my dreams?

God, could I trust that you'll
understand where I'm coming from?
where I am is where you begin.