DESERVE

you are completely off limits
and I continue to chase even when
you turn me down
but I like it,
I want it,
I love the feeling of rejection
when I know you can't stand me.
my breath hitches, and my hand shakes
while you smile as you draw her, and
kiss her when I dream of you.

you're completely off limits,
even if I know this, I want
badly to trace your tattoos
and bite your neck when
I'm laying closely next to you.

you're enemy territory,
the war inside of me
when you're with her
and not with me sets
fires on trees and the desire
to rescue you instead of
myself is the warning
God signals to me
because even He knows
you're no good for me.

I'd like to be my old self again
where I didn't beg for your attention
or fight anyone else for it,
but I'm still trying to find her
back when I never gave a damn
about attention and love
the time I used to stay up until Now
four am crying over nightmares
and going to school without a problem.
I never want you to know
that you're the worst boy
I've ever came across,
yet the most important one
to teach me a lesson
about what infatuation does
to a teenage girl like me.