3 months later (4 months till prologue) 

Three months. It's been three months since Steve last saw Natasha. He hasn't gotten any message telling him that she was okay, or when or if she was coming back. It was killing him. A part of him was lost with her. 

He tried his best to keep things... normal. But how can you do that if the love of your life is alone in the world in pain? But he couldn't spend every minute of thinking of Natasha, or else it would send him in an endless cycle of pain. 

It was Saturday night, and he would go to Clint's for dinner with the rest of the Avengers. Every week they continued to have dinner together, they used to have it once a month, but when Natasha left they did it every week in case she showed up. But they all knew she wouldn't. 

Steve arrived and when he pulled up in his car he stayed outside just staring. Everyone else was there from the looks of it. Steve couldn't bring himself to leave the car though, these dinners were getting harder and harder. He missed her. 

Coming to these dinners were also a very painful reminder that she wasn't here. He sat there thinking about where she was, or if she was okay. He sent her the usual text. after the first month, he started texting her every day just asking if she was okay, and where she was. Of course, he never got any response. 

Finally ready he walked into Clint's house, and the smell of steak found him. Clint's specialty and Steve's favorite. That meant something was up. Clint only made his steak for the group when he had to tell one of them something. 

"Hey Steve," Tony said raising his beer when he saw him walk in. 

"Tony," Steve answered. Now Steve wasn't the best at reading people but he could tell that Tony knew something that he didn't. 

"Come on, Clint's waiting for us outback," Steve followed Tony out of the house to where Laura, Bruce, and Clint were. In the distance was Clint's kids. 

"Steve," Laura greeted with a smile. "Nice to see you again." 

"You too Laura," He smiled. 

"Same as usual?" 

"If you don't mind," He answered and Laura smiles leaving to go get plates for everyone while calling in the children to wash their hands. Steve eyes scanned over the guys and put his hands on hips. "What? what is going on?" 

"Nothing," Clint answered all too quickly. Steve frowned at his friends, trying to read their faces just like Natasha had done all too often, he, however, couldn't read them as Natasha could. He was having a tough time and he really didn't want to find out that there were secrets his friends were keeping from him. 

"Just spit it out would you?" Steve impatiently. "I may not be a spy but I can tell when someone is hiding something from me. I know you will tell me eventually so just tell me now." 

"Steve, maybe we should just enjoy the evening," Bruce suggested. 

"No, guys we agreed no more secrets no matter how little. What's going on?" He repeated. The others looked at one another then Tony made a jester to Clint to talk. Clint sighed running his fingers through his hair before talking. 

"Last night, we got something in the mail," Clint started. "It was middle of the night but an envelope was left on my porch," Reaching toward the table where he picked up an envelope. "I opened it and it was a letter from Natasha," Steve could have sworn his heart stopped. 

"Wha- uh- what did it say?" He asked changing his posture to cross his arms in front of him. 

"It didn't say much, just told us to call off Fury's search to to find her, which I didn't know he was doing, but I guess she assumed I did. Which means she trusts me less and less," Clint sighed, he was Natasha's best friend and to think that she was losing her trust in him was a lot to take in. 

"Did she uh saying anything about me?" Steve asked worriedly, "Even if it is just a smile detail?" 

"Well she did, I just don't know if you want to hear it right now," Clint said.

"Maybe Bruce is right, we can still have a nice dinner before we tell you," Tony suggested and Clint and Bruce nodded. 

"No, if this involves my wife I would like to know now," Steve said not letting the topic go. Sighing, Clint reached into the envelope pulling out a piece of paper. Steve looked at it, but the archer made no move to give it to him. 

"Are you sure?" Clint asked giving him one last time to back out of this. They all knew Steve wouldn't be staying for dinner if they read him the letter. 

"Yes I am sure now can I have the letter?" He asked in frustration. Clint nodded and handed a separate letter from the original to Steve, keeping the envelope to himself. Steve carefully unfolded the letter and saw Natasha's pen perfect writing lacing the page. Steve moved away from the group to sit on the stairs that led to the grass, off the porch. He took a deep breath before he began reading. 

Dear Steve, 

I gave this letter to Steve for a few different reasons, I couldn't go back to our house, and quite frankly I wasn't ready to see you. I knew I could drop it off at Clint's without being noticed because Clint is a deep sleeper. 

So I don't really know how to begin this letter, without saying we need to talk. I can't really talk with you in person because it hurts too much and looking at you I'm reminded of the constant pain running threw my blood. What I do know what to say I that I have been thinking about us a lot lately, I used to think we would be together forever. But people change and so do the circumstances. 

We fight all the time and it's only hurting both of us. I think it's time for us to realize we are both very different people, who were brought up in very different ways. We just don't understand each other. They say opposites attract, but I think we are just too different.

I am writing you this letter because I know I can't say this to you in person. We have been married for two years. We can say we had a good six months out of our entire marriage. 

If we are both being honest, we have only been hurting one another since we got married. You still won't open up to me about whatever it was the was bothering you, and now this. I just can't do this anymore. We have nothing to show for this marriage. We are only putting ourselves through the pain now. 

Before anything else, you were my friend. I don't want to lose that, but I can no longer say I look at you and see the man I fell in love with all those years ago. You were the most important thing my life, but after we married I didn't feel like the most important thing in yours. Maybe we were just not meant to be. We will always be kindred spirits. 

I will always care for you, and to show you how much I care for you, I am letting you. You deserve a whole lot better and I believe I do too. I love you, but it's not the same anymore. I hate to do this over letter but it had to be done. It wouldn't happen any other way. 

I have filled for divorce your answer is required before the end of the month and we will move from there. In four months we should be signing the papers. Please don't make this harder then it has to be Steve, we both deserve better. 

Sincerely Natasha

Steve couldn't move. His mind was completely frozen after reading the letter. Everything seemed to fall apart these last two years and he couldn't stop it. 

It was like when he first woke up from the ice. He had no control and was just falling, but now it was only worse. He lost something- someone very important to him. He lost his wife, a woman he thought he would get to love forever the moment he put that ring on her finger. 

It was nothing like losing Peggy all those years ago. They didn't have a chance to fall in love, but he did with Natasha, and man did he fall hard. He never felt this way about everything and now he was losing her. 

It only made sense though. He screwed up, both times. She never did a thing wrong and somehow he managed to screw up the most beautiful and pure thing in his life. He was becoming an empty shell of a man. 

"She left these in the envelope," Clint said walking up to Steve with a chain, on it was two rings. Their engagement ring and their wedding ring. Steve felt like he wanted to die.

These rings were special, well, of course, they were but they were insanely special for them. Their engagement ring had been made from the metal of two of his dog tags which he gave to her when they started dating. She was devastated when she thought she lost them, he was still surprised he was able to steal them from her. 

Then there was the wedding ring. Not only did it symbolize their love, but the love of Steve's mother. It was her ring that her mother gave to her, it ran in the family. Apparently, Peggy found it in his stuff when he went under and saved it, before she passed she gave it to him, telling him to find a nice lady and put it on her finger. And he did. Too bad nobody told him how to keep it there. 

"I think I need some time alone," Steve said and stood up. He was blanking and he couldn't think straight at this point. 

"Cap maybe you want to stay the night in our guest bedroom? I don't think you should be driving right now," Clint said trying to stop the Captain as he pushed his way out of the house. Tony and Bruce right behind telling Laura and the kids to go out back, unsure of what was about to happen with Steve. 

"I need to find her," He mumbled trying to get to his car. Everything was becoming blurry and he could feel his heart picking up. He hasn't felt this way since he got out of the ice, and when he did he had Natasha to help calm him down. But she isn't here, you scared her away. Isn't that what you're best at? losing the people you love? The voice in his head pounding his way out and dragging Steve down. 

"Steve doesn't do this, let her have time," Tony tried. 

"Time? I gave her three months and look where that got me! She is divorcing me! Do any of you understand how much this hurts? No, you don't because you both are still married, and bruce hasn't even married. Let me tell you it hurts! It hurts so damn much." Steve was speaking really fast and it was confusing the guys. 

"Steve slow down before you hurt yourself," Clint suggested. 

"I'm already hurt! In the worst kind of pain! I feel lost and I want to go home but I can't because she took that with her too! I can't even blame her because it was my own stupid fault for doing that to her- to us. I ruined it all and I am the only one to blame," 

"That's just not true Steve," Bruce said. "You can't blame yourself." Steve ran his hands through his hair in a frustrated manner. 

"I can blame myself, because I lied twice, and they were a big deal. I don't know how to live without. Since we got together she has been ...my world, I revolved around her but the world kept trying to get in my - in uhh my way and it worked!" His hands fell to his beard. "I- I didn't even choose to grow this! She did because she- she liked it! I can't make these decisions..." His breaths were becoming uneven and everyone's voices sounded echoed. 

"We can help you figure this out," Tony suggested. 

"There is nothing to figure out! I have to learn to live with this because it's what she wants... what she wants" He repeated,  " and maybe once in my f*cking life I can... that I can... can do something right by her. She deserves so much better than me. I am too broken for her." Steve looked down. "She-she... always thought she was the broken one.... but she can be fixed, I'm way past that." 

"Maybe we should go sit down," Tony attempted to reach for Steve's arm when he violently pulled away from him causing him to stumble. Steve help his head as tears began to fall. He couldn't breathe properly. "Steve!" Tony said as he heard the captain gasping for breath and clawing at his chest. 

"Steve look at us," Bruce started. "Please don't fall asleep." 

"I need-" 

"What do you need?" bruce asked as Tony called Fury asking for medical. The captain could barely breathe and was crying very heavily. His eyes were slammed shut and weren't letting any of them touch him. Slowly he began to lose consciousness and fell to his side. The last thing he remembered was watching the guys frantically getting his attention. His eyes fell tiredly and he whispered out something or rather someone. 

"Natasha." 

Please leave a comment and vote!

What do you think so far? We are nearing the divorce! 
Steve has three months until that meeting, can he do anything to stop this divorce from happening?