FIVE MORE MINUTES.

That was all I needed.

If I could have five more minutes, I'd ask for nothing else in this life.

Five more minutes of Zoya's body tucked close to mine, her hand flat on the small of my back. Five more minutes of knowing the feel of her skin against my lips.

Five more minutes of pretending she was mine.

But the problem with asking for five more minutes was that I'd suffer in the long run. I'd live with this knowledge and I had no doubt it would slowly ruin me.

Perhaps the ruination would come quick.

Perhaps it was better that way.

I'd always done well when I knew the suffering to come.

My law school roommates were my seniors and they'd been an excellent resource for previewing my future misery.

It'd helped set my expectations.

If someone could tap me on the shoulder or send me a text message about how much my life would suck when these five minutes were up and the pretending was over, I'd appreciate it.
Always good to know the range.

I shifted, putting a bit of distance between us before this situation turned sour and Zoya had to force me off her.

But she trapped my hand on her waist, saying, "Don't go anywhere. Don't stop. Not yet."

OKAY. GREAT. I'd suffer while hearing that in my head and imagining the scent of her hair for the rest of eternity.

OUT-FUCKING-STANDING.

"Can I have a frozen lemonade now?" Cheeku asked, her arms around my neck. The beads from the bracelet she'd made last night-because Zoya wore bracelets and we were obsessed with Zoya-pressed against my clavicle.

It was enough to remind me in loud, screaming letters that I had a kid and I couldn't fuck around just because it felt nice.

But god help me, I really wanted another minute or two of this.

Of Cheeku , safe and secure on one side of me, and Zoya snuggled up on the other.

It was like we were living a carefree life, the three of us out for a high school football game without any worries in the world.

Except none of that was true and this fantasy was seconds away from disintegrating in my hands.

"Yeah. No problem. Do you want to get it yourself?" I asked Cheeku .

She shook her head against my shoulder.

She didn't like me picking her up.

Apparently it was too babyish and, as I'd been informed several times, she was a big girl....20 kilograms and all jumpy.... Big girl.

She probably hated that I'd picked her up in front of Tanya's nephews too. Any minute now, she'd kick and yell for me to put her down. And I would. Just as soon as I seared every inch of this into my memory.

"Come with me," Cheeku said.

And that was how I bought myself a few more minutes in line at the frozen lemonade truck with Cheeku 's head on my shoulder and my hand holding Zoya's.

It was a pretty cool night with steady breeze.

Lovely for everyone else. I was dying. Burning up, melting down, boiling over.

In all the ways I'd imagined touching Zoya, I never saw it happening here at the high school or while I held Cheeku in the other arm.

When it was our turn, Cheeku wiggled out of my hold to place her order.
She glanced back at me, saying, "Money, please." he teeth showing.

Getting to my wallet meant releasing Zoya and there was a solid moment where I blinked down at my niece and prayed for a better solution to come my way.

In the end, Zoya shocked the shit out of me by reaching into my back pocket, grabbing my wallet, and passing Cheeku a fifty. When she returned my wallet to the pocket and gave my ass a swift pat, I was toast.
JUST FUCKING DONE.

Zoya turned her face toward me, her lips pursed in a smirk I'd always tagged as condescending.
I was probably wrong about that. I needed to be wrong.

"She's still watching," Zoya whispered.
She leaned in...a little too close...

I shuddered, my grip on her turning needlessly tight. I couldn't help it. And though I knew little about internal organs, it seemed like mine were rearranging themselves as my heart tried to break free from my ribs.

"Kiss my forehead," she said.

"What?"

"She's still watching us," Zoya repeated. "Kiss my forehead. Make it believable."

Making it believable wasn't my problem.

I dipped my face, pressing my lips to her temple.
Her hair smelled lovely. I remembered that scent. It had lingered in my car when we were kids. She'd stayed with me even when she wasn't.

I didn't move, my lips on her skin and her body snug against mine.

Cheeku was talking about frozen lemonade, and how this lemonade was superior to everything else,... Zoyaa cheeks and her nose were pink... probably due to the breeze... I nodded, still holding Zoya like my existence depended upon it.

The truth was, it did.

I could resist all I wanted. Fight like a motherfucker. Push her and push her and push her away.

And still, there was nothing I wanted more than this.

"What's the story?" she asked, low enough to keep it between us. "With your friend Tany."

"She's not my friend," I replied. "She's just very persistent."

Zoya laughed, rocking her curves against me in the most delicious way.

This wasn't the time or place to be aroused, but goddamn, I was far past my limits here.

"I'm aware of that," she said. "We had a little standoff in the restroom. I didn't think I was getting out of there without scheduling a pelvic floor therapy appointment."

"A-what?"

She shook her head, her earrings swaying with the movement. They were Butterflies, these earrings. Two extremely beautiful butterflies.

I didn't know why I found that absolutely charming but I did.

"Nothing you need to worry about," she said. "So, what's the deal? Did you ghost her? No, wait. You gave her a night she'll never forget and-"

"Shut up, Zoya." It came out in a rumble, a rockslide of words that left her gazing up at me, her lips parted and her brows arched.

There'd never been a moment where I wanted to kiss her more than I did right now, and I had devoted two years of my life to wanting to kiss her.

Yet this was different. It was so much more powerful.
Truly, a rockslide.

"Wow. When did you turn into a player?" she asked. "Breaking hearts all over town, huh?"

"That's not what happened," I snapped.

"She thinks-I don't know- she thinks we'd suit."

"What an old-fashioned way of saying she wants to get a piece-"

I pressed a finger to her lips. "Did I not tell you to shut up?"

She blinked at me, her brows raised as she silently commanded me to explain.

Before I could think better of it, I left her lips, traced the round of her cheek, and drew my thumb over the crease of her brow. Smoothed out the curiosity gathered there.

"It doesn't matter what Tanya wants because her nephew and her niece have been terrible to Cheeku . They're twins and they're terrible. I know I shouldn't say that about children but, seriously, if you knew the half of it, you'd agree with me."

"What happened?"

"The boy, that little.....Thing, chased Cheeku around the playground on her second day of school with a dead snake he'd found somewhere in the bushes. But she was the one who got in trouble because she elbowed him in the mouth and knocked out a few teeth when he tried to shove it down her shirt."

Her gaze dropped, her lips parted. "What the fuck?"

"Zoya said 'Fuck!!'" Cheeku exclaimed with pride.

"I'm an adult... " It was funny to see her get defensive in front of my little niece.

I nodded as I tucked a few strands over her ear again. The wind was keeping me busy here. I loved it.

"That's how we met. She said the whole thing was a misunderstanding. Her boy was going through a difficult time since his parents got divorced last year. She wanted us to arrange some playdates so the kids could get to know each other. That was her solution."

"What was your solution?"

"I wrote a letter indicating I'd bring my concerns regarding student safety to the state department of education and file a lawsuit if she wasn't moved into another class."

"Was she moved?"

"The next day," I replied. "But the teacher wasn't a great fit for Cheeku .
Just didn't get what she was all about. They clashed from the very first minute. I'm pretty sure she retired at the end of the year and credited Cheeku with that decision."

"That's not great," she murmured. "Were there any other incidents?With that boy?"

"Nothing as bad as the snake situation but lots of reports of them getting into it on the playground. And the girl, I thought she was the good seed in that bunch but that wasn't the case. Never lets Cheeku play with her or the other girls. Always saying awful things about Eva when the teachers aren't around. And that's just the stuff Cheeku tells me. I know there's a lot more. The issue with her hair, for example. She doesn't tell me everything."

"Have you mentioned any of this to the lady lusting after you?"

I glanced over my shoulder and spotted Tanya lingering near the bubble waffle cone vendor. She caught my eye, gave an enthusiastic wave.

"Allow me to apologize right now."

"For what?"

I'd suffer for this. So much more than I'd imagined. But I couldn't care about that suffering when all this sweetness was right here, waiting for me.
I tipped her chin up, slipped my fingers into her hair. Dropped my gaze to her parted lips. "This."
An act that I so wanted to be my reality.

I almost brushed my lips against hers, fast enough for our surroundings yet exactly long enough to ruin my whole life.
I didn't bother glancing back at Tanya again.

"Don't apologize...you didn't even touch my lips.." Zoya said, a laugh in her words. "I can be your human shield any time you need it. I'm down for that every day of the week. You should've told me that was why you were in such a hurry to fake-marry me. You had me thinking you were some kind of Scrooge McDuck, wanting to seize all the land on the rural side of the cove. You could've explained yourself better, my friend."

She peered up at me, scowling. "Please tell me we're good, we're friends. I'm not sure what I did wrong, Adi, or how I gave you the impression that I-"

My thumb landed on her lips... shutting her up.

It wasn't a smart choice, all things considered, but that saved me from explaining my version of our history. Not that she would understand it. I had my reality and she had hers, and I had to accept that those two would never match up.

"What are you doing to Zoya!!!!" My niece is my Crush's biggest bodyguard... I'm telling you... she's on her team... Cheeku grabbed my arms and smacked it.

It didn't matter what happened next. If she disappeared from my life tomorrow. If she went back to Delhi and gave up the tea garden.

Even if she stayed though I could never touch her again.

When I pulled away, I said, "I am sorry."

Zoya shook her head. "Don't be. You can use me any time you need to fend off the thirsty women of Musoorie. There must be dozens of them. I'll break their hearts for you. Destroy their dreams."

"You sound...excited."

She laughed. I felt her warm breath on my neck as she held my hand.
I had to work at preventing my eyes from rolling back in my head.

"When does this game start?" Cheeku asked. Her lips were bright pink when she turned to face us.

She looked us over as if she found Zoya locked in my arms every day. I really, really needed this to not fuck things up for her. "Is it soon? Or can I get popcorn?"

"Did you get any change from that lemonade?"

She shrugged but slipped her hand into her pocket.
Real smooth.

"You have enough for popcorn," I said. "Can you order it yourself or do you want us to go with you?"

Us.
Oh, god. I'd already incorporated this performance into an us. There were so many things wrong with me.

"You can watch me go there," she said, skipping off toward the student council's popcorn stand.

I brushed my lips over Zoya's temple once more. Not because Tanya was watching or because I gave a shit about anyone's opinion.

I did it because I'd wanted to do this since long before I knew what it was to kiss a woman on the forehead instead of the mouth.

"You don't have to stay," I said to her.

"Oh, but I do." She flattened her hand to my chest. "Don't forget. I've met your little girl. I know her voracity. If you think she's not coming up to bat the second I leave, you're underestimating her." She laughed, adding, "And I promised Dhara that I'd come out and do this small-town life thing, even if I hated it."

Who the fuck is Dhara?

"Dhara? What about me? Didn't I say the exact same thing?" I asked.

She put some time into smoothing my shirt. Like appearances really mattered.

And who the fuck is Dhara? Please don't let it be the one from the situationship.

"my best friend," she said, those precious fingers still running over my shoulders and chest, tying concrete weights to every spot she touched before pushing me off a pier. "We've taught together for years.We talk just about every day. She's the mom of our group."

All right. We'll keep Dhara.

"What's the verdict, then?" I squeezed her hand.... She's soft....so soft that I could leave marks on her if she let me.

She wouldn't let me. She wouldn't because I'd never ask.

"Do you hate it?"

"I don't. It's different than I remember. This whole place is different. Actually, it was pretty rude of Mussoorie to enter its cool phase after I left town." She laughed again, the sound pulling at my gut. She made me want to wrap myself around her. Bury myself in her. "Is it different for you?"

"Sometimes," I admitted. And that was the truth. More often than not, I conducted business and lived my life without any of the agony from my childhood. But then there was always someone who wanted to know how I lost the weight (I had no clue; I turned twenty and everything about my body started changing) or if I could recommend the dermatologist who cleared up my skin (same as above) or if I was happy now (not in the way anyone would expect, no, but in other ways, yes). "People make weird comments. They say things that sound complimentary in their head but are like being smacked across the face with a dictionary."

"I don't like that," she said, her words low enough to make me wonder whether they were intended for me at all. Then she glanced up from my shirt, her eyes dark and the crease between her brows deep. "I'll be your human shield for that too."

Too quickly, I said, "No need. I can handle it."

"There's a ton of shit I can handle," she said, "and I'd still love it if someone stepped in front of it for me."

"Like what?"

Her lips pulled up on one side. It was a smirky pout and I wanted to kiss it off her face so hard, my jaw clicked.

"Nothing. Not relevant." She patted my chest as if she was punctuating that statement, ending it with hard finality. "I'll stay for the game. I'll give you some pointers on how to make it look like you're completely in love with me and uninterested in anyone else."

Yes.
Show me what that looks like.
I have no idea.

"You think you can do that?"

"Here's what you don't understand about me: I'm amazing with projects. Give me a project and I'll make it happen, get it done. Like preparing Cheeku for the evaluation coming up. I have a clear, measurable goal, I know how to achieve it, and nothing else matters to me until I make that check mark and cross it off my list."

"And now your goal is convincing people I'm in love with you?"

"Mmhmm. Easy peasy."

Push me right off that pier. "Just for tonight? Or longer? What's the timeline on this project?"

She paused, drummed her fingers on my chest. I had the perverse desire to grab that hand and suck on those fingers.

I MEAN, perverse.

"I am currently operating at a rate of one day at a time. I can give you tonight-"

My body heard something very different from what she meant.
My body had ideas that went far beyond perverse.
It was mortifying, really.

The things I wanted were not simple or pleasant. They were demanding and intense and-and primal.

And if Zoya had even the slightest idea of the images playing in my head, she'd take her lovely-short-brown hair and her schoolteacher bags and run away from me as fast as she could.

And I'd want her to run away.

If she heard even a sliver of the filth in my head, she'd never look at me the same way again.
Hell, I barely let myself think about the things I wanted.

"-and we'll see what the future brings." She drew in a breath and stared into my eyes for a long, silent minute. It seemed like I was supposed to get something out of that gaze but the only thing I could do was study the cute little bow of her upper lip and imagine biting it.

Then, "If that's what you want. I wouldn't want to rub myself all over you unless you wanted it."

Fuck me.

Instead of offering that eloquent thought, I motioned to the trucks.

"What do you want to eat?"

"I'm okay." She shook her head, made a scrunched-up face as if she didn't care. I didn't buy it. "I don't need anything."

"They make great rolls, trust me...they're incredible." I pointed to the closest truck.

"And those guys are barbeque. Exceptional. Best I've ever had. Down there, that yellow truck, they do a variety of noodles but their Potato pasta is the hidden gem of their menu." I gestured to a few other trucks. "There's also the usual suspects. Pizza, grilled cheese, fries topped with things that don't make sense but taste good."

She stared at me, her eyes smiling and her lips pouting.
It was like she was daring me to kiss her again.

"Tell me what you want."
A breath stuttered out of her.

"Wh-what?"

"What do you want?" I inunsiated each word.

"From the trucks. They're going to close up and head out soon."

"Oh. Right. Oh my god, yes, the trucks."

She heaved out a sigh and ran her fingers over my shoulder, down to my lower back. She drew swirls and circles as she hummed to herself and all the tension I'd stored there melted away.

If she could do the exact same thing to my neck, I'd build a shrine in her honor. "I'm not sure. Is there something you'd share with me?"

Only everything in the entire world.

Since my options were split evenly
between confessing that exact thing and leading her toward the closest food truck, I settled my hands on her waist and steered her in the direction of the rools. "Their masala chicken tikka roll bizarrely good," I said. "Same with the egg and curry one, but you can't go wrong with the old favorite, barbeque chicken."

She cut a subtle glance in the direction of Tanya's last known location.

I didn't know if she was there and I didn't much care. I was very busy twisting myself into feral knots over here.

"You should've told me about this little problem of yours," she murmured.

Instead of responding to that, I leaned close to Zoya as I watched Cheeku ordering popcorn.

She carefully counted out her money before slapping it on the counter like she was all in on a poker game.

The kid helping her came around the cart to hand her the popcorn and I appreciated the hell out of him for that because she would've upended the bag trying to reach for it.

It was also a fine distraction from the absolutely fucking gorgeous and kissable and huggable woman holding my hand right now.

"I would've helped," she added.

The issue with this scheme of mine was that I didn't need any help shutting down advances from Tanya. I hated running into her but I could handle it.

That I'd thrown Zoya in front of the problem had been a selfish response.

A knee-jerk reaction though still a selfish one. And now I have my hand in hers.

There was no tidy way to unwind this.

Not that I was in any rush to separate my hands from hers.

"When did you start caring so much about other people?" I asked.

"Is that your way of telling me I was a bitch in high school?" she asked, still frowning and murmuring at the menu.

"That's not what I meant," I rushed to say.

See? Ending this game of make-believe only required me to be myself. Another few minutes of me being awkward as fuck and she'd never want to speak to me again. "What I meant is, you're helping Cheeku , you jumped in to save me, you're-"

"I know, I know," she said with a laugh. "I was just teasing you. I had my self-absorbed moments. My shallow moments. I was a teenager who lived in a privileged bubble. I'm aware of that." She stepped up to the truck to place her order and since I was in no way prepared leave her hand, I stepped up too. "We're going to try the barbeque chicken and...the egg roll."

She glanced over her shoulder at me. "Does that work for you?"

I nodded and pressed my lips to the crown of her head. "I'm good with whatever you want."

Cheeku was busy watching the flag squad warm up while she alternated between chugging lemonade and cramming fistfuls of popcorn in her mouth.

I was free to remove my hand from Zoya's any time now. Any time at all. Eventually, I would have to move. I couldn't walk around the sports complex, grabbing her hand all night.

And the time would come when this charade had to end. Even if I wanted to snatch her up and take her home with me tonight, that wasn't the direction this was going.

It is never going that direction.

Obviously, I had to end this. I had to find a smooth way to put space between us and regain some semblance of control over this current predicament of mine.

And do it all without tossing myself into a season of pain and misery.

All I had to do was figure out how to accomplish that.

Stepping back and shoving my hands in my pockets would work. It would be abrupt, yes, and she'd wonder what the hell was wrong with me.

Nothing new there. I could also shift my hand to her lower back, maybe her elbow.

Christ almighty, I need my brain's filth to leave me alone.

In the end, the choice made itself when Zoya unzipped her purse.

"What are you doing?" I grabbed the card from her, shoved it back in the small bag at her hip. I hadn't noticed the thin purple strap crossed over her torso until now. "There is no way I'm letting you-no. Put your money away." I zipped the purse for her and then reached for my wallet, blindly passing some bills to the person watching this affair unfold from behind the counter. I thought I was finished.

I'd put the matter down and not reach for her hand again. Two birds and such. But I couldn't stop myself from adding, "Not when you're with me."

She tipped her head to the side, regarding me with a slow stare. She'd done something to her eyes, a makeup thing, and she looked more feline than usual with a thick, dark line running over her lids and past the corners.
"Adi," she breathed. "look at yourself."

The images blaring behind my eyes at those words were unreal-and mortifying. "Sorry, I-"

"Don't you dare," she interrupted. "DO NOT STAND THERE AND APOLOGIZE."

She eyed me for a moment and this would've been a fine time for lightning to strike, aliens to arrive, the ground to open-whatever.

Anything would be preferable to her studying me as if she could see straight through me and into the sweaty, skin-slapping visions that had overrun my mind from the second I touched her.

"You're damn good at this. You've almost fooled me, and I affectionately refer to myself as a dried-up husk of a human these days, so bravo. And don't look now but your friend with the crazy eyes has a bit of steam blowing out of her ears. She just stomped off into the stadium."

I accepted a paper basket with two foil-wrapped rolls from the food truck window.

"Why are you a dried-up husk, Zoya? What happened?"

She shook her head and waved away the question as she glanced at the nearby trucks. "Nothing important. You know how I exaggerate."

It was important.
Probably the most important piece of her showing up in this town after all these years. But I was not equipped to peel back those layers right now. It was all I could do to be this close to her and remind myself to breathe normally. I couldn't ask the right questions. I couldn't string the words together. Not tonight.

"You don't exaggerate," I said.

She lifted a shoulder, again dismissing the topic. "I've been known to overstate. The dried-up husk bit is an overstatement. I take my skincare too seriously for that."

Cheeku wandered back, her cheeks crammed with popcorn and her hand buried deep in the bag. The lemonade was long gone.

"It's time to go in," she mumbled. "Come on, Zoya. Need to get good seats."

"Sure, my girl..." Zoya smiled and wiped Cheeku's mouth with a fond smile.

Apart from the smut that ran through my head when I laid my eyes on her... there's another image that a lot more dangerous..... The image of the three of us.... The image where Cheeku and I will always have Zoya around.

She took Zoya's hand and towed her toward the stadium. Zoya glanced back at me, held out her free hand.

I'd never moved so fast in my life.

We made our way into the stands and found a mostly empty row near the visitor's end zone.

Cheeku , fueled by the sugar in that lemonade, didn't want to sit. Instead, she stood next to Zoya and danced in place without the benefit of music.

Zoya positioned herself as close to me as she could get without sitting in my lap.

Not that I would've complained about having her in my lap. She reached for one of the half-moon foil packets, saying, "We're going to talk about how much we love chicken rolls now. We're going to be very cute. Sickeningly cute. At one point, I'm going to wipe a crumb off your cheek....Bonus points if you suck it off my thumb."

Suck it off my thumb.

Either she had no clue what she was doing to me or she was evil through and through.

There was no in-between on this one.

"I think we'll be all right without," I managed, "the sucking. From your thumb." I cleared my throat.

I bit a huge chunk from my half of the to prevent me from saying anything more. I didn't know whether it was chicken or egg roll or a handful of dirt smashed between a flatbread.

I couldn't taste a damn thing.

Suck it off my thumb.
Fuck me.

"Try this one," she said, handing me another wedge.

I was careful to take it without touching her. Not that it made much difference since we were pressed right up against each other and I had a distinct awareness of the side of her breast on my arm, but I required that inch of distance. I couldn't hear those words in my head without wanting her fingers in my mouth, and even if she was evil incarnate, she never asked for me to defile her in my mind.

She was helping me out-or so I'd led her to believe-and I was repaying her by growing a garden of the most filthy thoughts I'd had in years.

What The Fuck Was Wrong With Me?

"I think I like the egg roll best," she said, nodding to herself as she balled the foil between her palms. "You were right though. The barbeque chicken is a highly reliable choice. Always delivers. And I'd get it again. But there's something unexpected about the egg roll. It checked all the boxes."

I grumbled out some noise of agreement and Zoya chose that moment to twist toward me.

It was no longer a simple awareness of her breast.

It was as thorough a comprehension as possible without her clothes hitting the floor.

3 seconds.... If we weren't in this public place and if I weren't in the safety of own restraints.... If Zoya ever said yes.... I knew that I'd take exactly 3 seconds to have her clothes away.

"Let me just get," she murmured, lifting her hand to my face. She ran her thumb over my top lip, to the corner of my mouth. "Perfect."

"All the boxes checked?" I breathed.

"Here's what you need to do." She dropped her hand on my thigh, just high enough for me to wonder if the pressure in my chest was pleasure or the early signs of a heart attack. "Put your arm around me. Let me snuggle right into that shoulder. Yep. That's it. Your friend is a couple of rows down, a few sections over. Close to the middle. And she keeps looking this way."

"For fuck's sake, why?" I grumbled.

"Probably because you're hot."

I'd misheard.

The crowd, the game. Too much noise. "What?"

"You are very attractive, Aditya. I'm sorry no one's broken the news to you." She reached up, ran her knuckles along my jaw. "Hot enough that this woman has decided that your kids being mortal enemies isn't even close to a disqualifier."

I pinched a few strands of her hair between my fingers, sliding down to the ends and starting over again. "Do I have to tell you to shut up again?"

"I'd rather you didn't."

I arched a brow. "Are you sure about that?"

She dropped her gaze to my lips.

Don't look at my lips Zoya, I still don't have the permission to kiss your words inside of you.

"Mmhmm. I'm sure. Either way, I'm just telling you the truth."

The toughest part about growing out of my teenage body was that I hadn't changed. The exterior looked different now but I was the same person. Losing weight, clearing up my skin, even the shape of face changed-all of that brought me confidence but those changes came to me gradually and they didn't override the fact that I'd been the furthest thing from attractive as a teenager, when it had seemed more important than anything else.
And I'd lived a long time with that knowledge. It didn't go away overnight.

I shifted my hand from her hip to her waist, slipped just beneath her shirt. Her skin was warm.

I dragged the tips of my fingers back and forth because I could, because I didn't want to keep talking about Tanya or all the ways in which our worlds had changed.

And because this wasn't part of the show.

Tanya couldn't see this. If the handful of people seated on the rows above us could see what I was doing, I was certain they didn't care.

This was for Zoya and it was for me. No one else.

She didn't protest... Didn't deny my touch...rather sank into it.

For the entirety of the first half, I divided my focus between Cheeku , who realized piece by piece that high school football wasn't nearly as exciting as I'd made it out to be, and the way Zoya's body relaxed into mine.

It was a mess of contradictions.

I hated everything about this. It was torture. It fucking hurt. And I didn't want it to stop.

There was a very significant possibility I was going to injure myself when I finally got behind closed doors tonight and gave my thoughts-and left hand-the freedom to run wild.

Cheeku hit the wall not long after the halftime performance. When she shuffled over, sat down beside me, and dropped her head against my arm, I knew she was down for the count. "Had enough?" I asked.

She bobbed her head.

I carried Cheeku to the parking lot, her head heavy on my shoulder. My hands found their way back to Zoya. No one was watching us anymore but that didn't matter.
I had her for tonight.

Zoya gestured to the opposite end of the lot but I shook my had, steering her in the direction of my car. "We'll drop you at your car."

"It's fine. I can-" "We'll drop you at your car and then we're following you till the house. No argument."

She stared at me as if she didn't understand the words. As if they truly didn't compute. Maybe it was that they didn't compute coming from me.

We reached the car and Cheeku went into her booster seat without much of a fuss. Then I opened the door for Zoya.

"I'm parked just down there. I don't need a ride."

"Get in the car."

After a second of internal debate, she climbed inside and I knew the car would smell like her tomorrow.

Part of me couldn't wait for it.

The other part knew I was setting myself up for regular servings of misery.

Once I was settled in the truck, I said to her, "Thanks for everything. You owed me exactly none of it. You could've told me to go to hell and left me to deal with Tanya and it would've been deserved."

"I would not have done that and you know it."

"Thank you."

She nodded slowly, glancing around the car. "You always did like things neat."

I jerked a shoulder up. "Some things never change."

She turned to face me. "I hope so."

Since my options were slim to none with a half-asleep six-year-old in the back seat and it wasn't like I was prepared to explain to Zoya that not a single minute of this evening had been an act for me, I pulled out of the parking space and let her direct me to her vehicle.

"I'm following you," I said when she opened the door. "But keep an eye out for animals, especially when you turn onto Hill House and then Old Windmill. Loads of deer and turkeys out recently."

She waved in response. I waited for her to start the car, back out of the space. Mentally kicked myself for not offering to drive her to the game in the first place. I followed Zoya out of the high school complex and down the sleepy residential streets of Musoorie toward the narrow bridge that led past the white-steepled church where my mother had once preached to the hilly farmland on the other side.

"Is Zoya your girlfriend?"

Cheeku 's little voice was thick and raspy with sleep, and she had her face turned toward the window.

"She's my friend," I said. "A very good friend." I glanced at her in the rearview.

"Is that okay with you?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure? You can tell me if it's not okay."

"Zoya is my friend too," Cheeku replied.

"I know."

"Why is she not your girlfriend."

I waited behind Zoya at a stop sign, staring at her, hoping to catch her eye if she glanced back at me. She didn't.

"You think she should be my girlfriend?.. because we held hands tonight?"

"No. I thought you liked her."

"I do," I admitted.

Cheeku was quiet for several minutes. I assumed she'd drifted off to sleep. Then, "If she's your friend, does that mean you're going to have playdates with her too?"

I turned onto Old Windmill Hill Road, slowing as Zoya approached the turn for her tea garden. I followed, stopping at the top of the lane to watch her park. We waited as she unlocked the front door to the house, gave us a wave, and stepped inside.

"I don't know, Cheeku . Maybe. If that's what she wants."

"Let's be really nice to her," Cheeku said around a yawn. "Maybe she'll want to visit us more."

God, I hope so.

"I'll see what I can do."

"You should woo Zoya." She stated like my little pirate was commanding her troopmen (Only me)

"Woo??... Who taught you that word?"

"Abeer uncle... He said he needed to woo a lady who comes to the bakery every morning.... She wears blue a lot.... He said I could help him 'woo' her because I am cute and girls like cute girls.... Should I help you too?"

"And what did he tell you 'woo' means?" I and Abeer need to have a talk.

"He said it means that we need to treat the girl like she's a queen.... I don't like queens... I am a pirate...but Zoya could be a good Queen.... I'll never wreck her ship."

"She's nice?"

"Will you woo her Adi? Please Woo her....woo her and make her your girlfriend and then we'll always play together and she would make my hair pretty everyday.... Can I also have a onsie like hers??" Her eyes lit up.

"We'll talk about that .... If I'm free on Saturday, we can go shopping."

"Aye aye Captain!!!!"

I need to get her to her bed or else this girl would be a tornado in the house in the middle of the night.

"Should I woo Zoya?....No
...talk to Abeer first."

~~~

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