"Where are the nipples?" 

Rocking my newborn daughter, I yelled back, "They're in the diaper bag!" 

"And the formula?" 

"Next to the nipples!"

"Got 'em!"

Since the baby seemed to be having trouble breastfeeding, we started giving her formula, too. Breastfeeding was the way I wanted to go, but I was happy as long as she got the nutrients she needed. 

It's only been a couple days since we got back from the hospital, and Ryan and I probably have had roughly five hours of sleep. The baby did not like to sleep. At least, she didn't like to sleep when we needed to sleep. She was up and crying a lot. But a baby is what I wanted and, lack of sleep aside, it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. 

"Here you go, D. Fresh bottle for her." 

I took the bottle from Ryan and sprinkled a few drops on my arm. "You need to warm it up."

"Shit. I forgot." 

"Not too hot," I called when he took the bottle to the kitchen.

"I know, D. I got it." 

I adjusted the baby on my shoulder, rocking her back and forth while making shushing sounds. I knew it wouldn't work, but it was worth a shot. She had a clean diaper on, so I was hoping she was just hungry. The hope was that after she ate, she would finally take a nap. That way I could take a nap. Hell, even a shower. I had...things all over my clothes and hair.

Ryan jogged back into the room with the bottle. "Here you go. It's ready." 

I took the bottle and frowned at him. "Where's the burping cloth?" Realization hit him and I sighed from frustration and exhaustion. "Ry, I need the burping cloth when I feed her. She likes to spit up. Remember what happened to your favorite shirt yesterday?" 

"Alright!" he snapped. He immediately closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Sorry. I'm just—"

"Tired. I know. Me too. It's okay." 

He nodded his head towards the living room. "I'll go get you the burping cloth." 

"Thank you." 

I readjusted the baby in my arms and stuck the bottle between her lips. "How about after you eat, you take a looooong nap. How's that sound?" 

Her eyes were wide open as she looked up at me. I knew she was too young to actually see me, but it seemed like she could. When I talked to her, she stared at me like she was listening. My little genius. 

Luck seemed to be on my side because she started drinking. And no spit up. 

There is a god... 

Now if she would just go to sleep. I eyed the swing that Jackson and Harper bought us. We moved it from the nursery and into the corner of our bedroom when we realized it was the only place she was comfortable sleeping. 

Problem was...she only seemed to sleep for thirty minutes at a time. This baby loved to cry. And on the rare chance that she did sleep longer than a half hour, she would cry as soon as she realized that one of us was falling asleep. It was like she had spidey senses or something. 

"Are you spider-man," I cooed to her. "Is that why you know when mommy and daddy are trying to sleep?" 

She continued to stare up at me while she fed. Beautiful wasn't a strong enough word to describe her. She was absolutely perfect. I honestly never thought I would be so happy being a mom. Life really takes you by surprise, doesn't it? You can plan and plan, but in the end, you don't know what's going to happen. I sure as hell didn't. 

When the baby finished the bottle, I sat it aside and held her against my chest again. This time to burp her. I slid my hands up and down, patting her back as I did it. 

"That's my girl," I breathed when she finally burped before holding her in front of me. "Ready for a nap?" 

Climbing off the bed, I walked towards the changing table. "Ry? Where's that burping cloth?" 

Just because she was done eating didn't mean we were in the clear. 

"Coming!" he called. I got to work checking her diaper. Yep. Just as I suspected, it was wet again. Once she had a fresh one on, I fixed her NY Yankees onesie and picked her back up. "Sorry, we had an unexpected visitor." 

I turned towards the door and saw Jackson standing next to my husband. "Hey. It's good to see you." 

"I wanted to come by to see you guys and the little lady," he said with a smile. "How's she doing? How are you guys doing?" 

"Tired," Ryan groaned. "So freaking tired, bro. I need a nap. For like...a year."

I adjusted the baby on my chest, making sure to support her head. "You aren't the only one. I need a nap for—"

And that's when she threw up. Again. All over me.

"Oh, shit."

Ryan cleared his throat and handed me the cloth. "I, uh, got the cloth." 

I looked at my husband with narrowed eyes. "It's a little late for that, honey. There's baby throw up dripping between my boobs right now." 

Jackson stifled a laugh and reached for the baby. "Here, let me take her for a while. You go shower then both of you can take a nap. I've got her."

I was so sleep deprived and hormonal that I started crying at Jackson's offer. And that wasn't all. I stepped forward and kissed my brother-in-law right on the mouth. "Thank you...so much." 

Unfazed by my action, Jackson laughed as he clutched the baby to him and stepped out of the room. "Go take your shower. I promise she's in good hands." 

"I hope that didn't bother you," I said to my brother. "She's just emotional." 

Ryan scoffed and looked at me seriously. "Shit. If you weren't my brother, I would have probably done the same thing for what you did. Seriously. She needs a break. We both do." He rubbed his tired eyes before running his fingers through his already disheveled hair. "Having a baby is rough." 

"But you love it." 

"Of course I do." 

"I can see why," I murmured. "She's amazing." 

Amazing was an understatement. The little girl I was holding in my arms had her dad's blonde hair and her mom's blue eyes.

She was a beauty. The reality that my brother and his wife made this baby hit me like a freight train when I saw her for the first time in the hospital room.

They made this. The truth of that only added to my determination that Harper and I have our own little boy or a little girl someday. Maybe one of each if we were lucky. Really lucky.

But there was still hope.

I followed Ryan out of his bedroom and into the living room to give Danielle some privacy while she showered. My brother stretched out on the couch while I sat down in the loveseat with his daughter nestled in my arms.

"Stop it, Jay."

I frowned. "Stop what?"

"You forget just how well I know you. You don't have to apologize. I understand why you needed a little space from us. And the baby. It's all good."

 Damn. I guess he did know me pretty well. Maybe he understood and I didn't need to apologize to him, but with—

"You don't need to apologize to Danielle, either." 

"What the bloody hell, Ry!"

"Language! Little ears are present."

 I was so put-off by the way Ryan was basically reading my thoughts that I forgot there were indeed little ears in the room. "How did you know what I was thinking? No, forget it. Doesn't matter. I am going to apologize to her. I have to. She probably thinks—"

"She doesn't think anything." Ryan stretched his large arms over his head. "She was a little concerned at first, but we talked. She gets it and she isn't mad. I swear." 

The baby turned her head into my chest as she napped in my arms. Ryan told me they've been having trouble getting her to sleep. I guess she just missed her uncle. But when I looked down at her, I wondered if this was how I would feel when I had my own child. 

Protective. Loving. Worried. Terrified. Happy. 

It was a wide range of fucked up emotions that I wasn't familiar with—and they all hit me that night in the hospital. It was why I stayed away for a few days. I needed time to deal with it. Work through it. And I did. Mostly it was thanks to my amazing wife. I would be absolutely nothing without her. 

"Oh. My. God." 

Ryan and I both looked towards the doorway of his bedroom to see Danielle standing there with a surprised expression. 

"Baby? You okay?" 

Danielle nodded but didn't take her eyes off of me. 

"What? I got something on my face?"

She walked up to me slowly and I grew more and more uncomfortable. What the fuck was wrong with her? Maybe Ryan was wrong. Maybe she really was upset with me. I wouldn't blame her. I mean, if I thought she didn't want to see my kid after it was born, I would probably—

"You got her to go to sleep," Danielle said suddenly. "She's sleeping." 

My brows dropped into a deep V and I looked down at the baby. "Oh. Yeah."

"You need to call Harper."

Now I was even more confused. "What? Why do I need to do that?" 

Danielle's expression went from surprised to commanding. And it was scary as hell. "Because I need to sleep, and the baby seems to only stay asleep in your arms. The guest room is yours and her feeding instructions are on the fridge. I hope you like slumber parties...Uncle Jackson."

When his wife disappeared into her bedroom, most likely to pass out, I looked to my brother for an explanation. 

With a shrug he said, "Look at it this way, Jay. It could be worse. At least we don't have to braid each other's hair at this sleepover." 

Ryan turned over on the couch, and within just a few minutes, he started to snore. 

***

Hey all! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It was a blast to write. As always, I appreciate all comments and votes. 

Xoxo

🖤