The next morning when I came downstairs, I noticed that my uncle had left a note for me on the fridge as I was getting ready to pour myself a glass of orange juice. I snatched the sticky note and held it close to my face so I could read it clearly.

"Been working on a big case, have to put in some overtime. Won't be home until late. Money on the counter. Order something in if you get hungry. Be good at school for once.
                                                                 -Rodger."

I glanced to my right and wasn't shocked when he did indeed leave money for me on the counter, forty bucks at least. I frowned and crumbled the note in my hands before tossing it in the trash bin seated a few feet away from me.

I knew it probably wasn't that big of a deal, but I couldn't stop the feelings of sadness from making their way through to my heart. Uncle Rodger told me a few days ago that things had been running slow for him at the lawyer's office and he didn't expect things to pick back up anytime soon, so overtime would be out of the question for a while. Though I knew it was entirely possible for things to change, that still didn't stop me from thinking that he was trying to put some distance between us after what I had done.

I yanked open the handle on the fridge and took out the orange juice that was sitting on the top shelf. I shook it for about twenty seconds, unscrewed the cap, and chugged half the bottle without bothering to pour it into a glass as I had originally planned. If my uncle wanted to put distance between us, then so be it. I spent the entire weekend hating myself enough, I couldn't allow myself to care about the situation anymore, or else I was afraid I would be eaten alive from the shame.

It took longer than usual for the bus to pick us up today, which was annoying because my nipples were in the process of being frozen solid and it was only a matter of time before they snapped and fell off. Fall was beginning to reach its end and winter wasn't hesitating to take its place with the way frost was already revealing itself on the grass where morning dew once was, and the fact that when you blinked the day was half over already. I shuddered when a strong breeze blew and hugged myself tighter. God, I really hated the fucking cold.

Eventually, the bus arrived. I made sure I was one of the first people on board so I didn't have to risk any more time getting hypothermia.

As I walked down the aisle of the bus, my eyes searched somewhere for me to sit. A lot of people were already sitting two to a seat, and the ones sitting alone made sure to place their book bags to the side of them so they made it known they didn't want any company. Normally, I wouldn't have cared and would have sat down anyway, which was something that I was about to do, but I changed my mind when Courtney and I locked eyes.

He was sitting at the very back of the bus, the last seat in fact, and looked exhausted as I felt. I hadn't seen or heard from him since our night spent in jail together, and the fact that I had left him there the next day. His copper-brown eyes narrowed slightly as he looked at me and his mouth twitched into a grimace. Either way, I made my way towards him and sat down next to him anyway. I knew I didn't have to, and I definitely knew he didn't want me to, but he still made room for me anyways.

A couple of more people took their seats before the bus pulled off and headed its way towards the school since we were the last stop. The awkward silence that followed was uncomfortable, which was unusual for a hyperactive chatty guy like him. Courtney was the guy who always had something to say, even when he wasn't saying much. I reflected on the times when Courtney would pester me with his talk of things I never paid much attention to because I deemed it worthless, but he was a good distraction whenever I was going through a hard time. He was still my friend, I thought. I hoped.

"Hey," I said, finally breaking the silence. "I'm . . . I'm sorry about leaving you there that day."

Courtney's face had been turned away from me ever since I sat down. His eyes quickly glanced at me before they returned to watching the world speed past us outside, "Sky and Dylan should be the ones apologizing since they ditched us first."

"Yeah, but I could have asked my uncle to ask them to let you out too, but my mind was just bombarded with a million different things," I cringed when I heard him scoff at that. This was such a shitty apology, "You're right, I sounded like a dick. But I really am sorry though. Very."

Courtney didn't say anything. I chewed on my bottom lip while ransacking my brain to think of something to make things better. I just blurted out the first idea that came to mind.

". . . Wanna go out behind the bleachers during lunch and hang around? Sky and Dylan won't be around then, probably. What do you say?"

He stayed silent.

I continued to go on, "Or I could go find a guy that deals and we can smoke? Remember that time you got high and then you went into the bathroom and-"

"God Kyrie just shut the hell up," Courtney snapped. "I don't want to hang out with you. I don't want to smoke with you. I don't want to do jack shit with you, okay? Stop trying to make things easy on yourself."

"What do you mean by that?"

He groans and whips his head around to face me properly. I was surprised by how he looked at me as if I were the lowest piece of shit on the planet, and I was certainly starting to feel like it, "You fuck up so now you're feeling guilty and trying to pass things off as harmless when they're not. While you and Chris were out enjoying freedom, I was inside that damn jail cell for five more hours. My folks came in and I got my ass handed to me right in front of the cops, which by the way, was embarrassing as shit. I have to go to court on Thursday. They're thinking about expelling me and putting me in some damn juvenile detention center. My folks are royally pissed. Everything has gone to shit because of you guys."

"Okay hold on, not everything is my fault. I didn't mean to leave you behind, that was all Sky and Dylan. I even told them not to do it. I was actually thinking about helping you while they were willing to throw you under the bus without hesitation!"

"Wow Kyrie, you're my goddamn hero. I should give you a kiss for saving the fucking day. Do you know how much of an asshole you sound right now? You 'didn't mean to' leave me behind, I was 'thinking' about helping you? What a fucking joke. You know, ever since you started hanging out with us, Sky has started treating me as if I were some fucking extra in a movie or something and has been slowly pushing me out of the group all the while he's been edging you in."

I was more than confused, "Huh? What the hell are you talking about? He ditched me too, dumbass."

Courtney rolled his eyes, "But he knew you would be able to get out of it. Your uncle is a lawyer for Christ's sake. He didn't care if I got out or not. Ha, he hasn't even texted me since then! But he's tried to talk to you, right?"

I opened my mouth to say something but closed it after I remembered that Sky had tried to contact me, the next day after my uncle had gotten Chris and me out. I didn't respond, for obvious reasons, and forgot all about it.

He snickered when I wasn't able to defend myself anymore, "See what I mean? He's never acted that way towards me before you came slithering along. I mean, what the hell is so interesting about you anyway? Seriously, all you've ever been is a god damn buzzkill and depressing as fuck to be around. Hannah Baker is more fun than you. There's nothing interesting bout you, man."

I fumbled around for words, "But I-"

"I never really saw you as a friend, I just thought you were some random guy Sky had a sudden interest in and you'd be tossed away soon enough once he got bored with you as he did with many others in the past. It's his specialty ya know? But then he kept just liking you more and more and now here we are," he shook his head, "But it's nothing to feel too bad about, right? You've never really thought of us as friends either, just a couple of guys you could leech onto to distract you from your problems. You'd eventually end up throwing us away too. I guess you and Sky are similar in that way."

I didn't know what to say. I don't think I was able to. All I could think about saying was that I was sorry.

"I'm. . . I'm sorry, Courtney. I didn't mean to, like, steal him away or anything."

"Just stay the hell away from me, man. You can go ahead and tell Sky and Dylan that too. I'd call him myself, but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't answer."
There really wasn't anything I could say after that. My apologies weren't going to magically make things better, and deep down inside (though I hated to admit it) I knew he was right, in a way. I rested my head against the seat in front of me. Shutting my eyes, I tried to only pay attention to the constant humming of the bus's engine, and not the loud overbearing negative thoughts ringing inside of my head.

» » »

I didn't expect the first thing I'd be doing this morning at school was making my way to console Charlie Piper as he cried alone in his car, yet here we are.

Maybe I should rewind a bit.

As soon as the bus dropped us off at the front gate, I hurried my way to the bathroom first thing because school bathrooms were disgusting and for some reason, they were always cleaner in the morning than in the afternoon. There was just something about skilfully sidestepping shit and piss on the floor that wasn't appealing to me.

Just when I finished doing my business, before I walked out of the stall I heard two students mention Charlie's name as they gossiped.

"Hey, did you see Piper outside in the parking lot this morning? Looked like he was crying or something." one of them said.

"Really? What for?" the other asked.

"I don't know, it might have to do something with those rumors going around about him and his family."

"What rumors?"

I heard the gushing of water pouring from the sink, "Hmm. . . apparently a few days ago some dude's mom that works the front desk at the motel near downtown saw his pops check in with some woman, and then came back the night after to check in again with a different one. I don't think it was meant to be a big thing, but apparently, Charlie's dad is still supposed to be married. Everyone thinks he's cheating now."

I kind of wanted to laugh to myself when they said that. Maybe Charlie's parents were married on paper, but they were far from being together. I had been so caught up in my own bullshit this was the first time I was hearing about this random rumor. But Charlie always had rumors flying around about him. Even though he was popular and sociable, he did a great job at creating distance from everyone around him and kept the important things to himself which people made a hobby out of spreading false information about him around.

That, and he and his family always were the mysterious type. The only thing people ever knew about any of them was that his father was the most popular news anchor in the state, his mother hailed from some rich family, and their son attended this school.

But unlike most people, I really knew Charlie, and a rumor like this wouldn't make him cry. Something deeper was going on. It always was when it came to him.

I flushed and stepped out of the stall. I quickly washed my hands and shook them dry while I sprinted out of there and towards the parking lot.

It was easy to spot him once I got there, it was still pretty early and school hadn't started yet, so no cars crowded the lot.

There he was, in the newest model of a Mercedes-Benz car that was spotted here and there with mud and dirt since it had been a little rainy this past week. I watched him stare aimlessly out the passenger window on his side as he shamelessly let tears slide from his cheeks, his hand situated comfortably on the lower part of his face. He seemed to be deep in thought about something important.

Now that I was here, I suddenly felt like I didn't belong, or rather, I didn't have the right. Sure, the two of us had been close friends since our second year of high school, but truth be told I hadn't really talked to him since July even after all those times he tried to contact me. Did I really even have the right to call him my friend after ignoring him for so long? Did he even still want me around after acting like such a dick?

I didn't even have time to back out and walk away because while I was deep in thought, Charlie had already spotted me. He honked the horn on his steering wheel to garner my attention.

I hesitated. I didn't think that it was right for me to be the one to go over there. Chris should be the one by his, or PJ. Not me.

Charlie sensed my hesitation. He frowned slightly and continued to press his hand on the horn. People were starting to notice us now and they didn't seem happy about having to hear an annoying loud car horn when it wasn't even eight-thirty yet.

I sighed heavily, "Alright, alright, you can knock it off now! I'm coming."

Charlie immediately stopped and looked pleased with himself. I hurried over to his car, opened the door, and slid in on the passenger's side.

Charlie wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and sniffed. He turned his head towards me and gave me a wobbly smile that resembled that of an abandoned puppy, "Well, look who it is! Kyrie man, it's good to see you, you've been such a stranger lately I almost assumed I was seeing a ghost."

"Are you being passive-aggressive? Because I feel like you're totally being passive-aggressive."

"Well, maybe a little. I really am happy to see you though."

I nodded, "Yeah, me too. My life has been in shambles lately, and things don't seem to be getting any easier."

He chuckled beside me, "Look who you're talking to."

I shifted in the car seat and relaxed, the jitters I was feeling earlier slowly melting away, I asked him the million-dollar question, "So. . . what's wrong? As long as I've known you, you've never broken down in public like this."

Charlie sighed, "It's my dad, man. He's gotten way worse and I think it's only a matter of time before things completely fall apart. Going back home every day after school has gotten scary for me. Most nights he comes home late anyways, but he always comes back drunk and starts bothering me. It's gotten to the point where I've had to lock myself in my room at night until he eventually passes out on the couch."

I already knew the answer, but something made me ask the question anyways, "What are these things your dad keeps doing to you . . .?"

Charlie's face gave me a tired, yet knowing expression. Without saying a single word while suppressing a groan, he shifted in the passenger's seat and rolled up the bottom ends of his sweater. My eyes went wide once I saw it.

On Charlie's normally bronze skin, a huge purple-bluish spot now covered half of his side and spread close to his lower abdomen. I felt tears wield in my eyes as the bruise and I stared back at each other. My anger was elevating every second, all I could think about doing was getting out of this goddamn car, waltzing over to Charlie's house, busting inside, and kicking his stomping his dads fucking head in. I couldn't believe that the son of bitch would do something like this to his own son.

No, actually, I could believe it. He had been doing these things for as long as I could remember. It's just that every incident surprised me more than the last because the beatings kept getting worse and worse.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, "Charlie, hey man, you need to get out of that house pronto. After school today, pack a bag and get the hell out of there, don't look back. You hear me?"

Charlie let his sweater fall from his hands. He reclined back into his seat and looked down at his hands, "And go where Kyrie?"

"With me! I'm sure if we explained it to my uncle, he wouldn't mind. Or with Charlie, or PJ. You know how much Chris and his folks love your ass, and PJ practically lives alone anyway. You have options. You gotta get out of there before things get out of hand."

"Things have already gotten out of hand."

"Okay, let me rephrase since you don't seem to be getting the point: you need to get out of that house before you get hurt, or worse. It's not safe for you to be there anymore if it ever were."

Charlie sighed, "You think I hadn't thought about doing that already? As much as I want to, I can't just leave. It's not that easy for me."

"Why not?" I pressed him. "Why can't it be easy for you?"

"You know how popular and practically famous my dad is. He's the most popular news anchor on News Edition Tonight, and everyone in the state watches that channel and knows who he is. And my mom. . . even though she's not in the picture, her side of the family is always in our business. They really take being the sole heir to the state's biggest manufacturing company seriously."

I rolled my eyes, "I'm failing to see how that's relevant?"

He shook his head, "You don't get it if word got out that Rick and Genevieve Piper's son was now living away from home for unexplained reasons, people will start asking questions, my family will get involved, my dad would go ballistic, it'll all just be one giant mess. I don't think I can handle that right now."

"Who cares if people find out?" I asked him, confused."If that happens, you can just tell the truth about why you left in the first place. You'll have support and everyone would be on your side. This should make things a little easier, right?"

Charlie groaned into the air and put his arm across his face, "No, no it wouldn't. Years ago Chris and his family tried to do exactly that- they found out what my dad was doing behind closed doors and took action. I stayed with them for almost an entire month without problems until they tried to take matters to the police. People started to talk around town and at school, things had quickly turned horrible. Not only did my dad find out, but it was only a matter of time before my mom's side of the family found out as well."

"They decided the only way for me to keep my mouth shut and not expose my dad and all the things he had done was to get back at Chris's family. His mom, who had been working at the post office for almost fifteen years, suddenly lost her job, just like that. His younger brother got caught with weed in his locker and got placed in a juvenile detention center for a month; he doesn't even smoke! And finally, Chris's mom was at risk of losing custody of the two of them after people supposedly heard disturbing noises coming from their apartment. And all of that happened because of me, it was my fault. I had to go back or else their entire lives were going to be ruined because of me."

"Charlie. . . you know all of that couldn't possibly be your fault, it's your fucked up families. If you don't go to the police then I will-"

Charlie's eyes shot wide. He grasped onto my shoulder tightly and gazed at me desperately, "Please. . . please don't do that! I'll handle it just please don't go to the police. I can figure out a way."

I frowned at him, "And how's that going?"

His lips pursed into a sad pout, "Not good but. . . please. For the sake of me, my loved ones, and our friendship. . . just don't say anything."

I sighed, "Charlie I can't-"

"Promise me! Promise me you won't, Kyrie."

He was asking a lot out of me. I understood that he was fearful of what his family could do to the ones he cared about most and how they can ruin them, but the more Charlie stayed in that abusive household the worse things will become. He wasn't safe there, and I care about him way too much to just sit back as I watched him be put in harm's way. I couldn't make such an outrageous promise.

But the way Charlie's distressed  honey-brown eyes firmly peered into my heart in a way that told me even though he knew the situation was horrible, he trusted me not to go to the police. I knew I should, I absolutely knew I should tell somebody, but I just couldn't. I couldn't do that without feeling like I'd be betraying one of my best friends.

"Kyrie please," Charlie begged. "Promise me that you'll keep this between us, okay?"

I had made up my mind, "Yeah okay. . . I promise," I agreed finally.

He let out a sigh of relief, "Good. Thank you man, I knew I could count on you."

I slouched back in the passenger car seat and slid a few inches downward, "This sucks."

Charlie nodded his head slowly, "Tell me about it."