Chapter 18
Noah Gerald Sky
It's Wonderful To Fall

My decisions were wrong. A total bullshit. Gloss is not a bad thing. He is a good thing. I should have said that. Now, I'm paying the price. Everytime I'd see him with that Beau guy and gives him a kiss, or even flirt with him, there'd be a pang of jealousy hitting my stomach. He has been ignoring me, avoiding me at any cause. I've tried to talk to him but he just pushed me away. He blocked me from his world. And now, I'm alone.

Chelsie takes a seat beside me on the couch. Gloss is in his room, probably talking to that Beau guy. Chelsie and I just got back together last month. She has tried her best to prove her loyalty to me. She kept saying sorry and sorry and sorry to me, that she'd never do it again, that I'm the only one for her. So I've decided to get back with her.

It's a one-sided love.

I used to love her so much, but right now, I can't tell if how much I love her. In fact, the sparks, the fireworks, the thrills are gone now. I used to have a bubbly feeling inside me whenever I look at her. But when I look at her right now, nothing. Empty. She's a good fuck, yes. But there's nothing more.

It has been three month since I've dragged him into the janitor's closet and had a talk. Well, it's not actually a conversation because he didn't speak at all. What I said to him that day, that was the biggest mistake I've ever done and made in my whole life. I'm such a big idiot.

Chelsie purrs in my ear and I want nothing but to shove her away from me. I don't, though. The jocks hesitantly approved of this, of our Chelsie and I's relationship, and they are aware of Chelsie's every action. Mike ignores her, and tries to avoid her at any cost. Chelsie doesn't talk to him, too. And when we are together, there's always an awkward silence lingering in the air. And there's tension so thick that even guys like Collins, Sam, Nero, and Kevin can't break it.

"What's wrong, babe?" Chelsie asks me as she takes a seat beside me on my bed. I want you say 'you', but it'd be rude of me to say so. So I just shut my mouth, purse my lips tightly, and shake my head. Chelsie frowns but lets it slide.

The snow was blowing hard, a blizzard. The whole house was like inside the fridge; very cold. Around the house, outside, was the thick snow. Neither of us wanted to go out. The only supply of warmth was the hearth. Gloss was sitting in front of it, his palms were near the fire, seeking warm. You could clearly see that he's shaking a little. Whenever he breathed, the air he was releasing was visible. I badly wanted to hug him, to give him warm. His brows were furrowed and his lips were slightly parted, he was sitting in an indian position. Genny was cooking a soup for us to eat. She said it would help us to get warm. Dad was in his room, doing God knows what. My feet moved to its own accord, like it had its own brain, and in a second, I was beside Gloss. He looked at me from the corner of his eyes and moved far away from me. Just from the simple action of him, he hurt me; it hurt me. But then I couldn't blame him. He kept looking at the fire, its reflection could be seen in his beautiful, breathtaking green eyes that I couldn't force myself to look away. The fiery color of the fire and his green eyes were a good combination. It's like a fire in the water. He shifted uncomfortably and gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. His neck. God, even his neck is sexy. He looked at me and our eyes met, his green eyes boring into my royal blue ones. He frowned then tried to stand up, but my hand shot forward and caught his wrist, gripping it tightly. He looked at my grip, then looked at me, his brows furrowing as he did so. My mouth opened, ready to spill the words that I'd been dying to say, but it seemed like my vocal refused to do what it's supposed to do; to speak loud and clear, with emotions lingering in it. He waited for me to speak, but when he noticed my mouth wouldn't work, he shook his hand and my hand fell, lifeless. He shook his head and went upstairs, ignoring me.

That day, I so wanted to cry and beg for his forgiveness. But why couldn't I say 'I'm sorry'? Why couldn't I just say 'Please forgive me'? Why was it so hard to say 'You're not a bad thing, you're the exact opposite'?

"Heard your brother is going on a date," Chelsie says, in a tone that means 'I just told you and I don't care 'bout that news'. My head snaps at her direction, looking at her, urging her to go on. "It's a triple date. His date is that Beau guy. It's supposed to happen after school today, but Shane McKnight said they'd go tomorrow because they're all free tomorrow. It'd be fun, don't you think? I mean, triple date, wow."

Without giving it a second thought, I say, "Chelsie, let's go on a date tomorrow."

Chelsie looks at me, her face and eyes lighting up as she breaks a smile on her face. "Really? I'd love that, babe!" She says enthusiastically.

"Yeah," I say, faking happiness, as if I really want to go on a date with her. No. I'll spy on Gloss. And that Beau guy. I hate him. I hate Beau St. Clair.

"So, tomorrow? I'm so excited!"

"Get dressed like you've won the title of Ms. Universe tomorrow, 'kay?"

"Okay!"

+++

Gloss is wearing a green polo over a white t-shirt, the polo is unbottoned, and his pecs are visible through the white t-shirt he is wearing. He's also wearing a faded blue jeans, matching it with navy blue shoes. His hair, that has grown over in three months, is in its usual style; fahawk but in a messy way. And it looks really hot and sexy on him. Hell, he's hot and sexy. He's wearing a CK cologne. He just damped it on his clothes and neck, just a little, so you have to lean down closer to smell him greatly. He smells so freaking good. He's sitting on a sofa, Genny taking pictures of him, Dad beside her, his arm draped around the small back of Genny's waist. Gloss keeps rolling his eyes. The doorbell rings and Gloss immediately stands up and runs at the door. He opens it, revealing a good-looking Beau St. Clair. He's wearing a dark grey polo, all the buttons are buttoned-up, the sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, matching it with dark jeans and a black Vans. They share a smile. And I want nothing but to wipe Gloss' smile so that he can't share it to anyone but me only. Genny walks over them and snaps a picture of them smiling at each other. Beau hugs Gloss from his back and puts his chin on Gloss' shoulder and Gloss blushes crimson red as he gives a shy smile to the camera. Beau grins and gives him a peck on the cheek. My blood boils from the sight. But then my blood started boiling when I thought of Beau being around Gloss yesterday until now. Beau takes Gloss' hand and leads him outside. Clenching my teeth, I take a deep huge breath through my nose and exhale it as I begin to walk out of this house. I get in my car, open the ignition, and the car roars to life, purring a brilliant metallic sound as it starts. I pull off the driveway, and in a matter of seconds, I'm on a dimmed road, 'We Are Young' by Fun blaring from the speakers as I drive.

According to Chelsie, they are going to a new restaurant in this town. It's a seafood restaurant. I hate seafoods. As much as I want to go there and spy on them, I won't since the smells of seafoods are, probably, lingering in the air. So Chelsie and I are going to a steak house just near the seafood restaurant. When I get at Chelsie's house, she opens the door wide open as she saunters down the porch of her house. She's wearing a white with pink polkadots dress-skirt, matching it with a pink 4-inch high heels. Her hair is in a ponytail. She has a smile tugged on her lips as she walks flawlessly in my direction. Every step she takes makes a clunk noise. She gives a twirl and her skirt flies upward, following Chelsie's action. She smiles at me, hugs me, and gives me a peck on the lips. She says 'come on' and I open the passenger seat's door and she gets in. Then I run, get inside the car, and drive to the steak house.

I'll do my very best to spy on them. I won't let Beau run his hand all over my Gloss. If someone's gonna touch him, I'll be that someone. I've realized that I like Gloss since the first week after the janitor's closet closure moment. When he was talking to Beau, and even Beau was a newcomer, a new student, he flirted with Gloss and that's when I got jealous to the point I punched my locker real hard, real hard that it bruised my knuckles, it bleed.

I want Gloss to be mine and only mine.

No Beau. No other person. Just Gloss and I.

And I'm planning on making that possible.

**********

'Show me your love,

Let's stay up all night.

Tell me your secrets and not your lies.

Take it all off what you got inside.

Baby strip, strip, strip, strip, strip, strip.'

- STRIP, JESSIE J -

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D&T: November 25, 2014, 8:12PM