29 December 2016

"Sometimes home isn't 4 walls, it's 2 eyes and a heartbeat."

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Connor's POV

"Uno!" I said, throwing my cards onto the side table we were using to play the game.

Finley laughed at me then threw her cards down as well.

"Do you want to play again?" I asked her.

She shook her head with a smile.

"And why not?" I asked her, leaning my elbows on the table.

She giggled.

"Because you keep winning!" she laughed.

I laughed and tapped her nose. She giggled and threw her pillow at me. I caught it and threw it back at her. Our laughter died down and we just looked at each other.

"We're falling in love illegally, almost like Bonnie and Clyde." she said, smiling.

I tried to move closer to her, but the rail on the bed stopped me. I sighed.

"I swear if this thing wasn't here, I'd be kissing all over your face right now." I chuckled, pointing to the rail.

"Dang rail," she smirked.

I smiled at her.

"I'd break the law everyday to fall in love with you all over again," I said to her.

She giggled and blushed.

"You're being cheesy, Connor." she said.

I smirked.

"I like being cheesy, even though I hate cheese." I said, not making much sense.

Finley laughed at me and shook her head.

"Even though you make no sense sometimes, I still can't help but love that about you." she said.

My heart was pounding inside of my chest. I so badly wanted to hold her close to me. I was bound to this bed. I looked down at the rail and searched for a way to get rid of it. I found the screws and started unscrewing them.

"What are you doing?" she asked me.

I smiled back up at her and told her she'd find out soon enough. The screws finally fell to the floor and so did the rail. We both flinched at the sound and looked through the window in the door to see if a doctor had heard it crash into the floor. The coast was clear, so I made me move.

I slowly got up and carefully walked over to her.

"Connor," she gasped, quickly moving up and making space for me.

"I can walk, you know?" I said as I said down on her bed, my legs shaking.

"Yeah, but the doctor told us to rest our bodies. I know we never listen to them anyway, but still." she smirked.

I smiled and leaned in, kissing her soft, pink lips that I missed so much. I pulled her closer and cupped her cheeks with both my hands. She placed her hands on my shoulders and smiled into the kiss.

"Thank you," she whispered once we broke away from each other.

"For what?" I asked her.

She smiled at me and looked deeply into my eyes.

"For coming to me, silly." she said with a giggle.

I smiled at her and kissed her nose. I laid down with Finley in my arms, holding her closely. We were silent for a while and all I could think about was how I knew I loved her after the first time I saw her. I thought about how beautiful she was. I thought about how much I loved it when she smiled at me with a dangerous glint in her eyes. I thought about how I wished we could go on a date.

"Connor?" Finley's voice broke through my thoughts.

I looked down at her and smiled.

"Yeah?" I asked her.

She wasn't looking up at me, but instead drawing shapes on my chest with her fingers.

"Are you scared to die?" she whispered.

I sighed and started playing with her hair.

"No. I was terrified, but I'm not anymore." I said.

"How about you?" I asked her.

She squeezed her eyes shut and swallowed. She buried her head into my chest and cover her face with her hands.

"I'm petrified," she whimpered, a fresh stream of tears flowing down her cheeks.

"Finley, look at me." I said, trying to see her face.

She looked up at her, her brown eyes tear-filled and glossy. I smiled down at her, sadly.

"When you feel scared, think about how all of your suffering will be gone. All the hurt, all the pain, all the Leukaemia – it'll all be gone." I said, brushing her hair out of her face.

She smiled up at me.

"How did your sister take the news that you were dying?" she asked suddenly.

I sighed sadly, remembering the pain in Sadie's eyes.

"She was devastated. She didn't want to let me go, she still doesn't. She isolated herself from everyone, but me. She would sit here, everyday. She's even sleep here at times." I said.

Finley played with my hands.

"My brother lost his girlfriend, because of me. He spent so much time with me and tried to explain to her that he was in pain. He even cried in front of her once, that was when he found out that the chemotherapy wasn't working. She ended up blowing him off and breaking him with him. She was a terrible person." she said.

I shook my head.

"It's not your fault, she was just insensitive." I said.

She nodded and smiled at me.

"I don't deserve someone as amazing as you," she mumbled, tracing my jawline with her fingers.

I smiled down at her and kissed her forehead.

"You deserve more than I can give you," I said against her forehead.

She smiled and kissed me. I kissed her back and held her close to me, cherishing the moment.

"I love you, Finley Pearce." I said as I pulled away.

She smiled at me.

"I love you too, Connor Thomas." she said back.

~&~

I hadn't even realised that Finley and I had fallen asleep until I heard voices around us. I cracked open my one eye and saw my nurse, Belinda.

"Come on, you have visitors." she said with a smile.

She was my favourite nurse. The nurses here understood and allowed us to be together for the last few months of our lives. Obviously, the have to though. I mean, it's pointless arresting a dying patient.

I smiled at her and pulled the covers off my body. Belinda helped me get back into my bed and woke Finley gently.

"Finley dear, wake up." she whispered.

Finley stirred and opened her beautiful brown eyes.

"What's happening?" she asked, sitting up with Belinda's help.

"You and Connor have visitors," she said and handed us each a glass of water.

"Thanks, Belinda." I said and smiled at her.

"My pleasure, I'll go call them for you." she said and hurried our of the room.

"They can't stay away, can they?" Finley laughed.

I laughed and shook my head.

"Nope," I said.

Soon enough, Sadie and Logan walked into the room, followed by another two people. I hadn't seen them before, but it looked like they knew Sadie.

"Hey, bro." Sadie said, hugging me.

"Hey," I said, then looked to Logan.

We shook hands and greeted each other.

"Connor, this is Isaac and Faye. They're Logan's friends, and now mine as well." Sadie said, beaming.

I smiled at her and nodded.

"I'm so glad to hear that," I said.

I really was.

I am so proud of my little sister.

"Your sister is awesome," the guy, Isaac, said.

The girl, Faye, laughed and nodded.

"You should've seen the dare she gave Isaac the other day! It was awesome! She made him..." Faye continued to explain the dare, but all I could focus on was Isaac and Logan.

They were both looking at my sister with smiles on their faces. I knew exactly what they were thinking. They both liked my sister, a lot. I smiled at the thought, but then frowned slightly at the thought of my sister being stuck in a love triangle. Those only brought pain.

"It was so gross, I can't believe Faye made her do that!" Logan laughed, pointing at Sadie.

"What did she make you do?" I asked Sadie.

She chuckled.

"She dared me to lick Logan's hand." she said.

"What did it taste like?" Finley asked, a disgusted expression on her face.

I smiled at her, and then looked back to Sadie.

"I don't know, like soap. He must've just washed his hands or something." she laughed.

Finley doubled over laughing. I watched her in awe, that is until I saw blood trickling down her nose.

"Stop laughing, Sadie get a tissue!" I yelled and tried to get up.

"Connor!" Sadie yelled at me as I got up.

"Get the tissue box!" I yelled back.

I got to Finley and told her to relax. She started crying, Logan backing off completely.

I'm guessing he was overwhelmed.

"Finley baby, calm down. It's okay." I said to her calmly, brushing the hair out of face and keeping her head back.

"Connor," she whimpered, her hand squeezing my knee.

I smiled at her and told her she'd be okay. Sadie rushed to me with a tissue. I quickly wiped up the blood pouring from her nose.

"Get Belinda!" I yelled at anyone who would listen.

Isaac rushed out of the room and yelled for Belinda. She came rushing in and took hold of the situation. She told Isaac to help me get back to my bed. I didn't want to, but Belinda needed space to work. Isaac sat me down on my bed and sat down next to me. Sadie was comforting Logan, who liked like he was crying. His back was facing us and he had his hand over his face, his shoulder shaking slightly. I felt a tear roll down my cheek.

"She's going to be okay, Connor." Faye said, sitting on my other side.

"I know," I said quietly, my eyes not leaving Finley.

After a while, Finley was alright and Belinda told her to rest. As Belinda left the room, Logan turned around and walked to his sister. His eyes were red and puffy. Faye gasped when she saw his face and Isaac stiffened and swallowed hard at the sight of him.

"I'm guessing Logan doesn't cry much?" I asked Isaac beside me.

Isaac turned to me.

"He has no problem with crying, but he seldom does. He only cries when something really upsets or overwhelms him. In this case, the latter." he said quietly.

Sadie walked up to me and sniffed. I sighed and pulled her into my arms.

"It's okay, Princess. We're all fine." I told her.

She smiled at me.

"Yes, we all are. Please take it easy, I don't want anything to happen to you." she asked,

I nodded and smiled at her.

"I promise." I said, kissing her forehead.

"It's all my fault..." we heard Logan whisper to his sister.

"No it's not, Logan. None of this is your fault." Finley whispered back.

Logan blinked away stray tears and placed her head on her bed by her stomach. Finley placed her hands on his head.

After a while, Finley fell asleep. Sadie and I were talking to Logan, Isaac and Faye. They mentioned a weekend road trip and I couldn't help but smile.

"Do you think we should still go, what if something happens to you guys?" Faye asked, gesturing to Finley and I.

I shrugged.

"We'll be fine. Finley just got a bit worked up today. She didn't sleep well last night either. We're fine." I said.

Faye nodded and smiled.

"So we're all still going?" she asked the group.

They all nodded,

"Awesome." she said with a smile.

It went silent for a while, only Finley's soft snores could be heard. Then suddenly, I yawned.

"Okay guys, let's leave the two of them to get some rest." Sadie said, walking toward me.

I smiled at her.

"I am tired." I said to her.

She gave me a sad smile and hugged me tightly.

"I love you, Connor." she mumbled into my shoulder.

"I love you too, Princess. Take care of yourself over the weekend, hey? Oh, and no funny business." I said, pointing at her.

She laughed.

"Don't laugh, I'm not joking. I saw how Isaac and Logan look at you, they like you." I said.

She smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, I suspected it." she said.

I tapped her nose and kissed her forehead.

"Love you," I said.

She smiled.

"Love you," she said, getting up and walking away.

I turned to look at Finley. Her hand was being held by Logan's. He was looking down at her with so much concern it hurt to look at them.

"Hey Logan?" I called him.

He looked up at me. I smiled at him.

"It's okay, dude. She's okay." I said carefully.

He smiled at me.

"I know, I'm just overwhelmed." he said.

I nodded.

"It'll be okay," I said.

"Yeah," he said, getting up and kissing Finley's forehead.

"Bye," I said.

He waved goodbye to me and then they all left.

"Connor?" Belinda said as she entered the room.

I smiled at her.

"I know you're wanting to sleep, but I need to ask you something." she said, a sad expression taking over her facial features.

"Sure, go ahead." I said.

She smiled at me sadly and then sat down on my bed.

"I need you to promise me that you'll be strong in the next few months, okay?" she asked me.

I squinted at me.

"What do you mean? Is it Finley?" I asked her, my heart sinking.

She sighed and looked to Finley.

"Her immune system is collapsing. She's not doing too well. We're trying our hardest to keep her alive for as long as possible, but we can only do that if she really takes it easy." she said.

I remained silent, taking in this information. I didn't think her time would be coming so soon. She's only had Leukaemia for a year, I've had it for 3 years, how come I haven't died yet?

"That's where you come in, Connor. I need you to make sure she takes it easy, but don't over-exert yourself either. For instance, no more walking." she said with a slight smile.

I looked down and squeezed my eyes shut.

"I know this is hard, Connor, but we need to do this to help her." she said.

I nodded, biting my lip.

"I just wanted to hold her..." I said, looking into Belinda's eyes.

Her eyes held sympathy and sorrow.

"I know, honey, I know. I'll talk to doctor's about it, but I doubt anything will change. The only thing you'll be able to do is hold hands for now." she said and got up.

I sighed and looked to Finley.

I can't believe this is happening...

"Get some rest, Connor. The doctor is doing check-ups tomorrow," she said.

"Not again," I smiled.

"Yes, again. Get some rest." she smiled as she turned to walk away.

"Bye," I said.

I sighed and laid down, turning on my side so I was facing Finley. I blinked a few times before I felt myself falling asleep.

She's okay, she's going to be okay.

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Hey guys!

I was up all night writing this for you, so I hoped you enjoyed it.

I thought that it would be cool if I did Connor's POV since we never see what happens when Sadie isn't at the hospital. This was a little bit of in-tell of what happens in their daily lives.

If you look at the playlist for this book, you'll see that Secret Love Song by Little Mix ft. Jason Derulo is up there.

Don't you think that song suits Connor and Finley perfect?

Comment what you think below.

Also comment which of the boys, Isaac or Logan, you think should win Sadie's heart and vote if you liked the chapter.

Thanks for reading, I love you all.

Love, Megs :) 

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