18

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ISABELLA

Of course, he'd be here. He is Jasper's best friend.

I stand there staring at the back of the complex next to us. I can't look him in the eyes right now. He left me without a reason and didn't contact me until now, two days later. Am I supposed to jump right back into his arms? How do I know he won't pull a stunt like this again?

"Bell," he says. "I don't know where to start."

"Why don't you start by telling me where you got those bruises?"

He doesn't speak right away. "Tuesday night, I was at the gym. Everything was fine until I heard the guys talking about that game we used to play." I wince at the memories. "I didn't get involved until Noel brought you up."

And now I'm looking at him.

"What did he say?" I ask without hesitating.

His face twists into a nervous look. "Bell."

I take a step closer to him. "What did he say, Miles?"

"He retold what I—" He inhales, turning his gaze to the building. Fear and pain flood his face and his voice quiets down. "He just repeated what I said about you back then."

Oh.

"Bell, I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I reassure him, letting myself smile meekly. "I forgave you for that a while ago."

"That's why I acted childish the other day." The thought of the other night makes me wish the earth could open up and swallow me whole at this moment.

"Because you felt guilty?"

"Yeah." He shakes his head. "I couldn't take it. I felt like I betrayed you. I didn't mean what I said, I didn't even know you personally, not that it makes it right." He takes a step closer to me. "But if I had known you, I never would have said any of those things."

"I know, Miles." I breathe. "So is that why you got in a fight with him?"

"Well, yes, and no. He told all the guys we were together, which I don't know how he found out, then asked if he could take a turn on you in bed, and that's when I flipped out."

My stomach twists into a knot at the thought of Noel talking about me like that in front of a bunch of guys. He definitely deserved it. Without thinking, I reach my hand up and gently run my fingers across Miles' bruised lip. He instantly closes his eyes, because of my touch.

"Bell, I'm sorry."

"I know you are," is all I say. I am not ready to forgive him yet; he needs to work for it.

The rest of the night consisted of awkward small talk between Miles and me and a lot of shots. When we finally joined everyone else back downstairs, I realized Lucas had gone. I texted to see where he went, upset at myself for ditching him like that. He told me he had things to do and not to worry about it.

I feel bad, we're obviously only friends, but I don't want him to think I'm using him to get through my tough times with Miles. He was my shoulder to cry on when I needed one.

As for Miles, I can tell he still feels bad about what happened, but I don't mind. He should feel bad. I know he was trying to be kind, but never choose what's best for someone else. You aren't them. You do not get to make that decision. He did it for himself, not me.

"Another?" Addy drunkenly questions, pushing a shot of vodka towards me. She is sitting on Jasper's lap and her dress is a contorted mess, but every time I try to help her she gets mad and says she's pretty the way she is. I don't think she realizes I'm not calling her ugly, I'm trying to save her boob from popping out of her dress.

I shake my head and push it back to her. "I've had enough, I don't feel like getting drunk tonight."

She shrugs her shoulders, bringing the cup to her lips. "Suit yourself!" I watch her dump the shot into her mouth and slam the cup back down on the table, causing Jasper to laugh.

I feel Miles place his hand on my shoulder. I swiftly look up at him; his brown eyes burn into mine. "Do you want to go home? I can drive you. I didn't drink."

I look back over at Addy, who is now swinging her arms in the air to the music. Yeah, I definitely don't want to get in the car with her, plus she is probably staying here with Jasper anyway, so I might as well let Miles take me home.

"Sure," I say, standing. Before we head out, I give Addy the rundown of what's going on even though she doesn't care and won't remember.

The car ride is just as awkward as the elevator ride up to my apartment. It's like that feeling after you just had a big fight with your parents and have to go back downstairs to get something, then you just awkwardly stand there in their presence. Yeah, that's Miles and me.

"Thanks for driving me home." I smile as we approach my door.

"Yeah, no problem." He clears his throat as I dig my keys out. "Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to come to my place for dinner tomorrow night." Dinner with Miles? Would it be okay to go after what has happened between us? I feel like it's too soon.

"Well," he cuts into my thoughts, "I was going to ask Addison and Jasper if they wanted to join too, I think it would be fun."

If Addy and Jasper are going, I think I'll be okay. "Yeah, it would be."
"So you're in?" he says, shock lacing his words.

"I'm in, but that doesn't mean you're off the hook, bud." A small pout plays on his lips, causing me to roll my eyes. He's such a child sometimes.

I step into my apartment. "How can I make it up to you, Bell?" he questions.

"I don't know," I say sassily. "Surprise me, Cunningham."

A grin fills his chiseled face, showing off his adorable dimples. "I will, Beauty. I promise I won't let you down."

His words make me turn crimson red and I try my best to hide it. Gosh, I want to be mad at him; I want to throw a fit and tell him he screwed up big time and that he won't get away with this so easily, but I can't. As much as I try, I can't seem to stay mad at him. He makes me feel so calm and untroubled.

When I first met him in my freshman year of college, I despised him. He was the boy my dad told me to stay away from. But when he saved me from Jake that April night, I knew he wasn't who I thought he was.

Yeah, he may have been a dick to me prior to that, but he showed me a different side of him that night. A side I didn't know he had to him.

As much as my heart is telling me to just fall for him, my mind is telling me to watch out because he can still break my heart.

MILES

Baby steps, Cunningham, baby steps, I say to myself as I walk away from Bell's door. She will forgive you in time. But do you even deserve to be forgiven? You broke the poor girl's heart when she needed you the most, you're an asshole.

Having to tell her about what transpired at the gym was the hardest thing. I was such a different person back then. I did anything to fit in, even though I was already the leader of the group. I felt like I had to be a dick in order not to let them down, and I definitely was one.

I was the shittiest person.

As I'm walking into my apartment, my phone rings. I dig it out, hoping it's Bell, just to see it's my dad, great. I'm not in the mood to be yelled at, but I know if I don't answer, that would end up making things worse.

I take a deep breath before hitting answer and hold the phone up to my ear. "Hello."

"Miles, hello," my dad says firmly.

"Do you need something?" I question, trying to be as polite as possible.

"Do you not remember the deal we made?" he says gruffly.

"I've been busy studying for exams, I don't remember."

He sighs. "You promised you'd come down and attend this upcoming meeting with me about the cooperation on Sunday. Miles, it's the best option for you. I'm really tired of the silly doctor stuff."

Of-fucking-course. "Excuse me, but those silly doctors save lives."

"Well, none of them are doing a good enough job on your mother." I hear him mutter under his breath, causing me to grimace at the thought. He's right, but it's not their fault they can't help her.

"Dad, I know you want me to work for you." I exhale, perching myself on my bed. "I even attended the classes I need in order to become the CEO, so I could at any point in time. But don't you understand? That's not what I want to do."

He scoffs. "You're one selfish son of a bitch, you know that?"

"Dad," I say warningly.

"I will see you on Sunday, Miles. If you don't attend, you won't be happy with your consequences," he says as if I don't have a choice, and without a goodbye, he hangs up, leaving me speechless.

I know he means well, but man does he make me want to stab my eyes out with a hot poker.

It's not that I don't want to become the CEO of my dad's worldwide corporation  I just feel obligated to work at the hospital. I know he's upset by that. He has no other kids that could take on the job. However, I want to help other people because I can't help my mom. But he simply sees it as a waste.

My father wasn't always like this, he used to be that stereotypical dad that would take me to ball games, buy me bikes and skateboards, stay up late playing airplane with me, and most of all loved me. But ever since my mom got sick, he turned into a different person. Just like Noel, you could say that I have some daddy issues myself.

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QOTD: Do you hold grudges or do you forgive? 

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