17| tragic truth

(a/n beware... there are major shallison feels in this chapter! be prepared 😊)

"Allie, please open up your door!" My mom says softly, "trust me, we didn't want to have to do this to you! But we thought its what's best for the family."

I give in and open up the door. "And how am I supposed to tell Shawn?" I ask, tears streaming down my face, "How is he going to feel that I'm suddenly not going a week before he leaves?"

"Honey I'm sure he'll understand,"

"Oh, I know he'll understand. That's the kind of person he is. But I won't see him until Easter, Mom! That's 3 months. Three whole months without seeing him might just about lose my mind!"

"Awe honey, I'm sure it'll go buy fast," she says sympathetically, pulling me into a hug.

"Mom, I don't know what I'm going to do. My grandma is fighting cancer and might die," I almost choke on the word, "and he's not even going to be here to help me through it, and-" I start crying more and more.

"I think you need to get some sleep. I know it's early, but I knew you wouldn't take this news well. And you've had a rough week with exams, too." she comforts me, "Are you hungry? You didn't eat much for dinner,"

"No, thanks, I'll just go to bed," I smile though it hurts.

"Goodnight sweetie,"

"Goodnight mom," I say, and she starts to walk back downstairs. "And Mom?" she looks back. "Thank you."

-

No matter how much I try, I can't sleep a wink. I keep crying and I keep thinking about how I will possibly break this news to Shawn. I keep running through all the possibilities in my head.

At some point I must've fallen asleep, because I wake up to loud singing coming from downstairs. It sounds like Maddy. Why does Maddy have to sing out loud all the time? I shove my pillow over my ears to try and block it out, but it doesn't work.

I decide to take my phone off my nightstand and text her.

To: Maddy

would you please shut up? I'm trying to sleep! 😭

From: Maddy

First of all, it's 11am, why are you still sleeping? Second, what are you talking about? I'm at the mall... 😂

To: Maddy

Oh, oops, sorry Madds. Someone's singing downstairs and I'm tired so I thought it was you? Ugh I guess I'll have to go down 🙄

From: Maddy

Sorry, there's nothing I can do for you from here 😂

To: Maddy

It's okay, have fun at the mall ❤️

From: Maddy

Thanks!

I'm already pretty much awake now, although I'm still really tired, so I go downstairs to tell whoever it is to shut up so I can sleep.

Once I get down there I rub my eyes and say, "Can you pleeeeeease be quiet? I'm trying to-" then I see Shawn standing in the kitchen making pancakes. "Shawn? Hi babe, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, baby girl, did I wake you?" He says, walking over.

"Yes! I thought it was Maddy so I texted her to shut up!" I laugh.

"Oh."'he laughs, walking over to me and holding my hands, "Should I be offended that you thought I sounded like a girl?"

I blush. "No! I'm so tired, and I guess my instincts just told me it was her because it usually is," I laugh.

"It must be a younger sister thing, Aaliyah does it all the time, it's so annoying," he rolls his eyes, " but apparently I do it too." We both laugh.

"So why exactly are you in my house, alone, making pancakes?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows and giggling.

"Oh, yeah." he chuckles, "Your parents needed to go run some errands so your mom called me and asked me to come over because she said you had a rough night. And that you'd probably want me to come anyways."

"Well I'm glad you're here," I smile, and go on my tiptoes to reach his lips. He bends down and we kiss for awhile. God, I'm gonna miss this. How am I supposed to tell him?

"Are you hungry?" he asks, pulling away.

"Me? Hungry? Always!" I laugh, "But it can wait"

I pull him back in and we kiss again, but he pulls away, yet again, leaving our foreheads pressed together, both of us breathing heavily.

"I actually said that because I'm starving," He smirks, "and those pancakes are probably burnt by now" That's when I realize I'm still in my pjs and not wearing a bra.

I sigh. "I'm cold now," I whine. "Let me go get a sweater first." I walk upstairs. Really, this was just an excuse to go put on a bra. Once I get to my room, I put one on, then grab my oversized sweater, and throw it over my head. I quickly brush my teeth on the way down, because no one likes morning breath, and run back downstairs.

"Incoming!" I yell as I approach Shawn. I jump onto his back, piggy-back style. I rest my chin on his shoulder.

"Ally what are you doing?" He asks, laughing slightly.

"Nothinggggg" I slur the ing at the end.

"You're the weirdest person I've ever met." He laughs, shaking his head.

"But you love meeee"

"I try," he sighs, then chuckles.

"Hey!" I shout, slapping his arm.

"I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding," he laughs. He continues making the pancakes with me on his back.

I start to leave wet kisses on his neck and cheek. "Allie, stop! I'm going to spill something!" he laughs. I continue. He moans. I laugh. "Allie," He moans. This time, when I go to kiss his cheek, he turns his head so our lips touch. We both laugh.

"Okay if you could just calm yourself and resist the temptation for one minute while I finish-" I don't listen to him, I just keep going. "You're so annoying." he rolls his eyes.

I rest my chin on his shoulder again. "Finally!" I hear him whisper. I laugh.

"But you like it," I smile devilishly.

"I hate you." he mumbles, laughing.

"No you don't!"

"Okay the pancakes are finished." He grabs the plate of pancakes and stops. "Allie, that's your cue to get down!" he laughs.

"But I don't want toooooooo" I whine.

"But you have toooooooo" he mocks me.

"No I don't, this is a free country." I giggle.

"Do you want food?"

"Ugh, fine." I jump off his back.

"Why are you so lovey-dovey today? This isn't normally like you," he smiles.

"I don't know." I shrug. But I do know. I want to make the most out of the last week we have together before he leaves. And because I need to tell him today about the tour and my grandma.

We each grab a couple of pancakes off of the pile, putting on whipped cream, berries, and maple syrup. I also pour myself a glass of milk from the bag in the fridge. Yes, here in Canada we drink milk out of bags, not jugs.

"So what do you want to do today?" Shawn asks.

"Nothing, I'm so tired." I groan.

"That sounds pretty good to me." he smirks.

I basically inhale my food, because I just want to spend time with Shawn. He is still eating though. I put my dishes in the sink, then go over to the counter and pull myself up. I slowly kick my legs, waiting for Shawn to finish.

After what feels like forever, he finally finishes and goes to put his plate in the sink. "Here, I'll put that away," I smile, taking it from his hand and putting both of our plates in the dishwasher.

"So what do you want to do?" he asks.

"Let's just cuddle on the couch." I suggest. I've been pushing it off, but I really need to tell him. We go to the living room, and sit on the couch. I lay on his chest. I start to think about how I'm going to break the bad news to him. Tears sting my eyes just thinking about it.

He must notice that something is wrong, because he pulls my chin up with his hands to make me look at him, "Baby girl, what's wrong?"

Here we go. I sit up, so I am now sitting in his lap, and I turn to face him. It's now or never, Allison, come on.

The tears are already falling down my cheeks. I see the look of pain in Shawn's eyes seeing me like this. "I'm sorry," I laugh through it.

"It's okay, baby girl, take your time." he gives a sympathetic smile.

"Alright. So last night, my mom informed me that my grandma, who I'm really close with, she... she was diagnosed with cancer not too long ago." I start crying more. "And... my mom wants me to be here incase anything happens..." I can see him getting upset, as if he knows where it's going. "So, she told me- she told me that it wouldn't be wise for me t-to go on tour with you,"

"Oh, Allie," he says, pulling me in for a hug, "I'm so sorry, baby." I can tell that he is crying a little bit now, too. It literally kills me to see him cry. It makes me want to cry even more. Then he pulls me back, hands on my shoulders. "You need to stay here with your family. I completely understand, baby. I love you so much, and I only want what's best for you and your family. But I'm going to miss you a ton."

"I'm going to miss you too," I cry, "I've been thinking about this all night, and I just can't imagine being without you. I keep telling myself, it's only three months, it'll be okay. But we hadn't even met three months ago."

"Okay this is actually really depressing. Let's do something, go to laser quest, maybe!" Shawn smiles, holding my hands.

"Okay," I smile back, "I just can't believe this, I was so excited to go on tour with you." I frown.

"I'm so sorry, Allie. For your grandma. But as for the tour, it's only 3 short months. We can face time every day."

"You're right. Let me go get some clothes and makeup on, so I at least look half decent when we go out in public." I laugh awkwardly.

"You don't need makeup," he smiles. "You're beautiful, Allie. Just the way you are."

I blush, and I get those familiar butterflies that I get when I'm around him. "Shawn stop it"

"I mean it, you're the most beautiful girl I've ever met," he smiles, that goofy smile that he does when he's really happy.

"Well you're obviously the most good-looking guy I've ever met," We kiss for awhile, then I come to realization. "It's, like 4:00 now, if we're going to go somewhere we should do it soon."

"Okay," he smiles.

I walk up to my room, and figure out how I'm gonna fix this mess of a face. I decide to put on black leggings and a baby blue adidas sweater, and matching vans. As for my face, it's not as red and blotchy as I thought it would be, but I use concealer to fix it up. Then I add some mascara, and head back downstairs. Shawn is sitting on the couch on his phone.

"You ready?" he asks, I nod. "Let's go then!"

-

a/n this chapter was almost 2000 words omg! usually mine are only 1000-1500 😂

hope you guys like this! I almost cried writing this omg the kitchen scene was just 😍 (that's the closest I get to smut lol)

love you guys! vote, comment, and share!

Emma 💕