About a half an hour later, Gary and Crystal were already pissin' drunk. Wyatt was drunk, but not as his two friends were. Lauren and Lisa were the only ones who remained sober.

"Fats, man," Gary slurred taking a cigar out of his mouth. "Let me tell you my story, man. Last year, I was insane for this crazy little th-grade bitch."

Lauren groaned next to him, hearing the story a thousand times.

"Crazy insane?" the man on the other side of Gary asked.

"I was nuts for the woman, man," Gary continued. "I'm tellin' the truth here. I was nuts for the girl. And what she did to me was the big titties she had."

Crystal laughed, but Lauren cringed.

"She wouldn't have had to worry about no titties for the rest of her life."

"That's the truth, baby," Wyatt said from his spot.

"I called her every night for like a month. I'm talking devotion, man."

"Every damn night?" Mitch asked.

"Every night, Mitch. I ain't playin' with you," Gary said, putting his cigar in.

"On the telephone?"

Gary made a face before pulling out his cigar again. "What's this boy talkin' about, on the telephone, man? Explain it to him. We know there's a telephone."

"But he hung up on her," Crystal slurred.

"The chick with those big titties?" someone asked.

"You know what the bitch did to me?" Gary said.

"Lay it on me."

"Take this shit and listen to what she did to me. She-"

"She kneed him in the nuts and called him fagot in front of everybody," Lauren explained.

"She did what?!" people exclaimed.

"Bitch kneed your nuts?"

"Bitch kneed my nuts!" Gary exclaimed before placing his cigar in his mouth and muttered something.

"In the family jewels?" the man next to Gary asked.

"In the family jewels, man. Broke my heart in two."

"She broke more than your heart." This earned a nod from everyone.

"Well, you can forget that other one. You got this fine jewel sitting by you," Mitch said, motioning to Lauren.

She was about to object when Gary slung his arm around her.
"Ain't that the truth, baby? That's the plain truth!"

Gary leaned forward to high five Mitch only to fall to the ground. Lauren gasped while Crystal was laughing so hard her started snorting.

"Party's over," Lisa announced.

Lauren and Lisa got up to help Gary to his feet while he drunk talked to people. As for Crystal who was still giggling, Wyatt stood up and got the brunette to her feet, stumbling slightly.

"Woo, baby. You know I love you..." Gary sung to Lauren who snickered at her friend.

***

Once the group, got to the car. The girls were in the back with Gary as Wyatt was driving and Lisa was in the front.

"You know, I really shouldn't be driving," Wyatt told Lisa.

"Listen, I appreciate it. I don't really feel like driving," Lisa said.

Gary sat forward. "Okay, forget it. I'll drive. Give me the keys! Give me the keys!"

Crystal sat forward too. "No, I wanna drive," she said, slapping Gary's hands.

"Are they gonna be all right?" Wyatt asked as Lauren pushed her friends back into their seats.

"I don't know. I warned them about that blind dog bourbon," Lisa answered.

"Hey, he don't have a license, Lisa," Gary pointed out.

"He's right. I don't even have a learner's permit."

"Hey, let's scout another party, my dudes!" Crystal exclaimed.

"What are you gonna tell Chet about me?" Lisa asked Wyatt.

"Nothing."

"Nothing, Wyatt? That's not very realistic," Lauren said, pushing Gary's hands away from poking at her face.

"I'm just trying to concentrate on the road," Wyatt muttered.

"You better concentrate a little harder. You're about running a red light," Lisa said, causing Lauren's eyes to widen.

"Oh, shit!" the wasted teens in the back exclaimed.

The car swerved causing Gary to fall into Lauren's lap as Crystal cheered at the swerve, but died down when Wyatt got the car under control.

"I hate that stuff! I always hated that shit!" Gary ranted causing Lauren to start laughing. "I never listen to it! I hate this car! I hate it!"

"Are you okay?" Lisa asked slightly chuckling.

Gary sat up. "Well, my nuts are halfway up my ass. Other than that, I'm perfect," he sassed.

"We're fine, Lis," Lauren said, still laughing as Gary started hug her tightly.

"Think of what you'll need to do about Chet. He's one serious idiot," Lisa told Wyatt.

"No kidding," Lauren said.

***

As everyone was waiting outside for Wyatt to get everything sorted out with Chet, Crystal stumbled into the living-room.

"Um, I was kind of counting on you to be human about this," Wyatt told his brother.

Chet grabbed Wyatt's collar, pushing him back until his back hit the wall. Crystal clenched her jaw and walked (stumbled) towards the two boys.

"Here's the bottom line, Wyatt. I'm telling Mom and Dad everything. And I'm even considering making up some shit," Chet said.

'Asshole dick,' Crystal thought.

"All right, Chet. Name your price," Wyatt told him.

Chet started to brush out Wyatt's jacket. "$175 and zero cents, cash...New bills, crisp and clean, in my wallet by A.M."

"Thank you," Wyatt sighed in relief.

Chet grabbed Wyatt's face. "Hey, what are big brothers for?" he knocked Wyatt's head back into the wall. "See you upstairs," Chet called as Wyatt rubbed his forehead.

Crystal walked to Wyatt and grabbed his hand.

"Are you okay?" Crystal asked.

Wyatt nodded. "Yeah, fine, Cryst."

Crystal glared at the stairs after Chet.

Outside, Gary had his head leaned on Lauren's head, she moved around a little uncomfortable as his hair was tickling her neck.

"Gary, can you please get off me?" Lauren pleaded.

"Is that a new shampoo?" Gary asked out of the blue.

Lauren raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Yeah, it is. Strawberry," she told him.

Gary sniffed her hair one last time before lifting his head up. "You should put it in more often."

"Maybe," Lauren replied.

Gary wrapped his arms around her in a hug.

"Gar..." Lauren trailed, pushing off of Gary's chest.

"I'm glad I have you in my life," Gary said, hugging the small blonde tighter.

Lauren stopped trying to pull out of the hug and tried to ignore the heat rushing in her cheeks.

***

Lauren helped Crystal upstairs as Wyatt did the same. The drunk teens saying random things, getting their sober friends to laugh and stumble a bit.

"The boozehounds return," Chet chuckles watching the teenagers. "What a joke! Hi, girls." Chet took a puff of his cigar, blowing the smoke into Gary's face who held back a small gag. "Feeling kind of queasy? How about a nice greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray?" Chet teased.

Gary reached out, touching Chet's face. The rest of the group started snickering under their breaths.

"You have a scary face," Crystal stated towards Chet.

When Gary removed his hand, Crystal and Gary start laughing, Gary hid his face in Lauren's neck.

"They puke, you die," Chet told Wyatt.

"They're not laughing at you, Chet," Wyatt says.

"Yes, I am," Crystal said. "I always laugh at Chet-y."

"Did you tell Chet about the woman we made tonight?" Gary asked, slightly slurring.

Wyatt pushed Gary into Lauren.  "He's crazy. He doesn't know what he's talking about."

"No shit," Chet replied.

Gary slung his arm around Lauren, looking at Chet. "No shit, Chet."

"You donkey dicks couldn't get laid in a morgue," Chet remarks before looking at the girls who visibly cringed. "Unless these beauties want to do that for you."

"You're absolutely right," Wyatt nodded.

"You're absolute right, Chet," Gary mocked stepping forward.

"Gary," Wyatt and Lauren tried to call back.

Chet started to fake gag and make faces as if he was going to puke until he started laughing at the youngsters' expression before he went in the direction of his room.

Wyatt continued to pull Gary as Lauren did the same with Crystal.

"He's an asshole. Look at his haircut. Anybody with a haircut like that is an asshole," Gary rambled.