CHAPTER 26 - LOST

"Zuko! Zuko, wait!"

He doesn't even look over his shoulder, but his ostrich-horse speeds up. I speed up, as well, even though both me and my ostrich-horse could use a rest. Zuko's dust sprays in my face, and I cough, closing my eyes tightly.

"Zuko, please, I- aaarrh!"

I tilt sideways in the saddle as my ride swerves to avoid a falling rock. Falling rock? Rocks!

They pelt the ground around me- it's an avalanche! I scream Zuko's name as my ostrich-horse drags me through a narrow cleft in the cliff wall.

I don't want to die!

She stumbles over a rock and goes down; I fly through the air into darkness.

________

When I open my eyes, it's to the flicker of firelight. I sit up slowly, clutching my head to ease the rush of nausea and pain. I must've hit my head pretty hard, but I can't remember...

"You're awake."

I gasp and jerk around, then cry out as my head starts to pound. Zuko is at my side in an instant, forcing me back to the ground. He's lit one of the two torches we bought in Gaipan, and it's leaning against a mossy wall.

"Where are we? How far is it to Omashu?"

He stares at me for a long time, and there's something in his eyes that I don't understand. It's almost like worry, maybe guilt. But that's impossible.

He is my enemy!

"What?" His stare is making me uncomfortable. He shakes his head.

"Nothing. You need to rest. You- you took a nasty fall. Your ostrich-horse is dead."

"What? I- I don't remember..." I glare at the ground, hating myself, hating my life. How many times has this man, whom I call enemy, saved my life? And I remember so little of it, of anything.

I'm not worth saving.

"Kara-" He sighs and looks away, runs his fingers through his short hair.

I can't take the silence anymore. "Yeah?"

He clenches his jaw, but meets my eyes. Again there is something in his eyes that is like guilt, worry. Fear.

"Why- why don't you remember things? What- what happened to you?" He speaks the words as if he's forcing them out, and I flinch, look away. Pain washes over me, and I find myself talking. I don't know why- there's just this part of me that wants- needs- him to know the truth.

"I- I don't know. I woke up in the water cave several months ago. That's the last thing I remember. Aki found me and took me in. She named me- Kara was her mother's name. I- I don't know my real name or where I'm from or... or who my family is. And no one came looking for me, ever. I'm alone. Even in my head- I forget things all the time. I don't know who I am.

"That- that's why I... that's why I have to hate you. Because I don't know who I am and I can't... I just can't..." I stop. I can't see him anymore, can't see anything. I'm sobbing uncontrollably- I can't believe how good it feels to finally tell him the truth.

I feel his arms come around me. His heat fills me, comforts me. I bury my head in his neck, clench my fingers in his shirt.

And he holds me. For a long, long time. Even after I've stopped crying.

Until the torch is nothing more than an ember and the darkness is so close that he has to let go, so that he can light a flame to the other torch.

"I- I'm so sorry, Zuko. I don't mean to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt anyone, I just... I just wanted to- to-"

"Shh." He sinks his fingers into my hair, pulls me close again. He breathes into my head, and I've never felt so warm and safe and... and wanted. Loved.

For a moment I try to call up the chant, the one that will distance me from him. But I can't. There is no going back from this. Zuko and I are in this together, for better or worse. Till death do us part.

No matter who I am. Who he is. Who we will ever be.

I pull back. "I'm so sorry, Zuko. I- I didn't mean any of those things I said. I just thought that if I could make you hate me then- then I wouldn't want you to stay. Then I could pretend that we're enemies and that everything could go back to the way it was. But I nev-"

"Shh." He puts a hand over my mouth. He is smiling at me.

"I understand."

There are no two better words in the world. I throw my arms around him, bury my face in his neck again. He smells like travel, smoke, and dust. But that's okay. As long as he's here with me. As long as he isn't giving up on me like my family did. Whoever they were.

He hugs me, hard. Crushes me to him. Then he lets go. I smile at him, brush my hands across my eyes and cheeks to get rid of the salt streaks. He smiles back. He has the most wonderful smile.

"We should find a way out of here before we ruin another torch."

I nod. Then what he said hits me.

"Find?"

He nods, sighs. "When you fell it was because of an avalanche. Your ostrich-horse saved your life- she flung you in here when she went down under it. It was a miracle that I managed to get in here too, right before the entrance caved in under the force. I don't know where we are, but I did some searching and there are tunnels branching off of this- there's got to be another way out."

I nod. "Okay." I stand, pulling him with me. "What're we waiting for, let's go! I've always wanted to explore a bunch of dark, moldy secret tunnels."

He laughs, actually laughs! It's an amazing sound, deep but not rumbling. It fills the cavern, and I laugh with him, wondering why I've never tried to make him laugh before. I resolve to do it more often.

We set off down the tunnel, the torch in Zuko's hand lighting our way. His ostrich-horse follows behind us docilely, and I take a moment to ask the spirits to guide the one that saved me safely.

The tunnels stretch out before and behind us, dark as pitch except where our torch lights the way. We walk and walk and walk as our little flame slowly dies down, burning its way down the shaft of the torch.

Soon we'll have to rely on Zuko's firebending. That's alright, though- his bending will probably be brighter than the flimsy torch, anyway.

Every time we come to a fork we take the right one, but we hit dead-ends more often than forks. Then we have to backtrack, try to find our way back to where we were.

It doesn't take us long to realize that something is wrong.

There's something funny about these tunnels.

There's a rumble in the distance- the earth shakes and I flinch, huddling by Zuko's side. If these tunnels collapse we will die in here.

We're going to die in here anyway.

I look at Zuko. "The tunnels.... is it just me, or are they... changing?"

He frowns as he studies the pile of rocks we've come up against.

"It's not just you." He looks down at me, worry in his eyes. I bite my lip.

"We're lost, aren't we?" He just nods, and I clench his arm tighter, shivering even through his firebender warmth.

We are going to die down here.

____

Yaaay! COMMENT and vote, y'all!

-Eon