He's carrying me!

Nang marealize iyon ay agad akong nagpumiglas. How dare he carry me like I'm a sack of rice?

"Ibaba mo ako!" Inis kong saad at pinalo-palo siya.

"Sshh, we're going home." Aniya nang hindi man lang natitinag.

Gosh, I hate that he's so strong! I hate him! Hindi ko tuloy nagawang bumaba hanggang makarating kami sa bahay ng kaibigan niya.

Marahan niya akong inilapag sa sofa pagkarating. I immediately glared at him, wala naman siyang reaksyon at yumuko lang para magkalebel ang paningin namin.

"What's making you mad? Tell me." tanong niya sa marahang tono at tinitigan ang mukha ko, like he's trying to read my thoughts.

Mas lalong sumama ang tingin ko sa kanya.

"You carried me like I'm a sack of rice!"

He raised a brow. "Not that. I want to know what made you mad at me today... and why you didn't answer my calls."

I scoffed. "Hindi ko nga alam na tumawag ka."

Hindi naman siya nagpatinag. "Tell me. Let's do something about that."

Ako naman ang nagtaas ng kilay dahil sa sinabi niya.

Do something about that, huh? What if I tell him to get rid of that woman and date me instead? Would he do that?

Napapikit ako nang mapagtanto na napakasama ng naisip ko. Damn, I must be really drunk! I shouldn't freaking dare mention that woman!

"You can't do anything about it." I rolled my eyes.

"Kelssey." He called me again but I ignored him.

"Kelssey," pag-uulit pa niya. "We're not sleeping until you don't say what's making you mad."

I still ignored him. Bakit naman kailangan naming pag-usapan 'yon? Hindi ba't dapat magpasalamat pa siya kasi hindi ko na siya ginugulo? He should celebrate!

"Baby," he uttered, tila hirap na hirap na.

Pakiramdam ko naman ay nagsitayuan lahat ng balahibo ko sa katawan dahil sa binanggit niya.

What the hell is he doing to me?

He leaned closer and held my face. Wala naman sa sariling napababa ang tingin ko sa mga labi niya.

Suddenly, all the kisses we shared flashed into my mind. Pakiramdam ko tuloy biglang nag-init ang paligid. Damn!

"Tell me, please." He whispered as his gaze travelled to my slightly parted lips.

Napalunok ako.

Bago pa ako mawalan na naman ng kontrol sa sarili ko ay buong lakas ko siyang itinulak palayo. Surprisingly, natulak ko naman siya. That was actually a rare sight.

"I hate you! Huwag mo akong matawag-tawag na baby after you spent a day with your woman! Nakakainis ka!" Galit kong saad.

Namumungay naman ang mata niya habang nakatitig sa akin ngunit nang tila magsink-in sa kanya ang sinabi ko ay kumunot ang kanyang noo.

"Woman? What are you talking about?" He asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Akala mo ba hindi ko narinig? At ano? Magpapalusot ka pa? E kaya nga hindi ka sumama sa amin kasi nakipagkita ka sa babae mo, 'diba? You were busy with her! Tapos bigla kang magrereklamo na hindi ako sumasagot sa mga tawag mo! E ayaw ko ngang maisturbo ka! Nakakahiya naman, masyado na akong pabigat sa 'yo!" Hinihingal kong saad, napahawak pa ako sa dibdib pagkatapos.

Damn it, I couldn't control myself anymore.

He blinked his eyes thrice like he was trying to absorb what I just said. After that, I saw his lips slowly broke into a smirk, ngunit agad din iyong nawala dahil nagseryoso na naman ang mukha niya.

What was that? Did he just...

"Anong nginingiti-ngiti mo? Mukha kang gago!" I hissed and crossed my arms.

He suddenly laughed. Mangha naman akong napatulala habang nakatingin sa kanya. Tangina totoo ba 'to? Tumatawa ang yelo?

I cleared my throat.

"Anong tinatawa-tawa mo 'dyan? Stop laughing!"

Mas lalo namang lumakas ang tawa niya.

"I said stop laughing! Ano bang nakakatawa? Nothing's even funny—."

My eyes widened when he suddenly pulled me close and sealed my lips with his.

He kissed me!

I closed my eyes when I felt him knock his tongue on my lips. I parted it and he entered, tasting me like I am a sweet candy.

He smiled when he pulled away.

"Wala akong kinitang babae ngayong araw. Yes, I went out to talk to someone but that's with a guy. So stop being suspicious, unless you think I'm a gay."

I raised a brow. Paano naman ako maniniwala sa sinasabi niya? What if he's just lying? Sino ba naman ang tangang aamin?

He smirked. "I see, you're still doubting me, huh?"

Hindi ako sumagot.

"Should I call a friend then?"

Nanatili akong tahimik.

"How can I prove it to you? Tell me." He asked again, his eyes travelling to my lips again.

I unconsciously licked my lips and I heard him mutter a curse as he looked away.

"Sino si Georgia?" I asked.

His face suddenly turned grim when I mentioned that name.

See? There's something going on!

"A friend. She's a friend." He uttered but he couldn't look at me now.

I raised a brow. "Friend? Sure ka? Baka naman ex? O baka naman girlfriend—."

Muli na namang nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang agresibo niyang inatake ng halik ang labi ko. Gusto ko pang magsalita. Marami pa akong gustong sabihin at itanong, but the way he's kissing is telling me that he won't let me talk.

And I'm slowly losing my control.

Damn, this is not right, but I like it. I like his kisses, I like the way he's making my heart bit erratically.

I slowly closed my eyes as I savor his kisses. Fuck, why is he so good at it?

I let out a moan when I felt his hands on my chest, sensually massaging my mounds.

Napamura naman ako nang bumaba ang halik niya mula sa labi hanggang sa leeg ko, teasing me on my sensitive spot.

I don't know how long we kissed that night, basta ang alam ko lang, natulog akong lasing sa mga halik niya.

"Baby, wake up."

Akala ko nanaginip lang ako nang paulit-ulit iyong narinig, but when I opened my eyes, nakita ko agad si Lazarus sa harapan ko.

Gulat akong napaupo nang mapagtanto iyon.

"B-bakit?" Gulat kong tanong, hindi pa lubusang gising.

"Chill," he chuckled as he looked at me. "May pupuntahan lang tayo, we can't miss it."

Huh? Saan?

"W-where? At ngayon agad? Kagigising ko lang! H-hindi pa ako naliligo!" I uttered, still trying to process what's happening.

He smiled. "It's okay. Mabango ka pa naman."

I stared at him after he said that, and suddenly, a memory flashed into my mind.

A memory of what happened last night before we went to sleep.

Tangina, we freaking made out?

Pakiramdam ko ay namula bigla ang pisngi ko.

"Gano'n? Sige sige! Alis na! Magbibihis ako! Magtotoothbrush!" I uttered and left him.

Mabilis akong pumasok ng CR at napapikit.

Tangina, bakit? Ang landi ko naman yata! Pero siya ang unang humalik ah?

Mas lalo naman akong nahiya nang maalala ang mga sinabi ko kagabi. Like, what the hell! Ano ba ang pumasok sa isip ko at nasabi ko ang mga 'yon?

Nakakahiya!

Halos wala na akong maiharap na mukha sa kanya nang lumabas ako ng kwarto. Ni tumingin sa kanya ay hindi ko magawa. Mabuti nalang ay tahimik din siya.

We rode our car again. Hindi ko alam kung saan ba kami pupunta. Nakakacurious dahil ang aga pa, the sun was just about rise! But I didn't bother asking dahil hiyang-hiya pa rin ako sa kanya. Kaya inabala ko nalang ang sarili ko sa phone.

I checked the messages and my eyes widened to see a lot of messages from him and Olive. Bigla naman akong naguilty.

Lumipad ang tingin ko sa labas nang tumigil kami makalipas ang halos isang oras. Kinusot ko ang mga mata ko para mas makita ang paligid.

I gasped when I realized where we were. Hindi namin ito napuntahan kahapon but I know what it's called dahil bata pa lamang ako ay lagi ko na itong nakikita sa mga larawan.

Cagsawa Ruins.

"Whoa."

The sun is just starting to rise from the horizon pero gandang-ganda na ako sa paligid. The fogs are still there dahil maaga pa pero nakikita ko na ang bulkan.

"Come here." Lazarus extended his hand at dahil manghang-mangha pa ako sa tanawin ay wala sa sarili ko iyong inabot.

Agad naman akong nakaramdam ng pagkapaso no'ng tumama ang balat namin sa isa't isa.

Lazarus made me sit on the rock as we watched the majestic volcano in front of us. And if I could just capture the moment, I would've done it already.

I smiled as I watched his hand on mine. I then realized something.

I may forget other details of this moment but not this... not the warmth of his hand on mine.

"Ang ganda," nakangiti kong sabi nang tuluyan nang sumikat ang araw.

Mas lalo naming nakita ang kagandahan ng Mayon sa harapan namin. The best view is indeed early in the morning. Kung pwede lang na dito tumira para makita ko ang tanawing ito sa tuwing gigising ako araw-araw ay gagawin ko iyon.

But I know I can't. Everything is short-lived, and this too, would come to an end.

Reality is hindi ako pwedeng tumagal. A lot of things are waiting for me in Manila, and I still have a mess to fix.

Ang maisip palang iyon ay nakakapagod na, but I must do it. I must survive.

"Ang ingay ng isip."

Napatingin ako kay Lazarus dahil sa sinabi niya.

"Can you tell me what you're thinking right now? I'm really curious." He asked and lifted my chin using his other hand so he could look at me in the eye.

I wanted to look away and just say nothing, but as I looked at his hazel eyes, I had this urge to tell him what I'm really feeling.

So I did.

"Naisip ko lang na lahat pala talaga ng bagay natatapos..." I uttered. "This trip is so far really amazing, probably one of the best in my life, and it saddens me that it's soon to come to an end too." I sighed.

"We can go back here anytime." He muttered using his low voice, like he's not saying it to me but to himself.

I smiled. "Gustuhin ko man pero mahihirapan na ako. I messed up so bad, Laz. You weren't there but I know that you knew about it." Dagdag ko habang inaalala ang araw bago kami napunta ng Albay.

He didn't say anything so I continued talking.

"I failed two exams. Nakakatawa kasi parang pinatunayan ko lang sa pamilya ko na hindi ko talaga kaya ang law school. Pero siguro nga tama sila..." I paused and tried to wipe the tears that fell from my eyes.

"Pakiramdam ko rin kasi hindi para sa akin 'to. Hindi ako matalino, hindi rin ako interesado sa pag-aaral, lalo na ng mga batas na iyan." I laughed. "Pero ewan ko ba kung anong pumasok sa isip ko at sinubukan ko."

I was about to wipe my tears again but he already did. And that made me cry harder.

"I-I'm not okay, Laz. Napagtanto ko na... na ayaw ko nga ito. Ayoko ng law. But what can I do now? Pinasok ko na."

He sighed and made me look at him again.

"It's still not too late." He uttered.

Umiling ako. "I realized that I don't like law school, that it's not for me. Pero... hindi ko rin alam kung ano ba talaga ang gusto ko. I'm not even good at anything."

He shook his head.

"That's not true. There are a lot of things you're good at."

Natawa ako nang bahagya habang umiiyak pa rin.

"'Yong alin? 'Yong marunong akong sumayaw, kumanta, at mag-bake? Those were just basic skills, Laz."

His thumb gently caressed my face.

"You know how to make a song, baby. You seem to be a genius at it, trust me. And you're also hardworking." Nakangiti niyang sabi sa akin.

"Are you telling me that I should be a songwriter or a producer?" I asked.

He chuckled. "No, baby. That, of course, is for you to decide. I'm just telling you your strong points, your talent. So please don't think that you're not good at anything, because you are certainly good at something."

He fixed my hair when the wind blew.

"You're right. Maybe you're really different, but that's okay. Everyone of us is different from each other. But that's really fine. Stars don't even shine the same light."

I furrowed my brows. "But a lot of people can do what I do."

"But not all songs sound the same, and you have your own rhythm on you, baby." He whispered.

Mas lalo akong naiyak, sa mga sinasabi niya at sa pagtawag niya sa akin ng 'baby'.

Fuck, he really know how to make me cry, smile, and laugh. Weeks ago, he's like a stranger to me, but now, I could say that maybe he's the person who knows me too well.

"And you like doing that, right? Does it make you happy?" He asked.

Tumango ako. "I feel ecstatic everytime I finish doing a song."

"Follow your heart then. I know you can make it. You shouldn't be hard on yourself by doing the things you don't like."

I looked at him with my hopeful eyes.

"Do you think I can make it? Do you think I can succeed?" I asked.

"Yes, you can. I believe in you."

I looked away.

Hindi ko alam na ganito pala kasaya na marinig ang mga salitang iyon sa isang tao. Pakiramdam ko ay nabigyan ako ng lakas na gawin ang bagay na gusto ko.

But I don't know if I can do that without him.

"Will you be with me as I try?" I asked through my tears. "Will you be there to watch me achieve what my heart desires?"

He stared at me after I asked that, lips slightly parted. It looked like he's in deep thought. Akala ko ay hindi na siya sasagot, but he slowly nodded.

"I will."