"College Applications are due soon," Mom states.

At the mention of applications, my head snaps up. Immediately, I pull my attention away from my untouched dinner plate to my mothers disapproving stare. 

She's been nagging me about college apps since last June when I still had months to complete them.

I sigh, "I'll get them in by the end of the week, mom."

"Good," she states.

After a few seconds of silence, the two of us turn our attention back to our plates. Eating dinner with Eleanor is usually like this- she never really talks to me unless it's about school or getting into college. I've come to accept that that's how things with her are always going to be.

Too tired to sit here with her any longer, I eat half of my food before excusing myself to my room. I allow myself a few minutes of rest on my comfy full-size bed, before taking my homework out of my backpack.  I know that had I laid down any longer, I would have easily drifted to sleep.

Once done unpacking, I look resentfully at the pile of homework and textbooks that sits on my desk. It's only the first week of school and I'm already swamped with Ap coursework plus extracurriculars.

 I'm practically counting down the minutes until our next vacation. 

Sighing, I begin to make my way through my stack of homework. Deciding to start with Ap World History, I open up my AMSCO textbook. Two chapters in, I start yawning. If it's possible, I am even more exhausted than before. I stare at my bed longingly from across the room. 

What If I lay down for just a couple of minutes? 

No. 

You have to stay focused, Summer. Once you get into a good college and move out, you can sleep as much as you want.

Just a few months. I tell myself. Then I will be out of this house and never have to do another Ap world homework again. 

Sure, I'll still have a lot of work to do in college as well, but I'll also be free. 

Free from my mother, and free from this town. 

...

The next day, I awake at 6:00 am to the loud beeping of my alarm clock.  Immediately, I turn it off as not to upset my mother.

Getting out of bed, I yawn tiredly as I stretch my arms above my head.
I barely got any sleep last night after not finishing my homework until 3 am. Thus, I want nothing more to climb back into bed right now. 

Needing to wake my self up, I head into my bathroom. After using the toilet I wash my hands, splashing my face with cold water afterwards. 

My shoulder length, blonde hair is disheveled and crumpled, and my green eyes are adorned with dark bags. My pajamas are oversized and hang off my slim frame loosely. 

I've always thought my looks were average and I rarely thought of myself as pretty. 

 At 5'4, I am average height- some might say short. I'm thin and flat as a board, which is okay...but often times I feel more like a 11 year old boy than a girl. I blame it on the fact that I haven't had any processed, fatty, or sugary food since my dad left when I was 12.  

In conclusion, nothing about me physically stands out, and the only reason people at school know me is because I make the best grades and am in almost every club.

Sometimes it makes me sad knowing that even my dad, the most caring person in the world couldn't handle my moms obsessive and controlling ways either. I know he loved her at some point, and ironically I think she still loves him as well, yet I know better than anyone how impossible she is to live with. 

In conclusion, nothing about me physically stands out, and the only reason people at school know me is because I make the best grades and am in almost every club. 

After taking a quick shower, I get dressed, comb my hair and pack my bags for school. Unlike half the female population at my high school, I've  never worn make up. My mom says it will just make me look cheap. 

Walking down stairs, I grab an apple from the fruit bowl on the dinning room table for breakfast. 

It's still super early, the sun just now coming out.  Looking at the clock in the kitchen that reads 6:30 am, I sigh at the fact  that I have to head to school so early. 

Whatever, its almost the weekend. After this week I'll  have my college applications submitted and one less thing to worry about. 

I walk to the front door, slipping my heavy shoes on. I was surprised when my mom agreed to buy me doc martens. She usually wrinkles her nose at anything that isn't sensible and overly granny-ish. At least clothing is somethingI have control over. 

Closing the door behind me, I walk out of the house, taking bites from my apple as I go. 

The walk to school is 20 minutes, but I don't mind. This is how I've always gone to school. 

I arrive at school, a couple minutes to 7. Emma, one of my student council buddies is arriving as well. 

"Hey Summer!" She smiles at me warmly. 

"Hi," I try to reciprocate her cheeriness , but fail. 

Emma is super nice and pretty and I've always envied her since we were kids. 

She has thick, brown hair and always dresses in pretty, soft, delicate outfits. she might seem quiet, but she's not at all. Once you get to know her you realize that shes a really confident and outgoing person as well as super kind.

The two of us walk into the building, which is empty aside from teachers who have just arrived and the janitorial staff. I feel bad knowing they have to come to work so early to clean after a bunch of ignorant teenagers. They probably are not even paid well. 

Emma and I push open the door to the SGO room. A couple other members are already there as well. They are all moving around, busy with posters for the student elections. It's not tense though, everyone seems to be smiling and laughing despite undoubtedly being stress about school, college apps, and a bunch of other stuff. 

My mom may force me to do stuff like student government, but I can't  deny the fact that It's actually kinda fun at times. Outside of this club I don't really have any friends. People know me and say 'Hi' in the halls, but I don't have any close friends that I hang out with or  turn to with my problems, which is why SGO has become sort of a safe haven. 

 Spotting a familiar puff of dark, curly hair, the two of us quietly make my way over to Emma's best friend, Mae. 

Mae is another one of my buddies from this club and her and Emma are best friends. Like Emma, she is super sweet. Though, while Emma has a very chill personality, Mae is the opposite. She's like a huge ball of energy.  

At one point I thought the three of us might become really close, but that was in middle school. My parents had just divorced and my mom became super strict. The two of them tried to include me, but I just couldn't hang out with them when they wanted. After that we became high schoolers, so we kinda just became acquaintances rather than friends. 

I may have been relatively well known as I was smart and in a lot of clubs, but unlike them, I still never had a definite clique. Which is fine most of the time, but it can be a little lonely. 

Since joining the student council junior year though, I've become a lot closer to the two of them. It's nice, but we are seniors now and will probably end up at different colleges next year anyways. What's the point of becoming friends now? 

"Hey!" Mae smiles at us brightly. 

I return a small smile, amazed that Mae can sound so cheery and energized this early in the morning.  I only got 3 hours of sleep last night and Mae looks like she got 30. 

Emma gives Mae a smile as well, already used to her best friends cheery personality. She then proceeds to sit next to her, slipping off her backpack before settling down. 

I sit across from them tentatively. The two of them talk about random gossip while working on more posters. Quietly, I get busy on planning for the pep rally that will happen soon. 

"Hey, we should all do a study sesh after school. We can go to that new cafe that just opened up by the bookstore." Mae states. 

"Sounds good," nods Emma. 

Me? Hang out? 

My head snaps up, and I see Mae and Emma look at me expectantly.

 I think back to the 7th grade, when they would ask if we could hang out.  I'd give them a different lame response every time. 

'My cat is sick' 

'I have a bunch of homework'

'My favorite show is on tonight,' and more that probably sounded equally ridiculous. 

Eventually they just stoped asking. I don't blame them either. 

Thinking about it now, I realize that I can't do the same thing I did in middle school. 

"T-that sounds fun!" I finally stutter out. 

They smile at me, and the three of us make plans on where to meet up after school. Emma is the only one who has a car so she will drive us. 

Slowly, I let myself become excited. I'm actually going to hang out with people my age... I never get to do that. 

My mom will  kill me if she finds out, I think to myself. Ignoring the feeling of dread that rises in my stomach, I send another small smile to Emma and Mae.

                                                                                             ...

"Where have you been?" My moms voice greets me as soon as I walk through the door. She's standing in the semi lit  foyer, waiting for me. 

It's only 5:00 pm yet I know I'm in huge trouble.  Locking the door behind me, I turn around to face her cold stare. 

"I was just studying with some friends from student council." 

I know I've made a mistake right after I say it.

 I should have said something like, 'I was held up in one of my clubs,'  or  'A teacher needed help grading assignments.' 

Anything that didn't include the word 'friends'. 

Before I even realize what's happened, my head whips to the side and I wince as my fingers brush against my now sensitive cheek. 

She slapped me. 

Hard. 

My eyes widen. 

She doesn't hit me often, as usually her words are enough to hurt me. So, I must have really pissed her off if she decided to get physical. 

My mom stares at me hardly, her mouth seemingly stuck in a permanent frown. 

 Sometimes I wonder why my she hates me so much. Does she blame me for Dad leaving? Or for making her become a  mom at such a young age, ruining her dreams of going to college?  

Which is it? 

I remover when I use to wish to look like my dad. I wanted his chestnut colored hair, and his sparkling blue eyes that almost glowed with warmth. 

Now, I'm glad I have my mothers blond hair and green eyes.  I already remind my mother enough of my father as it is, I'd hate to think of what she'd  do to me if I served as a visual reminder of him too. 

She continues to stare at me in disgust, her eyes taking in my oversized 'Nirvana' t-shirt I had tucked into a long floral skirt this morning. I start to regret my choice of clothing as her eyes rake over me, my hands clenching  the slit in my skirt nervously. 

This time I can tell what she's about to do before hand. Her hands grab at my clothes, pulling and ripping them. Leaving them ruined, and scratching me in the progress. Not bothering on fighting her, I let her do her damage. 

 When she's done she practically spits at me, " You dress like a whore."  

Tears well in my eyes at her harsh words. She's never cared about how I dress before,  so why does she now? All because I hung out with SGO members after school? 

"No more going out for the rest of the week, and that includes seeing your dad this weekend. Tell him you're  busy with school," she sneers. 

I simply nod, too afraid of speaking as it might upset her.  

She continues to look at me with loathing, probably wondering why she threw away college to have a daughter like me.  I try to find anything other than distaste in her jade colored eyes, but fail to. 

...

The next day, I get dressed in a baggy grey jumper and loose sweatpants, not making the mistake of showing skin like before, again.  

 Last night, before going to bed, my mom had made it clear that I was forbidden dinner. Instead,  I stayed in my room, doing my homework until I was too tired and had to go to sleep. 

After not being allowed dinner last night, I didn't want to test my luck with breakfast too. Not even daring to take an apple on my way out of the house, I grab my bag and head straight for the door.

It's probably for the best any way. I could stand to loose a couple of pounds.

 At least that's what my mothers been telling me. Apparently I'm fat, stupid, and a whore. 

Sighing as I reach the foyer, I throw on an old pair of  sneakers , not seeing my boots anywhere. I figure my mom either threw them out or burned them. 

I walk to school like normal, but all my energy and excitement for SGO is gone. 

The whole morning, I manage to avoid Emma and Mae. It's like middle school all over again, when I started ignoring everyone around me and eventually had to watch as they moved on and made new friends. 

The rest of the day drags on slowly, and I barely manage to mumble 'Hi' to people as they  greet me in the halls. I'll probably feel really bad about it later, but for now I don't have enough energy to care. 

I think of what my teenage life has become; Waking up, going to school, school work, school work, and even more school work. Just so that in a couple more months I can graduate and do the same thing all over agin for four more years at college. 

The only thing that comforts me is the fact that if I endure it now, in a few months I wont have to deal with my mother any longer. 

... 

Okay, but why is this chapter kinda good? Lol 

Anyways- Thank you so much for reading! Right now I am just writing for fun to see if anyone reads it, I apologize if its not that great quality. 

I will continue to work hard on improving my wiring. :) 

Hopefully...

:) :) :) 

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