Yesterday was tiring after celebrating her birthday and going to explore the rest of the park. We had a great lunch and then we were back in New York City. The small getaway was over and I was really glad.

I couldn't stop thinking about anything but Nicholas. Rebecca had called him when we were at the airport yesterday so he left for her house directly from there. He did try to ask me if I was okay and I smiled and brushed it off. Yesterday was Vi's day and I wanted her to have fun. She and Xavier had the best time and I was glad.

On the other hand, it was a torcher being so close to Nicholas all the time. All his sweet gestures were eating me out. He said I looked nice in casual clothes, then the time when he opened the door for me, then the accidental touch of hands. This morning he hadn't come into the office and it didn't take a genius to figure out where he was.

I had learned my lesson. And I planned to stay away from him. It was great so far because he hadn't arrived. I don't know how much self-control I would need. I shook my head getting back to work. This is going to be a long day.

Around noon there was a knock on my door. "Come in." "Can I know my schedule for today Isabella?" I didn't look up and I nodded. After telling him everything I kept my Ipad aside and went back to work. I didn't want to see him.

I heard the chair in front of my desk being pulled. "Good morning," he said. "Good afternoon," I replied, looking at him briefly. "What's gotten into you?" he asked. "Nothing," I replied, giving him a fake smile and looking back down. I heard him sigh and he got up and left. And I regretted it immediately. Do I have to be mean to him? I thought. Yes, then he will ignore you and you guys will go back to being normal.

I was done with work for today and I was about to leave. His lights were still on and I wanted to ask him to go back home but I just walked out of the building. I have to do this. He has a girlfriend, remember?

The week had passed by and it was Thursday. I had successfully tried to be normal. I wasn't rude to him like the other day but I wasn't friendly either. There were no flirty comments and no touching. Very professional. I smiled going to his room, this is going to be a cakewalk.

"Good morning Nicholas," I said walking in. "Good morning," he replied, looking at me. I told him his schedule for the day. He had been doing fairly well after the trip. He didn't take sleeping pills. I made sure he had lunch and breakfast and dinner as well. "Did you eat?" I asked. "Yes, pancakes," he answered. I smiled.

I always bought us both lunch so I knew he wasn't skipping. "Great, I will see you at the meeting," I said, turning around and going back to the cabin. We had a meeting with the board of directors today. So even Robert was going to be here. I was excited to see him.

After completing my work I walked out to inform him about the meeting. The meeting room was ready. "Nicholas? The meeting is in 5," I said, peeping my head inside his room. He was on the phone so he nodded. I walked out and to the meeting room. Robert was talking with other board members.

"Mr Knight," I smiled walking toward him. "Isabella child!" he said, hugging me. "I heard your trip was amazing!" he said. The members were all shocked to see him casually talking to me. "Glad they could have fun," I smiled. "Also the people in this company seem to all know you," he laughed. I smiled. "Quite famous," I said laughing with him.

"Dad," Nicholas came in smiling as he hugged him. "Son, you look happy," he said. "Yes, actually I have a date after lunch," he smiled. My smile dropped and looked down at my shoes. One word. One word was all it took to shatter all the emotions I had kept away for a week. So Rebecca was coming here? Oh god.

"Ela!" I snapped out of my thoughts. "Sorry, what?" I asked. "Dad asked what happened?" Nicholas looked at me confused. "Umm, nothing. Nothing at all let's go inside," I said, giving them a fake smile. Nicholas walked in nodding. "Isabella, don't think about it too much. Everything will be alright in the end," Robert said, patting my back. I looked at him confused but quickly walked in. Taking my seat to the left of Nicholas, while his dad sat on the right.

"So Ladies and Gentleman, our company is...." I made sure to note down everything that was suggested after Nicholas gave his speech. An hour later the meeting was done and everybody started walking out. "I gathered my things and got up as well. "Not you Ms Kingston," Nicholas' voice boomed. I looked at him. "What?" I said looking at him blankly. "What happened to you back there? Your behavior was very weird this week. You know you drank my coffee?" he asked. I did?

"Umm, nothing is wrong. I needed a change," I smiled. He walked towards me slowly. Oh god please don't do this to me. Why? "Is it because of that stupid crush of yours?" he asked angrily. Yeah right, my crush was stupid thanks, Nicholas. "No, what do you mean?" I asked. "You almost cried when you saw Xavier and Violet kiss. You said he didn't know you existed or something. I have told you this before. I will tell you this now. Get that stupid thing out of your head. If he doesn't like you, you shouldn't care.

Thinking about him all the time is not going to help. You better get out of this stupid love cycle of yours and concentrate on work," he snapped. He was standing right in front of me and I wanted to slap him.

"I didn't ask for your life advice, okay? If you think I am not doing my job, feel free to fire me. But don't you dare say what I feel for that person is stupid? What I feel is between him and me. Keep your life advice to yourself. I am not the one who is distracted because I have a boyfriend, okay? So thank you so much but I don't need your opinion," I said storming out and to my cabin.

I sat on my chair, my head in my hands. Who does he think he is? What is his problem? I just fought with him for him. What kind of messed up thing is this?! I let out of breath. I don't know what to do anymore. I shouldn't have broken the number 1 rule of being a PA. Never fall for your boss.

It was almost the end of the day and I hadn't seen him since the little stunt I pulled. I was wrong. I knew he didn't have any right to interfere. But I have interfered in his life more than I can count.

I walked out and to his cabin. I had to apologize to him. I saw his lights still glowing so I let out a deep breath before walking in only to be met by Nicholas and Rebecca kissing each other.

They stopped when the door closed. "Umm... I am sorry, I didn't know she was here. I am going to leave," I said, turning around as hurt filled me and I opened the door walking out and straight to the elevator. What the hell was I thinking? I should have known. My eyes started to water as I furiously pressed the elevator button. I stomped my foot and took the stairs.

Why does it hurt so much? He had made it clear to me that all he wanted to be was friends. Why was I so stupid to not see it? Why did I still have hope? Why did I have to? I sat down on the stairs having no energy to move anymore. I put my head on my knees as I let the tears fall.

I have been working for him for so long so why does it now hurt me to see him like this? I sat there just staring at the wall as tears stopped flowing. I don't know how long I was sitting like a lifeless body.

I heard heavy footsteps come and stop beside me. "Holy shit. What the hell happened to you Bells?" Kevin said standing in front of me. I brushed my cheeks and stood up giving him the best smile I could. "What are you doing here?" I asked. "Don't bullshit me! What the hell happened to you?" he asked.

"I am fine," I said. "Really? Your mascara is running down your eyes," he said blankly. I immediately searched for my phone to see when I didn't find it. "Yeah, your phone is in your room. I have been looking for you for the past hour! I was about to call the police!" he snapped. "I am sorry," I whispered.

"What happened?" he asked, pulling me in a hug. "I told you it's nothing," I said as I pulled away. We walked up the stairs. "Really? Isabella, don't you dare say that. You are always smiling, you are always okay! Sometimes it's okay not to be okay," he said. "I know. But it's my fault anyway. Let's go," I said, opening the door to our floor to find Nicholas pacing back and forth.

He looked at me and sighed in relief. "Are you out of your fucking mind? We have been looking for you for the past hour! You left my cabin two hours ago!" He shouted coming towards me and I just moved back. He pulled me forward and into his chest. "You are so stupid," he muttered, sighing. "Mr. Knight," I said, my voice raspy and ready to tear up again. He immediately let go of me.

"What's wrong? What did you just call me?" he asked. "I have to go," I said, walking to my room and grabbing my bag. I heard Nicholas and Kevin having a conversation but my head wasn't ready to listen to anything anymore. I walked out without giving them a second glance and down to the ground floor.

I was about to call a cab when Kevin stood in front of me. "I'll drop you," he said, pulling me with him. "Kevin," I said. "I won't ask you anything just get in the fucking car you will just get into an accident if you keep on walking like that," he said. I got into the car.

After a few minutes, we reached my house. "Thank you," I said, grabbing my stuff. "You can't give up Isabella," he said. "But I already have," I said, getting out of the car and closing the door behind me, and walking to my apartment. I knew it, today was a long day.

I walked to his cabin with a blank face and a letter in my hand. "Good morning sir," I said walking in. His head snapped to me. "Your schedule for today?" I asked putting down the paper in front of him. "What the hell is this?" he asked, grabbing it. "My resignation letter," I said. "I am not going to fucking sign it," he snapped. "I am not resigning today. According to the rules I have to give a six months notice in advance," I said calmly. I have to do this for myself.

"I am still not fucking signing it. What happened, why are you behaving this way," he said getting up. "If I am at fault somehow please, I am sorry. I will do whatever you want. Are your working hours too much? I'll reduce them. Is your salary less? I'll increase it. Do you need more holidays? Okay one more week you can take off, please just don't do this Isabella," he said gently holding my hand.

I wanted to laugh. I didn't want any of that. "Don't make it harder for me than it already is," I said. "Is there something wrong? Please tell me I can fix this," he said. You can't fix me. "It's nothing, I want to go back to London," I said. "Forever?" he asked, taken aback. "I think so," I said not looking at him anymore.

"You are such a liar! You are just like everyone in my life! You said you would never abandon a friend and look at you now! You are just like everybody, you warm me up and now you are leaving as they have. You are no better than them," he shouted. "Nicholas," I said, taking a step forward. This was not what I meant!

"Get out Isabella! Leave!" he said. "Nicholas, listen to me," I said. "I said get out," he shouted. I flinched at his voice and left the room. It went so much better in my head. I sighed going back to my room. I had thought this over last night and I had convinced myself that I was going to no matter what. But leaving by hurting someone so much? Was this the right thing to do?

I was giving up without even trying and blaming it on him. Why was he getting punished for my wrongdoings? I needed to talk to someone right now. I got up from my seat and made my way downstairs. Mrs. Suzzane sat at her desk.

"Hi," I said standing near her desk. "Isabella!" she said getting up and hugging me. "What's the matter darling?" she asked. "I wanted to ask you something," I said. "Mrs. Suzanne, is it wrong to give up without trying?" I asked. "You don't know what the result will be unless you try dear. If you fail then you know at least you tried, if you still don't get it it was probably not meant to be. But without trying you wouldn't even know," she said, patting my cheek.

"But what if all the signs are telling me something else?" I asked. "And what if you misinterpreted those signs? These are both WHAT IF I don't think too much about it Isabella. I told you if it is meant to be it will happen. You just need to be in the moment and enjoy them," she smiled. Be in the moment and enjoy them. I have been doing that all along. Why was it I forgot about it and acted out of the way?

"Anger gets the best of people sometimes." I jumped at the voice. "Mr. James?" I asked. "Don't sweat it, Isabella. Everything will be fine in the end," he said. "Who's the lucky guy?" he asked. I blushed thinking about Nicholas. "I am the lucky girl," I smiled. "Modesty, he is arrogant isn't he?" She asked.

"Don't let your possible first love go away," she said. I nodded. "Thank you so much," I said to both of them. They smiled and I turned around going back to him. I walked into his cabin to see him angrily staring at his screen. He looked up at me and said, "If you are here to fight again, Do us both a favor and leave. I am not going to fucking sign it." I smiled. He is not ready to let go. I grabbed the paper that he had crumbled and I straightened it. "Isabella," he warned. I tore it in half and his eyes widened. "I am sorry," I whispered. "It was wrong of me. I wasn't thinking straight. My anger got the best of me."

"You know how scared I was? In the three and a half years you have been working for me, you have never even crossed a small line. And you just acted out like that!" he said. "I am sorry. I am sorry I made you feel like that. That I was leaving you," I whispered, placing my hand on his. "I don't know why I trust you so much. But I do," he said. "I know, I am sorry for breaking it," I whispered.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked. "No it's sorted," I said smiling. "How do you have solutions to everybody's problems and your own?" he asked. I shrugged. "Magic," I winked, getting up. "I like you smiling like that," he said, smiling back. "And I like you smiling too," I said. "Go back to work Ms Kingston," he said. I smiled walking back to my cabin.

Baby steps Isabella. Baby Steps.