"Hold your breath, miss," The woman behind me tells me while pulling the strings sewn through the brown stay. Based on what the servants had told me during my breakfast, I was too young to wear a corset, and that the best way to get used to wearing them is to start off with a stay in order to train my body to withstand the tight garment.

Just as Hyani had said, her dresses have been delivered a day and a few hours after my fitting session. The dresses the royal seamstress has made look so different from the ones I am used to, the frills and extra fabric decorating the cream dresses adding different colors and personality to each of them.

Lady Cecille had told me yesterday that no woman could walk inside the castle's walls without wearing appropriate clothing, so I have been kept alone in my room for the past day, my only company being the queen-sized bed in the centre of my new room, covered in a black woollen cover, the bookcase that covers an entire wall from floor to ceiling filled with books I can't read. In front of the roaring fireplace there is a wooden table surrounded by four chairs. As I had looked around the room last night, I had found some knitting needles and wool in the drawer of one of the bedside tables, so I have been keeping myself entertained by either knitting or sleeping, tears rolling down my cheeks as I dream of how my life has changed.

I talked to the servants this morning. They seemed quite skeptical of talking to someone they have to call miss, but I managed to convince two of the younger girls to stay and have breakfast with me, persuading them that I would be much happier with their company. They didn't talk much to start with, but by the end they had dropped the formality of miss, although continued to call me Mother of the Future.

Holding my breath, I wait impatiently for my stay to finish being tied, eager to leave the room and go for a run.

From my window, I have a clear view of the garden filled with flowers. As soon as I saw it, I wanted to go there, and even in my dreams, between the nightmares, I have glimpsed the beauty of what is down there.

"Can I go to the garden?" I ask, my eyes not moving from the window.

"Um... It's raining, miss Mother of our Future...".

Frowning, I look at the women, "Please?"

"If it pleases you, yes miss Mother of our Future," One of them answers, elbowing the person who had pointed out the fact that it is and giving a curtsy.

"Let us get you dressed first, Mother of our Future,".

I disliked being called that, but if letting them act this way meant I would get outside faster, I will endure it.

Nodding, "Okay, thank you,".

As they help me put on the cream dress with dark blue detailing on it, I wonder what my family is doing. I imagine my brothers, happy that I have been kidnapped, and my sisters and parents crying their hearts out. Or not. Maybe they were in on it too, and they were just acting like they wanted me to be there. Or maybe nobody wanted me gone, and everyone is sad.

"You look beautiful, miss Mother of our Future," One of the older woman says in awe.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I have to agree with her. I look really good, but nothing like my usual self. My eyes, red from crying during the night, are covered with some black cream, making them stand out more. My lips have been coloured red, and my cheeks have been blushed pink. The dress reaches just under my knee, the dark blue clothing that covers the bottom skirt making it look striking, and the fluffy sleeves also in blue make it look young and bubbly.

I don't feel young. Or bubbly. I feel sad, out of place, and most important, I feel broken.

"Can I go to the garden, now?" I ask, swallowing the lump stuck in my throat as I keep my tears in.

"Ye-".

Before the woman that has tied up my stay can finish what she is saying, I rush towards the door, grabbing the coat that is hanging from the hanger and running down the corridor.

I need to get out of here.

I need to clear my head, to breathe fresh air.

Running down the next corridor, I turn, rushing down the stairs that lead towards the lower level. Tears start streaming down my face as sadness overwhelms me, my vision blurry as I bump into people. Not bothering to help them up, I quickly run down the next passage, stepping down into a colder section, the noise of the rain louder.

As I put the coat over my head, I run outside, my wails inevitable as I move further away from the castle.

I know nobody is out here, so finding a bench under a tree, I curl up on myself, my sobs not calming down as I hug myself tightly.

"Why? Why me?" I scream into the wind as it blows harder as an answer.

The rain is pouring hard, lightning brightening the sky followed by thunder. I used to be afraid of the light, but once I glowed myself, I felt closer to the lightning, I could see myself in it. I feel like it is glowing out of anger, and the sound was someone reprimanding it for doing so.

Looking up, I scream, "Leave us alone! We just want to be happy!"

Crying, I stay in the same position, my eyes gradually closing as my sobs subside, the storm fading away as the stars shine in the sky.

Deep down I always knew there was a big chance I would have to leave the life on the farm I had come to love sooner or later, and although I haven't wanted to accept it, I need to face reality, and realize this is my life. I can't live in the past, I have to act in the present, learn to act like a lady and try and find my own happiness in this place.

My night is filled with dreams of my family, my old friends, and fields of gold, turning into forests so tall and dense only the glow of my skin shows the path while I walk through them. I'm left with a bittersweet memory as I remember all the times we had laughed, played and been happy.

As the night goes on, a small smile starts to appear on my lips, the images of the past bringing joy to my night.

"Here she is!" A faint voice shouts, making me stir, "Miss, you can't sleep outside!".

Whoever is talking to me tugs at my hand, waking me from my slumber, my body feeling very stiff from sleeping in such a bad position.

The sun is starting to rise behind the worried looking woman, and as I look the opposite way so that I can shade my eyes from the light, I spot Lady Cecille rushing towards us from the path to our left.

"Moira Mother of our Future, what do you think you are doing?" She demands, her voice cold, steady as she looks me over. Before I can answer, she pulls me up, "Let's go. The king won't allow you to walk alone if you continue with such behaviour,".

The only thing I heard was the lack of my last name when she spoke to me.

I was no longer considered a Mercia, but instead they used Mother of our Future.

The acceptance I had managed to win over during the night quickly disappears, the sadness from losing something so dear breaking my heart once again.

Following Lady Cecille, her hand tight around my wrist, I wish I could run off and hide, never to be found. I want to get away from here, go somewhere where nobody knows me, where glowing skin is normal and floating hair is just a faze. I want to live without being stared at, fingers pointed towards me and whispers behind my back

"Come, we must head to class. You must learn to eat properly, something that is going to take some time based upon the way you ate during the trip here,".

But alas, I can't.