A/N- I'm not going to do the song thing anymore because its too hard to match BUT if you read a chapter and have a suggestion the first song suggestion will be used and you will be tagged:)

TW: mentions of harassment

Bucky stared into the mirror, lacking a shirt as he did. His eyes followed the rivers of white scar tissue compelling from his metal arm. His gaze guided to the bullet wound on his stomach, the only scar still visible from afar.

Up close, Bucky could see the ghost of every beating from hydra, every slice of a dagger from old winter soldier missions-every cell on his body wasn't his, it belonged to his past.

He was a slave to who he was.

A knock at the door broke him from his thoughts. Grabbing a tshirt, he pulled it over his head, careful not to let the fabric linger over his face too long.

He unlocked the door, and slowly opening it to find it bare of any person.

In his lower vision, he saw something bright sitting at his feet. Bucky looked down, only to find a bouquet of white flower's on his doormat along with a note decorated in scrubbled writing.

He bent down to pick it up, feeling the stems against his flesh hand and holding the note in his metal one.

His eyes scanned the small piece of paper, squinting to read the messy scrawl across it.

Bucky,

White Chrysanthemum's represent new beginnings. You deserve one.
I'm sorry for being a piece of shit, call us even?

-L

Looking up from the page, he placed the bouquet and note on his dresser.

He sensed another in the room.

A small creak against the floorboard was followed but surprisingly heavy breathing. Bucky stuck his head round the door, no one visible was in the hallway.

"Lucina, I know you're there"

No response. A defening silence that no sound could penatrate Bucky's ears, seeping into his head to fill it with noise not really there.

Lucina watched as his ice cold eyes stared out to try and find her. She knew he could hear every breath she took, every creak of her weight on the floorboards, but as his eyes scanned the room they always skimmed over her whereabouts.

Bucky steps into the hall, hand reaching out for her as he whispers "I'm sorry"

His palm stretched in a silent beg as he reached out into the empty hall to hope, to pray, she was there. She was. Staring at his outstretched hand with no intention to take it.

She stared at his shut eyes as she stepped back, away from him, and steps into the already open Elevator as Sam steps out.

Sam wonders if he felt something brush against his arm, but maybe it was just in his head. He look up to see Bucky standing on the hall, his flesh hand reaching out ad his eyes stayed shut.

The falcon couldn't hold in a smirk as he crept forward and grabbed Buckys arm with an exclamation to attempt to scare him.

"BOO"

"AGH"

Bucky grabbed Sam's arm, twisting it away from him on a reflex, before pushing him away.

"Shit, Sam! Know better than to sneak up on an assassin" Bucky spat, scratching his head aggressively on anger.

"Have you finally lost it? Because you were just standing in the middle of the hall sticking your hand out, Barnes" Sam quips as Bucky let's his arm free.

"Shut up" was all Bucky grumbled as he stalked back into his room, locking the door.

-----

"Yeah, he's lost the plot" Sam says to Steve as he pours coffee into his mug.

"The guy's been through alot, Sam" Steve responds, pushing around the cereal in his bowl "Cut him some slack"

"Steve. He was standing in the middle of the hallway waving his hands around" Sam repeated, insisting on his theory of Bucky's insanity.

"I have no defense for that, but he's going through alot. His mind is messed up, he's in a new environment, the whole Lucina thing-"

"What Lucina thing?" Lucina turned herself visible as she spoke, scaring both men.

"Nothing-"

"There's no-"

"Nothing to worry about-"

"No Lucina thing-"

"I don't even know what you mean-"

"Who's Lucina-"

"It's nothing-"

"I don't know a Lucina-"

"Don't worry about it-"

"Who would Lucina be-"

"Alright stop it!" She barks, making them silence.

She stares at their guilty faces and scoffs "He told you? I can't believe he fucking told you about that night! That asshole-"

"Woah, Woah, woah-" Steve cut hr off "What night?"

She froze. So he didn't tell them? Fuck.

"Uh don't worry about it" She turns to go but Sam blocks her way.

"Nuh uh, shorty, you got to tell us now"

"I'm not that short-"

"You're like 2ft tall"

"Uh I'm 5'1 that's not sh-"

"Hey don't change the subject!" Steve cuts in "Lucina, tell us or we get Wanda to use her powers and make you tell us"

"Fine, fine" she sighs "A while ago, I don't quite remember how long ago, me and Bucky-"

"Fucked?" Sam said.

"Kissed?" Steve said.

"What?!" She scoffs "No, we just kind of had a little moment. He held me and...stuff"

"What kind of stuff?" Steve asked.

"Kinky stuff?" Sam smirks.

"No ew! We just talked and we were all close and I thought something was there and then..." Lucina feels the emotion drag her words down to a quiet pause. She looks up at the two men, hesitating but continuing "He was horrible the next morning. He was cold and rude and I don't know what I did"

The tears pool in her eyes but she stops herself from crying. She couldn't cry infront of them. She couldn't show anymore vulnerability.

"Oh. Lucy, I'm so sorry that's awful-" Steve stepped forward to hug her but she stepped away.

"I know I have alot of mood swings. I know I can be difficult and rude and annoying but I'm trying to hard to be normal. I'm trying so so so fucking hard but there is no escape from myself. I can't-"

"Lucina" Sam starts "You'll always have a place here. We're all weirdos with issues and superpowers and trauma and no sleep but that is what makes us family"

"We're your family now, Lucy" Steve says with a smile.

"I haven't had much of a family for so long. Barely had the pieces to make one" She stares down at her feet.

"Well now you have us" Steve pats her back.

"Yeah man, we have Peter, Morgan and the twins as the kids, Natasha and Steve are Mommy and Daddy-"

"Sam, I told you not to call me Daddy-"

"-we have me, the favourite uncle, Wanda is the loving auntie, Pietro is that one uncle that let's the kids drink, Bruce is the second favourite uncle, Tony is the loud abnoxious grandad and Pepper is the cool organised grandma, Thor and Loki are the troublemaking cousins, Clint is the uncle who couldn't care less, Vision is that one cousin who doesn't understand jokes and good old Bucky Barnes is the uncle who should be in prison" Sam finishes, visibly proud of himself.

Lucina laughs a little, a small quiet chuckle but a laugh none the less. "And what am I?"

"Definitely the auntie who should be in prison" Sam jokes, making Lucina grin more.

"I like it" She nods, feeling a warm feeling radiate in her chest.

How strange. She had a family.

-----

Lucina lays down on the sofa, her head against the blue pillow and legs dangling off the chair arm.

Her eyes trace the markings in the celing before finally giving into her boredom and clicking her phone on.

"Who is that lady on your lock screen, lady Lucina?" Thor's voice boomed, making her jump from her skin.

She sits up, making room for Thor to sit beside her, which he does.

"Her name is Winona Ryder, she's an actress" Lucina explains.

"Ah, you know this actress?" Thor asks.

"Uh...no" She says awkwardly, eyes squinting in anticipation if where this conversation was going.

"Then why is she your lock screen?"

"Because she's hot" she blurts out before she can bite her tongue.

Thor's face spreads in a teasing grin "Ah, you seem to like this Winnie Rides then?"

"Winona Ryder"

"That's what I said" Thor looks at her confused, still smiling wide.

The conversation was interrupted by a nervous Bucky Barnes. He stood in the doorway, glancing between the hallway and Lucina.

"Ah!" Thor bellowed "Sergeant! Good to see you! Care to join me and Lady Lucina?"

"Uh, you can just call me Lucy" she says with a small smile.

"So, you like Lucy then?" Bucky asked.

"Always did"

Bucky swallows, nodding slowly then taking a deep breath "Can I talk to Lucy a sec?"

"Of course!" Thor grinned, getting up and leaving the room.

Bucky took Thor's seat "Hi"

"Hey" Lucina says softly, staring at her knees as she hugged them.

"You wrote the letter." He stated.

"What letter?" Lucina fiddled with her necklace, staring at her feet.

"Don't act dumb" He cringed a he accidental harshness of his words "It's from you or Loki. I can guess which of you"

"Probably Loki" Lucy says "He likes letters, I prefer text messages"

"I think you prefer no social interaction" Bucky says with a smirk.

"Don't act like you're not the same, Sergeant" Lucina smirks, something between flirting and teasing dripping from her tone.

'Fuck I love her' Bucky thought to himself with a smile.

"I don't see you smile alot."

"I don't have alot of reasons to" Bucky responds before he can bite his tongue.

Silence coats the room, like a solid mist choking them.

Lucina opens her mouth to speak, her silent debate running through her mind before she says "Why did you leave?"

"What?" Bucky pretended like he didn't know exactly what she meant.

"The night we spent on the roof. You left the next morning. You say you didn't like me but I can't believe it" She look up at him, eyes full of honesty "Tell me you hate me and I'll leave you alone."

"I don't hate you" Bucky says, voice raspy and low. He wanted to say how he loved her. He really truly did. But would she ever love him?

"Then could we maybe be...friends?" She asks, voice quiet but hopeful.

Bucky hesitates before slowly nodding "Yeah. Okay. Friends works"

"Okay" Lucina nods, glassy eyes wide as she tries to determine her own feelings "Cool" she kept her voice calm.

"Cool" Bucky repeated, echoing her tone.

Lucy looks down at her hair as it falls around her shoulders, Bucky does the same. He looks as her hair cascades down her back like a beautiful waterfall.

"I love your hair" He mumbles, reaching out to touch it.

"You do?" Lucy's head snaps up to meet his eyes "I hate it"

Bucky is taken aback, how can anyone hate something so beautiful??

"Why?"

"It reminds me of my past. And all the pain that comes with it" She doesn't break eye contact, neither blink or breathe until she says "Hair holds memories. I want to forget."

Bucky felt something inside his shake. Like someone heard all his thoughts and shared them so eloquently.

But one question remains.

"Can I ask what happened?" He speaks softly, like he was talking to a stray dog that might run away at any given moment.

She takes a long, deep breath, contemplating if she should.

"I killed a man." Her eyes gloss over as she stares at the wall, tok scared to see his reaction "He cat called me, tried to touch me. Something snapped. I snapped"

"I'm sorry that happened to you"

Her eyes widen at the words, he throat dry as she tries to speak. She turns to look at him, her voice croaky as she says "What?"

"I'm sorry that happened. You didn't deserve it"

"He didn't deserve to die-"

"Every woman, every man, every person deserves respect no matter what. Respect of their body...their minds" Bucky speaks calmly but with a sense of control, unblinking, unforgiving.

"You're like no one I've ever met" Lucina says with a small laugh.

"In a good or bad way?"

"In the best way" She smiles, nudging his finger against hers.

"I get the hair thing....by the way" Bucky says quietly.

"Oh right, yeah, I heard about your...past" Lucina looks to see his face "You didn't deserve that, you know"

"Thanks" Bucky exhales a shakey breath, not sure if he can believe her "It's hard. But I'm getting better"

"The past is the past. We have to move on" She whispers "And I know what our first activity as friends should be"

"What?" Bucky asks, curious.

"Haircut"

"What??"

"Let's cut our hair" She insists, taking his hand "Let go of the memories that hurt and finally, finally live"

Bucky stares up at her, more sure of his love that ever before as he stands up and slowly nods.

-----

"This is a modern hair salon?" Bucky says, looking around unsure.

"Yeah, man. Don't worry, they're trained professionals" Lucina assures him as he is led to sit down.

Bucky sits in the black seat as a woman with black hair comes over.

"Hey there! I'm Juliette Johnson, can I help you?" The woman smiles nicely.

Bucky couldn't help but feel that he knew her.

"Hi" Lucina greets "Are you a hair dresser?"

"Well, I'm a scientist but...yeah for today"

Lucina and Bucky share a confused look but just go with it.

"I want my hair short." Bucky states.

"Okay! How much shorter?" Jules asks.

"Short." He grumbles.

After the countless questions leaving Bucky annoyed, he just points to a photo in a magazine and lets them get on with it.

"Okay, this'll be good! Would you're girlfriend like to take a seat in the waiting area until I'm done?" Juliette indicates to Lucina.

"Oh, I'm not his girlfriend" Lucy laughs.

Bucky stares in the mirror as he thinks 'Why'd she laugh so hard?'

"Stay." Bucky says to Lucy "Please?"

She sees the flash of fear in his eyes before she slowly reaches out to hold his hand.

A reassuring look from her allowed Bucky to relax into the chair.

About twenty minutes passed and Bucky saw a new man in the mirror.

And soon it was Lucina's turn, they swapped and she sat down in the chair.

"How do you want it?" Juliette asks her.

Lucina twirls a lock of silvery curls around her finger before she says almost suddenly "Short."

"Oh, miss, you have beautiful hair are you su-"

Lucy grinned as she and Bucky shared a look. She reached forward to the scissors sitting on a shelf and cut off a huge chunk if her hair.

"Now, fix it."

-----

A/N-Thats not her face but that's the kind of hair style

"Do you think I'm beautiful now?" She asks Bucky.

"Of course I do" He says to Lucy.

A/N- Okayyyyyy hope you enjoyed this chapter, a little random Jules cameo?! If you haven't read my story Respectable | Jack Thompson then check it out! Season two will be on its way soon don't worry :)