Copyright © 2012 Tavita Khan

All rights reserved

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Hey guys, this is a new story I'm writing. :) Hope you guys like it. It's kind of different to what I've been trying to write, but I'm going to go for it. But it's also kind of similar, too, because there will be lots of pain in this story, too. :/ I guess I"m just good at writing emotional things.

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I was panicking, my breath coming in heavy pants as I watched him shove clothes into a suitcase, face masked with firm concentration. He wasn't even bothering to fold his shirts and pants, just put them in carelessly, working quickly. When the case was full, he zipped it shut, then hauled another one out, going through the exact same motion as before.

Tears streamed down my face and dripped down onto the wood paneled floors. "Cash, please," I pleaded, my voice hoarse and raw from crying and begging. "Please, just rethink your decision." I hesitated, but then took a few steps into our bedroom.

Cash straightened up and mirrored my movements, shifting back. His actions added to the pain that was threatening to overwhelm me. "Tessa," he said, trying his best to keep his voice as gentle as possible even though I could hear the obvious irritation in his undertone. "I've already thought this through. I've thought this through for months."

"You can't leave, Cash," I wept. "You can't just pack up and leave your wife and son, just like this." The tears blurred my view of him, but I could make him out shaking his head and beginning to pack again. "Cash, I love you. Please!" I choked on a sob.

 "Tessa, I've already talked to the lawyers," he said simply. I took in a staggering breath feeling like he had just punched me in the gut and stumbled back. "You can have this house, have the kid and I'll send you money every month. We'll have a clean divorce and you can move on," Cash told me, zipping up his second suitcase. From the walk-in closet, he pulled out a duffel bag and put in the rest of his clothes he had left in the closet.

I rubbed at my eyes, but the tears were like a flood, refusing to stop flowing. "Tanner is only two months old, Calvin," I cried, calling him by his given name. "He deserves to know his father. He doesn't deserve you leaving us now, leaving him," I gasped, trying to hold onto a reason, any reason for him to stay. "Cash, I love you. What about this past year? How could you forget them? How could you forget that you loved me so much just a few weeks before?"

Cash stopped and turned around. The look he gave me stilled and chilled me to the bone. "Tessa," he started, his voice like ice. "I'm going to be honest with you because I haven't been for a long time," he said softly.

My heart began to pound. "You've been cheating on me, haven't you? This is what it's about. There's someone else." I gripped my hair. "How could I not have noticed?" Then I began to cry again, only harder, almost doubling over.

The footsteps came closer until I could see Cash's shoes in my view. "This marriage was a joke, Tessa. I never really loved you, goddamnit! No, I haven't cheated on you. God, I couldn't even if I wanted to. I did take consideration of my vows," he yelled, angrily.

"What do you mean?" I whispered, my lower lip trembling. How could he refer to our marriage as a joke? And how could he have lied about all those beautiful words he'd whispered to me, those loving touches? How could he have faked that gentle, caring look that was always in his eyes when he looked at me?

"My grandmother wouldn't give me my inheritance until I married and stayed married for at least a year," he explained, impatiently. Whipping his head around, he glared at me. "I didn't want to get you pregnant! I just got carried away and forgot to wear a condom, but I'd thought you'd be on the pill."

His words were equivalent to someone taking a knife and just spearing it through my chest. I felt like I couldn't breathe. "So I was just your ticket to your money?" I whimpered.

"I'm sorry, Tessa," he said, but he didn't sound apologetic at all. He probably just said that because he thought it'd make me feel better. But it only made me feel worse. "I wish things could have been different, but they weren't. You don't love me - you just think you do. And I don't love you. I was attracted to you, but it was purely sexual. I know you don't have a job, but I had money transferred to your bank to get you going for a month until you can find somewhere to work." He threw his duffel bag over his shoulder and grabbed the handles of his suitcases.

"Please," I whispered. "Cash, don't do this." My voice was quiet. In truth, I had already given up. The fight had left me the moment he admitted he didn't really love me. That he had just married me for money. While I gave him everything. Love, support, security, a family.

Cash looked at me firmly in the eyes. "Good-bye, Tessa. The divorce papers will be mailed to you within a week," he said, moving past me while dragging his suitcases with him. I didn't follow him to the door and didn't even bother to look out the window to watch him leave as I heard his flashy Mercedes Bez SLR Mclaren purr to life. Even when I heard it rolling down the driveway, then the street, I couldn't move. My feet were rooted to the ground.

It felt like he was taking my heart with him as he was leaving. This feeling of betrayal, this immense loss, it was killing me. How could he be so cruel, as to just shatter everything I had believed in? How could he just abandon his wife and two month old son without even looking back? How?        

A choked sob ripped out from my throat and I fell onto my knees, doubling over. My hands cupped my face and I cried into them, my tears running down over my palms and moistening my skin. My shoulders convulsed as I shook from the pain of heartbreak.

I just couldn't believe I was so blind. I should've paid more attention and noticed the signs. He was never as affectionate to me as I'd seen other married men and even boyfriends be to their partners. Cash hardly ever held my hand or kissed me in public. The only time we ever really connected was when we were making love; he had always given it his all then, always so passionate and set on pleasing me first. But afterwards, we didn't stay tangled up in each other's arms. I woke up always to find him gone to work, no note to indicate where he was and leaving me to figure it out.

Those words he'd spewed, they were all lies. Those you're beautiful's, I love you's, we're made for each other's, everything was just fake! He hadn't meant anything. Our marriage was just built on lies. The only reason he had chosen me out of all the women he could've had was because I was stupid enough to fall for his tricks. All those other women, they were smarter. They weren't desperate like me, longing so much for love.

It was my baby's cry that broke me out of my internal demise. I looked up with a red face, confused for a moment, before I realized that Tanner needed me. He no longer had a father, but he still had me. I wouldn't let him down. Not like Cash did. Cash had let both of us down.

I got to my feet and paused as dizziness rushed through me at the quickness of my movements. When the nausea passed, I left the bedroom and walked to the nursery, feeling like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. I was trying to even my breathing because Tanner had a knack for picking up on my emotions and me being so sad was sure to make him restless.

The nursery was beautiful, painted a pretty, calming sea green. A color I had chosen and Cash had no part in, by choice. There were toys everywhere, huge stuffed bears, fish, cats, dogs and trains and cars. And right in the middle of everything was the crib and my eyes softened when I noticed the little arms and legs flailing around inside as the cries gradually became louder.

I moved closer to the crib and peered over the edge of the wooden railings around the huge crib. It was big enough that I could possibly crawl in and lay down beside him even though it'd be incredibly uncomfortable. My legs would probably be hanging over the edge.

But it wasn't the crib that held my attention or even the beautiful room and the adorable toys around. It was the little boy lying inside that had fully ensnared my attention. He was an exact replica of his daddy except for his eyes which he had gotten from me. There was a little tuft of honey brown hair on his head and his bright green eyes were tear filled, face red from wailing at the top of his lungs. But as soon as he saw me, his mother, he quieted and made little noises while movings his arms that told me he needed me to hold him and comfort him. I smiled, my lips wobbly and lifted him up, cradling my precious baby in my arms.

"I got you," I whispered and I held him closer, so I could press a kiss to his chubby cheek. "I'm here. I'll always be here."

Tanner cooed as he grabbed my blonde locks and tugged. Even though it hurt just the tiniest bit, I didn't resist because I'd do anything for him without question. His eyes were wide and curious as he attempted to put it in his mouth.

I held him to my chest and closed my eyes, biting my lip to hold back a sob. "It's just you and me now, Tanner. You and me."