Hello dear all, as promised in the status, here comes the new chapter and it's rather long and intense under many aspects, you'll see what I mean.

I really hope you'll enjoy it, so please let me know with your comments, as it's amazing to read them and see what you think.. Thank you very much for everything my dear fans and readers, you sure know how to make me smile :-)

On the right a wonderful banner Klovis made for me and it's just perfect <3

Dedicated to all of you and in particular to NORAJC56 as a big thank you my dear for your comments and messages, plus I know you like this story...

Now, enjoy!

ROMAN POV

Enna turned the water of the shower off and before opening the door of the box he pulled closer and slipped his arms around my neck. I had no idea how I managed until now to keep my desire and needs under control; it must be because of my way of being, trained and used to control my emotions and actions, and because of the love I felt for my angel.

“Roman, will you stay over tonight? And tomorrow as well?” His eyes pierced mine and my breath stopped a moment when my stare melted with his, feeling that thick and controlling pull engulfing both of us.

I thought before answering his question, because I had to consider few things, but didn’t I say no more turning back? I nodded and my hands cupped his beautiful face and when his lips slightly opened up in a very inviting way, something powerful stirred in me and I pressed my forehead on his, his sweet breath caressing my lips. How would feel to kiss this angel? I am sure it would damn my senses, but gave them peace at the same time. I was dying to taste those lips and take that mouth, but not yet. Not yet, Roman. There was still so much unsaid between us, mostly on my part and he looked so pure and candid.

Did I have the right to taint him with my wrecked soul and dirty hands? I knew the answer very well, of course, yet here I was having him in my arms.

“Yes, I will stay over, if that is good with you.” He locked his stare with mine and I had no idea how my eyes looked in that moment, but I knew they probably reflected what was going on inside me and the glance my angel gave me made me understand he saw something in them. I released him and took half step back, to give him some space.

But he moved closer and in doing so his body completely pressed on mine and I could feel everything of him; his soft and perfect skin sleek with water, his sweet and alluring breath luring me to very dangerous paths, his silky hair wet from the shower pressing on my chest; his erection almost stroking mine.

“Enna, please...” I took his wrists and made him take a step back. He went to say something, but I spoke first. “I am a man, my angel. I sure respect you and I would never do something to hurt you or against your will, never, believe me; but I am a man and this proximity does not help me, you know that.”

He smiled in such provoking and tempting way that I felt invisible strings in me being pulled by invisible fingers, Enna’s invisible fingers, hauling me closer and triggering my already burning lust; and so instead of keeping the necessary space between us, I yanked him to me and of course he was not surprised, but only offered me another enticing and control dissolving smile. We just stared at each other for a long and mute moment, saying nothing, just breathing deeply and feeling each other aura and desire; yes, I could feel his desire for me and it was intoxicating, overwhelming. My blood rushed wilder and his shining blue irises only accelerated its pace, pulling me closer, whispering sweet words to my soul. I let go of his wrists only to cage his back in my arms and his hands sank in my hair.

“Roman..” He murmured almost on my lips. “I am a man too, with urgent and crazy desire, and I want you; I want you so badly that I might go insane if I do not feel you now.”

I said nothing, because his words were about to tear apart that thin control I was holding with all my will. My eyes closed a moment as if feeling my own turmoil and so I could concentrate better.

Roman, not yet. Not yet.

“Please Roman, open your eyes and tell me what you are feeling now. Tell me.” His voice sounded almost commanding and it was so damn arousing coming from him; it was such an alluring musical whisper that my entire soul and lust vibrated at the sound of it. The way he said my name held me his prisoner.

“Enna, why do you say this to me? You still know almost nothing about me, yes? We still need to talk and then you can decide what to do with me.” I kept my eyes closed, simply to avoid crossing his stare.

“Open your eyes, Roman.” He ordered.

“As you wish, my angel.” I opened them and in that moment I knew there was nothing to do about this primal need and pull I felt toward him.

“You already told me quite a lot about you and I have been clear on the matter that if you leave me again, I might go crazy. No, dear me, I will go crazy and my soul and heart will break in pieces, so can’t you understand how I feel? Roman, I am not scared of you, nor I think you are a dirty soul, as you keep calling yourself. Roman, I want to be with you, no; I need to be with you, please, try to understand.”

There was almost desperation in his voice and it hit me painfully, because it broke through my flesh and bones and grasped my bare and pulsing heart. Enna was staring at me with such intense and compelling eyes that no more words were necessary; I understood how he felt, for it was the same for me. I needed to be with this angel, my angel, and being apart from him would only tear me in pieces.

Incredible, wasn’t it? A man like me. But it happened and Enna was indeed my angel and my soul; he was now the very essence of my life.

“Roman...” I silenced him placing my thumbs on his glossy lips and shook my head.

“I understand you, Enna. It is the same for me.” His beautiful eyes gleamed with breathtaking light and his fingers tugged my hair.

When he moved slightly to the side, stroking my neck with his lips, there was no possibility for me to resist this burning and controlling desire I felt for my angel. In a very quick move I had him pressed on the wall of the shower, of course never harshly and never forcefully, with my chest pressing on his back, my hard member against the sensual curve of his back. Enna gasped for the sudden reaction, but did not move away or signalled me to do otherwise. My hand moved from his arm down to his side, then to his chest following the elegant and sinuous line of the lean muscles of his stomach, down to his very hard and erected length. I pressed closer and now his hair brushed my skin, while my nose ran on his neck avidly, inhaling his scent and increasing the rage and depth of my desire. My hand wrapped around his member and he moaned in such seductive way that for a moment I wished to take him right there, right then.

“I want you Enna and I want you now, in this moment. Will you be mine?” I mouthed on his ear, teasing it with my tongue.

My angel violently shivered under me and arched his back, rubbing my hard shaft with his perfect body.

“I am already yours, Roman.” He whispered, turning his head to share a burning and lust-filled look with me. “You said you want me right now?” His voice asked with a mischievous note. I simply nodded. “Then take me; I am completely yours.”

Enna arched more and his hands moved back and stopped on my neck, his fingers dipping in my hair, dragging me completely against him; he began to slowly rock around me, stroking my erection with the curves of his perfectly shaped ass, and I felt under some spell for my hand tightened the grip and started to rub him with ravenous pace, and when I felt my lust about to blind me, I stopped and pulled away.

“Roman..”

“Not here in the shower.” I said with firm and raw voice, which held no room for questioning.

I stepped outside of the shower box and Enna followed me, but I did not let him take another step, as I lifted him in my arms and carried him to his bedroom; I placed him on the bed carefully and let my eyes roam his entire beautiful figure. He resembled a sculpture of Canova for how perfect and ethereal he looked. Could I really taint such pure creature?

“What are you thinking about?” He whispered, sitting up and crawling to me, his fingers tracing the muscles of my arms.

“I think I have no right to taint you, Enna, because you are so pure, like an angel, like snow.” He took my face in his hands.

“I am neither a saint nor an angel. I’m just a human being.”

“You are my angel.”

“And you are mine, Roman. You are not tainted; your soul is not dirty or dark. You simply have a different life from mine.” Enna sat on his knees and sank his fingers in my hair. “And even if you are, just as you keep saying, then let this angel purify your soul. Possess me, I need it.”

I breathed in his sweet scent and skimmed the skin of his shoulder with my mouth. Should I let him purify my wrecked soul?

“Then it is yours and in your hands, my angel.” I stood up and we exchanged a silent and burning look. We need no more words. I walked to the bathroom and found what I was looking for and went back to his bedroom, stopping a moment at the door to admire him lying on the bed completely naked, his hair around still wet from the shower, his skin so smooth and pale. My already pulsing cock stiffened even more and seeing how Enna too was hard had me growl from my throat. He sat again on the bed and stretched his arms in front, as if luring me with a silent spell. I walked to him and there I was, completely his.

He went to take the small foil, but I stopped him and pushed him flat on his back. While holding his burning gaze, I ripped the wrapper and tossed it away, then rolled down the condom on my very hard shaft and stroked it few times for I was about to go insane with want and suffocating pleasure. Enna pushed himself up and closed one hand around mine and the whole motion was incredibly erotic, because while he moved on me, his eyes gave me a very wicked smile and he brought one of his fingers between his lips, slightly sucking on it.

“Roman, I am literally burning right now, can you feel it?” He stood on his knees and pressed against me, rubbing his member with mine, now his other hand guiding mine between us.

I let go of my length just to stroke both together, never letting go of his eyes, sinking my other hand in his hair and bringing his face a mere centimetre from mine, breathing in his intoxicating scent. Enna slightly tipped his head back and his lips disclosed in a mute pant and when I tugged his hair harder, they let go of the most sensual moan ever.

“Ahh...” He arched more against me when I increased the speed and strength of the stroking and his eyes closed to savour it better and I could not tear mine from his face, his expression consumed with growing pleasure.

He might be an angel, pure and ethereal and beautiful, but he could be also so tempting and erotic and his moans just had me about to lose my already wavering control. Everything was burning inside me and I knew my breathing sounded more like a growling, but there wasn’t much I could do about that. Just like our first time, Enna had such a devastating effect on me and the way he ordered me or provoked me only triggered my lust for him more dangerously; I never thought sex could be like this, so overwhelming and wrapping around not just my carnal senses, but around my very soul. It was as if we shared one body and one mind.

His fingers and nails sank in my back and I felt his slow rocking against me, twisting his hips and member around my grip and demanding for more. His head completely fell back and so his hair cascaded behind, while his lips opened completely and tremendous lascivious moan and pleasure began to overtake my senses.

“Roman...ahhh...go harder..” His voice and his words, and the look on his face ...

I think something broke inside me, and that was the last fragile and thin thread of control and restrain.

My hands darted on his forearms and held him strongly and firmly; he snapped open his jewels in surprise and so our eyes locked, and now it was me smirking rather darkly. I pushed him down and blocked his wrists at each side of his shoulders, bending over and letting my mouth and tongue mark his velvety skin, from his neck down to his flat and sensual stomach, then up again. Enna arched under my rather hungry assault and tried to free his hands, but I kept them there, as now I wanted him to completely enjoy this.

“Enna...” I groaned with incredibly raw and strained voice. I was barely able to talk right now. “You have no idea how I would like to possess you now, wild and hard..” But not now and that was the firm limit I imposed to myself and I knew I was not going to break it, no matter what.

“Then do it..”

I said nothing; I simply sent him a meaningful glance and he went to say something, probably protesting, but I gave him no time. I shot up and attacked his neck with avid hunger, grazing his soft skin with my teeth and tongue, but never harshly and without leaving signs; he was too beautiful and pure for that. My lips enjoyed the feelings of his heated fleshed and searched for more, finding his sensual chest and going to tease his hard nipples. I could hear my own groans mingling and confusing with his breathing and panting; my angel was twisting and shifting under me, his back arching and his elegant legs bent and stroking my sides.

I was about to burst, I really was.

So my mouth descended lower and issued him more pleasure, eliciting harder my desire; I let of his wrists to take his hips in my hands, because in that moment I felt the need to taste my angel another time. I could still remember how divinely he was and I wanted more, and without hesitation my mouth closed around his pulsing erection and Enna cried out fisting my hair harshly. That only instilled more lust in me. I took him entirely and sucked back, drawing the line of his perfect and wonderful length with my tongue, enjoying the taste and almost exploding for that. He arched more and he would have probably buckle his hips up, but I was holding them still in place and guiding them according my rhythm; my lips slipped down and up again and he was clutching my hair so hard now.

“Oh dear...Roman, please let go...ahhh...”

I plunged another time feeling the head of his shaft hitting my throat and when I looked at him I almost came. He was such breathtaking view...completely consumed by the ecstasy of the moment. His eyes found mine and his fingers tried to tug my head.

“Roman..” He breathed out.

I plunged down another time, holding his consumed and burning gaze, feeling it touching me everywhere and stirring me to an extent that reached insanity. My lips pulled up and let him go. I had to possess him. Now. I let my tongue ascend to his neck and my fingers found the small bottle of lotion; I quickly opened it and lube them. I might be about to lose rationality for the way my angel looked, but not that much to forget to take care of him. His legs wrapped around me and so I pushed them back on the bed, and while we locked gazes, my hands stroked his sides and found his perfect and sensual ass and my fingers began to play with his entrance. First gently and careful, then more decisive, but his words stopped it.

“Take me, now.” It was a clear order and if that would come from someone else, it would dangerously annoy me, but coming from my angel only aroused me more.

“As you wish you, my angel.”

And in one thrust I was completely inside him.

Ahh...that felt even better than last time. Enna arched and his fingers dug in my shoulders, his tempting lips letting out a long moan.

“Ahhh...move, please.” He murmured looking me from behind his long dark eyelashes.

And I began to thrust in a rather slow pace, wanting to savour every single shift in him, every single breath and touch; it was impossible to describe, for it wasn’t just about sexual pleasure. It touched my soul and connected it with Enna’s, and we were one thing. I leaned down and rested my forehead on his, sinking every time deeper inside me and every time more intense, making him mine and only mine. His gaze caressed me and now his legs tangled with mine, his hips guiding me more into him and inviting me to take him slightly harder. I felt his mouth and tongue on my throat and at the same time his fingers and nails on my back, scratching it when I penetrated him in a stronger motion, rotating inside him and hitting his undoing spot, judging by the way he cried on my neck.

“Ahh...oh my God, there Roman...ahhh...more...ahhh....oh please more...”

“Hmm, more like this?” I groaned when I thrust harder, with a not so subtle note of possession. Yes, possession, because I was taking Enna and making him completely and only me; I was possessing him until his last breath and he was mine, just like my soul, body, heart, mind...me were his.

“Oh dear me...ahhh, yes...ahh, like this...” He was breathing very hard and so was I.

I began to penetrate faster as my blood began to rush wildly in me, just like my pleasure. It was so strong and devastating. We exchanged a consumed look and I rolled us over. I wanted him to ride me, for I needed to see his face with that expression once again.

“Ride me, my angel.” I ordered and my fingers tangled with his, pushing him straight straddling me.

My beautiful and tempting angel arched and shifted at a very dangerously sensual pace over me, flexing his lean stomach while rotating around me, allowing me deeper inside him. Our eyes never unlocked and I let go of his hands in the need to touch him and so one hand folded his ass and made him shift even harder on me and the other wrapped around his pulsing member, stroking it at the same pace I was taking him.

“Enna....arghhh...like this...” I groaned rawer when I felt him squirm more around me, sucking me deeper and faster, just like my thrusting, going now faster and more intense, in the need to feel him completely. “Ahh...you are amazing my angel...”

He planted his fingers on my sides and I sank more in him, now feeling those spasms coursing through my body, concentrating more and more, and my angel followed me shifting wilder, until he was lost in sensual and alluring moans and pants, arching more on me. I grabbed him stronger and when I sensed the pleasure invade me completely, I gave another deep and crushing thrust and kept there, Enna twisting more, until he cried out and I felt him hot in my hand and in that moment it hit me powerfully, and growling his name I came fucking hard and long, still pounding inside him. My angel cried lost in the orgasm and trembled violently, for them letting his body collapse on me, his breath caressing my neck sweetly. Another thrust until my climax reached his peak and I collapsed back breathing in sync with my angel.

Neither of us said a word or moved for few long moments, just inhaling and exhaling, still trembling and feeling each other.

Then I carefully pulled out of him and wrapped an arm around his back, stroking his ear with my nose. My breathing slowly calmed down, but not my heart and inside me I had a turmoil of emotions and thoughts, because of course this only made me feel even more close to him.

“How do you feel, Enna?” I had used all of my will to restrain myself, for I did not want to unleash everything inside me, but I was still concerned.

His hands travelled my body and stopped on my shoulders, pushing his upper half up, his shining and beautiful eyes staring at me with such sweet smile that I smiled in response.

“How I feel?” He asked me tilting his head and tickling my neck and collarbone with his hair. “Roman, I do not even know how to describe it...I feel so complete right now that... please, never leave me again, it would really tear me apart.”

I let his words sink deep into my heart and mind, my soul grasping them avidly; my eyes rested on his, studying his gaze and feeling it on my skin, touching every part of me. I caressed his back and stopped at his neck, cupping his face with my hand and pulling him down at me. He asked me not to leave me, but we still needed to talk more. However, he knew who I was already and he still asked me not to leave him. And I will not, unless he told me to do so.

“I will not leave you, my angel, because I do not want to.”

ENNA POV

Everything he told me, or part of what he had to tell me as Roman kept saying, was spinning in my head and inside my heart.

It was not easy to cope with what I have heard, because it all seemed almost surreal and not happening to me, like a distant film you watched from afar. But the film was reality and just crushing down on me. Roman told me with cold calmness that he had killed people and the way his voice spoke and his eyes looked had me thinking he felt no regret in doing so. And why should he feel it? Do not be a silly and narrow minded hypocrite, Enna. It was his word, his life, his job. What is it now? Are you forgetting the fact you accepted everything without bating eyelids and the only thing scaring you was the idea of him leaving you?

Oh dear me, no. I could not think about Roman leaving my side; that hurt to such extent that anything else dissolved in the background, forgotten and lost. Roman could not leave me; I needed him to feel alive.

My breathing stopped and so did I. Had I really reached that point? Yes, I did and could not think of being separated from him; the mere thought brought tearing pain to me. No, do not even think about it, Enna. Stop it.

But what he said to me was still something not so simple to assimilate. Have I felt threatened when he spoke those words? No, dear me no. I just accepted all of it with unbelievable calm and awareness, as if I already knew it and well, in a way I did really know all of it. But he made me feel safe and protected and there was no more mistaking: we shared a bond that could not be explained with mere words. We were destined to meet and find each other and I had no more doubts about it. It was inevitable and perhaps this knowledge had me reacting in such calm and lucid way, as if what he told me was normal to hear. Dear me, of course it wasn’t normal. Roman was working for the mafia and only God knows with what he was involved and I still knew nothing about his past, why he joined such organization and more. And violence always put me in a dreadful state of fear and anger mixed together; I couldn’t stand it and now here I was with a man that had no problems in telling me he would gladly cut Michael’s throat. I gulped down feeling my hands slightly quivering at the thought, but then it all ceased. And I felt calm and safe and wrapped in his strong and protecting arms.

When he said those words I cared nothing about Michael, nor did I feel horror. The only thing scaring me was the thought and fear of Roman getting into troubles, nothing else.

Yes, Roman gave me such warm and overwhelming feeling of protection and ... love. I felt love coming from him, from the way his eyes lingered on mine, from the way he smiled softly when touching my hair and talking to me, from the way he held me before, with ardent intensity and desire, but tender attention, as if I was something extremely precious. And from the way he restrained himself with me, not kissing me, not completely giving in to his burning and deep desire; I knew he was holding back, tremendously holding back and if this was only part of him, how was going to be with a complete Roman?

A shiver ran all over my body and had me absolutely breathless; it wasn’t a shiver of fear or tension. It was a shiver of pure and primal pleasure.

The idea of Roman being without restrain had me accelerate my breath and heart, my lower region stiffened at the idea and my cheeks warmed up. Oh dear me, what was I thinking about right now? But there was this strength and magnetism around him and the way he made me feel while having sex...he brought me out of my senses and rationality. Everything stopped and everything started at unthinkable speed. It did not make sense, but nothing now made proper sense. Roman per se was a contradictory man, because he had killed men, but at the same time he had principles and he would never force himself on someone else, hurt for no reason. And wasn’t I a contradiction, too? Yes of course I was, but there was not anything to do about that. I loved this man and I knew he loved me too. It was there, between us, wrapping around us, we could both taste it.

I felt his compelling and undressing stare on me in every little step or move I made and if that would normally unnerve me, now it was making me shiver in many emotions, my heart beating faster knowing he was here with me, just a couple of feet away. His hands and scent were still on my skin and when my thoughts ran to what we did before for a brief moment, oh dear me, everything in me clenched in overwhelming waves of intense pleasure. I had to take a deep breath to concentrate and recollect some composure, because I was making dinner for us and I sure did not want to look like an immature child in front of his piercing eyes.

“Do you need help, Enna?” I almost jumped on the spot, for I had no heard him moving to me. Roman was standing right behind me, closing his arms around my smaller waist, his hands on my inner thighs, and I felt again that crushing wave. “Forgive me, I did scare you.”

I abruptly turned around and planted my eyes on his.

“You did not scare me, Roman; you just surprised me, as I was basically daydreaming like a teenager. Isn’t that silly?” He smiled and took a strand of my hair.

“You did what? Day..” Of course, how silly of me. He couldn’t understand every single word I said.

“I was daydreaming, which means I was thinking about something like in a dream, sort of dreaming with open eyes.” He nodded and his hand cupped the side of my face and I automatically lingered in his touch. “Are you hungry?” I asked while staring at his strong emeralds.

“Have to admit that yes, I am. Can I help you?” He smiled and felt his hand on the small of my back. I simply shook my head and drifted closer, wanting to feel his body.

“No, just stay here with me.” I said while staring at his eyes intently. They had a brilliant, but dark shade of green and the black eyebrows gave them a stronger and harder look, but they were beautiful indeed. I was sure that most people were not able to sustain such piercing and compelling stare, but I simply felt spellbound.

“As you wish.” He murmured a breath away from my lips. I was dying to taste those full and hard lips, but I told myself to behave and let him do as he wanted. “What are you making?”

He left me a moment breathless and I probably stared at him looking rather foolish. I slightly blushed thinking about my reaction and another tender smile formed on his lips, and his hand drew me closer, his nose right on my neck. I grabbed his muscular arms and bent my head further to the side when I felt his lips on my skin.

“Forgive me, I distract you.” He was smirking there and my hands clenched harder his arms. Roman was wearing just a pair of jeans and a white tank top, revealing completely the shape and hardness of his muscles and his tattoos. Now yes, that was indeed very distracting.

“Yes, you sure do distract me, very much.” I admitted and he chuckled at that, taking a step back. “But stay here with me, please.” He nodded and moved to my side. “I am making something rather simple, because I am starving to be honest; therefore I hope you’ll be fine with Indian chicken curry and Basmati rice.”

“Enna, I am fine with anything you cook and it does really smell good.” He paused, thinking about something. “You know, no one cooked for me before.”

I arched my brows in clear surprise.

“For real? Not even your family?” I bit my tongue when I asked that because I felt like my words touched a rather private argument. “I am sorry, Roman. It is not my business.”

He took both of my wrists in a very quick move and had me turn to face him.

“Enna, do not say that. I want you to know everything about me, so no more sorry, yes?” I smiled at his words and nodded. “Now, you sure I cannot help you?”

I considered a moment his offer; would he mind helping me in the kitchen? I could not picture him behind a stove; the idea was just too absurd. But maybe...

“Will you mind just checking if the rice is ready? I am almost done with the chicken and curry and if it is ok for you..” He leaned over me and brushed his lips on my forehead. My eyes closed automatically in pure and sweet bliss.

“Anything you want, my angel.” We exchanged an intense glance and he turned to the stove to check the rice, stirring it with a spoon and tasting few grains. “It does seem almost ready.”

I stirred the chicken in the pan with the curry sauce I had found already prepared in the fridge and some veggies, and forked a piece of it, offering it to him. He looked at the fork and then at me; he was not kidding when he said no one ever prepared a meal for him and the idea had my heart clench and made me feel cold. Did he even have a family? I was not so sure anymore. I smiled and he let me bring the fork to his lips, closing them around it and tasting the sample. He closed his eyes a moment and I had no idea what he was thinking about.

“How is it?” I asked.

“Very good, yes. And ready.” He hummed.

Roman insisted in helping me with washing the dishes and I simply let him; he was so different from every other man. Usually they saw me as a girl and would lazily lie on the couch after dinner watching a soccer match and you have no idea how that always irritated me. And even if I were a girl, why men had to behave like caveman? Michael of course was more sophisticated in that and he would not watch TV and at first I thought he really was different...how could I had been so blind? To think that everything inside me screamed for me to open my eyes. At the beginning he had a very subtle and hidden way to try to control me and I should have seen that way before.

“Enna, is everything good?” Roman brought me back from my thoughts and his hands were now in my hair, tilting my head slightly backward to better stare at my face.

“Yes, sorry I was thinking about something.”

“About what?”

“Nothing important.” He of course did not believe me and his eyes studied mine with such intensity that my knees trembled. I could feel his stare on my skin as a strong hand skimming it, touching my inner thoughts and pulling the strings of my heart.

“You thought about that bastard?” I slightly shivered at the hard and dark sound of his voice, his eyes setting in a grave and cold line. He saw that and tenderly cupped my face. “Forgive me, it is that the idea of that man is..” I placed a finger on his lips.

“I understand what you mean. Yes, for a moment I thought about him and I just asked myself why I didn’t see the truth about him before. I have been so blind and naive, but let us forget about him, please. I do not want to talk about Michael. I want to hear from you.”

Roman seized me with a breathtaking strong look, but my eyes never left his and my hands locked behind his neck.

“Yes my angel. You are right.” I smiled and took a step back, guiding him to the sofa, where I nestled on his laps, his arms securely around me. “What do you want to know?”

“Everything, Roman.”

“I cannot tell you everything, my soul. It is for your good and because I better not say some things.” I nodded and of course he was right. “It is because I do not want to involve you in this, yes?”

“Yes, I understand what you mean, but you can tell me about yourself, right? I mean, about you and not about your...work.” He smirked at that word and tangled his fingers in my hair.

“Difficult to do that, but yes.”

“Will you tell me more about your tattoos?” They really held my curiosity and I wanted to hear what they meant, why he had them. “For example, why religious symbols even if you do not believe in anything? Why the Virgin Mary? The church you said that represented how many years you spent in prison and it sounds so weird to me.” That I could not understand.

“They all have specific meanings that come from old times, and it is not related to religion, correct. They are like a code, they tell the story of the person. This one here on my chest,” he pointed at the Virgin Mary with child. “it means that I did enter the world of my organization when I was young and also that I will never betray my organization and people, but also I will never betray friends and that is true. I never will.” The firmness and authority of his voice was enough to make understand that his words were completely sincere and true. This man here held trust and loyalty like vital principles and I realized just now how this situation between us was probably clashing with those principles and with his “duties.”

“I am a problem for you, right? Your being here with me only creates more problems to you and I am bothering you with questions and maybe you have something to do and I just selfishly ask you to be with me and..” His stare and thumb silenced me and I simply breathed deep, for I felt an incredible wave of emotions coming from him. Why did I not realize before that what I asked him was with all chances creating him problems?

“Do not say that.” He pronounced every single word with grave and raw voice, his eyes flashing in some dark light, holding me there chained and almost in the impossibility to breathe. “Enna, do not say that. I took a decision and it is my responsibility. To be with you is what I want, is what I need. I cannot let go of you, I cannot leave you, my angel; do you understand? I know what my duties are and I will take care of that; do not say anymore you are a problem and selfish. Enna, you are my angel, my soul...my life now. It’s normal you have questions and I will tell you everything about me and yes, part of my life and story is in the tattoos. It is how it works in my world.”

I said nothing for a moment, because I was conflicted. Did I have the right to completely crush his world?

“But Roman..” This time he surprised me by taking my wrists and suddenly pushing me down on my back on the sofa. I must admit I gasped in shock. He was really unimaginably strong and fast.

“Shh...” He said a mere breath away from me. “No more but, Enna, yes? You promise me?” I said nothing, only lost myself in his eyes. “Enna, do you promise me? Because you must understand: I cannot stay without you. And you must understand that if we will have a relationship, it will not work normal at first; I am sorry, but I have duties and I cannot forget about them.”

Those words... I freed my hands and slipped my fingers in his hair and went to completely pull his head down, needing to feel his lips, but of course he resisted. So I closed my eyes and instead pressed my forehead on his. We felt the same and with my doubts I was only making things more difficult for him. Of course he knew what his duties were and of course he was a man that would take care of them and I knew he was not someone to let people down; Roman had everything clear and planned in his mind. He clearly knew the order of his priorities and I understood I was one of them and right now he was trying to fit everything in this intricate and dangerous scheme. It was true what he said; he took a decision and that meant he was aware of his choice and consequences that it brought. How silly and inconsiderate of me.

“Forgive me; I shouldn’t have any doubt about it. Of course you know what you have to do and yes Roman, I promise you. Now, tell me everything about your tattoos and..” I bit my lip slightly nervous. Could I ask him that? I had to. “Tell me about your past and why you entered such world.” Why indeed.

I felt his lips smiling on my skin and in a swift move he pulled both of us up.

“What about this tattoo?” I asked meaning the rose. He first caressed my hair and studied my eyes and when he realized I no more had doubts and insecurities, he smiled and began to explain.

“This was the first one I got and you have it when you become member of a gang or in my case of a group.”

“When did you do it?” I asked honestly curious. “Actually, how old are you?”

“I am twenty eight and I did this tattoo many years ago, when I was fifteen or maybe sixteen, I do not remember well, sorry.” My eyes shot wide open and no matter what; this honestly sounded so surreal and fictional that it took me a couple of minutes to properly assimilate that piece of information. Roman had entered a mafia group when he was only a young teenager. What about his family? What happened to him?

“Roman, you were just a child, why? Where was your family?” I could not help the questions, even thought it pained me to ask, as I felt there was something behind that. He simply shook his head and his expression did not change; he was still calm and focused, as if that matter did not touch him directly.

“I have no family, no parents. I do not know them.” He simply said.

“What?” I barely whispered; Roman cupped the back of my head with his hand and tilted it slightly to the side, silently staring at me. I closed a moment my eyes and just stayed like this few seconds, then opened them and studied his emeralds. There was no trace of sadness in there, no trace of loneliness or emptiness. “What happened to them?”

“I do not know. My mother did not want me and so she left me to a place and I don’t know her name, maybe she was a prostitute, I don’t know; my father, no idea. I only have the surname. I lived in a place...how do you say it in English? A place where you stay when you have no parents.”

“You lived in an orphanage?” My voice came out almost in a mute sound. I didn’t know what to even think about that. Of course it was horrible and wrong and sad, but could I tell him something so obvious? Would that change anything? I hardly believe so and he honestly felt nothing towards that and so showing sorrow or some sort of sympathy would be only out of place.

“Orphanage, yes. But I did not like it, because people there were very hard.” Again, no emotions in his voice, but I felt like crushing in hearing so, and he must have perceived it, because he held me closer. “Enna, you good?”

“Yes, it is just so...” I did not know what to say, so I simply shook my head and hugged him tightly. “Please forgive my silly behaviour, it’s just so overwhelming and I am sorry for being so weak, but to think you were a child and that people were..” I shut my mouth and tightened my arms around him. I needed to feel him.

“Shh, why you keep saying that? To forgive you for what? You are so, I don’t know the right word, Enna, but you are really like an angel for me and your feelings; they are strong, I can feel them.” At his words I swallowed down what came over me, commanding myself to resume some composure and avoid looking this pitiful and immature.

“What happened in there? Did they hit you?” The words came out trembling and it wasn’t for sadness; to my surprise, they came out quivering in anger.

“Yes, sometimes, but it was not the problem. I just did not like it and so I did how to say..”

“You escaped the place?”

“Yes, I did that and when I was maybe fifteen, I met my boss. I was on the streets of Kiev and very hungry, so I did try to steal money from them, because they looked rich, with a big car. I was a stupid kid.” He chuckled in telling that and I could just picture Roman as a child on a street struggling to get food. No wonder this man here was so strong and focused. Either you survive and become strong, or you die. No alternatives in between. “One man did catch me and hit me, but I hit back and almost did break his nose, so the man that is my boss now called me and asked my name and where my family was. When I told him my story, he smiled and put a hand on my shoulder and asked me if I wanted to be like his son. I answered no, because I never trusted strangers and I did not need a family, but he laughed and said he liked that of me. So he asked me if I wanted to work for him and then it was yes. One day I was with him for a normal business deal and one of his men told me few things, how it works when you collect money, but I felt something strange around me, like something was not right and so I looked around and it all happened very fast. Two men did come in the shop and one pointed a gun at my boss; I did react faster, because I pushed him away and the bullet hit me.” I felt all of my blood leaving me when I heard that and my entire body stiffened in dread. “Enna?” He called for me. “Are you good?” I just nodded and he softly chuckled. “Do not worry, the bullet hit my shoulder and it is difficult for me to feel pain.”

I swallowed down at those words.

“What do you mean?” I whispered. He shook his head and caressed my hair.

“I almost never feel pain, I do not know why, it is like that. And believe me; it is very good in my world.” He smirked in such way that my blood froze for an instant. I wasn’t scared of him, oh dear me, of course not, but it was still quite a shock to hear that and many images jumped and crowded my mind and I felt many emotions almost suffocating me. He might have a high tolerance for pain, but the mere idea of him hurting had me go crazy with dread.

The more I heard from Roman, the more I began to completely understand what sort of man he was. And again I felt stupid for having even only slightly doubted of him before; this man here knew no fear or pain and of course he would know how to deal with everything. But even if he was such cold and dangerous man, Roman was capable of unconditioned and crushing love, and I was the one that felt it.

“What happened then?” I tried to ask; he studied my eyes and face and twirling a strand of my hair around his finger, he smiled again in that tender way and my anxiety washed away.

“I saved his life, so my boss decided to train me and keep me close to him; he asked a man to teach me everything and we still work together. They did teach me everything, as how to use weapons, how to kill, deal small business...but also gave me everything I needed and I never missed my family, never thought of look for them. Why do that? They did not want me.” He said with completely calm voice. “A year and few months ago they decided I was ready to receive the stars on my knees, you saw them, yes?” I nodded and focused my eyes on his; now I was shivering in curiosity. What could they mean? “It is a great honour to have stars on your knees, because it means you are like a captain, you have people under you, and it means you do not go on your knees in front of anyone. Never.” The strength and commanding note of his voice made me breathe harder. I felt shivers running down my spine and even if I was not scared of Roman, dear me, I could not ignore the impact his voice had on my emotions. It really was an honour for him and it meant something very important.

“Does it mean you are like in a high ranked position in your organization?”

He thought about my questions, probably considering the words I said, and then he nodded.

“Yes Enna, I am. I am Roman with the stars and people respect and fear me, and that is how it has to be.” Such authority in his tone and eyes. Yes, I could perfectly understand that and it was what I felt the first time we met in that club; people respected him and feared him, but I was sure not just because of the stars. It was in his nature and I think he enjoyed that, even though not in a wrong way. It was his world and of course for him respect and intimidation were vital, that little could be comprehended even by someone like me.

“I like them.” I suddenly said and a surprised look flashed briefly on his handsome face. “Yes, I like those stars and I like all of your tattoos. Why did you come to Ireland?”

He said nothing for few seconds and then exhaled quietly.

“I cannot say much about it; we had some problems in Kiev with a rival group that wants our territory and more, and for some reasons I am here to take care of everything.” At his guarded words I remembered something else.

“You said that Roman is your real name, so does it mean you are travelling with a fake identity?” It might be a risky question, but I needed to know. His eyes held my gaze for few seconds and I knew he was considering how to answer me.

“Yes and Enna, I need to ask you something. Did you tell your friends about me? Do they know my name?”

I shook my head. For some reason my instinct told me to keep his name only for me and apparently it was the best thing to do.

“No, they don’t know your name, I did not tell them, but Priya knows I slept with you and Cillian knows I slept with a stranger, but nothing more. He asked me, but I said nothing about you or anything else, you can trust me in that.” At my words both of his hands went on my face and there was possession in the way they held me, but it was a touching and sincere possession and I loved it. His emeralds seized my eyes in a way that communicated me his deeper thoughts and emotions. He smiled again tenderly and many feelings rushed in my veins and body.

“I know that and I do trust you, my angel.” No hesitation in his voice and I melted in hearing that. “I have no doubts about you and thank you for say nothing. It is better for you and your friends.”

“I understand, thank you for telling me everything.” But something else suddenly crushed in me. He was here to deal with what was going to be a very dangerous situation and that threw me in a state of agitation and fear. I knew what sort of man he was, but he was still a human being. I shifted on him, straddling his legs and then took his hands in mine. “Please Roman, promise me to take care of yourself and be careful, please? I know it is your job and your duties and of course you are an incredible man, but please, the idea of something happening to you is unbearable and frightens me and...”

“Shh, you still talk very fast.” One of his hands reached for the back of my neck and cupped it with decisive and firm grip, not harsh, but as to assess what he was going to say. “Enna, do not worry about me, yes? There is no need. It is a promise.”

I bit my lower lip at a loss of words; Roman was not saying that to make me feel better, because that was not the tone of his voice. His words and his firm and magnetic stare told me he told me a simple fact, and I knew he would keep his promise.

“Yes, I understand.” Right now it was the only thing I could say.

Then he changed expression and it grew more grave and serious, while he sort of softly pushed me back creating some space between us, taking my sides in his solid grip. Again his eyes studied me and again I felt his gaze as if physically roaming and touching my bare skin.

“My angel, now you know who I am and what I do. I killed people and if you ask if I feel sorry for that, the answer is no. That is part of my job. But I never killed a woman or a child and I would never do that or use violence on them. My organization deals with prostitution, but I do not take part of that, the boss understands me. And Enna,” and in that  moment he drew me so close to him that this time our lips sort of touched and I felt completely breathless, entirely in his hands. “I would never hurt you, never. I would die for you, my angel, believe me and now that you know who I am, you can decide what to do with me. My soul and heart are completely in your hands.”

Author's chit-chat:

Now Roman has left the question there for Ennna to answer and decide;  he's in his hands. What will happen next?

What do you think? It's been quite the intense chapter, don't you agree? We learnt more about Roman and his personality, even from the way he told his story and past to Enna, don't you think?

They sure share a special bond and that helps Enna in facing the whole situation, because it sure is not easy to assimilate all of it, but he's special. 

What do you think will happen next? We still don't know what happened to Igor and then how Roman will deal with everything. 

I'll update soon!!!

Until next time!