💖 Tie my heart 💖

When Taehyung arrived back home at dawn, he tried not to analyse the reasons for tiptoeing around like some teenager coming home past curfew.

He took his shoes off outside and snuck in soundlessly, even hanging on to his keys tightly so they wouldn't jingle in the silence and wake Jeong Gyu. Taehyung told himself he was doing this so as to not disturb him and for no other reason. He told himself he wasn't feeling guilty about where he had been, at all, not one bit. No matter how many times he told himself that, it didn't stop him from feeling it.

Leaving his shoes by the door, he crept along in the dimness lessened only by the glowing dawn peeking through the windows. He wanted to get a drink of water from the kitchen.

"Morning."

The rough voice made Taehyung jump out of his skin because it was unusual -unheard of- that Jeong Gyu was up at this hour, the sun wasn't even up yet.

The figure of Jeong Gyu was dark in a way that had very little to do with the ambient dim rosy hues of the room. He was sitting at the dinner table without the lights on, as if he were the parent just about to tell off the teenager who had snuck out without permission -and Taehyung couldn't help but to feel like one.

"Where have you been?" he asked, his voice more or less neutral, if a little tired, fed up.

His motivation for asking was clearly mild curiosity, he was not chastising Taehyung, he just wanted to know where he had been -entirely understandable considering neither of them remembered the last time Taehyung would have gone out, let alone for the whole night.

Taehyung tried to think of suitable alternative excuses for his going out clothes, dishevelled appearance and bruised lips but couldn't come up with anything. He hoped that the come stains on his silk shirt weren't as obvious as they had been when he had straightened himself out at the club.

Earlier, dawn had only just started painting subtle colours onto the canvas of the horizon when Taehyung had gotten into the taxi JungKook had called for him.

While they had waited for it, Taehyung had been quiet, not knowing what to say -not trusting himself to say anything, in case it was stupid, in case he would let it slip that he was here under false pretences, in case he told JungKook how much he wanted to see him again. For some reason admitting that felt like a weakness that would be used against him.

JungKook responded to Taehyung's internal panic by pulling him into a gentle kiss while wrapping him in an embrace that felt... strong, like one that would hold him up if he needed it to. Taehyung didn't have a word for it but he felt it in his skin as a sudden yearning, in his insides as an unexpected glow -and it had nothing to do with sex.

Taehyung found himself responding to JungKook on so many levels, not just purely physically. He was continually surprised by JungKook's ability to detect his moods and how he always reacted to them, catching him off guard, always doing just the thing Taehyung needed him to do. It concerned him because it was exactly the sort of thing that was easy to get used to and easy to want more of.

He had been right about so many things, it made Taehyung fear the transparency JungKook seemed to nurture within him.

He'd been right about Taehyung being submissive -he was mostly willing to admit that to himself now because he had recognised the feelings of relief and peace that JungKook had described in relation to owning up to one's true self. Taehyung wasn't quite there yet but he was well on his way there and willing to explore more -if it was with JungKook.

When he had started on his vendetta, it had never occurred to Taehyung that he might actually enjoy what he was getting involved in.

Taehyung had only gotten a snippet of what pleasure could be like with JungKook and he felt his stomach flip and flip and flip at the thought of it as if he were already on the rollercoaster ride he was only just about to embark on.

While they had waited, Taehyung gazed into JungKook's dark eyes for a moment too long, overanalysing everything like he always did, wondering if he had what it took to really do this.

Suddenly the need for revenge seemed to morph more into curiosity over what actually happened rather than blind rage over Jeong Gyu's situation.

Maybe things weren't as simple as Taehyung had assumed?

Either way, Taehyung was confused because he didn't know if he were genuinely changing his mind about JungKook and what might have happened or if he were just convincing himself that an alternative scenario was possible just so that he could feel better about being with him.

Taehyung could no longer force himself to hate JungKook and the ramifications of this worried him. After all, if he were able to reduce his negative feelings to more or less neutral feelings then was it possible that neutral feelings might develop into something positive? Because that, certainly, wasn't allowed. Taehyung didn't do feelings either.

Taehyung wanted to come clean. He wanted to tell JungKook right now why he was here, what he had come here to do and why because it was obvious that there would be a time when he would have to tell JungKook about who he really was and the longer he waited the harder it would be to say it... and the worse the consequences.

But he couldn't bring himself to be quite that honest yet -he couldn't say anything because... he wanted more. He needed it.

It was uncharacteristically selfish and deceitful of Taehyung to want to do this, to actually do this. His good intentions had gotten tangled with his own desires and he was now in a mess of his own making, no idea how to get out of it.

He had truly fallen from his pedestal of self-righteous revenge and was about to be debauched by the devil himself. And he wanted it -more than he had ever wanted anything in his life.

Jeong Gyu was still looking at Taehyung expectantly, waiting for his explanation about where he' d been all night.

Taehyung could see the glint in his dark eyes even in the dimness of the kitchen. He wanted to put the light on but felt frozen like a deer in headlights. What would Jeong Gyu do if he found out -how would he feel?

"Went out. Knackered, I need to sleep." That definitely wasn't a lie. Taehyung's limbs felt like there were going to liquefy at any given moment from the looseness he was feeling, caused directly by JungKook.

"Who'd you go with? You don't even know anyone..." Taehyung couldn't shake the feeling that Jeong Gyu was being suspicious, or maybe it was just his guilty mind making it seem so. He smiled nonetheless, nonchalant. Just because he didn't have time to make friends or have a social life, it didn't mean that he wouldn't occasionally try and have one.

"I had a date." It was almost true. Another small lie to add to the pile of lies already collecting, building another, even more magnificent scaffolding of lies inside Taehyung's heart.

A hint of annoyance over the questioning appeared perching on Taehyung's knitting brow. He observed Jeong Gyu carefully to try and see if there was any suspicion behind his questioning.

Even though there was no reason why Jeong Gyu would suspect anything, Taehyung couldn't help but to think back to the conversation they had had about JungKook -right at the beginning of everything- and how Taehyung had squeezed the truth out of him. The way he had found out about JungKook and how he had been so adamant on finding out what had happened with him.

Considering how well Jeong Gyu knew Taehyung, it wasn't a huge stretch of imagination to think that he might have done something about it.

There was more to it though. The unease also stemmed from the fact that it was highly unusual for Jeong Gyu to be interested in other people's business. He had never before asked Taehyung what he had been up to, usually they only spoke about what Jeong Gyu had been doing.

Taehyung did use to wonder if this habit was because Jeong Gyu wasn't interested in Taehyung's doings before he realised that his little brother tended to be somewhat self-centred. Whether that was a little brother thing or a Jeong Gyu thing, Taehyung couldn't say.

"Guess it went well then, going by the look of you...." Scrunching his nose in disgust at the stains on Taehyung's front, he murmured and walked off, clearly having used up his quota of social interactions for the day. He left Taehyung standing in the kitchen, embarrassed with a face the same colour as his stained shirt, but for some reason, feeling relieved.

Taehyung let go of the breath he hadn't realised he was holding.

The guilt that he had been pushing away by doing his usual denying, came crashing down and Taehyung nearly collapsed at the weight of it. So this is what they mean by Guilty Pleasure... he now understood the phrase on a completely new level.

What the hell was I thinking?

An intense pain like a kick in the guts hit Taehyung when he realised that he'd fucked up, big time.

Not only was JungKook never going to forgive Taehyung when he found out who he was and why they had met but Jeong Gyu was never going to forgive him either.

Jeong Gyu would never forgive him for having gone to JungKook. Fuck, fuck, fuck!

There was never going to be a way he could explain so that either of them would understand.

He should stop now. Taehyung told himself. He really should.

But his body was still glowing in an unfamiliar way.

He felt like he'd been lovingly shredded into colourful pieces, only to be sewn back together all higgledy-piggledy, no less colourful but all in the wrong order, the resulting fabric much warmer and softer to the touch. He barely recognised it, he barely recognised himself.

Taehyung had been right in thinking that getting involved with JungKook would change him and change scared him. Taehyung did not do change... but he was beginning to see the possibility that change wasn't always a bad thing.

Earlier, after Taehyung's earthquake of an orgasm, when JungKook had held him in a way that he'd never been held before -patiently, kindly, with understanding... dare he even say, with loving care- Taehyung had been floating back down from a cloud of gold which had tinted his insides with simmering warmth.

He still didn't know what it all meant but it felt like something significant had relaxed inside him.

Taehyung asked JungKook what it all meant and he'd said:

"I'm not entirely sure Taehyung, only you'll have the answer to that but I think that maybe you are that tiny bit closer to who you're meant to be. If you want me to, I'll help you find the rest of you... together?" his voice was so soft and gentle.

"What about the list...?" Taehyung was so exhausted, mentally, physically, he could barely speak.

"Don't worry about the list for now. I need to get you home and into bed, you need to sleep on it and think about it. We can talk about the paperwork the next time I'll see you... assuming I'll see you?"

The hint of unexpected insecurity in JungKook's voice warmed Taehyung's heart because it meant that this was important to him too, that he wasn't just some random person, Taehyung was someone significant.

There was no denying it anymore. This was something big.

"Of course I will, silly." Taehyung had said, planting a wet kiss on his cheek.

*

With the morbid guilt that had flared up after seeing JungKook, Taehyung had tried so hard, but despite his best efforts to forget the whole thing, he found himself constantly thinking about JungKook.

His everyday life might have carried on as normal: work, shopping, cooking, washing, but inside, his mind was stuck on this completely different world that he'd stumbled upon.

He couldn't stop thinking about the way JungKook made him feel like his skin was on fire, just by the way he spoke -the dip in his voice when it dropped down- or how his hands could be gentle and hard at the same time, how he seemed to know the exact speed and pressure to use to inflict the maximum amount of pleasure -until Taehyung was reduced to shuddering putty in his hands.

Taehyung was almost embarrassed to admit that someone as capable and independent as him could lose all of his faculties and give into desire in such a wanton and.... seemingly irresponsible way.

He didn't quite understand it yet but it was beginning to dawn on him how there could be freedom in rules and restrictions, even happiness in giving in. Giving away all the power -as scary as it felt- would mean that one didn't need to make decisions, take responsibility, do anything... all one would have to do was surrender to it, be brave and trust to be taken care of safely.

Taehyung didn't do trust.

So despite all of his reservations and all the barriers that he'd made up, built up and lied to himself about, Taehyung was so tempted, morbidly tempted. There was only so long he could listen to his body's begging to feel more of the way it felt with JungKook.

His insides were screaming.

His body was craving.

He was going crazy.

He couldn't concentrate on anything. Every texture, every sound, every movement of his body reminded him of JungKook's skin, lips, fingers, tongue, his hard grip, his strength, his... power.

Taehyung had to see JungKook before his need destroyed his sanity.

In his desperation, Taehyung figured that since he had already lied about having had a date, adding a few more dates at the back of that wasn't that bad of a lie.

The need in him was so acute that he'd gone past worrying about lying or feeling guilty about it -at this point he was willing to do pretty much anything, just to see JungKook again.

So he lied to Jeong Gyu -through his teeth- about going out with "the guy" again, he even said he might go a few more times in the next few weeks, because he quite liked him, apparently. In a bout of guilt he added that he would always let Jeong Gyu know when he'd be going out, so he didn't have to worry.

"Tae. I'm an adult. You're an adult. You really don't have to tell me where you go, dude." He rolled his eyes with almost as much attitude he used to have before all this started.

Secretly, Taehyung was relieved that he didn't have to make up any more lies -for a while at least.

"Sure, okay big guy." The way Taehyung smiled at Jeong Gyu, reminded him of why there hadn't been many smiles like that for some months now. Taehyung tried his very best not to think about the fact that the man he spent all his time thinking about basically destroyed his brother, yet the thought broke his heart, nonetheless.

Now, having provided himself with a suitable alibi, Taehyung no longer had an excuse not to see JungKook.

Hands shaking, he texted him to ask when he could see him. His reply was only one word but it was enough to send waves of heat up and down Taehyung's body: tonight.

There was an additional message: The Club 10pm.Be ready to see the play room.

With that, Taehyung lost all ability to breathe.

Trying not to explode from a mixture of panic, excitement and lust, Taehyung struggled to put together a coherent thought or two.

What was in the play room? Would they use it "to play"? If they did, what could possibly happen? His stomach twisted with anticipation.

It didn't take long for Taehyung to work himself up into a flustered frenzy over the million possibilities that those two short messages could entail, none of which he had any power over.

So, focusing on things that he did have power over, Taehyung got ready somewhat obsessively grooming and washing and moisturising and scenting until his skin glowed like golden honey. His hair was a shining, silver wave over his forehead, his eyes slightly smoky and a hint of colour tinted his full lips. Because he had noticed how JungKook reacted to his signature scent of vanilla, he stuck to it.

Not knowing exactly what was going to happen, Taehyung decided on less jewellery, both on his hands and his ears, feeling a little naked in comparison to what he was used to.

It was impossible to decide what to wear -was there a dress code for play rooms? Taehyung decided on a very oversized white shirt that had a habit of sliding off his shoulders a little, revealing collar bones here and there with his signature almost-white shredded jeans.

Taehyung wondered if he should worry about the lightness of his heart or the eagerness of his feet when he practically flew to the club, something fluttering in his chest.

He didn't even see any of the milling bodies he had to dodge, he practically ran through them and made his way up to the stairway to heaven (or hell?) two steps at a time, excitement bursting out of him, egging him on.

It didn't matter how many days it had been since Taehyung had been here, the second he saw JungKook, his body came alive and he was pulled as if by gravity to his matching celestial body.

No longer feeling his feet move, as if floating, he approached JungKook, finally losing the subtle edge of anxiety that had nestled within him the second he had gone away from him last time.

Taehyung burst out laughing when he got to JungKook.

"Nice to see you too, what's so funny?" JungKook said struggling to breathe after the kick of Taehyung's smile hit him. It was the brightest, widest, funniest and the most beautiful smile JungKook had ever seen and it literally took his breath away.

"The way we've dressed the absolute opposites of each other -you're like the devil all in black and I'm like some..."

"Angel." JungKook finished the sentence and immediately Taehyung's stomach fell to the depths of him because he said it with The Voice and the very second he said it, Taehyung's mind was transported to where he had last heard it and his body instantly responded, his spine tingling.

Even someone who wasn't attuned to observing other people's body language would have picked up on Taehyung's reaction to the pet name -his eyes rolled and closed, a small puff of air leaving his open lips while a shudder travelled his body.

Feeling the palpable heat simmering between them, JungKook stepped right into Taehyung's space without touching him and whispered into his ear:

"I missed you too. Couldn't stop thinking about you..." His voice was a deep hum, his fingers ghosting over the curve of Taehyung's waist.

Annoyed at himself -for being so completely overwhelmed by his feelings that JungKook could reduce him to a quivering mess with just a single word- and wanting some payback for the embarrassment- Taehyung grabbed a hold of JungKook's shirt, wrinkling the sheer, black fabric and pulled him in for a kiss.

It was just a nibble, a little wet suck and a lick of JungKook's lower lip but it was enough for Taehyung to taste the citrus of his drink, feel the heat and wetness of his mouth and it made a small moan drip out of Taehyung directly onto the soft flesh of JungKook's lips.

In a flash, a familiar firm arm circled Taehyung's waist, pulling him in tightly, with a thick thigh pushing between his legs, nudging directly against his cock.

Taehyung decided it was a bizarre feeling having no control over one's body.

Instantly, he felt like a rag doll, arms suddenly limp by his sides, back gently arching, neck opening, his legs hardly supporting him, being held up purely by JungKook's vice of a grip over his waist and the thigh pushing between his legs.

JungKook's tattooed fingers gripped Taehyung's jaw firmly, bringing their faces together within breathing distance.

The look on JungKook's face was hard but hot, it was exactly the way Taehyung remembered him when he was wearing his Dom trousers and immediately, he felt his cock twitch against the thigh pushing on it.

They were in the middle of the bar, in front of everyone, yet, in that moment they only saw each other.

No one would have even considered batting an eye lid at the two of them entangling like that in a sex club but it was all a bit ridiculous considering they had only exchanged a few words before it had all escalated into kisses and fondling like words didn't even matter.

JungKook's arm was a hot belt surrounding Taehyung's midriff, oozing heat that travelled all over his body to the tips of his toes and ears and the depths of his rib cage making everything hum expectantly.

Just when Taehyung thought he couldn't possibly feel any more turned on, JungKook whispered darkly with his lips drifting right over Taehyung's.

"Who gave you permission to kiss me?"

The question was quiet but a firm reprimand delivered gently... Taehyung gasped and blushed at the unexpected question, thinking it had to have been a joke, right? But the tone used -which was a tone Taehyung had never heard being used with him- caused him to be somewhat flustered and apologetic, wholly contrary to his general confident demeanour.

Question like that seemed like it should be something immature, a tease, a flippant remark yet the darkness in JungKook's eyes was entirely serious and the firm demand in it made Taehyung grateful for the arm around him for his knees were wobbling dangerously at the thought of what that gaze might entail, if opposed.

"Im-a -hm sorry?" He practically panted, momentarily panicking enough that his limp arms found a sudden burst of energy and climbed over the muscled chain around him to push it away. But it was no use, his fingers just got distracted with touching instead, as soon as they felt the silky, hard heat under them.

"The only reason you're not on my knee right now with your pants down getting your ass spanked bright pink is the fact that I, also, really wanted to kiss you..." his voice was a low growl.

"Ohh...." Was all that came out of Taehyung after that.

JungKook admired the rose red cheeks and the delectable O shaped mouth and the wide eyes he had so missed. He hadn't forgotten how well Taehyung fitted into his arms but he enjoyed the reminder, the instant heat, the sudden need to ravage him, it was like pure adrenaline.

He could feel Taehyung's hardening cock against his thigh and it turned him on so, so much he ached inside. The ease at which Taehyung reacted to him was astounding and JungKook felt his heart skip a beat at what was in store if everything happened the way he hoped.

"I think we need to leave before I'm going to do something we'll both regret. There's only so much a sex club owner can get away with..." he smirked, intertwining his fingers with Taehyung's before releasing him slowly enough for him to find his feet before letting go of his waist.

Taehyung's face was coy when he arranged his clothes to best hide his raging hard-on.

JungKook slid a thumb down the side of Taehyung's cheek, speaking close to him: "I'm so glad to see you... you have no idea, Taehyung." A sudden glow -nothing to do with his burning body- lit up around Taehyung's heart.

They made their way through the same double doors that led to JungKook's office. Taehyung was surprised. Was the play room here? He hadn't known what to expect but he had thought it would be somewhere more private.

JungKook walked straight past his office, pulling Taehyung along until they reached the door at the end which led to another set of stairs.

"There's also a lift downstairs but this was a quicker route from where we were."

Another flight of stairs later they went through another set of doors to yet another corridor. This one was carpeted, similar to a high-end hotel's corridor. The subtle, warm colours of ochre and dark khaki were lit periodically with subtle light fixtures on the walls but there were no pictures nor windows.

"All the doors between here and the club are locked and there are only a handful of people who can open them. I'm the only person who can open these two doors." He reassured before pointing at the two doors opposite each other.

"This is my place." He pointed to the right.

"This is the play room." He pointed to the left.

Taehyung was speechless. Why it was such a big deal, Taehyung had no idea. Club owners often lived where their clubs were. He had no idea where play rooms normally were but I guess it made sense to have it near where you lived...

"Is this OK?" JungKook's eyes were asking more than just that.

Taehyung nodded.

"Words, Angel." He smiled the words out gently, not quite his darker self yet.

"Yes. Yes, I'm OK, I mean, it's OK." A little smile wobbled on Taehyung's lips.

"Are you having doubts? Cause if you are, that's perfectly OK. You can leave at any point, I just need you to talk to me and tell me what's going on. If you're worried about something, just ask, OK?" He pushed a curl behind Taehyung's ear, gently stroking his ear lobe.