This chapter is dedicated to TOLA_AISH.
Thank you for your votes and comments. It means a lot to me💜

*

I can do this.

Can I do this?

I can't do this!

"Hey...remember you're still a big sister right? I doubt Kelly will appreciate having a feeble sister. Man up!" Ivy said--more like instructed me.

We were already at the parking lot of my school. Kelly couldn't come because she was still at the hospital. It hurts because Kelly has always been a jovial type of person and seeing her just slumped lazily on a bed was a very different and completely rare view.

I wasn't comfortable with it. I wanted my annoying sister back.

'Just like the way she wants her strong and reliable elder sis back'.

"I want you to stand your ground and walk in like a different person, walk in like you don't give a shit about your past or the mistake you have made, show them that you've learnt the hard way and you're a better person now. Surprise them! Make them know that you don't need them to feel superior, you don't need them to be able to love yourself," she adviced, looking at me straight in the eye and stroking my hair quickly and continuously.

"Go in there and show them that you might have fallen...but you can still achieve your goals."

I nodded in reply.

"I'm Stella Downer," I muttered.

"Yes you are."

"I'm Stella Downer," I said, a bit louder and clearer this time.

She nodded her head and looked at me with a bright smile on her face.

"Thanks Ivy...you're the best," I appreciated before finally getting my ass off the seat and out of the car.

"Remember, there's a thin line between pride and self esteem....don't cross that line," she finally said through the car window before flashing me a smile and driving off.

I took a deep breathe before walking as confident as I could into the school building.

I mean, if I could survive a bunch of crazy juvenile teenagers, then I would be able to handle this.

I could feel gazes on me but I chose not to even give a glance back, or to my side.

I decided to just look forward. Just foward, I didn't mean to meet up to anyone's gaze so that my hard earned confidence won't be drained in a flash.

I finally stepped into the hallway and it already felt worse.

There were a bunch of students looking at me!

It's not like I looked at them but my side vision was betraying me.

It made me feel so uneasy and my mind couldn't stop from wandering.

I could tell what was in their minds...

A murderer.

She killed her own friend.

Is she out of jail already?

Eeww, she went to jail.

She's a used piece of trash, she was even used to seal a deal between Landor Jackson and her ex boyfriend who's now dating her rival who was once her prey.

Pathetic.

Her friends even ditched her for Cheryl of all goddamn people.

She's such a loser.

But maybe that was all I felt of myself. My insecurities were back. Hitting me like a bomb!

I needed to shove it a way.

No.

I wouldn't let it get the best of me.

I'm. Stella. Downer.

I'm. Stella.

I'm.

I...

I took a deep breath as I finally got to my locker.

I rested my head against the locker for a period of seconds.

The distance felt like I walked round the earth. I wish atleast someone could just walk up to me right now and assure me that everything is going to be fine.

But no...

I'm alone in this.

Atleast, I didn't get to encounter anyone of my worst highschool nightmares on the way here.

It was a huge relief and I just hope I could just get to class almost unnoticed.

I punched in my combination and yanked my locker open. It was all scattered.

I couldn't believe it.

It was just the way I'd left it.

A white note caught my attention and I opened it.

'To the one that ownes my heart.'

I flinged it immediately like it was a hot metal or something.

This burnt more than hot metal in my heart.

I wonder what it was still doing here, how I'd managed to not get rid of it all this time. I didn't need to be reminded of my foolishness.

I managed to arrange my things a bit and get some of the things I needed but before I could close the locker, I felt someone tap me from behind.

I froze.

Please don't be who I think you are.

I don't think I'm ready for any further emotional destruction.

"So aren't you gonna turn around or do I really need to snap your neck..."

"Shawty."

The voice had me stunned.

Could it be real?

I swirled on my heels till I was face to face with her.

Face to face with Roxie Johnes.

'Suprised' is an understatement. I was shocked.

Before my brain could process any other thing, I pulled her in for a hug. A very tight hug that was capable of even choking her to death.

But ofcourse I pulled put before anything of that kind happened.

"Don't you think it's important for me to breathe?"

I couldn't even tell if she was being sarcastic or not.

"I...I..I..."

"You miss me, huh?" She interrupted my stammer.

"Yeah...yeah I do..I wasn't just expecting to see you here...I thought that you're gone or maybe you've forgotten about me or something. I'm just so thrilled to see you," I blurted.

"Ofcourse I didn't forget you, just needed to work extra hard to be able to earn enough to take care of things, my sister, my self. Atleast to be able to be enrolled into your school," she replied.

That sounded like the sweetest thing in the world in my ears.

"When did you start here?"

"About three days ago," she replied and I realized that was why Kelly didn't know yet.

She wasn't at school and my mom never allows any of us close to our phones when we're sick.

Sometimes she even claims that it's the cause of the sickness itself.

Assuming she had known then she would have rang it continuously in my ears even if she was in a critical state of death.

When my eyes drifted off Roxie, I noticed a lot of students were looking at our direction.

Except this time, I couldn't even guess what was probably on their mind.

"Bothered?"

"What?"

"You're bothered because everyone's looking. I can tell but don't let it get to you. I'm completely comfortable with it because for the past three days that had been my fate, besides it seems like everyone wants to suddenly have something to do with me but I don't give a shit about it," she said quickly.

"That's all about Ashton, bae. Everyone trying to have a social status, everyone trying to be something big...even if it means being fake...or living at another person's expense...It's sad, sad that that was how my life had been all these years." I replied.

"Ooowww...and I signed a few autographs," She said playfully and laughed, probably trying to ease the air around us.

"I'm not surprised and I'm sure you hit the school news head line the moment you stepped foot in here," I continued.

Only a few moments passed before I noticed the hall getting a bit quiet than before. I noticed that that almost everyone--though not everyone--had their attention fixed in a particular direction.

Yeah. The door.

Yeah. Cheryl and my ex friends were walking in.

And Cheryl looked annoyed as she braced her way roughly through the hallway with Tianna and Amber trying to keep up with her pace.

"Calm down," Tianna said when they got towards Cheryl's locker.

"And why should I calm down! You two are just dumb assholes. You can never do anything right! Bring my books over, no! Order the right pizza, no! Nothing!" She yelled at them and I couldn't help but flinch too along with Amber and Tianna but it seems like any other person isn't surprised.

"Where's my coffee?" She asked.

"It's here," Amber said lightly, handing over the packaged cup of coffee to her.

Cheryl yanked it from her immediately and glared at her before taking a sip.

She spat it out immediately, some of the liquid splattering on Amber's clothes.

"Buy the right coffee! No! How many times do I need to tell you that I don't take sugar in my coffee on a Monday morning because I must have had a lot during the weekend! What's wrong with you two," she said, forcefully handing over the cup back to her.

She opened her locker, brought out a few books before handing it over to Tianna.

"Get it to class for me, I'm waiting," she finally said before making her way to the class.

Wow.

Just. Wow.

"Almost like the scene that occurred the last time. I think it's like a normal routine," Roxie said from beside me, taking a bite from a chocolate bar that must have been in her jacket pocket.

"Really?"

"Yeah...Cheryl right? The one you told me about," she asked and I nodded in reply.

I don't think she was able to spot me in between all that ranting.

"So, those pathetic duo were your friends?"

I nodded again.

It's so overwhelmed how things had changed. I might have been a sort of bad and controlling friend but I don't think it can be compared to this. Cheryl was just being plain mean and extending all her revenge on them.

They're dumb enough to think that Cheryl didn't hate them too when they were like my accomplice in crime back then.

They were blinded by their want for clout.

But I wonder why they hadn't decided to leave her yet after all these.

"I heard that Cheryl has something against them, she's probably going to spill if they don't comply," Roxie said like she knew what was in my mind.

"Trust me...I know how that feels," I replied.

"Oopps! To much chocolate, I think I need to use the bathroom real quick," Roxie suddenly said before dashing out without a reply from me.

Yeah. I also know how that feels.

I turned to close my locker, completely averting my gaze from Tianna or Amber.

I didn't want to feel bad for them.

I mean, even if we weren't completely a perfect set of friends, even if we were just like organisms in a mutual relationship, simply trying to get something from the other...

Friends with benefit.

It doesn't still change the fact that we'd been close for almost four years now and I still felt a bit attatched to them.

I put the books I managed to get from my locker into my bag and turned to leave.

Trying so hard not to meet the gaze of people staring at me like I'm a television and also trying to make it as quickly as I can to my class.

But it wasn't as easy as I thought..

Because I was forced to stand still on a spot when someone walked in.

To be clear, alot of people had walked through that door but this one caught all of my attention..

Because it was Timothy...

Not just the Timothy with an extremely sexy dishaveled hair on a plain shirt.

I don't know what really actually changed.

If it was the perfectly brushed blonde hair on his head...

Or the bad ass sneakers he was rocking on his feet..

This was a Timothy on a whole new level.

On a level I don't think anyone can deal with.

By anyone, I mean me...