"Another cup please...." I ordered from my table.

I had driven out of the school earlier, the gate was left opened and the security officers weren't on their duty posts.

Made it easier for me to drive out without any unnecessary attention.

I'd been driving just around and round the neighborhood, I was driving at a very high speed, it was like I was relishing all my emotions on the steering wheel and the acceleration.

I was......scared.

I had dropped by one of my best places after roaming round the street for about an hour.

'Royal creams.'

A young girl about Ivy's age or so, came a few moments later with another cup of mixed flavored icecream with it's accompanying spoon.

I guess she's a new waitress here.

I took the spoon immediately she dropped it and took a large chunk of icecream from the big clear plate into my mouth.

I noticed that she was still standing there.

"Are you okay?" She asked and I looked up to her.

I feigned a chuckle.

"If all the horrible things happening to me is a definition of 'okay' then I'm okay," I replied.

She looked at my table and I did too, it made me realize that there were already six empty cups on it.

Why should she even care? Isn't she meant to be happy that they're selling their product?

"Please seek help when you can...before it gets worse....before it gets to a point when you can no longer control it," was what she said before packing all the empty cups into a tray, cleaning the table and leaving...

Leaving me to ponder on whatever she'd just said.

*

I'm gonna tell them....

I'm going to open up to them.

Tell them everything that has been bothering me all this while.

They're my family after all, they'll understand right?

It was already around five in the evening, I had ditched school for the rest of the day and I stayed in 'Royal creams' for about three hours before finding my way home in a very slow, steady ride.

I was still in my car, even if I had parked it in my driveway for about fifteen minutes.

I was mentally preparing myself for whatever was going to happen.

I got out of the car and took slow steps towards the door.

From outside, I could hear sounds from inside that seemed like an argument, I was hearing loud voices but I couldn't make out the words.

I started overthinking telling them.

Even started thinking twice about going in.

But I had to do it, I had already made up my mind. Procrastination shouldn't be an option...

Tomorrow might be too late.

I fondled with the doorknob and opened it slowly. Immediately it was fully opened, all the noise stopped and all eyes were on me.

Mom's....Ivy's.....Kelly's.

Okay...this is the second time this is happening to me today.

Wait! Kelly! I hadn't driven her back home, she must have found a way herself.

Poor girl, she just had to be the one suffering directly from all my shortcomings.

I was a bit glad Dad wasn't here, not like I didn't want him around....

Did I just think that?

Well....it just felt a bit weird if I get to talk about these issues in front of him.

The fact that they all kept silent and focused their gaze on me gave me the confidence to speak up.

Or were they perhaps talking about me?

"Mom....Ivy....Kelly, please can I have a word with you?" I asked with a faint voice, trying so hard to put myself together.

Kelly was sitting on one of the couches while mom and Ivy were standing, facing each other, infact they had to turn their necks to look at me.

Seems like they were arguing.

"Yeah....I think you have more than a lot to say! A lot of things you'd been doing in your spare time," my mom raised her voice, each word dripping with sarcasm.

"Mom....." Ivy started but was interrupted.

"Don't get into this! You support this right?! And here I am, thinking that you would be able to distinguish between right and wrong, I had left you in control, you just had one thing to do! To take care of your sisters....one thing! Just one thing!" My mom shouted at Ivy who looked like she was already filled up with so much emotions.

"So that's how it is now?! Do you think it's that easy! I was barely fifteen and I already had all the burdens of a mother to carry....I tried my best mom, trying to balance taking care of this house, my sisters and my own personal life. I felt like I loosed a huge part of my teenagehood but I never for once ever blamed you mom....even till now.....even right now because I understand the fact that it wasn't your fault.....that it was just a result of uncalled circumstances but you just don't understand me! Any of us! You don't!" Ivy retorted.

"Did you think it was all easy for me! I had to make sure you all got what you ever wanted. I made sure all three of you never lacked a thing no matter what it takes...I didn't just expect my own daughter which I had sacrificed so much for, to be wasting her life on a guy's bed!"

It hit me! She must've seen the video.

But how? I wonder how far it'd gone!

She turned to face me.

"So Stella! Did you ever need anything that I couldn't provide? Was it that dress or shoe that you saw at the mall that you think I can't afford?....So tell me! What exactly moved you to his bed?! What exactly made you sleep with him?! How long have this been happening?! How many guys so far! Just tell me! Fuckin' tell me Stella!" She shouted, a tear rolled down her cheeks as she glared at me.

"Everything doesn't have to be about money, mom! Not clothes! Not shoes!"

"Then what?!" She interrupted.

"What?! Love?!" She chuckled.

"Love or foolishness!" She spat.

"I know I'd been wrong?! Yes I know I must've acted foolishly! But don't ever take me as a whore mom! I didn't know what made me do it! I was just not in my right state of min--"

"So what?.....You were drunk--"

"I wasn't....I...." I stopped as I stared at my mom.

"Nevermind, you'll just never understand," I said, stepping backwards and out of the door.

Out of the door and straight to my car.

I felt my eyes brimming up with tears again for almost the tenth time today.

I banged the door of my car close before igniting the engine. Atleast no one bothered to call me back or stop me from leaving.

I might not have been drunk that day and I tried to restrain from alcohol as much as I could but it didn't sound like a bad idea right now.

~~~~~~~