The leaves were starting to fall. The campus shifted from hot and summery to mixes of orange's and red's falling from the sky. I clutched the sides of my jacket as the wind started to blow. My backpack is already heavy with my textbooks. I only carried my techniques of college reading book and a few notebooks.

My tennis shoes crunched the leaves underneath me as I walked. I hadn't heard from Sara since last night when she texted me.

I walked towards houston hall. I grabbed my phone and started to text Sara when,

"Leda!" I looked up glancing around and not seeing anyone. Maybe I'm imagining things.

"Leda!" I furrowed my eyebrows looking to where the sound came from. Sara was jumping up and down by the steps in front of the building. Her hand was waving above her head. I got closer to Sara noticing all her friends were there including a blonde boy with his arm hanging off Sara's shoulder.

"Hey girlie." Sara grinned. It was too early to be grinning. And calling me girlie, Maybe she didn't have a hangover today. Sara talked like she is still tipsy from the night before, but most likely I just never talked to her so I never knew she was this cheery.

"Hey guys." I smiled quick and then let my face fall back to where it was. Vee was glaring at Levi who stood between Noah and who I'm guessing is Ethan. I shouldn't of gone upstairs with Levi last night. He should've stayed with Vee and Noah could've came with me.

"This is my boyfriend." Sara turned her head to his and their nose's slightly touched. "Ethan." Sara blushed turning her head from his.

I said hi when Noah nudge me in the arm. "Hey, do you have techniques reading, whatever it's called."

I turned towards him slightly still making it a circle. "Yeah, how'd you guess?" Noah had slight scruff on his chin from a late shave.

"I'm pretty sure you were in devolpmental reading with me last year." He smiled showing a slight gap between his front teeth. My mouth made an O shape.

Then my mind clicked and I remembered.
"Oh my God, yeah you sat in the back and interrupted Professer Kawits." I almost laughed at Noah's smart remarks he always made. He was the funny kid last year.

"Andddd.. you sat in the front." Noah shook his head with a chuckled.

"Hey!" I nudged him. "You learn better in the front."

"Is that a scientific fact?" Levi met my eyes.

"Bet, Romeo." I clicked my tounge with a tilt from my head. "You sit in the front for your next class, and you'll have a better grade than last year."

"And if I don't?" Levi raised an eyebrow.

"Winner gets to choose a dare, of some sort."

"Okay, before someone sells their soul.. You two have class." Sara pointed between Noah and I. I didn't even realise Ethan had left. He was gone just as soon as he had come.

Levi chuckled with smiles all around the circle including me. Except for Vee. She was still glaring at Levi.

"Let's go." Noah left the circle and I followed up the steps and into the heavy woodne dorrs which were open despite the cold. People were walking in and out.

I looked at the people, my heart starting to race. No. Not here.

"Don't ditch me." I said quietly. Breathing in and out of my nose trying not to attract too much attention.

Noah turned to look at me and his face faltered. Don't ask me if i'm okay. It will make it worse.

"Okay." He grabbed my hand and squeezed it slightly. I shut my eyes tightly.

Breathe.

Breathe.

I felt the cool air of the classroom and opened my eyes seeing the seats asend. I stayed at the door taking in the large whiteboard that almost took up the whole teachers wall where they stood. Noah took a seat in the middle of the classroom and waved me over. I used the steps sliding into the middle next to him.

I took my waterbottle out of my bag sipping it slightly.

White boared

Brown desk. Green and blue globe.

Noahs red shirt. the Tan floors.

I could feel my heartbeat slow back down when Professor Kawits walked through the down. A short stubby man with a brown breifcase that looked too large for him. He walked in short quick steps. every now and then his dark brown pants would make a swishing sound telling him he was moving too fast.

Professor kawits set his breifcase down on his test. the clasps opened and he shuffled with notes I'm assumeing are for today class. Then he began.

He passed out the syllabus and it went through the allys.

"Thanks." I whispered to Noah. He looked at me with a confused look and then it settled.

"Anything for a friend." He smiled at me quickly then started to flip through the syallabus.

A friend.

Last year I kept my head in textbooks and assingments. I never thought about having people around me. It was weird. in a good way.

Class went through half an a hour when a boy wearing a hoodie walked through the door. It covered his face. He held his textbook with one hand down had his side. The text book had papers sticking out at all directions.

Professor Kawits cleared his throat watching the kid take a sit in the front. I'm not sure if he wanted to sit there or if it was just the closest one too him. Which ever this kid walking in was the most exciting part in this class.

"Hood." Kawits grumbled while the kid shifted through the pages leaning over to ask the girl next to him. He obviously didn't hear when Professor kawits cleared his throat even louder.

My pen was on my paper reading to take more notes. I looked over at Noah and he shrugged it off doodling on his paper again.

"Sorry?" His voice was deep and throaty. Kawits impatiently tapped his foot.

"Hood." He made sure not to grumble this time. He put his hood down. Instantly there were some gasp and everyone started to stare at the side of his face. I could barely see it. I could see it was swollen. Kawits mumbled something under his breath.

"Lets continue, class." He annouced throughout the room.

**

Noah and I walked throughout the court yard. "Sara and Ethan aren't what they seem." Noah casually annocoued. My shoes crunched more leaves

"What do you mean?" Noah seemed like he had been wanting to get it off his chest. He breathed deeply.

"I mean they weren't always like what you just saw. They arent always like that." He waved his hands trying to explain. The way Sara looked at him and the way he looked at her, said it all to me. They seemed like they belonged

I furrowed my eyebrows, I started kicking the knees. Noah needed to elaborate. Say more, because that wasn't enough.

"You know that kid who interrupted class today?" I shook my head.

"Jack Garver. He always shows up to class like that."

"Late." I responded. I looked around the quad watching people pass on their way to class. Noah and I were headed to a coffee shop they all liked to hang out at. Like a post day hangover spot. At least thats what Noah said and Sara texted inviting me although Noah already had.

"No, Beat up. bruised all the time." Noah pulled on the ties of his backpack.

"Does he get it.. from home you know?" I frown at the thought. It's terrible how often physical and verbal abuse really happen and how much people ignore it.

"Not sure.." He glanced at me. "Him and Ethan used to be really good friends."

"You don't like Ethan very much, do you?"

"That obvious?" heat rushed to Noah's cheeks. It wasn't funny he just did it lightheartedly. I could tell he didn't want to talk about him at the moment. Maybe because I don't know him very well or maybe because its a sensitive subject.

"So, how far away is this 'hangover' spot?" I changed the subject.

"Right over there, sorry we usually take Vee's van." He walked towards the bright blue doors. It was a brick building with graffiti tagged all the way around. It didn't look vandlised, it looked like it was meant to be there.

I smiled at the building. "I knew you would like it." Noah smiled opening the blue door to let me through. The inside of the cafe had paintings and pictures strung up against the walls. The graffiti was on the inside too. Fairy lights were strung up around the shop.

Noah walked past me to a table that sat Vee, Sara, and Levi. Noah said that Ethan isn't want he seems. Maybe Ethan didn't even know that they came here, he could be late too. Noah didn't give me much to go off of.

"How was class nerds?" Vee spun a wooden popsicle stick in what seemed like hot chocolate or some sugary drink. Sara's eye were big and looked like she was ready to hear all about professoor kawits.

"Jack Garver is in our class, maybe that will make it more intresting? eh." Noah drops his bag next to his chair and Sara's face drops.

"Sara?" I tried to find her eyes, she stared blankly.

"I'm going to go get a refill." She said absently with a tight lipped smile.

Levi looked at Noah with a strained jaw. He shook his head slowly. I didn't belong here. In this conversation, with these people. I was a year too late. I think they knew it too.

I grabbed my backpack from off the floor. "I'm gonna go." I pushed in my chair and walked out of the blue doors. I don't think I'll be coming back in them anytime soon.

"Leda!" Either Noah or Levi. I turned to look. It was Levi. I kept walking onto the sidewalk and back to my dorm.

I could hear Levi jog up to me as the leaves crunch beneathe his nike's. "Could you wait a second?" He stepped in front of me making me stop.

"It's not a good idea." I let my eyes watch my feet. I liked having a group. I wanted to. I just needed to find a different group.

"What?" He asked even though I know he knew.

I raised my hands, throwing them up in the air. "You guys are great." I looked back at the cafe.

"I don't... I don't belong." I mumbled. It sounded ridiculous once I said it out loud.

He exhaled a deep sigh. "Jesus." He mumbled.

Levi looked up to the clouds. Trying to find something. "You're wrong." I started to say I wasn't that I know how these things work. I'll be that girl that hangs around.

"You can walk away and do whatever the hell you want, but you're wrong." He shrugged his shoulders. This is the most serious I've ever seen Levi.

He started to walk back to the cafe when he turned around. "And Leda?" I Turned towards him.

"Yeah?"

"For the record.." He glanced at the coffee shop and back to me. "I hope you don't."

I walked back to the dorm. Sara must still be at the cafe. It wasn't dumb. was it? Do I actually have a point or am I just being scared. I don't want to be scared anymore. I don'twant to go through college stuffing my head in books and things that don't matter. I want to do something.

I don't want to get hurt, maybe if I cut myself off first, it won't be as bad

I flipped through the syllabuses from today, debate, english. I start some speech tomorrow.

I don't want to be a lawyer. Mostly because I don't want to be my parents. Theyre drones of people. They aren't happy. Partly because I don't want to be a lawyer. I grabbed my phone

To: Sara

You busy?

My desk already looked cluttered and it was just the first day of school.

Sara (1)

w/ E... b home 2nite. everyone else is at BTP

BTP? Beta theta phi.

I flipped through my closest. I have sundresses, maybe a jean skirt would work. I threw it on with a cropped black tank top. I looked over my shoulder at Sara's closet. Bright colors and sparkly dresses were flowing out of it.

I grabbed that tiny purse that basically only held my phone and some cash. The zipper tugged as I tried to close it.

"Okay Leda." I faced myself in the mirror and flattened my skirt with my hands that felt sweaty.

"Don't be a chicken shit." I breathed deeply through my nose and out my mouth. And with that I left. I hit the cold outside and was glad for my jean jacket I remembered this time.

Keep walking forward Leda. Friends are nice. Friends are good. You're good enough to have friends. Geez. Don't be stupid. I picked up my walking pace and shook my head.

I saw the house in the distance. The music was loud enough to where I could tell Drake was singing through the speakers.

'I got enemies gotta lot enemies, gotta lot of people tryna drain me of my energy'

People were hanging off the porch like last night. I reconized some people who said hi to Sara. Some people looked at me like they've seen me before, but maybe decided against it with the wash out of alchol and whatever else they took the night before.

I walked through the sweaty bodies. Hopefully they're on the same couch from yesterday. Some guy started to walk past me with a tray of jello shots. I picked a green one, tipping it down my throat and put the cup back in the tray, mumbling a thanks.

I walked down the stairs seeing the group on the same red couch. Noah is smoking a cigarette, He is spread out on his side of the couch. With Vee on the other side, sitting up straight with her legs crossed. A beer was placed in her hand talking to a guy leaning against the wall. Her other hand was twirling a string of her pink hair

Levi stood by the couch talking to some guy who looks like he lived in the frat with him. Basically with khaki shorts and the Beta Theta Phi plastered on his red shirt in white. Levi wore jeans with a white Beta Theata phi tee.

I swallowed the lump in my throat walking towards the couch.

"I thought we wouldn't see you again." Vee looked me up in down then snarled. I rolled my eyes looking towards Noah.

"Hey friend." He chuckled. Noah seemed to be drinking more than last night.

Ethan.

Levi turned away from his frat friend and looked at me with a surprised expression on his face.

"Leda." the cheeky smile appeared. I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. I walked closer to the couch, I sat down and took the cigarette from Noah.

"Hey friend." I dragged the cigarette once and gave it back.

half an hour later I told them all, even Vee that I had class early tomorrow and needed to get going, even if I wasn't going to bed. I still wanted to talk to Sara.

Levi said he would walk me home in five minutes. He needed to 'do something' twenty minutes later I was still on the couch with Noah.

Vee went home with that guy. Levi was nowhere to be seen. I nudged Noah. "Walk me home?"

Noah nodded and we left the house onto the sidewalk. I won't lie. I can feel the tinge dissapointment in my gut from Levi. I know, I just know I shouldn't expect anything from him. So I won't.

"Are you going to tell me what's up?" I watched my steps fall in sync of Noah's. The music from the party faded away as we walked. Noah held a deep sigh while reaching his hand closest to me in his back pocket. He opened his hand, A red cardbored container. He pulled out a cigarette lit it with a blue bic.

He laughed looking up to the stars. Noah inhaled the smoke then breathed it out. "The sky?" Noah thought it was funny, laughing at his own joke.

My eyes rolled. "Come on." He went silent kicking stray pebbles that were scattered on the sidewalk.

Leda you're fine. Obviously somethings up. Don't push him about it if he doesn't want to talk.

"How am I supposed to be your best friend if you never tell me whats going on? Huh?" I nudged his arm again with a small smile. I turned away and winced.

Bad joke Leda.

"Sara." Noah's voice was low and hard. Another inhale.

He waited for me to speak. I looked up at the billions of stars. I could go into astrology. Something to do with the stars. Anything, but a lawyer.

"Does everybody else see it?" My eyebrows furrowed. His hand streatch out the cigarette towards me. Asking if I wanted a hit. I took it.

"See what?" Noah stuffed his hands in his pockets like some sort of defense mechanism.

"That you like her, may even be in love with her." I sound like I am trying to explain it to him even though he knows all too well.

"I just don't fucking understand why she's with that, with that..." I can tell he didn't want to say it out loud.

"Flakey ass douche whatever the fuck low life piece of utter trash." He strung it out like it was one word.

I snorted. "Say that three times fast." I mumbled under my breathe. I saw Noah turn his head in my direction. He looked at me oddly.

"Sorry." I uttered. I could feel the heat rush to my cheeks. Noah started to laugh, I almost let out a breath in relief.

"You are funny Leda Jackson, Why can't I like you instead of Sara?" I could smell beer on his breath, We stopped at the front steps of my dorm.

I laughed. Throwing my head back. "Because.. I'm not Sara." I took the cigarette from his mouth. "And Sara is not me." I raised an eyebrow.

"Well Levi has a thing for you." Noah followed it with a whistle drifted off.

I shook my head grinning. "Whatever." I punched his arm lightly.

"You wanna to fight?" His hands started to reach out to me. "I fight better when I'm drunk Ledaaa." He dragged out my name.

Noah starts to walk towards me. "No, no ,no." I can't wipe the grin off my face. He grabs my waist throwing me over his shoulder.

We start to spin. I'm screaming in a giggle fit. "Noah!" I try to catch my breath. "Noah! Put me down!" I fail trying to be stern in my voice.

A voice comes from the distance. "What's going on guys?"